Aug 232008

When you have no choice but to leave a relationship behind, you need help learning how to let go of someone you love. These tips on letting go will help you move forward in your life. When you’re letting go of someone you love, you need to try different things until you find what works for you.

letting go of love

“How to Let Go of Someone You Love” ebook

When I wrote 75 Ways to Let Go of Someone You Love, I interviewed life coaches, counselors, and grief coaches on letting go. I know how shocking, confusing, and heart-wrenching when your partner leaves. It’s devastating – and it changes how you see yourself. I believe learning how to let go of someone you love is about rediscovering your passion and identity.

These tips are inspired by a reader who asked for help detaching and letting go of someone she cares about (her husband), even though he’s not quite “gone” yet. Here’s part of her email: “My husband of 3 years is planning to leave me without an explanation,” says Michelle (not her real name). “He is in a band and tours every now and then, but that has never been a problem till this tour… within a week of being on this tour he started distancing himself. No calls, hardly any replies to my messages on Facebook. I want to know how to let go of someone you love because I believe he will leave me.  How do I start over?”

In this post on letting go of someone you love, I focus on reconnecting with the most important person in your life: you. In my “letting go of someone you love” ebook, I offer more in-depth information.

5 Tips on Letting Go

It’s important to remember that letting go of someone you love isn’t something you do once – and poof! You’re free, healed, and happy. Rather, letting go is a journey peppered with steps forward and steps backward, good days and bad days.

1. Accept that you did the best you could in your relationship. Don’t waste your time or energy feeling guilty or bad about the choices you made in your relationship. You did the best you could, you loved as much as you were able. No matter what you did or didn’t do in your relationship, it ended — and it probably would have ended regardless. If you want to be happy and healthy – which involves learning how to let go of someone you love – you need practice acceptance.

2. Decide what needs to change in your life. You have to actively decide you want to let go of someone you love.  Who do you want to be? Where do you want to live, work, love, play, and laugh? Instead of mourning the fact that you have to start over because your relationship ended, I want you to try celebrating it. Stop focusing on your ex and the pain. Instead, focus on the excitement of a new beginning and fresh start. I know it’s easier said than done – especially if your husband left you for another woman – but it’s better for you in the long run.

letting go of someone you love3. Accept your lack of control. To let go of someone you love, you need to accept that you can’t control many things in your life. You can’t control who loves you, who leaves you, who helps you, who betrays you. You can’t control your neighbourhood, the traffic, the weather, or the economy. Of all the things you want to change in your life, remember that you can’t change people. You can sometimes change circumstances, and you can change your attitude and response to events and people…but you can’t change your husband, children, coworkers, neighbours, or family members.

If you need a more step-by-step approach to letting go of someone you love, read How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days: A Day-by-Day Guide to Saying Good-bye and Getting On With Your Life by Howard Bronson.

4. Tap into your soul – start over spiritually. The happiest people are those who are in touch with their spirits. Adding spirituality to your life not only makes you feel better emotionally, it improves your physical health. Tap into your soul by meditating, praying, taking time to really listen to your heart, reading Scripture or other soulful books, and talking to people about spiritual matters. The end of a relationship – when you’re trying to let go of someone you love – is a perfect time to start getting back into your spiritual life.

letting go of someone you love

“How to Let Go of Someone You Love” image by Laurie

5. Get outside help on how to let go of someone you love. A life coach, counselor, financial adviser, or even a professional organizer can help you let go and move on. Whether you should hire a life coach or talk to a counsellor depends on your situation. If you’re struggling with self-identity, major life changes, fear, anxiety, depression, or your marriage – then I encourage you to talk to a counsellor. Therapists can provide objective feedback and guidance that our friends and family can’t offer. If you have money problems, financial advisers can help you become financially independent. Professional organizers can help you declutter — which can improve your physical and mental health!

Here’s another article I recently wrote on how to let go of someone you love: How to Get Over a Bad Breakup.

