How to Cope With Guilt After Your Cat or Dog Dies
Many Pet Owners Feel Guilty About Their Pet's Death
How do you stop feeling guilty after your dog or cat dies? Pet loss guilt is experienced by many pet lovers, even if they didn’t do anything wrong.
Why do we feel so guilty after our pets die?
“Dogs have given us their absolute all,” said Roger Caras. “We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.”
Isn’t that a beautiful quotation about dogs? And it applies to cats, too — not the “serve” part, but the love and affection.
If you’re struggling with grief and guilt because of the circumstances surrounding your dog or cat’s death, read Letting Go of an Animal You Love: 75 Ways to Survive Pet Loss. I interviewed veterinarians, grief counselors, and pet experts for the best ways to survive the death of a beloved dog or cat, and I included stories from real pet owners who coped with guilt and grief in sometimes surprising ways.
How to Cope With Guilt After Your Cat or Dog Dies
One way to cope with guilty feelings after the death of your dog or cat is to accept that you made the best decision for your pet at the time. If you put your cat or dog to sleep, you made the best decision you could. Maybe you didn’t try every pet medication, alternative therapy, or special food that you could find – but you did the best you could. Take a deep breath, accept that you did the best you could, and let go of your guilt that your cat or dog died. You did the best you could.
Stop replaying the “if only” scenarios
“If I only I would’ve known my pet was sick, I would have acted differently…” We can only see clearly when we look back on what’s happened – because hindsight is 20/20, my friend. There is no value in replaying the “if only” scenarios…unless you replay them with a happier ending! Instead of looking back at the “if onlys”, focus on saying good-bye to your dog or cat — perhaps with a pet memorial.
Remember that you don’t know what would have happened
If you’re dealing with guilty feelings because of pet loss, you may think, “If only I would have recognized that he was sick earlier, I could have saved him.” The problem with this type of thinking is that you don’t know what really would have happened! Maybe it’d be a happily ever after ending – and maybe your pet would have died anyway. When we engage in the “if only” scenario, we deceive ourselves into thinking we could have saved our pet from death.
Know that you’re not alone – many pet owners feel guilty
Your feelings of anger, grief, and guilt over your pet’s death are felt by many people who lost their dogs or cats. We’re all mourning together, my friends…and our pets are watching and loving us from wherever they are. Make them proud and happy; there’s no room for sadness or guilt where they are.
If you’re struggling with grief and guilty feelings because of the circumstances surrounding your dog or cat’s death, read Letting Go of an Animal You Love: 75 Ways to Survive Pet Loss. I interviewed veterinarians, grief counselors, and pet experts for the best ways to survive the death of a beloved dog or cat, and I included stories from real pet owners who coped with guilt and grief in sometimes surprising ways.
If you have any thoughts on these ways to cope with guilty feelings after your dog or cat dies, please comment below…
Category: Cats and Kitty Tips, Dogs & Doggy Care Tips, Grief & Recovery Tips, Pet Care Tips
My cat, Betsy, died today. I still can’t believe it. On Monday, I took her to the vet for some antibiotics. I found out she had an infection and I thought she’d be fine. Two days later, when the shot kicked in, she looked better when I left for school (I had an all-day at school). Last night, I laid her on my bed to make sure she was warm (the vent was right over my legs). This morning, I looked over and didn’t see her move. I thought maybe she was sleeping, but when I picked her up… she was light. I freaked and called the vet… and she told me that she didn’t make it.
I felt myself screaming as loud as I could, hoping that maybe… just maybe, Betsy would wake up. And she didn’t. I thought maybe if I had stayed home from school that ONE day, she would have been fine. I’m still crying like crazy, I’m not even sure if I should leave the house or not, I’m so upset.
its been 13 years now. My brothers cat dissapeared for like two weeks. We searched n searched al over but nothing. Then he came back out of nowhere. He was stinky, and so very weak, and it hadnt had any food in a while. He just fell down n started making soft moaning noises. I could tel he was in pain n dehydrated. We phoned the spca to come pick him up. I picked him up gently n placed him on the bed, i sat next to him, i stayed n waited, i left the room for about 10 seconds but it was too late. He was dead. I cant forgive myself. If only i stayed he wouldnt have died alone. I cant take that image out of my head. I feel its my fault.
