Counseling is a great way to take control of your life and feelings — which will help you get unstuck! You don’t necessarily need to change your life situation (ie, end your marriage) — especially if you want your kids to grow up in an intact home.

Sure, a psychologist or psychiatrist can be expensive. But yes, there are free counseling options in most cities and towns! You need to do a little legwork, though.

Call your local distress line, social services organization, hospitals, women’s shelter, church, or any organization that you can find that helps people. A hospital, for instance, may not offer free counseling — but they may give you the number of someone who does. Do some digging; I suspect you’ll be surprised at the options you find!

Don’t discount books — they can be wonderful ways to grow, get support, and learn about yourself and life. Go to your local library and browse books about getting unstuck (like the books I mention in the article above). Taking time to read, write your thoughts down, and think is a great way to figure out who you are and where you want your life to go.

I hope this helps, and wish you all the best. Let me know how things go — and if you do find free counseling in your area.

Blessings,
Laurie

I want to seek a counseling but I hear its so expensive. Does anybody offer a free counseling? Thank you.

Michelle

Thank you for the article. I’m one of those “stuck” women. Been married almost 10 years and it’s been uneasy. My husband and I live like roommates. Intimacy is out of the question. Don’t want leave him because of our two small children. But I’m tired of pretending that I’m a married you know. Tired of lying.

I love to hear from you, especially if you have a different perspective! That’s how I learn

That’s a very healthy, self-accepting perspective — that our life decisions aren’t right or wrong. And, I can see how that leads to self-blame and judgment.

I think I was trying to encourage people to see WHY they made the choices they did. For instance, that particular reader was afraid of intimacy so she chose to leave her boyfriend. You’re right: that’s not a wrong decision — she was protecting herself.

I was trying to encourage an awareness into why we made the decisions we did in the past, especially ones we regret. Not just for this reader, but for everyone reading.

Thank you for saying she’s not “stuck” — I hope she read your comment and takes your advice. You summed it up very clearly and objectively, and I hope it helps her to read that.

Thanks Gini — I always love when you pop by.

Laurie

I love your articles, but feel I have to speak up here around the tip of figuring out what went ‘wrong’. I don’t see our life decisions as right and wrong – and judging our actions as ‘wrong’ can be a form of self-blame and judgment leading to guilt etc. As you said in your second tip, “Accept that you did the best you could”, makes sense as we are all making choices based on our current state of understanding, conditioning etc.

I don’t see the woman who write in as ‘stuck’. She is clear why she married the man she did, knows it isn’t a fit for her now, and needs help in making the next best decision without feeling guilty.She is in a process and this is a part of it – it takes time to make major life decisions.

Getting counselling or coaching and connecting to herself on a spiritual level are the best of your tips from my perspective. When I connect to myself on a deep soul level, I see the bigger picture (the why’s, the benefits, the costs of the choices I made) and see what needs to be done next. Over analyzing from a mental perspective or emotional perspective can get in the way of clarity.

Thanks for the opportunity to comment, Laurie!

Gini