I hope these tips on letting go of  someone you love help. Please feel free to share your story below. I can’t offer advice, but it often helps to write your thoughts and feelings, even if you feel embarrassed or ashamed.

It’s important to remember that letting go of someone you cared deeply for is a process that takes time. I recommend  75 Ways to Let Go of Someone You Love, and encourage you to read one or two tips every day. Let yourself heal gradually, and grieve your loss. Don’t expect to be happy overnight! It’ll take time and work, but if you take it slow and steady, you’ll find yourself coming out of the tunnel of darkness.

  956 Responses to “How to Let Go of Someone You Love”

  1. im 20 years old (i know yall are gonna say im still young and i have the rest of my life to find the right one but please dont tell me that) i was with this 25 year old who has a little girl who just has my heart… but let me rewind a little my first love was when i was 17 and he just completly broke my heart ever since then i feel like theres something wrong with me cause the few guys i do give the chance with i eventully end it for whatever reason,,but the guy i just broke up with,(cause of my choice) he says i ten too let ppl control my life and my choices, andd im thinking maybe hes right and thats why ive been scrwing up with every guy i hate it and i dont know how to fix it my mom thinks i can find a white guy but im not sure i can. pleasse give me some kind of advice

  2. i been qoinq out witt a gurl for a few monthes and played her buht theen i start likinq her wen monthes past nd i asked her out aqaian ‘ I felt in love made 1year nd 1month theen we spent so much time met her family got cool witth her friends chilled with her went to her house all the time etc . . . she start likinq another guy and it felt like hell cause i putt my whole life in one relationship and it all went down . . we stop talking i stop falling for her a little theen one night she hits mee up gotta no where nd she tells mee that she still wants to mee wen shes with other person i was happy but it wass to good that it took over mee . . after that we been going out everything was good till her birthday came . . we made one year theen she been hiding something till shee jusst told her dad didnt want us seeing us going out after that my whole life fell . . theen she start liking my best friend . . till now i dont know what to do cause my friend lies to her and plays with her mind . . i want her back i would kill nd fight for her she knows i love her and her family ‘ yeah im 14 and i use to play girls out but i just want her i fc**ing love her she has the key to my heart i dont care who she likes cause i know im somewhere deep in her heart all im asking for is her she knows shes still mines # Love hurts
    ‘ 9/24/10

  3. My story is not the loss of a man in my life, but two people I thought thru anything our family would always be..Ihave been part of my husbands father and stepmother for 25 years and just recently we had our first family issue, and they completly shut us out of their lives. It has devasated me…Especially when they wont even tell us what really happend. The feeling of powerlessness is really bothering me. how do you let go of a love you thought would always be there?? My husband seems to be handling it better then me.. We have children that we have to explain that their grandparents cant be around and that is very hard. I need to learn to let go but how???

  4. I am still dealing with my husband having had an affair with my thirty eight year old niece and he was fifty eight. It has taken two years just to talk without wanting to just throw something at him. I found out I had cancer two months after he confessed to the affair. He was a cop and stopped by her house everyday. I still don’t know if he left her or she left him but she did move out of town. I had to deal with so much pain. Pain from losing my breasts to cancer to feeling like such a failure at my marriage. I had never ever suspected that he would cross the line. He was a good husband,father, and we worked together to raise our family. I made good money so finances was never an issue. But I can tell you one thing..The love is never the love you once experienced..The marriage will never be the same. I am now recovering after the chemo treatment and my hair is growing back. I am still up in the air when I get all my parts back to normal, whether I want to stay or start a new life. Cancer and the affair has changed me forever. he has stood beside me through the cancer treatment but emotionally he is a dead man. He is emotionally abusive if you push him for answers. But I do think to the extent of his honestly is how much you will trust in the future. I told him he should answer any and all questions I ask him and I would decide if I wanted to stay or go….I am still here..thanks for letting me vent..