My cat died when he was only 1 year old. He deserved to live longer, and I am still grieving for him. He was the sweetest little BIG Siamese ever and no cat will ever replace him!
Thank you for sharing your experiences with guilty feelings after your pet died. Pet loss guilt is so consuming…I have a dog, and feel guilty when I give her heck for being bad! I dread the day that I’ll lose her, but try to focus on the love and fun we have now.
Wishing you all sympathy and blessings,
Laurie
My cat died 3 weeks ago, and I’m still devastated. He was 7 years old and very healthy, he should have lived at least another decade but now he’s gone. It was a tragic accident, mostly due to incredibly bad luck, but I can’t stop crying, and feeling guilty.
I’m struggling with feelings of guilt and grief because of how tragically he died. I was on my balcony, with my feet up on a little patio table. But this table was a death trap waiting to happen. The inside of the base was hollow, which I forgot, and when my leg tilted the table onto its edge, my cat must have crawled under and inside (he was always very curious). I even felt him brush past me when he went under the table, but since I forgot that it was hollow I didn’t realize he was still inside it when I left the balcony. He was stuck inside a very tight space, and it was nearly 10 hours before I realized he was missing. When I lifted the table, I found his dead body. It was such a traumatic shock. He was healthy and so alive just earlier that day, and suddenly he was gone.
I can’t stop thinking about all the “what if’s”. Why did I have such a stupid, dangerous hollow table? Why did I put my feet up on it, tilting it on its edge? Why didn’t I realize he was stuck inside it? Why didn’t I realize he was missing earlier? Why didn’t I hear him struggling to get out? And how much did he suffer? (His muzzle had some blood on it, from trying to bite through the wood). All I can hope is that he passed out fairly quickly, when he was running out of air, and did not suffer too much… but I’ll never know.
Everyone that knew him agreed he was the coolest cat they’d ever met (extremely intelligent, affectionate, gentle, and well behaved). He was with me through some of the hardest times in my life, and he cuddled with me every night. He gave me so much love and companionship. I want to remember the good times, not dwell on the tragedy of his death, but it’s hard. I know it wasn’t technically my fault, but sometimes I think it was. He was such an important part of my life, I’d hoped he’d live another ten years, and I miss his presence SO MUCH. I’ve adopted another kitten to keep my other cat company, and they seem to be getting along… but it’s not the same. The cat who died was my favourite, and the first animal I ever adopted on my own.
Dear All,
So glad to have found this site for sharing in guilt as related to pet loss. One week ago (day after Hurricane Irene) I received a knock at my front door from a young couple that lived a few blocks away. They said my cat was “hit” and that “she’s on your deck.” They were callous, did not offer their names or any detail on how the incident happened. They left without further adieu. It was broad daylight on a quiet suburban road around 4pm.
After being lucky with little to no storm damage, I saw my 1 1/2 year old cat “Kaia” alive but broken and in shock. Since it was Sunday, all the town vets were closed and my regular animal emergency hospital was flooded and therefore closed. I finally located one that was open 30 minutes away with my friend’s assistance. We got her there alive and they confirmed she had a broken pelvis, but would probably make it. The attending vet sent me home with pain medicine and said I should take Kaia to the vet first thing in the morning. I obliged.
Kaia died that evening in my daughter’s arms.
