Dealing With Guilt When You Caused Your Dog’s Death

If you accidentally hurt or killed your dog – or you decided to put your dog to sleep and regret it – you may be consumed with guilt and grief. Here’s help for dealing with guilt after you caused your dog’s death.

I accidentally killed my dog In Going Home: Finding Peace When Pets Die, Jon Katz addresses the difficult but necessary topic of saying goodbye to a beloved pet. Accidentally killing your dog is an extremely painful experience, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Jon draws on personal experiences, stories from fellow pet owners, and philosophical reflections to help pet owners grieve the loss of their dogs. He gently asks readers to consider if they gave their dogs good lives and if they used their best judgment in the end. In dealing with these issues, you will deal with guilt about your dog’s death, and let go of the pain.

The most important thing to remember is that you’re not alone. Read through the comments section below, and you’ll see that accidentally killing your dog was a tragic mistake that happens to more people than you realize.

These tips for dealing with guilt after you caused your dog’s death are inspired by a reader who shared his guilty feelings about putting his dog to sleep. Saying good-bye to your beloved dog is heartbreaking – and it’s even worse if you feel guilty about your pet’s death. I hope these tips help.




Dealing With Guilt After Causing Your Dog’s Death

Some people accidentally kill their dog by accidentally leaving them in harm’s way. The most important thing to remember is that you did NOT purposely cause your pet’s death. Dealing with guilt may be a bit lighter if you know you would’ve acted differently if you had the chance. If your actions led to your pet’s death, you have to keep reminding yourself that you did not deliberately harm your dog. It was an accident, and you would have done things differently if you had know what would happen.

Dealing With Guilt When You Caused Your Dog’s Death

Dealing With Guilt When You Caused Your Dog’s Death

If you’re struggling with grief and guilty feelings because of the circumstances surrounding your dog’s death, read Letting Go of an Animal You Love: 75 Ways to Survive Pet Loss. I interviewed veterinarians, grief counselors, and pet experts for the best ways to survive the death of a beloved dog, and I included stories from real pet owners who coped with guilt and grief in sometimes surprising ways.

Identify “imagined” guilt about your dog’s death

Not recognizing that your Yorkie, Doberman, or terrier was ill doesn’t mean that you weren’t paying attention or taking good care of him or her! This is imagined guilt. Animals can’t always communicate their physical health; pet owners can’t see inside their bodies and brains.

Another type of “imagined” guilt is if you’ve accidentally caused your pet’s death by letting him out, keeping him in, or losing track of his whereabouts. If you did not deliberately set out to harm your pet, then you have nothing to feel guilty about. I know this is easier said than done – and it takes effort to forgive yourself.

If you’re dealing with imagined guilt because of your dog’s death, remember that sometimes illness or disease overcomes our dogs and other beloved pets…and there’s nothing we can do. This loss of control is a very painful — but real — part of life.

I recently wrote How to Forgive Yourself for Not Protecting Your Dog, to help you deal with the guilt you feel. Please take a moment to read it — it’s the comments on this article that inspired me to write it.

Remember that it’s normal to feel guilty when your dog dies

Whether your guilt is real or imagined, know that it is a normal grief reaction. Even the most “innocent” pet owners feel guilt over a pet’s death. For instance, I now cringe when I recall how angry I was at my beloved cat, Zoey, for scratching the basement door (I didn’t realize the door to her litter box was shut tight, and she couldn’t get in). That was over 12 years ago, and I still feel guilty! Healing after you had to put your pet down often requires forgiving yourself.

dealing with guilt after dog deathGoodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has Ever Lost a Pet is the number one bestselling book on pet loss and grief on Amazon. I love the book because it offers both heartwarming stories and practical guidance on grieving the loss of a pet. It’ll help you deal with guilt when you caused your pet’s death.

Identify “real” guilt about accidentally killing your dog

Real guilt may spring from your feelings that you neglected your dog annual vaccinations, daily food intake, exercise habits, and “quality time” with you. If you’re struggling with real guilt, remember that you had reasons for doing what you did. The stress of money, work, kids, marriage, and daily life may have taken precedence over how you treated your pet. Maybe you didn’t make the best choices.

Healing after your pet’s death involves accepting that you wish you would’ve done things differently — and talking this through with your family, friends, or loved ones.

Remember what you did right — because you did a lot right

Dealing With Guilt Caused My Dog’s Death

Dealing With Guilt When You Caused Your Dog’s Death

Your dog loved you beyond all reason – so you must have done something right. How did you love and take care of your pet? Balance your real guilt with the real ways you loved your pet. You took good care of your dog in many ways; don’t wave that away.

Dealing with guilt when you caused your dog’s death isn’t just about grieving; it’s about cherishing the best parts of your life with your dog. If you feel like you’ll never be happy again, read Can’t Live Without Your Dog? How to Survive Your Pet’s Death.

Do you feel like you caused your dog’s death? I encourage you to share your experience below. Talking and writing about it is healthier than ignoring it, and can help you process your grief. I can’t offer advice on what to do about accidentally killing your dog, but it may help you to share what happened. Sometimes writing brings clarity and insight.

