Comments on: How to Affair Proof Your Marriage – The Truth About Cheating http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-affair-proof-your-marriage-truth-about-cheating/ Got goals? Need a push in the right direction? You've come to the right place! Thu, 24 May 2012 01:39:02 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-affair-proof-your-marriage-truth-about-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-27157 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Tue, 27 Sep 2011 23:07:55 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=747#comment-27157 Thanks for your thoughts. I think the best tip for "affair proofing your marriage" is simply loving your spouse from the bottom of your heart, and treating him or her with respect, kindness, love, and generosity. It's not about making sure your spouse doesn't cheat...it's about building a healthy, happy marriage. Which takes work. Thanks for your thoughts. I think the best tip for “affair proofing your marriage” is simply loving your spouse from the bottom of your heart, and treating him or her with respect, kindness, love, and generosity.

It’s not about making sure your spouse doesn’t cheat…it’s about building a healthy, happy marriage. Which takes work.

]]> By: I'm_just_me http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-affair-proof-your-marriage-truth-about-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-26849 I'm_just_me Fri, 23 Sep 2011 22:03:02 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=747#comment-26849 I am a guy so I hope you don't mind me posting on here but I think it is up to both people to work on their relationship and treat each other with compassion, understanding and kindness. Guys do as much as you can to help out around the house (that means doing at least half the housework and child care) and none of the I'm so tired I have been working all day b*****t, looking after children is a full time job that is even more stressful than what you do at work. I also think that guys should look after their child(ren) for at least a couple of hours a week so that their wife/gf can go out with her friends or have a bit of time to herself. If you are looking after the children at home take a look around is there laundry that need to be done? Put it in the washing machine so it can wash while you are playing/painting/baking/doing homework with your kid(s), dishes in the sink that need washing then wash them and try and take it in turns cooking dinner, or cook it together, although if the kid(s) need dinner before you get home then you cook at the weekend. I also don't understand how guys can be attracted to someone else when they are in a relationship/marriage I means seriously commitment, love, history, knowing that you will get to share the rest of your life with one person is so hot! Does a random stranger come anywhere close to the intimacy, history, emotions and memories that you share with your partener? H**l no, not a chance and if your still tempted (how could you be when the person you are with will always be so much better) make sure you are never alone and never let them have a way of contacting you outside of work, if you are at a bar and someone is flirting with you tell them you are in a relationship and if they don't listen leave. Seriously its not rocket science and I can't belive I wrote this as it seems SO obvious -Aaron I am a guy so I hope you don’t mind me posting on here but I think it is up to both people to work on their relationship and treat each other with compassion, understanding and kindness. Guys do as much as you can to help out around the house (that means doing at least half the housework and child care) and none of the I’m so tired I have been working all day b*****t, looking after children is a full time job that is even more stressful than what you do at work. I also think that guys should look after their child(ren) for at least a couple of hours a week so that their wife/gf can go out with her friends or have a bit of time to herself. If you are looking after the children at home take a look around is there laundry that need to be done? Put it in the washing machine so it can wash while you are playing/painting/baking/doing homework with your kid(s), dishes in the sink that need washing then wash them and try and take it in turns cooking dinner, or cook it together, although if the kid(s) need dinner before you get home then you cook at the weekend. I also don’t understand how guys can be attracted to someone else when they are in a relationship/marriage I means seriously commitment, love, history, knowing that you will get to share the rest of your life with one person is so hot! Does a random stranger come anywhere close to the intimacy, history, emotions and memories that you share with your partener? H**l no, not a chance and if your still tempted (how could you be when the person you are with will always be so much better) make sure you are never alone and never let them have a way of contacting you outside of work, if you are at a bar and someone is flirting with you tell them you are in a relationship and if they don’t listen leave. Seriously its not rocket science and I can’t belive I wrote this as it seems SO obvious -Aaron

]]> By: cynicgal http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-affair-proof-your-marriage-truth-about-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-22666 cynicgal Wed, 13 Jul 2011 18:01:44 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=747#comment-22666 @Laurie no, all men don't cheat, but most men do and they all think about it. @Laurie no, all men don’t cheat, but most men do and they all think about it.