I am struggling daily with guilt over this. First, Kaia was a rescue, most likely feral. She was gorgeous and beloved by the neighbors. My buddy. A spiritual connection we had. Kaia lived and loved to be outside. She was a classic indoor/outdoor cat who mostly stayed on or near her property. She always came when she was called, no issues. I feel badly that I let her out, despite her nature. I also feel guilty that I took her home from the Animal Hospital in such fragile condition. Maybe she would have had a chance for recovery and I would have spared my 14 year old daughter watching her beloved cat die, screaming in pain (even with pain medicine). It was a wrenching sound that tore right through us.
The last few days, hours, or moments of your dog or cat’s death are miniscule in comparison to the years of love, life, and experiences you shared together! It’s awful when our pets’ lives end in pain or tragedy…but I think it’s important to focus on the Big Picture, especially if you feel guilty about how your pet died.
I think our dogs and cats remember the most important part of their lives: how much we loved and cherished them. They won’t take the last painful parts of their lives with them…they’ll take our love, compassion, and devotion.
Blessings,
Laurie
Last Tuesday, August 23, 2011, my beloved 16 years old, Corgi/German shepperd mix had put down to sleep. I have never thought I would be in this terrible pain and guilt. I can’t stop crying. I miss her so much and feel so guilty. But what I am really guilty about is that she was so in pain on her last days, esp. the last hours of her death. Th vet told me a day before she died that she had a very bad back and her bladder was full and that I needed to press her stomach to get the urine out to relieve her because the bladder was not functioning well. So I did and every time I pushed her stomach she would scream and I continued to do it hoping to make her feel better. The condition worsen the next day and she was panting hard and crying. I decided to take her to the vet again only to find out that she did not have a bladder issue it was a tumor in her stomach and is a size of a basketball. I was so devastated and Sunshine was non-stop crying in the room where they performed a scan. I requested the nurse to bring Sunshine to me and she did but Sunshine was already sedated and half asleep. i could not even say goodbye to her when she’s fully awake. My family and friends said their goodbyes to her but she was so drugged up. I hope she recognnized us. She was in my arms until her heart stopped. Now the house is so quite and empty and I am so mad of my husband and myself for not giving Sunshine our best especially during her last days. But most of all I am angry at myself for keep hoping she would get better, instead she suffered from extreme pain hours before she died . Also, I am so mad with the vet guy for giving me wrong diagnoses, when he said it was the bladder when it was really a tumor. If I had known she had a tumor I could have put her down days before. Thank you for the support.
Hi all
Its so hard losing a pet… Doesn’t matter if you have been with them short or long. It just sucks. I lost my Fox Terrier Cross ” Buffy” 3 days ago. I went on late night shopping as my partner was on night shift. As i entered the back yard… Buffy bolt out to the street and As i am 7 months pregnant I couldn’t stop her. she never crosses the street and out street is a quiet street and i started calling her.. she started running towards me but a car came full speed and run over her.. i was in shock she kept screeming and she couldn’t move her back legs.. i ran to her and picked her up … I was screeming. the neighbours came out. I called the vet but it was too late.. she lifted her head twice but i was so in shock i couldn’t even say goodbye to her and comfort her… she died right infront of me and I couldn’t do anything for her… she was only 8 months old … we had her for only 3 months.. she was in Pond and we saved her.. she slept with us in out room … hang out with us inside and she was our baby… me and my partner are devastated i have never experienced something like this before… she was bleeding from her nose and mouth… I keep blaming myself for what happened to her. wish i could go back and change things… the house is so empty … i see her at each corner of the house… we burried her on our front yard so she can be with us… I so wanted her to meet our baby but her life was short… I thought she will be with me for long… I miss her so bad… I hope she forgives me… and I hope i see her again on the otherside… u are always with me Buffy… love ya
Thank you for sharing your memories of your beloved pets. You are not alone if you feel guilty because of how your dog or cat died. I think most pet owners do, even if they didn’t do anything to cause their pet’s death.
Keep your pet’s memory alive by sharing your stories as often as you can. It’ll help you heal and cope with your feelings of loss.