  5. I was seeing a guy for 2 years , he had an ex girlfriend who he was still inlove with ! but this girl never wanted him back and kept on going on how much she didnt have feelings for him ….. As soon as we started getting serious this girl decided she wanted him back and made everything to win his heart back , now he has dumped me and they seem very happy…. How can a person not wanting a guy for nearly 3 years sdudenly start loving him and wanting him again ????

  6. It had been 3 years after me and my ex broke up. We had been together since I realized what’s called love. We been through all the happy and the sad moments and I just couldn’t imagine life without this person. My heart and my world revolved around him. We broke up though it was my fault. The first year after we broke up, I felt like I was living in hell. It was painful… The most painful experience ever. It hurts so bad the physical pain couldn’t even compare. Everything I do, I’d be thinking abt him and I just couldn’t get over it. The 2nd year I got desperate b/c time did nothing to heal me yet, I wanted a bf, someone. Anyone. Just so I can move on, quit thinking abt him. It didn’t work bc I just can’t find anyone who would take my mind off of him. And noww… during the last month of my 3rd year without him. I’ve grown up to be a much stronger person. It’s not that bad, I’m not sad. Thinking abt him would be sweet memories and those laughs. I’m no longer cry abt it. I’m still waiting for him and I know I can’t seem to love anyone but him. SO I don’t want to keep looking for anyone else. WE talked. And I told him I want him to tell me if he wants me to wait for him, or to go ahead and move on. He’s still there… And no answers.
    Only me and him can feel that love we had together. We are still in love and that is why… 3 years had passed by and both of us haven’t moved on.

    At least I’m glad. I fall in love with the right one. And he was worth the pain. (:

  7. I find a part of me in some of your stories and I hope everything works out for everyone. I personally have be grieving on and off over someone I never had but I believe I was in love with them. I know now that I am not in-love with them anymore, as I haven’t even spoken to this person in over 5 years. I do however still love this person and tell myself there will always be a piece of my heart saved for them which I don’t know if thats a bad thing or good when trying to look to the future. I very much would like to be with someone and I believe that when I find someone my constant reminders of the guy I’ve held on to for all these years (roughly 11 years since I actually considered to “love him” which is when I was 10- ya ya I know how can you love at 10 hah)will fade and I would be able to be happy with someone but I feel like no matter how much I want to find someone, I’m jeopardizing my chances with my drawbacks to when I think of this guy from my past or even think that would I be giving the new guy a fair chance? I feel like I may be emotionally unavailable and I’m only 21 years old and dont know what its like to be in a real relationship because i’ve never let myself get that far. It was only about 3-4 years ago that I actually let myself say I liked another person…I was so convinced I never wanted to love another person. I know deep down I want to find someone and know that I could make it work I just can’t seem to make it happen. Also I know I’m “young” its just hard to see all of your friends with people who they are sincerely happy with or see your friends date and move on so easily …i havent experienced nearly any of these things and its because of this guy and how much time and thought ive put towards it in my life, to come to a realization that i was a complete fool all those years would make most of my life a waste of time. I dont regret loving him but i wish it hadnt affected me to this extent i just want to FULLY move on for once in my life.

  8. I love this boy. He left me. Now I don’t know how to love anymore. I have no idea how I feel anymore. He left me. Goodbye.

  9. I am married but seperated for over 9 years. My husband and I have two children and lived together for almost 10years before marriage. Since our seperation he has had 3 children with different women. I tried to move on since he apparently had done just that. However, it’s hard to move on still married to another. I eventually ended the relationship I tried to begin. Shortly after my husband approach me to work out our marriage. Only thing is, he hasn’t changed a bit. Still seeing multiple women, staying out all night and being financially irresponsible. I never stopped loving him just tried to move on to get a piece of happiness. So now, that I realize he hasn’t changed it hurts just as much as it did before. I need to find a way to let go and be at peace with the decision that was made w/o covering it up with another on the fly relationship. I want to one day be happy with someone that truly wants the same things out of life. Thing is, I don’t know how? I cry all the time now. Don’t sleep much and barely eat. None of this affects him at all. He finds some way to blame me for his behavior. I’ve been to counseling and it doesn’t help. I really don’t know what to do anymore. But I need to find a way to have closure and heal so that this pain goes away.

