Comments on: When You Caused Your Pet’s Death – How to Cope With the Guilt http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/death-pet-coping-with-grief-guilt-after-pet-dies/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=death-pet-coping-with-grief-guilt-after-pet-dies Thu, 16 May 2013 15:02:14 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: Rebecca http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/death-pet-coping-with-grief-guilt-after-pet-dies/comment-page-5/#comment-78084 Rebecca Thu, 04 Apr 2013 22:09:30 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2147#comment-78084 Thank you Laurie. My cat is ok. But because I left the door to the lanai cracked for the cat my tea cup Yorkie somehow got out of the bathroom I had shut her in – then onto the lanai- probably fell down the stairs and into the pool. When I came home my angel was gone. Not doing so good. But thank you for the kind words. This site and the book gave me some tools I am trying.

]]> By: Laurie http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/death-pet-coping-with-grief-guilt-after-pet-dies/comment-page-5/#comment-78082 Laurie Thu, 04 Apr 2013 20:58:50 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2147#comment-78082 Dear Rebecca,

I am so sorry for your loss. The only thing worse than losing a cat you love is thinking that you did something to cause her death. The guilt and pain seems overwhelming, and like it’ll never go away.

I remember calling my white cat from my front door, and seeing her stagger out of the bushes, dragging her crushed, bloody, broken leg behind her. It was the worst sight I’ve ever seen. The veterinarian put her to sleep, and I felt like it was my fault.

You didn’t cause your cat’s death, any more than I caused mine. They were terrible, tragic accidents. I don’t know why they had to happen, but they did. If you knew your kitty cat would have died this way, you would never have left her.

I hope you can eventually forgive yourself. Your cat is in peace now, and not reliving her end. You’re reliving her final moments, but she is beyond that. She is resting – perhaps even chasing mice and rolling in catnip, in her version of kitty cat heaven!

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Blessings,
Laurie

]]> By: Rebecca http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/death-pet-coping-with-grief-guilt-after-pet-dies/comment-page-5/#comment-77972 Rebecca Mon, 01 Apr 2013 15:08:12 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2147#comment-77972 Thank you Robert. The final moments are what is giving me the most difficulty. My rational side knows she is whole again – feeling better than she has in a long time. She was on daily pain medicine and appetite stimulators – I tried to be a good 2nd mom for her – she had a rough first couple of years. I just totally blew it on that last day. I keep going over it – all I had to was keep the cat inside close the lanai. I cannot accept what I let happen to her. She was so tiny and defenseless. This was my job. It just keeps going over and over how and what my baby went through. Thank you for the very kind thoughts.

]]> By: Robert http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/death-pet-coping-with-grief-guilt-after-pet-dies/comment-page-4/#comment-77963 Robert Mon, 01 Apr 2013 13:11:32 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2147#comment-77963 Rebecca,
I am so sorry for your loss and for the pain you are enduring. If you search down this thread you will see that I too lost a beloved pet to a drowning. It was horrible beyond words. I have since found a way to (mostly) forgive myself and to remember the love and care I gave to the pet. Your pain is huge…I know. Allow yourself to grieve but never forget that you loved your dog with all your heart. She knew that and is now at peace. Traumatic deaths are so difficult to process as our minds always run with the thoughts of their final moments. Do not allow those thoughts to rob you of years of wonderful memories. I did and it pulled me into a dark place. You are not to blame for what happened. One day you will be reunited with Lovey and all will be made right. Her sight will be restored, her limbs will no longer ache and her youth will be restored. I know that any real heaven could not be complete without the gift of our fur-children. I wish you peace and hope that sooner, rather than later it makes its way into your mind and heart.

]]> By: Rebecca http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/death-pet-coping-with-grief-guilt-after-pet-dies/comment-page-4/#comment-77882 Rebecca Sat, 30 Mar 2013 15:24:08 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2147#comment-77882 I cannot forgive myself. I cannot stop crying. My Lovey passed away on Saturday. She was a tea cup Yorkie. She was old, arthritic, blind in one eye – she did not like the lanai. I left the lanai cracked for the cat to get in and out. Never worried about Lovie because she did’t like the lanai. Also we have a large master bath I closed her in the bathroom before I left just to be safe. The door to the bathroom is like a slider. Lovey was only 3 lbs I can only guess that that cat somehow slid the bathroom door open. Or Lovey somehow fell into it and accidently opened. she was so small and confused she could not have opened that door on purpose. I would never have imagined this nightmare. Somehow the bathroom got open and Lovey got onto the lanai. Lovey hates the lanai. She must have been so confused and scared. she somehow made her way around to the other side and would have had to have fallen down the stairs – she was to small to do the stairs -all the way around to the other side and down to the lower level. When I got home she was floating in the pool. Nothing would bring her back. My mind keeps going round and round the different scenarios how this happened – how many things had to happen. My little girl had to have been so scared and alone – i wasnt there. My husband says it is not my fault but it is my fault. It is my fault my angel is gone. I cannot stop crying – my heart is broken – my baby is gone and it is all my fault. I love you my little Lovey I am so so very sorry little one. Please forgive me. God help me I cannot forgive myself.