]]> By: cynicgal http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-affair-proof-your-marriage-truth-about-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-22665 cynicgal Wed, 13 Jul 2011 18:00:26 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=747#comment-22665 It's up to the wife because men are weak and ruled by their other "head." In fact, when it comes to other women they will do everything they can get away with. All men desire to sleep with multiple women, even when they claim to be in love with you. This is what they are wired for. At some point they grow tired of being with you unless you're a supreme game-player who can keep his interest peaked. Even still the urge to look at, be in proximity to and enjoy other women never leaves him. If he is an alpha male he can fulfill these needs in a more straight forward manner. If not there is pornography, soft-pornography of men's magazines and other media, random women on the street he may gawk at Hooters and strip clubs or platonic friendships with women he works with or attends school with. He will choose these "platonic" friendships based on his sexual attraction to these women. You will have to police this behavior to ensure it doesn't escalate to addiction or emotional or physical affairs because he won't. He may think he loves you and doesn't want to lose you, but its difficult to control and part of him doesn't really want to. That's why as a woman you need to be on guard about the other women your man is in contact with. If he's weird about other women you may have a problem. It’s up to the wife because men are weak and ruled by their other “head.” In fact, when it comes to other women they will do everything they can get away with. All men desire to sleep with multiple women, even when they claim to be in love with you. This is what they are wired for. At some point they grow tired of being with you unless you’re a supreme game-player who can keep his interest peaked. Even still the urge to look at, be in proximity to and enjoy other women never leaves him. If he is an alpha male he can fulfill these needs in a more straight forward manner. If not there is pornography, soft-pornography of men’s magazines and other media, random women on the street he may gawk at Hooters and strip clubs or platonic friendships with women he works with or attends school with. He will choose these “platonic” friendships based on his sexual attraction to these women. You will have to police this behavior to ensure it doesn’t escalate to addiction or emotional or physical affairs because he won’t. He may think he loves you and doesn’t want to lose you, but its difficult to control and part of him doesn’t really want to. That’s why as a woman you need to be on guard about the other women your man is in contact with. If he’s weird about other women you may have a problem.

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-affair-proof-your-marriage-truth-about-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-21651 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Tue, 07 Jun 2011 15:00:36 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=747#comment-21651 Thanks for your perspective, cynicgal! Have you been burned by men in the past? It sounds like you know alot of men who have treated women badly...certainly, not all men cheat on their wives. Thanks for your perspective, cynicgal!

Have you been burned by men in the past? It sounds like you know alot of men who have treated women badly…certainly, not all men cheat on their wives.

]]> By: cynicgal http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-affair-proof-your-marriage-truth-about-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-21589 cynicgal Mon, 06 Jun 2011 15:56:58 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=747#comment-21589 Ladies, it’s time to face the terrible truth about men. They are selfish and they are not wired to love you as a real human being. At best you’re a c*m bucket to him and a maid. Men have two needs from women: sex and stroking his puny little ego. Think about this. If a man truly loved you would he perv on other women in front of you? (One of the number one complaints about men from women is that he is constantly jerking his neck in the direction of another woman). Would he become disinterested in you the minute you get your first wrinkle, gain a few pounds, or give birth to his child? Men are not wired to love us. They are wired to impregnate us and move on. That’s why as time goes by, he automatically begins to lose interest in you and his eyes start wandering to other women, younger more fertile women. Sure, in the beginning he may pull out the stops with love and affection, but just long enough for him to fulfill his biological imperative. This is also why men who are rich and powerful cheat on their wives more often. Because they can. They will risk everything to fulfill his natural imperative to reproduce with as many young, fertile women as he can get his hands on. Men are as faithful as their options. All men want to be with as many chicks as possible. And if you are just average he gets his needs for girls through p*****raphy, clubs, staring down girls on the street and any media which is constantly introducing young, beautiful women. The only ways you could possibly hope to keep a man truly faithful is to keep him away from close proximity with other women and the media or to remain young and beautiful forever with the ability to morph into a different woman every night. Even if a man has no issues with you, you show him love affection and ply him with constant affection he may still cheat on you. If he works with young things, or he has lots of power and money that brings him into proximity with girls who like his power, you can just give up the notion of faithfulness. An open marriage may be the best thing for you or better yet simply stay single. Either way, you will never be loved, only exploited. Men get tired of you real quick because they are wired for polygamy. It is a mystery to me why women think they can get emotional intimacy from men. They don’t even want to listen to your problems half the time, and think women’s concerns are trivial. Rely on your women friends for emotional support and friendship. It is not possible with men. I know some of you ladies may think but I have guy friends. The only way you could have a guy friend is if he is gay and has no s**ual interest in you whatsoever. Otherwise you have a guy friend who is hanging around you with an option to get you in bed at some later date. In fact he targeted you for “friendship” because he thought you were cute to begin with. Look it up. I’m not making this sh* up. The only man who truly loves you is your father, and he could be jiving too. Ladies, it’s time to face the terrible truth about men. They are selfish and they are not wired to love you as a real human being. At best you’re a c*m bucket to him and a maid. Men have two needs from women: sex and stroking his puny little ego. Think about this. If a man truly loved you would he perv on other women in front of you? (One of the number one complaints about men from women is that he is constantly jerking his neck in the direction of another woman). Would he become disinterested in you the minute you get your first wrinkle, gain a few pounds, or give birth to his child? Men are not wired to love us. They are wired to impregnate us and move on. That’s why as time goes by, he automatically begins to lose interest in you and his eyes start wandering to other women, younger more fertile women. Sure, in the beginning he may pull out the stops with love and affection, but just long enough for him to fulfill his biological imperative. This is also why men who are rich and powerful cheat on their wives more often. Because they can. They will risk everything to fulfill his natural imperative to reproduce with as many young, fertile women as he can get his hands on.

