Comments on: How to be a Good Husband to Your Wife – 4 Tips From an Expert http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-be-a-good-husband-make-your-wife-happy/ Got goals? Need a push in the right direction? You've come to the right place! Thu, 24 May 2012 01:39:02 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: David http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-be-a-good-husband-make-your-wife-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-39050 David Thu, 15 Dec 2011 20:10:18 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=668#comment-39050 I believe that many men are afraid of doing what it takes to be a good husband because they fear doing all the necessary work and then not being appreciated. This is what I call being attached to outcome. We don't strive to be good husbands so that we can please our wives and get their approval. We strive to be good husbands so that at the end of the day we can say we were all the way in and were fully present for our women. Taking a half ass approach is not good for any relationship. Getting all the way in will allow us to see whether it blows up the relationship or takes it to new and exciting places. I believe that many men are afraid of doing what it takes to be a good husband because they fear doing all the necessary work and then not being appreciated. This is what I call being attached to outcome. We don’t strive to be good husbands so that we can please our wives and get their approval. We strive to be good husbands so that at the end of the day we can say we were all the way in and were fully present for our women. Taking a half ass approach is not good for any relationship. Getting all the way in will allow us to see whether it blows up the relationship or takes it to new and exciting places.

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-be-a-good-husband-make-your-wife-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-17067 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Sat, 05 Feb 2011 19:06:20 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=668#comment-17067 That's great that you have such a strong marriage, Alison! One of the best ways to be a good husband is to know what makes your wife happy...and what she doesn't really care about. And it all involves knowing your wife, which involves talking to her and understanding her. That’s great that you have such a strong marriage, Alison!

One of the best ways to be a good husband is to know what makes your wife happy…and what she doesn’t really care about. And it all involves knowing your wife, which involves talking to her and understanding her.

]]> By: Alison @ Femita http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-be-a-good-husband-make-your-wife-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-17036 Alison @ Femita Sat, 05 Feb 2011 10:51:40 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=668#comment-17036 Great article again. I agree with most of what's said,although I must say I don't really mind my husband looking at other women. Our relationship is very strong, so I don't feel threatened by this. Great article again. I agree with most of what’s said,although I must say I don’t really mind my husband looking at other women. Our relationship is very strong, so I don’t feel threatened by this.

]]> By: Wits End http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-be-a-good-husband-make-your-wife-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-12593 Wits End Sat, 16 Oct 2010 16:00:14 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=668#comment-12593 When my husband is anywhere in communication with his father he treats me horribly. He even went as far this week to buy a gun with the money that was suppose to pay for a doctor appointment to find out if I do have cervical cancer. He thinks buying stuff is great for him and I should just suffer. Though, when his dad wasnt around the few weeks before and I was in and out of the hospital he was great and there for me. We have had so many up and downs but I have ALWAYS been there for him. I work and am successful. My pay goes to our family, every penny. I do not go out and spend on myself. I still where most clothes from high school and that was over 20 years ago. I buy for him and the youngest child that still lives at home. Also for his other daughter that lives with her mother. I have supported him with everything but now he makes it so I might die from cancer and he doesnt even care. He left me home today on my only day off to go with his father, how do I live with that any longer? How do I beleive he loves ME when he chooses to purchase stuff for himself knowing that I can no longer go to a doctor because of what he did. I might have cancer and he doesnt even care for me to find out so he can make his father happy. How do I cope with this???? When my husband is anywhere in communication with his father he treats me horribly. He even went as far this week to buy a gun with the money that was suppose to pay for a doctor appointment to find out if I do have cervical cancer. He thinks buying stuff is great for him and I should just suffer. Though, when his dad wasnt around the few weeks before and I was in and out of the hospital he was great and there for me.
We have had so many up and downs but I have ALWAYS been there for him. I work and am successful. My pay goes to our family, every penny. I do not go out and spend on myself. I still where most clothes from high school and that was over 20 years ago. I buy for him and the youngest child that still lives at home. Also for his other daughter that lives with her mother.

I have supported him with everything but now he makes it so I might die from cancer and he doesnt even care. He left me home today on my only day off to go with his father, how do I live with that any longer? How do I beleive he loves ME when he chooses to purchase stuff for himself knowing that I can no longer go to a doctor because of what he did. I might have cancer and he doesnt even care for me to find out so he can make his father happy. How do I cope with this????

