Comments on: How to Let Go of Someone You Love http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-someone-you-love-letting-go-of-the-past/ Got goals? Need a push in the right direction? You've come to the right place! Thu, 24 May 2012 06:38:43 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: taysmith http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-someone-you-love-letting-go-of-the-past/comment-page-31/#comment-44260 taysmith Tue, 22 May 2012 22:32:14 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=379#comment-44260 This is for heather we are going threw almost the same thing were we try n try n no matter what we do seems like these men don't love us back and we are being used.we know deep down were not getting the love we deserve and it may hurt n we may be lonely but the pain of being with these men are worst.there's some1 out there that will love us inside n out n we have to try n be strong let go try n be happy and find them these loosers will need us b4 we need them that's for sure This is for heather we are going threw almost the same thing were we try n try n no matter what we do seems like these men don’t love us back and we are being used.we know deep down were not getting the love we deserve and it may hurt n we may be lonely but the pain of being with these men are worst.there’s some1 out there that will love us inside n out n we have to try n be strong let go try n be happy and find them these loosers will need us b4 we need them that’s for sure

]]> By: heather http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-someone-you-love-letting-go-of-the-past/comment-page-31/#comment-44214 heather Tue, 22 May 2012 03:09:46 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=379#comment-44214 So i have been with this guy for five years on and off he use to be so perfect in the beging of the first two years he was caring compassionate loving sweet sensitive and wanted to spend all his time with me now the beging of the third year he met this group of friends he started hanging out with them often he started to ge really distant and disappeared for two days(he lived with me) with no text or call nothing i found out i was pregnant i was sohappy and then he finally texts me and dumps me i was so heartbroken and in the same night. I found out he cheated on me for the first time i was so stressed out to the max that topped it long story short i lost my baby ever since then he dpes the same thing untill recently he started to show he was going back but he tricked me into believing that he cheated on his current girlfriend with me to get money i had no idea he had a girlfriend this man has litterally destroyed me he mentally physically abused me made me feeel worthless i gave him everything everytime i try to move on and i start to feeling better he comes back and my guard tumbles :( i have no clue what to do anymore please someone help :( So i have been with this guy for five years on and off he use to be so perfect in the beging of the first two years he was caring compassionate loving sweet sensitive and wanted to spend all his time with me now the beging of the third year he met this group of friends he started hanging out with them often he started to ge really distant and disappeared for two days(he lived with me) with no text or call nothing i found out i was pregnant i was sohappy and then he finally texts me and dumps me i was so heartbroken and in the same night. I found out he cheated on me for the first time i was so stressed out to the max that topped it long story short i lost my baby ever since then he dpes the same thing untill recently he started to show he was going back but he tricked me into believing that he cheated on his current girlfriend with me to get money i had no idea he had a girlfriend this man has litterally destroyed me he mentally physically abused me made me feeel worthless i gave him everything everytime i try to move on and i start to feeling better he comes back and my guard tumbles :( i have no clue what to do anymore please someone help :(