  10. I love this girl. She is very beautiful. I had to tel her but she then told me that she had a boyfriend she loved. I then decided to take her out of my mind-it was working but the problem is that her room mate who is also her friend always go to my room. the friend is kind of too soft to me that I can touch her the way I want. When I tell her my characters she says I am just like her. We always communicate through mails. I once thought of going through with the friend but decided I must analyze it first. but now the same girl I love is complaining that I have forgotten about her, I have to write to her. I don’t understand this, I mean what am i going to say to her. I hope I will get some help. thanks

  11. My situation is a complicated one…. I met the guy that im currently ivnvolved with at work. Im 22 now and he is 26. We’ve been involved for about three years now. At the time of meeting him he was already in a relationship of 6 years with someone else. I didn’t think us being friends would lead to anything serious. But as the months went on things started to get really serious. I fell madly in love with this guy but knew wat we were doing was wrong.. I didn’t care though. But I started to grow angry because he wasn’t leaving her. So after about 8 months of us being involved he said they had called it quits…. Things didn’t get any better because I wanted him to commit since he was always saying I was the one and was so in love with me. But here we are 3 yrs later and still no commitment…

  12. i love him alot ,no one can do as i do but he seem to bore with me and try to keep distance with me it hurt me alot its vry painfull i think i m not thinking about him but it doest work at all tears come continuously from my eyes i am seek from 2 month i cant study which is vry imp at this point of stage , how can i forget him and do my study plz help me

  13. ma story is vry diff…i hd a relationship of around 3yrs.frm ma 11th grade i knew him.he took all ma responsibilities n cared higher studies we hd 2 move 2 diff city…n it ws dt time wen i got 2 knw d othr syd of ma bf!!i sacrificed ma career,fought wid ma parents jst 2 b wid him.he usd 2 beat me violently,he usd 2 insult me evry single day…he broke ma trust…he opened all ma secrets in frnt of ma frnds!!he tortured me both emotinally n parents wer against dis he took dis as an opportunity n usd 2 blackmail me.its been 2yrs since i broke off wid still as we usd 2 stay nearby..we wer in m in a long distance relationship frm past 9mnths..d guy is vry lovin n carin..he knws abt ma past…bt d thing is dt ma ex wants 2 cm back in ma life again..he cried n beggd fr evrythn..he said he has realised his mistakes n promisd me nt 2 repeat it in future evr..although i hv heard him sayin dis earlier dis tym its diff..he has changd completly…i still hv feelings fr him bt at d same tym i dnt want 2 hurt ma current bf fr ma selfish emotions!!!i dnt knw wt 2 do….ne suggestion???

  14. Relationships are like glass.

    Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken

    than hurt yourself trying to put them back together.

  15. I have gone through a lot of pains due to breakups,I had that boyfriend for about a year,only to realise he was going out with a teen and even made her pregnant,I suffered a lot,I even moved to another town,but now I realize how this has helped me,I have achieved a lot in my life,because I decided to let go of him and concentrate on my life,now I have a better carrier,and I have forgoten about him,though he is my friend,we even chat on fbook,but I have no feelings for him anymore.Sometimes we take breakups as the end of our lives,but believe me,breakups are always the beggining of new pages of life,u get a chance to correct your mistakes and start afresh.someone breaking up with you doesnt mean you are a bad person,it can mean that he/she is the one who is bad,so he/she cant stay with good people like you.When the relationship doesnt work,let the person go as soon as possible,dont block the possibility for new and good relationships!

