It doesn’t matter if you want financial security, a happy marriage, or a healthy body – these steps will change your life. These tips for getting from here to there are inspired by quips from one of the most successful businesswomen in America: Mary Kay Ash, founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics.
“Don’t limit yourself,” she says. “Many women limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.”
What you think you can do — what you focus on — will become reality! You don’t need special equipment or a lot of money to succeed in life…but you do need some basic tools. Prompts. Maybe a shove in the right direction.
When was the last time you read the life story of someone who survived a hellish situation? A Stolen Life: A Memoir by Jaycee Dugard is #1 on Amazon right now – it’s a story of survival and pain, of being broken and rising rising from the ashes. Sometimes the best way to get from here to there is following in the footsteps of a survivor.
And, here are a few tips for changing your life..
10 Steps to Changing Your Life
Figure out what’s holding you back
Maybe you’re depressed because of a business failure, health issue, financial problem, or relationship breakup. Or, maybe you can’t seem to improve your self-confidence or maintain a happy, positive mood. The first step to getting from here to there is to identify what’s stopping you from moving forward.
Maybe it’s family member, friend, or coworker who is a Negative Nelly? I don’t know…but to get from here to there, you need to stop and take a look at your life.
Be objective about solutions to your problems – take a step back
Whatever your problem or obstacle is, remember that there are ways to get from here to there! Different problems have different solutions, but there are some general rules for getting unstuck. For instance, don’t focus on what you lack (eg, someone to love, or a business of your own). Instead, focus on what you want more of in your life (love, success, money, acceptance, freedom).
Be specific about what you want, and try not to get caught up in negative or critical emotions. Take a step back and look at your life objectively, from a stranger’s perspective. A smart stranger.
Look for the possibilities in your problems
In Outliers: The Story of Success, Malcolm Gladwell writes, “Sometimes constraints actually create success. Not being able to swim made me run. And running taught me the discipline I needed as a writer.”
What are you learning from the obstacles in your life? Are your problems — job stress, relationship breakups — leading you in an unexpected direction? The sooner you accept the lessons, the faster you’ll overcome your obstacles and change your life.
Work with your personal advantages
I’m a big fan of “to do” lists and I love checking off each task when I accomplish it. That’s one of my personal advantages, and I use it to make my business successful.
For instance, one of my goals is to earn $50,000 a year as a blogger. Part of achieving that goal involves writing two blog posts a day. To stay motivated to write every day, I make a list of the blog posts I need to write at the beginning of each week…and the satisfaction of checking off those “articles to write” makes me feel happy and motivated enough to do it again and again and again!
What are your strengths or personal advantages? Put them to work for you! It’ll change your life.
Ask for help moving forward in life
What do you need to do to get unstuck? Ask your family, friends, and colleagues for help. Do you need financial advice? Time? Resources? Motivation? Support? Be specific about what you need, identify who can help you, and be clear about what you’d like them to do.
Mary Kay Ash says, “Honesty is the cornerstone of all success, without which confidence and ability to perform shall cease to exist.”
Be honest about what you need. If you’re drowning in problems, debt, or bad juju at work, read How to Find the Light at the End of the Tunnel.
Surround yourself with successful people
Who do you admire? Which family member, friend, or colleague is in the position you’d like to be in? To soak up the habits of highly successful women, stay connected to women who achieved their goals — even if you don’t know them personally, even if they aren’t alive! The attitudes, values, habits, and thoughts of women who soar will rub off on you.
Stay away from people who hold you back or aren’t supportive.
Focus on one step at a time
If your number one goal is to start your own homebased business, don’t move towards a competing goal. For instance, you can’t put all your energy towards working from home while you’re planning a vacation that involves traveling around the world for a year! You can’t move ahead in two directions at once. Focus on “unsticking yourself” from one thing at a time.
“So many women just don’t know how great they really are,” says Ash. “They come to us all vogue outside and vague on the inside.”
To get from here to there, be concrete and specific about what you want out of life and how you’ll get it.
Expect to do a little work to get from here to there
Bill Gates programmed computers at university for 10,000 hours before he started his own company. Gates is one of the most successful entrepreneurs in recent history (perhaps of all time) — but he spent 10,000 hours practicing before he took the leap! That’s 416 days of working around the clock.
This tip for getting from here to there is from Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers, and involves practicing your craft. “…[successful people]…simply put in more hours than anyone else,” writes Gladwell.
Stay connected to yourself
No matter how you’re planning on getting unstuck, stay open to revising as you go. For instance, you may decide to stop focusing on moving forward in your relationship, and start focusing on moving ahead in your career. That’s okay!
Take your nose off the grindstone every so often…look around…and make sure you’re still on the right track. Let yourself make revisions and change your goals whenever you need.
Help other peeps move forward their lives
When you encourage, educate, and connect with other women, you increase your own dedication, determination, and self-discipline! You feel good about yourself, which increases your motivation and gives you the self-confidence you need to move forward in life. It feels great to help people move towards their dreams, and it’s good karma! Learn how to help someone achieve their financial goals – or their artistic dreams that may seem unrealistic to you.
“Those who are blessed with the most talent don’t necessarily outperform everyone else,” says Ash. “It’s the women with follow-through who excel.”
Need something else to chew on? Read Is Quitting Healthy? How to Know When to Give Up on Your Goals.
If you have any thoughts on changing your life, please comment below…
I'm glad you're here! My name is Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen; my husband Bruce and I live in Vancouver, BC with our critters. We can't have kids, and are learning to accept whatever life brings - both good and bad. I have an MSW (Master of Social Work) from UBC, and degrees in Education and Psychology. I hope you say hello below - I can't give relationship advice, but writing can bring you clarity and insight.