]]> By: Siobhan Nicola http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-someone-you-love-letting-go-of-the-past/comment-page-31/#comment-44148 Siobhan Nicola Mon, 21 May 2012 07:04:03 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=379#comment-44148 Hi all, I have started looking into the reality behind abusive relationships considering the recent circumstances that have come to light. I moved to Australia about 18 months ago and began dating a guy who I thought was just the bees knees. We had such similar interests, he was in my mind just gorgeous, he worked hard, he made me laugh, and being I am a very sick person, he would take a lot of my physical pain and issues away somehow because I was always smiling. He ran into financial trouble about 3 months into the relationship. We dealt with this struggle for many months after. His idiot of a boss shut down the company without telling anyone, he lost his job, then totaled his car, then ended up in debt. I did everything I could to help him, letting him stay when he needed, lending money, giving him meals but more importantly all my free time. I am a university student and its hard to balance uni and a boyfriend who cant stand his own two feet. I loved him dearly, no person has ever made me feel quite this way. However he turned into someone I didnt know, and I wasnt the only person who noticed it. He started telling me I was ugly with my hair tied back in a ponytail, telling me what I looked better in, what I needed to wear. When he was staying with a friend instead of me, he would come over to visit then say he had work early(i helped him get a new job) and he had to go home at a reasonable time. Then I learned he was going out some of these supposed early nights to pubs and bars. One night after an argument, he said he was coming over to sort things out. 9 O clock at night I was left sitting there alone in my house waiting for him. One night he got angry, I was really really unwell and in severe amounts of pain, and he wouldn't stop screaming at me. I pushed him to get him out of my face, and he started fuming and punched a wall. He once left me standing in a parking lot for half an hour after I had expressed being offended about something he had said. He constantly acted different around his male friends so he seemed like he had total control over me, and could use women as he pleased. I started to realize thats exactly what he was doing. He was using me when he needed me, or needed help then tossing me under the bridge. I eventually had the courage to leave him, despite being frightened of his anger. Lucky for me he just cried. 5 months on and I thought I could manage and cope with unblocking his number and so forth after he had persistently tried to apologize and "friend" me. We spent one evening out together as "friends" and I fell right back into his charm, and we have both fallen right back into our addictive ways. He works in the mines so he is only around 10 days out of the month. I was so happy to have him back. Until I spoke to my family and friends and they began to remind me of those nasty things again. Now I am stuck in this awful position. The man I love is the man who has the ability to make me more miserable than ever, to make me feel ugly and worthless. My mother constantly tells me that I am worth so much more, and I should never be with someone who makes me feel less than amazing. Its so hard when you are so addicted to someone, feel like you cant live with them. Its what you want, Its what I want. All I can think about is him, and the plans we have and its such a good feeling. I am I stupid for wanting to try again, thinking that all the nasty stuff that happened was just because of his finances, or is he really just not a good person? I know how stress can take a huge toll on your life, but I cant decipher between what is really him and what is just a product of stress. Am I just making excuses for him? Hi all, I have started looking into the reality behind abusive relationships considering the recent circumstances that have come to light. I moved to Australia about 18 months ago and began dating a guy who I thought was just the bees knees. We had such similar interests, he was in my mind just gorgeous, he worked hard, he made me laugh, and being I am a very sick person, he would take a lot of my physical pain and issues away somehow because I was always smiling. He ran into financial trouble about 3 months into the relationship. We dealt with this struggle for many months after. His idiot of a boss shut down the company without telling anyone, he lost his job, then totaled his car, then ended up in debt. I did everything I could to help him, letting him stay when he needed, lending money, giving him meals but more importantly all my free time. I am a university student and its hard to balance uni and a boyfriend who cant stand his own two feet. I loved him dearly, no person has ever made me feel quite this way. However he turned into someone I didnt know, and I wasnt the only person who noticed it. He started telling me I was ugly with my hair tied back in a ponytail, telling me what I looked better in, what I needed to wear. When he was staying with a friend instead of me, he would come over to visit then say he had work early(i helped him get a new job) and he had to go home at a reasonable time. Then I learned he was going out some of these supposed early nights to pubs and bars. One night after an argument, he said he was coming over to sort things out. 9 O clock at night I was left sitting there alone in my house waiting for him. One night he got angry, I was really really unwell and in severe amounts of pain, and he wouldn’t stop screaming at me. I pushed him to get him out of my face, and he started fuming and punched a wall. He once left me standing in a parking lot for half an hour after I had expressed being offended about something he had said. He constantly acted different around his male friends so he seemed like he had total control over me, and could use women as he pleased. I started to realize thats exactly what he was doing. He was using me when he needed me, or needed help then tossing me under the bridge. I eventually had the courage to leave him, despite being frightened of his anger. Lucky for me he just cried. 5 months on and I thought I could manage and cope with unblocking his number and so forth after he had persistently tried to apologize and “friend” me. We spent one evening out together as “friends” and I fell right back into his charm, and we have both fallen right back into our addictive ways. He works in the mines so he is only around 10 days out of the month. I was so happy to have him back. Until I spoke to my family and friends and they began to remind me of those nasty things again. Now I am stuck in this awful position. The man I love is the man who has the ability to make me more miserable than ever, to make me feel ugly and worthless. My mother constantly tells me that I am worth so much more, and I should never be with someone who makes me feel less than amazing. Its so hard when you are so addicted to someone, feel like you cant live with them. Its what you want, Its what I want. All I can think about is him, and the plans we have and its such a good feeling. I am I stupid for wanting to try again, thinking that all the nasty stuff that happened was just because of his finances, or is he really just not a good person? I know how stress can take a huge toll on your life, but I cant decipher between what is really him and what is just a product of stress. Am I just making excuses for him?