  16. Tarang….mah Boyfrnd,,, he’s vry gud……He cares for me a lot….He loves me like anything.. We love each other from last5 years & we are in a relationship from last few months.. I have Hurted him many times knowingly or unknowingly….but every time he has forgiven me…. He always hide mah mistakes…& without realising mah mistakes I was hurting him again & again…. then 1 day again due to mah mistake we fought & we broke up :( … I dnt knw why That day I felt like hell… I was crying over mah mistakes… I thought I have lost him forever… Then I came to know that he has faced an accident, I was dieng to talk to him but I was not getting how to face him..then after 2-3 days I messaged him, I said sorry to him & I asked him to give me one more chance….& he agreed…. :) now I truely love him… I dont want to lose him again…. I want to spend mah whole life with him.. I have found mah Prince charming..& I can bet no one else can love me as much as he loves me.. That day I promised to myself that I will not break his trust again, I will not hurt him again. One thing I came to know that day that if your love is true then you can create love on others heart…. Tarang is a true lover!!! But now when mah love is growing stronger & stronger for him, he had hurt me today. He said He cant trust me again. But I will not stop loving him or I will not leave him… Now I will try to make mah place in his heart…. I am sure one or the other he will surely tell me that he trusts me like before. I will love him till mah heartbeats stops… I LOVE YOU TARANG!!!

  17. @JLM: Your situation is exactly like mine. When I read ur post, it seemed like I am reading my own story.. I am unable to forget my ex. And because we stay in the same city, I see him often on the weekends hanging around with friends at a nearby cafe. The sight of him makes me more sad. The thing that hurts me most is that he left me abruptly, he gave an excuse that his parents doesn’t want us to be together as he is 19 and I am 23.. He never called me or tried to contact me after that which makes me even more sad. If he actually really loved me how could he get over me so soon n so easily? Just want to eliminate him from my heart but its taking a lot of time and I am suffering each day.. I miss him badlyyyyy.. :( Any suggestions?

  18. Great post… I especially agree with the point you made about remembering WHY you broke up in the first place. The grass is always greener on the other side and after a break up, you tend to look at the relationship through rose colored glasses. It was not all good and lovely. Remember those things that were less then great so that you can move on easier.

  19. My sister has an ex boyfriend she hasn’t seen for 4 years. He is the daughter of my neice and my sister cut off all contact from him. For her own selfish reasons. Anyways this man, is my friend, he has been my friend since i was 11, and still is as I am 26, he is also a good friend of my boyfriends. Since it was my boyfriends birthday yesterday our friend decided to visit us, which was very nice, the next day my sister came over and said “I heard he was here! I’m sorry but i can never come here again! That was it. I could never rely on her anyways, and as far as I’m concerned i have no sister now. It will be tough but i will manage.

  20. I am sorry…I feel your pain. My heart is torn. And I am so tired of the hurt. I broke us from bad behavior and now I am better yet there will be no mending of us….

  21. My pain is selfish when I use reality instead of emotion, but my reality has become being completely emotionally unavailable. I consider myself emotionally intelligent, I know coping skills, I realize the negative effects of anger and pain. It’s been 11 months since my break-up, everything about the relationship was bad but the LOVE was so intense, so real, so absolutely unexpected. This ended in txt TWICE…all that love & no real closure. I feel so broken down badly in the worst ways, have regrets, doubt myself,& am completely powerless to these emotions. I don’t talk about it, I don’t contact him but of course there are the people that insist on informing you of any of his bad behaviors, when this occurs I feel the need to save him or use it to bash him when he pops up in my head (of course, I keep these thoughts to myself) but the past two weeks have been awful-everything is a reminder-EVERYTHING! I dreamed about him yesterday, wow really, I never dream about people I know. Contemplating things and realizing even though I want to let go so badly, I’m powerless to the reminders…I want to be ME again, my life has changed from this, I’m not the same person I used to be. The hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with, I’ve lost loved ones and didn’t grieve this badly…I guess what I’m looking for here is reassurance that this too shall pass, but when?