May you forgive yourself after your dog’s death. Know that your dog has forgiven you, and your dog knows it was an accident! You would never have hurt your dog if you knew what was going to happen. Your dog is free and happy now, and resting in peace. May God give you peace, heal your soul, and help you open your heart to love another dog.




“If there is a heaven, it’s certain our animals are to be there,” says Pam Brown. “Their lives become so interwoven with our own, it would take more than an archangel to detangle them.”



Stay in touch - sign up for free weekly updates

Get Laurie's Blossom Newsletter

Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen on twitterLaurie Pawlik-Kienlen on pinterestLaurie Pawlik-Kienlen on linkedinLaurie Pawlik-Kienlen on googleLaurie Pawlik-Kienlen on facebook
Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Welcome - I'm glad you're here! I can't give advice, but you're welcome to share your experience below. I'm a writer in Vancouver; my degrees are in Psychology, Education, and Social Work. I live with my husband, two dogs, and cat. We are childless, & have made peace with it. It helps to love Jesus :-)

You may also like...

22 Responses

  1. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Michelle,

    I’m so sorry for your loss. What a tragic accident, and a terrible thing for both you and Baxter. I wish I knew what to say to comfort you…but I know that all you want is your dog back. It’s devastating and heartbreaking, and I am so sorry you’re going through this.

    I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, that you find a way through the grief and guilt. May you forgive yourself for this terrible accident — and may you somehow know that it was an accident. You would never have hurt Baxter, and you would have done anything you could to save his life. Know that he is resting in peace, and he loves you even more know than he ever did before!

    Your dog loves you more now, because he sees how much he meant to you. He sees how much you love him, and he wishes you could find peace and self-forgiveness. He forgives you, and he wants you to be happy again.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  2. Michelle says:

    I live in Las Vegas where recently temperatures have been around 120 degrees. I was going to take my beloved dog Baxter to the dog park 3 days ago. I work nights and had gotten home early that morning, I was tired, but I’ve been trying to spend more time with him. I went inside my house to grab his leash, lock up, turn the alarm on etc. I started calling for him and had completely forgotten I had already put him in the car. By the time I realized it I ran outside and he was already dead on my passenger floorboard. What’s heartbreaking is that he had scratched my driver’s side door trying to get out. I was hysterical. I was shaking him trying to wake him up. I was begging for him to wake up. I rescued him almost 8 years ago and he was my baby and the best dog ever. I drove to the pet cemetery with him in my car and collapsed on the floor of their lobby. They had to bring me a chair and water because I was so distraught I was hyperventilating. I don’t know how I will ever forgive myself. I really don’t. The guilt I feel is absolutely overwhelming. It’s almost unbearable.

  3. JR says:

    Hello Jasmine, so sorry for your loss.
    I broke out in tears reading your post because the same thing happened to me, i had a greyhound puppy, and for the stupid reason of not being able to figure out where to get the money from, i didn’t get her vaccinated either! Thinking the same as you, that what were the chances of her getting parvo? Now i hate myself because my Cookie is dead, Cookie was her name, she was only four months old when she died, i loved her to death!
    And now i do not know how to move forward, the guilt is unbearable, she was so cute and perfect and well behaved, she was sooo smart, she would fool my other two dogs into leaving their food unattended, and she would eat it all, and the dogs would look at each other like asking themselves, what just happened?
    She was crazy smart, and i miss her so much! I can not get over the fact that she would be alive if it wasn’t for my mistake, she had her whole life ahead of her, and i messed up, and my little baby paid with her life, all because of my stupidity!
    The pain inside is unbearable, i cry myself to sleep every night, i miss her so much, i did this to her, she depended on me, i was supposed to protect her and i failed her, and no matter how i look at it, she is dead because of me, and it is killing me inside.
    I love you Cookie and i hope you can forgive me, because i can not forgive myself. Goodbye my little baby!

  4. Barbara says:

    Hi Steph,

    I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet .. I have loved and lost different pets through the years and it’s heartbreaking each time it happens, particularly when you feel that you could and should have done more for your pet. We had a tuxedo kitty, before adopting two others from our local shelter. We lost Gustav to oral cancer in 2006. We tried everything we could think of to try and help him but in the end, letting him go was the best thing for him. Gustav was my husband’s cat, who lived with him in a small highrise apartment since he was a kitten, for many years before we met. My husband smoked in those days, and not knowing of the dangers of second-hand smoke for cats, we believe that this somehow contributed to the cancer, years later. Gustav was 14 years old when he passed.

    My husband eventually quit smoking for good, and through the years we have learned and gotten better at caring for our pets. When loss happens through tragedy or what we perceive as neglect, forgiveness is usually the last thing on our minds. If I could offer one piece of advice, it is to take your experience and learn from it so that the next time you make the decision to bring an animal into your family life, you make a promise to yourself and your new pet, to do everything in your power to love and protect them like they are your children. In essence there is really little difference between animals and the human children we choose to bring into our lives. Both need our love, guidance and protection. Talk to Nala and Mudd as if they were in front of you, and tell them how you feel. They will hear you. There is no pain or judgement in heaven, only love and understanding. Take care.