]]> By: Kinley http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-someone-you-love-letting-go-of-the-past/comment-page-31/#comment-44119 Kinley Mon, 21 May 2012 00:14:36 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=379#comment-44119 This message is for Sherry B. Your husband my be enjoying the good life with someone else but his true colors will surely come out. And feeling your pain makes you a strong person don't shame yourself for it. You have a heart which is more than I can say for this guy. The pain will end I promise.....the best way to take your power back is live the best life possible and when he comes crawling back you won't want him because you will realize you deserve someone who wants the best for you:) Lots of Love to you all. This message is for Sherry B. Your husband my be enjoying the good life with someone else but his true colors will surely come out. And feeling your pain makes you a strong person don’t shame yourself for it. You have a heart which is more than I can say for this guy. The pain will end I promise…..the best way to take your power back is live the best life possible and when he comes crawling back you won’t want him because you will realize you deserve someone who wants the best for you:) Lots of Love to you all.

]]> By: SherryB http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-someone-you-love-letting-go-of-the-past/comment-page-31/#comment-44101 SherryB Sun, 20 May 2012 16:23:16 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=379#comment-44101 Wow. I didm't realize so many were hurting the same way I am. Was married 20 yrs with 4 boys. Put up with a lot of abuse over the years. Forgave him, tried again, lost myself and my family along the way. Finally had to kick him out. Saw him a couple of weeks ago with his new girlfriend. Hurts so much. They seem to be happy with many new toys, house, sports car, etc. Never had those with me. We just made do with junk. Been divorced several years and have dated couple times. Didn't work out, was no heartbreak for me. Don't think I'll ever love again. Don't know how to see someone else as attractive. My kids see my hurt over new girlfriend. Ashamed. I should be stonger. How do I move on? What was wrong with me? Why was I never good enough for him to treat me with respect? Wow. I didm’t realize so many were hurting the same way I am. Was married 20 yrs with 4 boys. Put up with a lot of abuse over the years. Forgave him, tried again, lost myself and my family along the way. Finally had to kick him out. Saw him a couple of weeks ago with his new girlfriend. Hurts so much. They seem to be happy with many new toys, house, sports car, etc. Never had those with me. We just made do with junk. Been divorced several years and have dated couple times. Didn’t work out, was no heartbreak for me. Don’t think I’ll ever love again. Don’t know how to see someone else as attractive. My kids see my hurt over new girlfriend. Ashamed. I should be stonger. How do I move on? What was wrong with me? Why was I never good enough for him to treat me with respect?

]]> By: sk http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-someone-you-love-letting-go-of-the-past/comment-page-31/#comment-44073 sk Sun, 20 May 2012 07:08:13 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=379#comment-44073 i never thought this day would come....today i realized i need to break up...i am only 90% sure i need to break up, but the rest 10% is the confusion part+ realization of hurting him part+regret part...i am not what he wants and he is not what i thought he is. the only reason i would not be able to break up is the realization that i would hurt him....i don't want to hurt anyone but i am not happy with him! he gets angry for small reasons n fights for small things, he never realized i never let him know that he hurts my self respect most of the time when he is joking or angry.....and i know i'm not gonna be able to tell him this all when he asks me the reason for our break up...m sure i'll definitely end up as the bad guy....but he will never realize i am doing the both of us a favor....(but i am also hurting him).......and at this point i don't know what is right n what is not!and i don't know when the break up will happen but i hate the fact that he led me to do this!...i don't have any idea how i will deal with it all but i am just worried abt him...it sucks...!!! i never thought this day would come….today i realized i need to break up…i am only 90% sure i need to break up, but the rest 10% is the confusion part+ realization of hurting him part+regret part…i am not what he wants and he is not what i thought he is. the only reason i would not be able to break up is the realization that i would hurt him….i don’t want to hurt anyone but i am not happy with him! he gets angry for small reasons n fights for small things, he never realized i never let him know that he hurts my self respect most of the time when he is joking or angry…..and i know i’m not gonna be able to tell him this all when he asks me the reason for our break up…m sure i’ll definitely end up as the bad guy….but he will never realize i am doing the both of us a favor….(but i am also hurting him)…….and at this point i don’t know what is right n what is not!and i don’t know when the break up will happen but i hate the fact that he led me to do this!…i don’t have any idea how i will deal with it all but i am just worried abt him…it sucks…!!!