  22. Just keep breathing,
    Hold your head high,
    Remember everything,
    Let none see you cry.

  23. Sounds like you’ve had a series of hard losses. All you can do now is look forward, continue in your positive path. You’ve admittedly made mistakes and take responsibility for them. You are a good person. The relationship is over but you will again find love and perhaps if you can stay in contact with your soon-to-be ex, you will demonstrate to her that you’ve changed for the better. Right now she is probably very hurt and needs time to recover. Give her a lot of space and when she is ready, she may reach out to you, provided you make positive progress in your life. Whatever you decide, please don’t revert back to your former behaviors. You’ll regret it and feel even worse. Good luck and be strong.

  24. I have experienced the pain of loss from the death of my first wife, and now going thorough a divorce from my second wife. I can tell you that the pain from this divorce is worse by far. I’ve never experienced anything like this. We were only married for 4.5 years. I had some un-resolved childhood issues that resulted in some bad behavior that hurt her. This has led me to some intense therapy and after 7 weeks I’m already seeing some breakthroughs. Don’t get me wrong, we both had issues that led to our disfunctional marriage, but I’m taking responsability for my sins. Its hard to let go of the love we had the first part of the marriage…hard to let go of what we could have been, especially now that I’m making big changes. Unfortunately, she is done with me no chance to make ammends. I’m trying to let go but feel like my life has no meaning without her. Its hard to handle that the woman I love and called “wife” is no longer mine. I think its worse losing someone and feeling remorse for my actions:(

  25. We keep forgiving the person we love for we are afraid to lose that person and the things we built together… :(

  26. …Well, let’s see if this helps me :(
    I started to date this guy at 17. We where both 17.. It lasted just over 2 yrs solid then we where on and off for the next year and a half. I love him. He’s intelligent, attractive, fit.we had a lot of great times together.. But he had a side that was mean, unthoughtful, inconsiderate, and hurtful. This is why we where on and off for the last year and a half.. He made bad choices and his friends where right in there with him.. I hated his friends and they didn’t like me. Which never helps. I was stuck. In love. Hurt and confused.. So I packed up and moved out of the province with little notice.. When I arrived in Alberta it was hard because I missed him so much.. Still do! But soon enough I found myself emailing him and we exchanged phone numbers and we where talking again.. He says he misses me and loves me and he’s sorry for not realizing sooner what he had and for not treating me the way I deserved. And that he had a court date coming up and was looking at doing some time (I didn’t ask why) .. Than that was it.. His number was gone and I couldn’t get a hold of him.. I assume he’s in. My heart broke again.. I miss him so much I have been passing up dates and been alone.. My boss gives me shit that I need to move on and love again.. But I always say I can’t I love him and I’m confused.. Do I wait? Or move on? Aahhh it just hurts so much.. He’s my first love. High school sweet heart. And I seem to not think about the reasons I left.. And that I just miss him. Then last night.. I had a dream. It was him,, I don’t know where we where is was like a dorm or something and when we saw each other we both cried and hugged and loved again we where so happy then before I knew it he was distant and kinda being a dick.. And I woke up. Its just a dream but now I’m all confused and I just don’t know what to do anymore :(

  27. I have been married for 10 years, we have 2 beautiful sons. but I find that the relationship between my husband and I is coming to an end, due to different reasons. we are seperated since june 2011 due to his work, he is living abroad for his work, but every time that he has free time, he does come to visit us. Those moments are really delightful, but when it does last long then all the arguing will begin. He is a very good dad to his kids and everything that we desire, as his family, he will do or buy for us, but one thing that he does not accept is me as his wife going out to dance without him. I love dancing and going out without any means to cheat on my hubby. I don’t go anywhere and most of the time I am taking care of the kids and all the financial aspects of the family. i don’t work and most of the time i’m really bored, but i don’t want it to be an issue for my husband, because he’s doing the best he can. i just wanted to know whether i’m being selfish or not, because it’s not like i want to go out every weekend, this was a one time incident where there was this popular band was playing.
    Another thing is normally when you forgive somebody something, you must also forget. my husband can’t let go of the past, every time that we argue about an issue, he will go back into the past and tell you things that he said by the past time that he has forgiven you.
    i do feel very helpless and would like to have some advice so that I know whether i’m being a bad wife or not.