Blessings,
Laurie
Hi,
I just had to put my 8 year old border collie down. i was away for school for 3 months and my fiance was looking after him. i was home for 4 days when he started to act weird and not be himself. I took him to the vet and he had cancer on his spleen that ruptured and caused it to bleed into his stomach. He was my best friend and i had the worst feeling of guilt for a couple days. I’m going to miss him so much, and all the things that he did for me was just amazing. The trust that he had in me and the never stop attitude he had when we went for runs or played catch. this site was very helpful. thank you. RIP Czar (Feb 1, 2003-Aug 4, 2011)
Just lost my 15 yr old Lhasa, this is my third Lhasa and 4th dog, 1st was a Bassett, Rags died at 10 yrs , I blamed myself, and it took 3 yrs before I could accept another dog in my life. Chin Lee was a beautiful female Lhasa Apso, and after 2yrs she had 7 pups which we delivered and kept 2 males,Winston died at 7, Chin lee died at 10 and Jet died recently at 15yrs old. It is real hard on both my wife and I, but I am 100 % positive we covered every avenue to save him, and in the end when the decision was made, we decided not address our heartstrings, but address Jet’s needs and let him pass in peace. We both cry alot, got his ashes back at the end of the week and walk him around the house and place him on the foot of the bed where he liked to sleep. It is hard, and we will never get over his loss, but he will always remain in our hearts as will all of the others before him.
Last Night 7/13/2011 I lost a best friend a wonderful listener. My Jack Russell Taz Also Know to me as “Poochie Baby” He held on all day while i was at work he wanted to spend his last hours with me… He died in my arms when I was rushing him to the vet… He threw up on me and then crawled up to my chest and looked at me one last time and went limp…. I never cryed so hard in my life… I loved that dog with all my heart…. He was always there when I came home from work after having a bad day none of that even mattered when I saw those big brown eyes greeting me at the door. When I was sick I will miss him coming to check on me not wanting to leave my bedside until he knew I was okay… All the good times with the family Like once we had a cook out and you know how it’s all dog’s dream to have that steak right off the grill well let’s just say Taz got that dream…. My little cuz left his steak on the table and Taz jumped up and got the steak and well let’s just say he did not need dinner that night lol…. Taz loved the snow once I remember tying to get shovel the side walk and he was all in the way running up and down the side walk… We also have a cat too once the cat thought it was a great idea to take a nap in Taz’s bed and Taz did not think so. Taz watched him for a little while and then started jumping up and down and hitting the side of the bed with his paw like saying “hey get up this is my bed you are sleeping in” it was so funny. Here I go cryin again. Just thinking about the happy times makes me cry because I realized just how much apart of my life he was and Poochie Baby you will be missed… I love you R.I.P.
Hi, i just lost my 2 years old dog, Molly. i’ve lost my closest dog before and twiggy was the first dog that made me feel i could love any dogs again. last night i had figure it out that something wrong with her pregnancy. she kept lying in the yard so we took her inside with a sheet. i cried and i cried but i didnt call the vet because of our family condition. i just only pray hope that would be a miracle for her. she looked me with suffering to see me cried. i can see a tears in her eyes. suddenly she woke up and walked through the back fence. i though that she already got strange and able to labor. since it was late i just let her go. but my heart was not calm at all. i can sleep. the next morning i looked for her. i found a death fetus on bushes, my heart thumb..i found her inside bushes with her stomach still big. the babies could’nt came out. just about 30 minutes after, she died… leave in the big grief and guilty. the guilty that i can bare. this is totally my fault and i don’t how to deal with..i was very closed to her, how can i recognized that something was happened to her. i keep saying sorry but i don’t know that she can hear me or not. i keep pretending that she’s still around. lying in the some her favorite spots inside the house. on the the corner of my room or the spot in my bed where she used to lie.. i even open the door ask her to inside before i go to sleep…gosh i miss her so bad..i know and i relized that this is God will and if He wanted Molly alive, and she would be.. but still the pain and the guilt is weighing me so much..