]]> By: Olerato http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-someone-you-love-letting-go-of-the-past/comment-page-31/#comment-44026 Olerato Sat, 19 May 2012 17:33:36 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=379#comment-44026 My boyfriend or should i say my fiance is seriously driving me over the edge. We were supposed to get married in October this year but because of his family it's not going to happen. His family in fact told him that he is not going to get married until after four years. Personally i'm in no hurry to get married but because I love him truly very much and I know he's the guy i want to spend my life with,I accepted his proposal last year when he asked me to marry him. Things were so great between us and his family liked me and we all got along really well but when he proposed everything changed. His mother started to control him and she even told him how she wants him to live his life,and he's doing exactly what his mother says. His sisters and brothers are also practically controlling him and he's just sitting back and following orders. This has put a huge strain on our relationship and no matter how many times i tell him how I feel,he won't listen. We just bought a house together(which we were supposed to move into after the wedding) and we don't know what to do with it because we can't move in together before marriage(which will be in 4years) and the way his family is controlling him,we'll probably constantly fight if we manage to convince our families that we moving in together.The controlling issue has been going on since Jan this year and it keeps getting worse. We are now spending our time together discussing how we will get through the family issues than focusing on us and having quality time. He recently moved in with his brother and he's all the time rushing to get home because he doesn't want to get home late(says he respects his brother). I don't mind him getting home early but the manner in which he does it,it's as though his family takes priority over me and it doesn't really matter what we were doing or talking about,when he says he's leaving,he actually leaves. I feel like i'm at a breaking point because I've talked to him, explained to him how i feel,begged him to understand but it hasn't made any difference. I just wanna get out of the relationship,but I love him so so so much,i just don't know how to do it and it's hurts me so bad looking at him and thinking that i might never actually get to be with him for the rest of my life because of his family. My boyfriend or should i say my fiance is seriously driving me over the edge. We were supposed to get married in October this year but because of his family it’s not going to happen. His family in fact told him that he is not going to get married until after four years. Personally i’m in no hurry to get married but because I love him truly very much and I know he’s the guy i want to spend my life with,I accepted his proposal last year when he asked me to marry him. Things were so great between us and his family liked me and we all got along really well but when he proposed everything changed. His mother started to control him and she even told him how she wants him to live his life,and he’s doing exactly what his mother says. His sisters and brothers are also practically controlling him and he’s just sitting back and following orders. This has put a huge strain on our relationship and no matter how many times i tell him how I feel,he won’t listen. We just bought a house together(which we were supposed to move into after the wedding) and we don’t know what to do with it because we can’t move in together before marriage(which will be in 4years) and the way his family is controlling him,we’ll probably constantly fight if we manage to convince our families that we moving in together.The controlling issue has been going on since Jan this year and it keeps getting worse. We are now spending our time together discussing how we will get through the family issues than focusing on us and having quality time. He recently moved in with his brother and he’s all the time rushing to get home because he doesn’t want to get home late(says he respects his brother). I don’t mind him getting home early but the manner in which he does it,it’s as though his family takes priority over me and it doesn’t really matter what we were doing or talking about,when he says he’s leaving,he actually leaves. I feel like i’m at a breaking point because I’ve talked to him, explained to him how i feel,begged him to understand but it hasn’t made any difference. I just wanna get out of the relationship,but I love him so so so much,i just don’t know how to do it and it’s hurts me so bad looking at him and thinking that i might never actually get to be with him for the rest of my life because of his family.

]]> By: Gina Marie http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-someone-you-love-letting-go-of-the-past/comment-page-31/#comment-43936 Gina Marie Fri, 18 May 2012 03:23:31 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=379#comment-43936 My beautiful mother passed away 1/22/12. My family and I are devastated. My brother, Mike, and I got into a huge fight. Sadly, I had terrible withdrawal symptoms after being on ambien and zantax for a week after my mom passed but I needed help that week especially. I flipped out on my brother and he really didn't deserve it. I apologized profusely and I know the med. withdrawal really messed me up. It's been 3 months and he won't talk to me, no emails, nothing. I took care of him when we were kids and mom was sick and it hurts SO much that he won't let me back into his life. We only have him, my dad and myself in the US. We are all we have. Sadly, he has cut me out of his life in the past twice before. Once, for 8 months and another time for 7 months and it was always stupid crap. All that matters is health and happiness just like my dad always says. When will he realize that this is so unfair. Thank you for your advice and your ear. I pray one day we will be talking again but for now, like you said, I have to focus on myself. My beautiful mother passed away 1/22/12. My family and I are devastated. My brother, Mike, and I got into a huge fight. Sadly, I had terrible withdrawal symptoms after being on ambien and zantax for a week after my mom passed but I needed help
that week especially.
I flipped out on my brother and he really didn’t deserve it. I apologized profusely and I know the med. withdrawal really messed me up.
It’s been 3 months and he won’t talk to me, no emails, nothing. I took care of him when
we were kids and mom was sick and it hurts SO much that he won’t let me back into his life. We only have him, my dad and myself in the US. We are all we have. Sadly, he has cut me out of his life in the past twice before. Once, for 8 months and another time for 7 months and it was always stupid crap. All that matters is health and happiness just like my dad always says. When will he realize that this is so unfair.