Men are as faithful as their options. All men want to be with as many chicks as possible. And if you are just average he gets his needs for girls through p*****raphy, clubs, staring down girls on the street and any media which is constantly introducing young, beautiful women. The only ways you could possibly hope to keep a man truly faithful is to keep him away from close proximity with other women and the media or to remain young and beautiful forever with the ability to morph into a different woman every night.

Even if a man has no issues with you, you show him love affection and ply him with constant affection he may still cheat on you. If he works with young things, or he has lots of power and money that brings him into proximity with girls who like his power, you can just give up the notion of faithfulness. An open marriage may be the best thing for you or better yet simply stay single. Either way, you will never be loved, only exploited. Men get tired of you real quick because they are wired for polygamy.

It is a mystery to me why women think they can get emotional intimacy from men. They don’t even want to listen to your problems half the time, and think women’s concerns are trivial. Rely on your women friends for emotional support and friendship. It is not possible with men. I know some of you ladies may think but I have guy friends. The only way you could have a guy friend is if he is gay and has no s**ual interest in you whatsoever. Otherwise you have a guy friend who is hanging around you with an option to get you in bed at some later date. In fact he targeted you for “friendship” because he thought you were cute to begin with. Look it up. I’m not making this sh* up.

The only man who truly loves you is your father, and he could be jiving too.

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-affair-proof-your-marriage-truth-about-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-11622 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Fri, 27 Aug 2010 16:11:08 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=747#comment-11622 I agree -- it shouldn't be up to the wife to affair proof the marriage. But, I do think wives have a lot of control in the marriage. Sometimes it's the wife who sets the tone and directs the marriage. If she has more power in the marriage than the husband does (and I think many wives do), then she has more control in affair proofing the marriage. I agree — it shouldn’t be up to the wife to affair proof the marriage. But, I do think wives have a lot of control in the marriage. Sometimes it’s the wife who sets the tone and directs the marriage. If she has more power in the marriage than the husband does (and I think many wives do), then she has more control in affair proofing the marriage.

]]> By: Lela http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-affair-proof-your-marriage-truth-about-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-11606 Lela Thu, 26 Aug 2010 06:04:55 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=747#comment-11606 Yes, why is it up to the woman to affair proof her marriage? My ex left me for someone totally revolting and unintelligent. That relationship did not last long and I ended up taking him back. What a mistake that was. All he does is talk about her and believe me she is a total loser. I might have understood if he left me for someone better, but way worse. What gives. If you have to spend all your time making sure he's happy then what is he doing for you? Yes, why is it up to the woman to affair proof her marriage? My ex left me for someone totally revolting and unintelligent. That relationship did not last long and I ended up taking him back. What a mistake that was. All he does is talk about her and believe me she is a total loser. I might have understood if he left me for someone better, but way worse. What gives. If you have to spend all your time making sure he’s happy then what is he doing for you?

]]> By: Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-affair-proof-your-marriage-truth-about-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-9090 Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen Thu, 04 Mar 2010 03:36:46 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=747#comment-9090 Hi Berry, Thanks for your perspective on affairs and open marriages! I don't know if the wives reading this are upset, but I for one appreciate your advice. I think it's important to realize that many men really are like children, and many do need constant attention...and if they don't get enough affection and love at home, they will get it elsewhere. I'm curious about your open marriage, though. What are the benefits of marriage if you're intimate with other people? Wouldn't it be easier to just be single? I appreciate your thoughts! Laurie Hi Berry,

Thanks for your perspective on affairs and open marriages! I don’t know if the wives reading this are upset, but I for one appreciate your advice. I think it’s important to realize that many men really are like children, and many do need constant attention…and if they don’t get enough affection and love at home, they will get it elsewhere.

I’m curious about your open marriage, though. What are the benefits of marriage if you’re intimate with other people? Wouldn’t it be easier to just be single?

I appreciate your thoughts!

Laurie

]]> By: Berry http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/how-to-affair-proof-your-marriage-truth-about-cheating/comment-page-1/#comment-9047 Berry Mon, 01 Mar 2010 06:44:25 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=747#comment-9047 For the record, I see other people because my husband and I have an open marriage. For the record, I see other people because my husband and I have an open marriage.

]]>