I JUST LOST MY BEST FRIEND “STAR” THE COOLEST DOG I’VE EVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF KNOWING…FROM DAY ONE WE JUST CONNECTED & I SWEAR SHE NEW ME MORE THAN MY FRIENDS. THE RESPECT FACTOR WAS SO AMAZING IN HER, WHEN FRIENDS WERE OVER SHE KNEW WHEN TO COME AROUND OR STAY AWAY. WHEN I WOULD EAT SHE WOULD NOT BEG OR STARE. GIVING HER BATHS WAS A JOY CAUSE SHE LOVED IT. SHE SOMEHOW KNEW THAT AFTER A BATH SHE COULD JUMP ON THE BED OR ANYWHERE CAUSE SHE WAS CLEAN…OF COURSE HER SLEEPING IN MY BED WAS FUNNY AT TIMES, BEING THAT SHE HOGGED THE WHOLE BED, I WOULD WAKE UP ALMOST FALLING OFF THE EDGE AS SHE SPRAWLED RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE JUST SLEEPING AWAY…THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO MENTION IT BRING ME TO TEARS THE LAST WEEK SHE WAS ALIVE I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG SO I STAYED UP MONITORING HER WELL ON JULY 4TH, 2011 MY “SKOOKIE” JUMPED ON MY BED PUT HER FACE IN MY CHEST, I HUGGED HER I ASK IF SHE NEEDED TO GO OUTSIDE TO WEE WEE SHE FACED THE DOOR AS TO SAY YES… I WENT OUT WITH HER SHE USED IT BUT WALKED AROUND HER DOGHOUSE & WOULDN’T COME BACK INSIDE, SO I CALLED HER TO COME IN & SHE WALKED TOWARD THE GATE,NEVER LOOKED BACK AT ME.. SHE RAISED HER HEAD UP LIKE SHE WAS STRETCHING & BEGAN LOSING HER BACK LEGS, STOPPED & COLLAPSED I RAN OVER TO HER CRYING HER NAME JUST TO CATCH HER LAST BREATH…THE LOOK IN HER EYES I WILL NEVER GET OUT OF MY MIND & I CANT STOP CRYING ITS SO HARD MY SKOOKIE IS GONE
Dear hoai an,
Thank you for sharing about your cat, and I’m so sorry to hear that she died. It’s amazing how quickly we fall in love with our animals, isn’t it?
You had a wonderful year with her, and you gave her the love and affection she desperately needed. I hope you can remember her with love, peace, and happiness — no guilt or regret. It’ll take time to mourn her because you loved her, but soon you will remember her with joy.
Will you get another cat? Here’s an article I wrote, to help pet lovers decide:
Should I Get Another Dog After My Dog Died?
It says “dogs”, but it applies to cat lovers as well.
In sympathy,
Laurie
today i lost the cat i love. i found her 1 year ago she lost an eye i guessed no one will take her so i did i cant believe she would die 1 year after. i regret i couldnt stay with her at the end. for seventeen year since i can remember i hadnt cry much but now i am crying like a baby thinking back about her good times and bad times and times we fight and looking at the scars…darn my eyes are filling up again
after reading this i still wonder where will she go maybe can i she her again in my dream or she will come back.
sr for my E im vietnamese and for this(i just lonely)
Dear Jayne,
I’m so sorry to hear about Brina…how sad, and heartbreaking. She loved you, and loved her life with you. It ended so quickly, which can make grieving even more sad when your dog dies. It’s so painful, and my heart goes out to you.
I hope you’re able to resolve your feelings of guilt. You would have stayed with her – and taken her to the veterinarian – if you’d known that she was sick! You had no idea what was to happen, so you couldn’t have done anything differently.
You didn’t do anything wrong, my friend. I totally understand how guilty you feel that she died…but it wasn’t your fault.
I hope you’re doing well, and that the intense pain of your dog’s death has eased up a bit.