Thank you for your advice and your ear. I pray one day we will be talking again but for now, like you said, I have to focus on myself.

]]> By: taysmith http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-someone-you-love-letting-go-of-the-past/comment-page-31/#comment-43849 taysmith Wed, 16 May 2012 13:30:53 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=379#comment-43849 This is to shattered and broken.I kno and feel exactly wat u feel inside..there's nothing wrong with us we for some reason feel the need to want something that's unhealtyh for us.this pain is not fair and its gonna take a lot of time to make it stop.thing is while we are grieving they are living there lives without a care in the world we have to get out n meet people.they don't know how to love and didn't deserve us to start we were blinded bt the fake side of them love is not suppose to hurt this bad its not love when the other party can hurt you lile uou mean nothing they don't know how to love we have to move fwwd some how This is to shattered and broken.I kno and feel exactly wat u feel inside..there’s nothing wrong with us we for some reason feel the need to want something that’s unhealtyh for us.this pain is not fair and its gonna take a lot of time to make it stop.thing is while we are grieving they are living there lives without a care in the world we have to get out n meet people.they don’t know how to love and didn’t deserve us to start we were blinded bt the fake side of them love is not suppose to hurt this bad its not love when the other party can hurt you lile uou mean nothing they don’t know how to love we have to move fwwd some how

]]> By: Carol http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-let-go-of-someone-you-love-letting-go-of-the-past/comment-page-31/#comment-43801 Carol Tue, 15 May 2012 17:05:00 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=379#comment-43801 I was seeing this guy for almost three years now but i broke with him four months ago. I didn't know i was going to be this hurt but depending on the nature of the relationship that we had I actually had to say enough is enough. He emotionally abused me for three years and I did not complain. My life has been dormant for three years and I blamed it on him for not doing anything about us. For me I think I tried the best that I could to save our dying relationship but he was reluctant in everything he couldn't even talk to me on phone on the numerous times I called him and I think the bad things that he did not me outdo the good things that he did to me so I just its time for me to move on. However after gathering enough courage I texted him and told him to forget about everything and sure he did. This was not our first breakup, we had broken up several times but always got back together after me calling him and swallowing my pride and talk to him. I just didn't want to take it anymore coz i was feeling used and manipulated and decided to hell with everything. However after a month or so I started missing him a lot but I don't want to be the one to initiate everything but right now am feeling sick and am desperate I don't know how to move on I have tried but I just can't ave been mourning ever since we part ways though I know this was the best decision for us coz I don't want to see the awkward things that guy used to do. I was seeing this guy for almost three years now but i broke with him four months ago. I didn’t know i was going to be this hurt but depending on the nature of the relationship that we had I actually had to say enough is enough. He emotionally abused me for three years and I did not complain. My life has been dormant for three years and I blamed it on him for not doing anything about us. For me I think I tried the best that I could to save our dying relationship but he was reluctant in everything he couldn’t even talk to me on phone on the numerous times I called him and I think the bad things that he did not me outdo the good things that he did to me so I just its time for me to move on. However after gathering enough courage I texted him and told him to forget about everything and sure he did. This was not our first breakup, we had broken up several times but always got back together after me calling him and swallowing my pride and talk to him. I just didn’t want to take it anymore coz i was feeling used and manipulated and decided to hell with everything.
However after a month or so I started missing him a lot but I don’t want to be the one to initiate everything but right now am feeling sick and am desperate I don’t know how to move on I have tried but I just can’t ave been mourning ever since we part ways though I know this was the best decision for us coz I don’t want to see the awkward things that guy used to do.

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