Moving on after splitting up with someone you love is especially difficult when you don’t have relationship closure. These six tips for finding freedom after heartbreak will help you move on after a relationship breakup — especially if you’re not ready to let your ex go.
“Sometimes the partner ending the relationship doesn’t quite know themselves why they are ending it – it’s more of a feeling or intuitive urge,” says transformational coach and author Gini Grey. “Because I work from an energetic and spiritual perspective with clients, I’ve seen relationships end that made no sense to the client I was working with.”
Below, Grey describes how to let go of someone you love when you don’t have relationship closure from a spiritual/intuitive perspective. And, I added tips from a practical, psychological viewpoint. For more help with moving on after a relationship breakup, read Ex-Free: 9 Keys To Freedom After Heartbreak.
Freedom After Heartbreak – Moving on After a Relationship Breakup
Change how you’re thinking about your ex and the breakup. Grey explains the importance of turning inward when you don’t understand why your partner doesn’t love you anymore. Look at your relationship and ex from a more energetic/spiritual/intuitive place, and begin to see the ‘why’s. “People may not even be able to explain it intellectually but they get it on a deeper level and find peace as a result,” she says, suggesting that heartbroken people take time in a “meditative state” and look at the relationship as though it is outside of themselves.
Notice what messages come when you ask these questions:
- Why were we together? (purpose of relationship – to grow, learn, love, heal a pattern etc.)
- Why has the relationship ended? (look from both perspectives as sometimes a partner leaves because the other has outgrown them spiritually)
- What is the benefit of us splitting up? (there is usually a benefit to anything ending, even though it feels painful going through the grieving at first)
- What is my next best step? (you might get an image of something, a sensation or just a knowing what to do next)
“The important thing is to stay out of the intellect trying to analyze things as that only blocks the higher truth,” says Grey. “Looking at it from a centered, grounded place can be very illuminating.”
Shift your focus from loss to new beginnings. This is difficult to do when you’re trying to let go of someone you love and you don’t have closure, but it’s very healthy! Instead of ruminating on your loss and the way things were, start planning your new life. What have you always wanted to do? What interests have you allowed to slide, that you can now focus on? Start thinking about your life goals – and remember that there is life after splitting up with your partner!
The rest of this article has been moved to my new site, “Quips and Tips for Love Relationships.”
Please go to Getting Over Getting Dumped to continue reading!
If you want to get back together with your ex, you might find The Magic of Making Up helpful.
I'm glad you're here! My name is Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen; my husband Bruce and I live in Vancouver, BC with our critters. We can't have kids, and are learning to accept whatever life brings - both good and bad. I have an MSW (Master of Social Work) from UBC, and degrees in Education and Psychology. I hope you say hello below - I can't give relationship advice, but writing can bring you clarity and insight.