In sympathy,
Laurie
My beautiful Brina a Staffy died at 2.30/3.00am on 4th June 2011. She was 13yrs old and the love of my life my companion my beloved friend.
Its agony going in the house and she’s not there to greet me and at night she’s not there to sit by my side as always. The day she died she seemed fine got up as normal down the stairs let her out back as normal I’d have my breakfast and she’d sit with me and watch for me to finish.
I would then finish getting ready for work. She always used to jump on the chair in the lounge so she could look out the window, she’d not done this for a while as she struggled with her legs. But this day I came down ready for work and there she was on the chair and looking out the window.But when I go work I had to keep her in the back room, its very big and she had a big settie to sit on and her basket if she chose to use it. When I got home form work she seemed ok I put her food out, my husband had been home most of the afternoon and said she’d been out in the garden and seemed ok. I feel so so guilty as I was rushing to get ready as had a function to go to. Normally dont go out on a friday its was normally me and her chilling and cuddling on the sette. I got home around 6ish so had to be out the house by 7 and so never had time to give her my attention as would normally. My husband returned home around 10.30ish and I got home at 11.30pm. Our friends were staying over that night . She was on the sette in back room and was breathing fast. I got her to go out to go for her wee wee but when she came back in I noticed she was wobbling on her legs once inside she flopped to the floor and wouldn’t move. My friend carried her up to our bedroom placed her on our bed. As I lay there she had her head on my arm and was close to me still breathing fast. She moved to the bottom of our bed I could hear her for a while my husband said she was just hot but if no better in the morning we’ll take her vets. But she passed away. I feel so guilty that I didn’t do more and that we never spent that evening together. Why oh why was I not there I feel guilty I can’t cope without her can’t stop crying, can’t eat, having panic attacks and can’t breath . My husband and son are at home and I no they must feel the pain as well. I just want her back I can’t bear it without her, not hearing her walking on the wooden floor or barking to be let in the back door or just sitting with me and giving me all her love and a kiss. Waiting for us to finish eating as she new we would always leave her some. She always slept on our bed in between us and not feeling her there is breaking my heart. My heart aches so much for my Brina xxxxxxx
Dear Marcy,
I’m so sorry to hear about Midnight…that’s heartbreaking. I don’t think there is a quick fix or way to get over the intense pain. I think it takes time to heal, mourn, and grieve.
It’s shocking that the veterinarian would just put him down without talking to you first. You didn’t get a chance to say good-bye or even discuss the options. That makes it more painful, I’m sure.
Please remember that you didn’t take his life away! It wasn’t your fault — you did the best you could. You went to the animal shelter as soon as you could, and you certainly didn’t make the decision to put him down.
I hope it helps to know that you aren’t responsible for his death.
My heart goes out to you, and I hope your heart heals as you move forward without Midnight.
Blessings,
Laurie
Dear Liza,
I’m so sorry to hear how your cat died. The pain and guilt you are feeling is very real and normal, and no sympathy or platitudes will help.
I think you need to just grieve your cat’s death. Maybe it’s too soon to try to start feeling better, or try to start healing. Maybe it’s time to cry, mourn, and express your feelings of grief and guilt.
Different people take different amounts of time to heal…I still feel sad and heartbroken over my cat’s death. She had a similar experience: she broke her leg, and came crawling across our lawn to me. The vet couldn’t save her leg, and I couldn’t afford to spend $1,000 on amputation surgery. So I let him put her to sleep.
I still feel absolutely awful about my cat, and that was more than 10 years ago! I just don’t think there’s any way to heal fast. Your cat will always be a part of you, will always have a piece of your life and heart.
But, your pain will become less intense…and one day you’ll remember your cat with love and fondness instead of pain and guilt.
In Letting Go of an Animal You Love, I interviewed pet loss grief experts, veterinarians, and people who were devastated after losing their pets. They share dozens of helpful, inspiring, strength-building, and sometimes surprising tips for coping with pet loss – none of which are here on Quips and Tips.