]]> By: Pauline http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/death-pet-coping-with-grief-guilt-after-pet-dies/comment-page-4/#comment-74870 Pauline Sun, 27 Jan 2013 22:33:47 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2147#comment-74870 Robert

Thank you so much fo your kind words.

It really helps and I am sure I will refer to them often

Pauline

]]> By: Robert http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/death-pet-coping-with-grief-guilt-after-pet-dies/comment-page-4/#comment-74855 Robert Sun, 27 Jan 2013 14:49:56 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2147#comment-74855 MM,

Perhaps pet ownership is not for you. It is good that you now recognize that animals require a consistent level of care. I would suggest that one way for you to handle your pain is to reach out to a local animal shelter and find out how you can volunteer. Maybe going to walk a few dogs…or play with some cats that need attention.

Recognizing our limitations and responsibilities that might interfere with properly caring for an animal is admirable. Far to many animals wind up on the street or neglected because their owners did not think out or plan for their lives together. Getting past the guilt that you feel will not be easy, but it can be a springboard for you becoming an advocate for animals in need.

Best of luck to you.

]]> By: Robert http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/death-pet-coping-with-grief-guilt-after-pet-dies/comment-page-4/#comment-74854 Robert Sun, 27 Jan 2013 14:45:10 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2147#comment-74854 Pauline,

What you did was an act of kindness. The fact that the cat accidently died does not change the fact that you tried to help this poor creature. I can only imagine the trauma that you endured as a result of what happened….but you are not to blame. You opened your home and your heart to an animal in need. Thank you.

Robert

]]> By: MM http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/death-pet-coping-with-grief-guilt-after-pet-dies/comment-page-4/#comment-74845 MM Sun, 27 Jan 2013 02:44:00 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2147#comment-74845 My bunny died on Thursday. There was nothing I could do at the time to save her and nothing that the vet could have done. But the remorse and guilt are eating me because I know that the last few weeks I didn’t have as much time to properly feed her or give her water, she was really skinny. I really loved her though and loved watching her little face and caring her. I loved holding her and there is nothing sweeter in the world than she was. I loved watching her run around my room. I even built a cage – but that cage wasn’t as great as i thought and it was impossible to clean after a while, so I stopped cleaning it. Ever since her death I can’t stop crying or thinking about it and how I neglected the poor innocent bunny. I think that she died from drinking so much water that she froze to death… I don’t know but I know that I played a role. I cry every night and I prey about her and I prey to her and I think about her and I want to know what I can do for god’s forgiveness and hers. I wish that she lived longer- I wish that she grew old and I wish that today she hopped around my room. I wish that whenever I entered my room from now on I would see her. I keep thinking about her little grey fur and her dark blue eyes. I keep thinking about her standing by the door always looking out – forever she’ll live in my heart. Forever I’ll remember her little face and energy. She was so innocent and couldn’t speak up to me when she was hungry or tired or thirsty. And i kept thinking and hoping she would use her regular bunny water bottle but she didn’t. I kept saying I would get her a cage but i let life take over and every days chores and problems to be put in the way. Wish i took her out of the cage and let her out. Forever she will be in my heart. I am a human and I can love- I have that ability. never has a broken heart or death of someone caused me such grief and guilt. I hope that god forgives me and she really is in a better place. I will never neglect a poor helpless animal again.

Thanks for reading:(

]]> By: Pauline http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/death-pet-coping-with-grief-guilt-after-pet-dies/comment-page-4/#comment-74453 Pauline Mon, 21 Jan 2013 03:13:24 +0000 http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/?p=2147#comment-74453 I accidentally caused a cats death tonight and I feel terrible. We have lived beside this cat for years it’s owners moved and left it. We have been feeding it for many weeks on our porch it was such a great cat. Last night it was terribly cold so I put out a box with a blanket for him. He pawed the window for he first time essentially saying let me Iin! We own a dog and cat and I didn’t know if it had fleas or nails or even knew how to use. Litter box. I checked on him during the night and saw him curled up asleep. He ideas so old he was and bones. Tonight after dinner I couldn’t stand the thought of him out there so I brought him into the garage got his food and water bowl from the porch and brought them into the garage. I went to close the garage our and it wouldn’t shut. I didn’t notice him. I crushed his back or shoulders n he was circling around in pain. He died few minutes later. I have been crying all night I can’t believe this happened!!! I don’t think I’ll ever get over it

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