  28. Sometimes you don’t know that you’re not in love with somebody. I loved my ex husband dearly and still do, but I was never ‘in love’ with him. I had never had a man respect me and care for me in such honest way. Without realizing it I married for safety. I was very young. I realized that something was missing but I blamed myself for not trying hard enough. I felt it was my fault I didn’t love him. I stayed for ten years. We were best friends. But when I met someone I was truly in love with it made me realized I was chiding myself for something one can not force themselves to feel. If life were only so easy that we could make ourselves love someone. It was unfair for both of us for me to stay. He should have a wife who is in love with him. As I should have a man I love. We had many things in common but there was never passion or fire between us. Many people live without that and I think that’s okay. It’s personal choice. I miss him so much. We split two years ago and I will always have a place of emptiness in my heart where he was. I don’t think I will ever recover from this. I will move on but the emptiness will always be there. I didn’t know how powerful this truth was until time has passed. I am with another now. I am in love. But my ex was such a good honest man that I will always measure my new love against him. It is unfair because every person is different. They should not be compared.

    I am rambling. This is heavy on my heart so I am glad that I can speak this in a space such as this. The feeling of guilt, grief, love and freedom are so mixed together. Our relationship was very codepenent. He basically took care of me. Which is unhealthy in all truth. I need to move on. I miss the feeling of safety and protection. I miss having a home together. But I see the faults, and they are not all mine I assure you. Letting go is like tearing off a limb. But unlike real life, it will grow back, perhaps stronger. There is so much grey area in a break up. It is not black and white. Just because you are the one that leaves does not make you the devil. Perhaps you made the jump that was needed. It hurts to leave and be left. I still cry after two years. People wonder why since I have somebody new now. What they don’t understand is that one person does not replace another. That person that you held something dear with will never leave your heart. And that’s okay. You can still move on, but for a while, usually longer than you expected , the pain will accompany you. Thank you everyone. I am very sad but also recovering. I wish all of you the best in your healing!

  29. lve been with my boyfriend for 6 years !we have a joint mortgage and live together . After about four years l fell out of love for him for different reasons!he is a good man but l dont love him but l am stil with him for various reasons eg illness lack of money etc.l met this other man through a friend.He modelled for me a couple of times for my mu course .we became quite good friends and text fb etc each other regularly .l fell inlove with him quite quickly !he is just to me the most beautiful funny sweet man ive ever met !he knew l was unhappy and urged me to leave him but never told me he wanted me .His friend told me he fancied me and when we were together l could feel we had powerful chemistry.One night l was out with friend at a gig and l bumped into him and his friends.we chatted for a while .l had been told by a mutual friend of ours that the girl he was seeing at the time was bein a bit of a pyscho so when talking to his friend most of the night at the gig l mentioned that l though she sounded a bit of a bunny boiler.When l returned home l checked my fb and discovered that he had removed me as a friend . I sent him a message and he said that he didnt like
    me talking to his friends about his pycho chic as she has problems and that it was so ‘not cool !’. l said l was very sorry but l thought l was his friend too !l was heart broken that he wasnt talking to me .A few days later l sent him an email telling him how l felt about him and that l wanted to be with him !he never replied !l ive sent him fb messages now and again over the past year and a half that we have not been talking but he never gets back to me !im so inlove with this man !l think about him every day and l try my hardest not to but then one of our mutual friends wil just mention his name and im back to square one !this is driving me crazy !!any advice !did l screw up with the bunny boiler comment ?personally l dont know why he took it so to heart as it was just a flippant comment and he didnt have feeling for her !im so lost and sad !!!

  30. I love a girl for the past 3years. I have a girl friend that loves me and want to marry me. I love another girl and the reason we are not together is because she don’t love me. I can’t get over her all what I try. The question is should I marry someone that love me and I don’t love. What I need to do to accept that the girl will never love me and I need to move on.

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