I hope it helps a bit to know you’re not alone.
In sympathy,
Laurie
Hi, I hope someone can help me here, I’m feeling so broken of my cats death. He was 11 years old at the prime of his life with no health problems and the enrgy of a kitten. He has refused to stay inside at night(would scratch and cry at the door literally all night if put inside) He was desexed but he seemed determined to sit just outside the house and guard it. You could go out any time of the night and he would crawl out from a warm spot. Two weeks ago I saw him on my back deck as usual,closed the door and went to bed.I remember hearing my dog barking sometime in the early hours but yelled at her to stop(she barks at everything so though it was the usual false alarm) I was up before 7am and nothing seemed out of place. When Butch didnt show for lunch I was worried but though he might be sleeping somewhere else. He wasnt there for dinner and I was worried but had heard so many stories of cats disappearing for a day or two so tried not to panic. When he wasnt there the next morning I went searching and calling and put flyers in letterboxes. I thought I heard a faint reply but it could have been one of my other cats(I have 4 more) I did search far and wide and wracked my brains about where he could be. This Saturday I got the phonecall I didnt want. A person living a few blocks away had found his body hanging from a broken foot(stuck between palings) He wasnt there during the week and so didnt notice earlier(mind you, this was 10 days after he went missing so he somehow didnt see him the previous weekend??) The body was starting to smell and decompose so it would seem Btuch had died pretty early. Now, I am tortured-wondering how long he had been alive,why hadnt anyone heard him? Why didnt I hear him as I stood in front of each house on the street cupping my ears and listening. My dog didnt seem to notice either. I cant find peace over this. I feel that something is just not right and I dont know how to find closure over this. I keep picturing his poor smashed up leg and hanging there so helplessly. Why didnt he not struggle or even snap that leg off to get free-like animals do in traps? I want not to feel guilty but I have a dark cloud over me all the time. I feel so horribly alone even when surrounded by my other babies or talking to my friends. How do I move forward without just sprouting happy sounding platitudes and kidding myself? Help please-anyone!
after reading these i feel a little better. I just put our family cat who was nearly 18yrs old to sleep this week due to a VERY serious leg/hip injury!!
the guilt im feeling is TERRIABLE and i miss him soo much!!! i keep thinking maybe i should have waited and seen if he was going to get better? maybe i should have done more for him.Its just i thought with his age him slowly not eating or drinking water him going from not being able to walk to JUST laying there for days living on pain meds for days was not fair to him.i thought it was the right thing to do for him! but now im greif stricken and heartbroken not to mention the feeling of quilt is awful!!!
Hello, my family of three and two labs had moved on May 1st to my sisters home. One day according to my nephew he bend down to pet my black lab midnight and suddenly midnight bit him on the cheeck slashing him and needing stitches to his face, however during the time of the drama in the house they all kept screaming to take midnight away and put him out, during this tense moment I ran to my husband and told him to take midnight away and so he did, the place closed an hour later after dropping him off but later that evening I was thinking why did we take him out so quick?? And when we called they said it was already closed until Tuesday morning. So on Tuesday morning before they opened we rushed over to the animal shelter to go get him and we got the worse news that he had been put out on Saturday before they closed. After this news I screamed and cried and feel so much guilt for putting my 7yr old closest friend to me, out. Midnight was extremely playful and friendly never bit anyone and sometimes roamed through the neighborhood even people new him very well and can’t believe midnight would attack over someone just petting him but anyways I can’t seem to forgive myself for taking his life away when he licked me for taking him to a car ride over to animal control. How do I overcome the intense pain of putting him out??
Thank you for your comments, and for sharing your stories of your beloved pets. Coping with guilty feelings or pet loss guilt really does make grieving harder…and I know our pets wouldn’t want us to feel so bad about their lives.
Blessings,
Laurie