]]> By: Angels http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-be-a-good-husband-make-your-wife-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-11807 Angels Wed, 08 Sep 2010 13:02:19 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=668#comment-11807 i have been married to my husband for 6 years, we have been together for 8 1/2 years and have known eachother for 15 years. He seems to have a problem with always needing another woman around to talk to. As far as I can tell, there has never been more than talking, but this last girl he decided to connect with, the conversations turned sexual instead of just supportive. It makes me really uncomfortable to stay in this relationship now. He tells these other women that they are pretty and that they should be sure to have a great day because they deserve it and things like that, but hasn't told me i'm pretty in years. I don't think that he is even slightly attracted to me any more. I know for certain that he was when we got together. We have two kids together (and i have one from a previous relationship). I am upset that it has escalated to sexual stuff, and I am upset that he takes on the "supportive boyfriend" type role for these women, and leaves me to fight for even the simplist of compliments or kind words. He actually is way more likely to say something mean to me than say something nice. I am at the point now, after this new "friendship" that he took too far, that i don't want to be with him any longer. I deserve better treatment and find myself having negative thoughts about myself now. I never thought i wasn't pretty until now. We are going to try counleling, but i feel like i have already mentally checked out of this relationship. i have been married to my husband for 6 years, we have been together for 8 1/2 years and have known eachother for 15 years. He seems to have a problem with always needing another woman around to talk to. As far as I can tell, there has never been more than talking, but this last girl he decided to connect with, the conversations turned sexual instead of just supportive. It makes me really uncomfortable to stay in this relationship now. He tells these other women that they are pretty and that they should be sure to have a great day because they deserve it and things like that, but hasn’t told me i’m pretty in years. I don’t think that he is even slightly attracted to me any more. I know for certain that he was when we got together. We have two kids together (and i have one from a previous relationship). I am upset that it has escalated to sexual stuff, and I am upset that he takes on the “supportive boyfriend” type role for these women, and leaves me to fight for even the simplist of compliments or kind words. He actually is way more likely to say something mean to me than say something nice. I am at the point now, after this new “friendship” that he took too far, that i don’t want to be with him any longer. I deserve better treatment and find myself having negative thoughts about myself now. I never thought i wasn’t pretty until now. We are going to try counleling, but i feel like i have already mentally checked out of this relationship.

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-be-a-good-husband-make-your-wife-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-11437 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Fri, 06 Aug 2010 15:15:29 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=668#comment-11437 Dear Hope, I'm sorry to hear about your relationship with your husband -- it sounds like you're ready to let your marriage go! Have you talked to a counselor? I encourage you to try to sort out your emotions, thoughts, and marriage with a trained professional. There's a lot of history and baggage in marriage, and it takes an objective perspective to sift through it all and figure out the best course of action. It sounds like there's a lot of blame, accusations, and miscommunication in your marriage -- and you don't necessarily need couples counseling to make things better (though if you and your husband are willing to go into marriage counseling, I believe it can help!). And, I encourage you to focus on how you can take control over your own thoughts and behaviors. There are things you can do that will make you feel better about yourself, your marriage, and your life. Of course, this depends on your circumstances and personality...which is where the counseling comes in! I hope this helps, and wish you all the best. Blessings, Laurie Dear Hope,

I’m sorry to hear about your relationship with your husband — it sounds like you’re ready to let your marriage go!

Have you talked to a counselor? I encourage you to try to sort out your emotions, thoughts, and marriage with a trained professional. There’s a lot of history and baggage in marriage, and it takes an objective perspective to sift through it all and figure out the best course of action. It sounds like there’s a lot of blame, accusations, and miscommunication in your marriage — and you don’t necessarily need couples counseling to make things better (though if you and your husband are willing to go into marriage counseling, I believe it can help!).

And, I encourage you to focus on how you can take control over your own thoughts and behaviors. There are things you can do that will make you feel better about yourself, your marriage, and your life. Of course, this depends on your circumstances and personality…which is where the counseling comes in!

I hope this helps, and wish you all the best.

Blessings,
Laurie

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-be-a-good-husband-make-your-wife-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-11436 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Fri, 06 Aug 2010 15:07:57 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=668#comment-11436 Dear Chitra, I'm so sorry that I missed your comment! Are you still around? If so, let me know how you're doing now. Laurie Dear Chitra,

I’m so sorry that I missed your comment! Are you still around? If so, let me know how you’re doing now.

Laurie

]]> By: Hope http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-be-a-good-husband-make-your-wife-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-11407 Hope Tue, 03 Aug 2010 10:57:27 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=668#comment-11407 Hi, thanks for sharing the tips. I'm experiencing some tough time with my husband.He don’t listen to me. When I tried to have the open communication with him. He told me that I made him sad because those are the things that he doesn’t want to hear. He just want to hear good things about him. He spend more time with his business more than anything else. When I say to him that we need more time together, he would response to me that money is important to the family, if he don’t make enough money, we will not be happy together. He doesn’t give me sense of security anymore since four years ago. He had an affair four years ago. I thought I can accept the relationship, but after four years, I still can’t give myself 100% to him as far as trust is concern. I still ‘protect’ myself in a way for not letting him know what I have because he will use that to against me. For the last year, he has been scolding me whenever he feel stress. He has mentioned three times to me that I got him into a miserable marriage. Which I can honestly tell you that I did nothing wrong at all. He don’t compliment me anymore like he used to. He is just concern about himself only. Now I can see more and more selfishness, self-centered from him. Lately, I just found out two incidents that he has tarnished my image in front of his friends. One of them shared it with me. I was so sad to hear that and what makes me angry was those are not facts at all. When I want to create conversation with him, he just tell me that he is very tired. As a wife, I have done everything I could but it seems not working. He just like to blame me for no reason, he will just finger point to me whenever things don’t go according to him way. I’m just tired of this relationship. I don’t think he has make me happy at all. I really do not know what I should do to make the relatioship work. Hi, thanks for sharing the tips. I’m experiencing some tough time with my husband.He don’t listen to me. When I tried to have the open communication with him. He told me that I made him sad because those are the things that he doesn’t want to hear. He just want to hear good things about him. He spend more time with his business more than anything else. When I say to him that we need more time together, he would response to me that money is important to the family, if he don’t make enough money, we will not be happy together. He doesn’t give me sense of security anymore since four years ago. He had an affair four years ago. I thought I can accept the relationship, but after four years, I still can’t give myself 100% to him as far as trust is concern. I still ‘protect’ myself in a way for not letting him know what I have because he will use that to against me. For the last year, he has been scolding me whenever he feel stress. He has mentioned three times to me that I got him into a miserable marriage. Which I can honestly tell you that I did nothing wrong at all. He don’t compliment me anymore like he used to. He is just concern about himself only. Now I can see more and more selfishness, self-centered from him. Lately, I just found out two incidents that he has tarnished my image in front of his friends. One of them shared it with me. I was so sad to hear that and what makes me angry was those are not facts at all. When I want to create conversation with him, he just tell me that he is very tired. As a wife, I have done everything I could but it seems not working. He just like to blame me for no reason, he will just finger point to me whenever things don’t go according to him way.
I’m just tired of this relationship. I don’t think he has make me happy at all. I really do not know what I should do to make the relatioship work.

]]> By: chitra http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-be-a-good-husband-make-your-wife-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-10169 chitra Mon, 14 Jun 2010 07:31:54 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=668#comment-10169 I have been married in 1997 and lived together only for just 4months and I was conceived. My husband was having no job and he had drinks and other habits and they sent me out. For the past 11 years I was with my mother . I have a girl child studying 7th std. I applied for divorce in 2003 and it was an ex-party case and got the order in 2006. I started looking for a partner only one year ago. Now I am married to a person who is a widower and having a girl studying 11th std. the girl is with their grand mothers house and not living with him. I go remarried on July 12th. we are nearing 1st year marriage day and now i am 5month carrying. Now he is saying that he has a doubt whether i am considered as a wife by way of sasthras as i am second which i am unable to accept. And his daughter is also not co-operating. due to her also i face problems. Now no one is accepting me as a family member in his side. I do not know what to do. I am so depressed that i tried even suicide attempt. please guide me how to react in this situation. Thanking you, I have been married in 1997 and lived together only for just 4months and I was conceived. My husband was having no job and he had drinks and other habits and they sent me out. For the past 11 years I was with my mother . I have a girl child studying 7th std. I applied for divorce in 2003 and it was an ex-party case and got the order in 2006. I started looking for a partner only one year ago. Now I am married to a person who is a widower and having a girl studying 11th std. the girl is with their grand mothers house and not living with him. I go remarried on July 12th. we are nearing 1st year marriage day and now i am 5month carrying. Now he is saying that he has a doubt whether i am considered as a wife by way of sasthras as i am second which i am unable to accept. And his daughter is also not co-operating. due to her also i face problems. Now no one is accepting me as a family member in his side. I do not know what to do. I am so depressed that i tried even suicide attempt. please guide me how to react in this situation.

Thanking you,

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-be-a-good-husband-make-your-wife-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-10086 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:09:43 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=668#comment-10086 Hi Rocky, Have you and your wife tried marriage counseling? Sometimes an objective perspective can make all the difference in the world. Our thoughts about what we did and didn't keeps going round and round, which makes it almost impossible to see our relationships clearly! I don't know the answer to your question (about if a good wife can stray after a short period of inattention). But that may matter less than her remorse and willingness to rebuild a happy marriage with you. Mort Fertel is a marriage counselor who believes that spouses who cheat are less likely to cheat again, because they know how bad it is for the relationship. So, to be a good husband and rebuild your marriage, you may need to stop thinking about your wife with another man, and start focusing on your present and future together. I hope this helps, and wish you all the best. Let me know how you're doing! Blessings, Laurie Hi Rocky,

Have you and your wife tried marriage counseling? Sometimes an objective perspective can make all the difference in the world. Our thoughts about what we did and didn’t keeps going round and round, which makes it almost impossible to see our relationships clearly!

I don’t know the answer to your question (about if a good wife can stray after a short period of inattention). But that may matter less than her remorse and willingness to rebuild a happy marriage with you.

Mort Fertel is a marriage counselor who believes that spouses who cheat are less likely to cheat again, because they know how bad it is for the relationship. So, to be a good husband and rebuild your marriage, you may need to stop thinking about your wife with another man, and start focusing on your present and future together.

I hope this helps, and wish you all the best. Let me know how you’re doing!

Blessings,
Laurie

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