  5. Jasmine says:

    My husband and I just lost our 6 month old Great Pyrenees puppy yesterday. He had gotten into the trash and eaten a bunch of dirty diapers last Friday. We usually keep him in the laundry room when we leave and put up a baby gate. He had gotten tall enough to just hop over it but we didn’t know. The next day we had switched his food and he had thrown up a couple of times the next day. So we thought it was the diapers and food that might have upset his belly. He was still happy and hyper as usual. The next couple of days though he just started going downhill. Losing weight, not eating, lethargic, vomiting multiple times a day, foaming at the mouth and we thought the chemical gel in the diapers had gotten stuck in his GI tract or something and gotten him really sick. My husband and I have two young boys and one on the way and he works full time and I go to school full time so we’re very busy but we still tried to make time for Sammy. We made an appointment for him at the vet on Tuesday afternoon and he tested positive for Parvo. The vet said that they would need to hospitalize him and if not he would die from dehydration. The whole time we were at the vet he was weak and limp but still trying to wag his tail when we talked to him or pet him. It was extremely expensive but we paid for his treatment and the vet was positive that he’d recover so we weren’t worried either. We went home to bleach his room and his toys and crate so it’d be nice and clean for when he came home. The next morning I got a call around 8am and ignored it because the boys were still sleeping which was rare so I figured I’d get a few extra minutes of sleep too. When we woke up I decided to call the vet to check on my baby when she said it was her who tried to call earlier and that Sam had perked up yesterday once they got the IV in but she came in that morning and he had passed overnight. I just broke down and my husband had to continue the conversation. I was in shock. I couldn’t believe it. He was only 6 months old and he was the happiest, silliest, big ole baby! We never got his puppy shots because we didn’t have the money. It was on our list but we figured the odds that something so serious would happen was so slim that it could wait. We still have no idea how he got it. I am devastated and feel guilty that my young boy died because we couldn’t figure out how to pay for his shots that could have saved his life. Money is replaceable but a beloved pet isn’t. I knew the risks and still didn’t do anything about it. He was too weak to walk and when they carried him out of the room I said “bye sambooka” and pet him on the head like I always did and he weakly wagged his tail for me. He would still be alive if we hadn’t just been good pet owners and gotten his shots like we knew we should’ve. I feel like I didn’t even have enough time to get to know him. He didn’t even make it to a year old. My son won’t get to grow up with him because of me. I keep telling myself that there was no way to know what would happen and if I could go back I would do it all differently. But I just keep seeing his cute little innocent face and him knowing I should be the one to love and protect him and I failed him. Because of me he suffered and his life was cut incredibly short.

  6. Barbara says:

    My story is slightly different in that we are not 100% certain that our cat has died, but I feel like she must have met with a horrible end as we haven’t found her anywhere. Jenny, our grey and white tabby girl took off into the woods next to our home at midday when we tried to put her in an outdoor pen to give her some outside time. She is an indoor cat and has not had much exposure to outside. She had an immediate and very bad reaction to the pen. She thrashed against the wire screen and before I could get a hold of her, she got out and took off. I have searched in the woods and surrounding areas, tree stumps, dense bush, old shacks and enclosures. Everywhere I thought she could hide. I have gone out every day a few times a day, every day since she left. I have placed used litter and the contents of our vacuum in areas close to home, hoping that the scent will draw her back home. I have left food out and a makeshift shelter with a blanket that she slept on, outside. As we have predators such as coyotes and fishers, I feel that she may have been grabbed by something as she wouldn’t have any awareness or experience with them. She must have felt absolutely terrified that first night and I feel absolutely horrible about this. I feel completely responsible for what has happened and therein lies the guilt. I should have known better than to try this with her as she is very shy and skittish. I don’t care about forgiveness, but want more than anything for her to still be alive. I pray that Jenny will return but at this point its been 10 days and I don’t have a good feeling that she will on her own. Thank you for reading.

  7. Cynthia says:

    Chris, Im so sorry for your loss. When Maya died I thought I would lose my mind, I wanted to die too, to be with her. But there’s a promise from God that one day we will see them again. One of my friends gave a beautiful poem name the Rainbow Bridge…that poem gave me hope and today I feel much better. I hope you feel better too. God bless and hugs…

  8. Chris L says:

    Hi Cynthia & Annelize. I understand how you are feeling. A week ago (June 2) we lost our beautiful 2 year old Heeler/Collie dog Rusty. I was mowing grass on our driveway; the dog was with me. When I got to the road I checked for oncoming vehicles and I’m sure I never saw any. There is a hill about a mile away, that’s as far as I could see. I started back to the garage, was going to leave the mower for my wife and take the dog to the back. I got about 50′ from the road and heard a yelp. Rusty was lying in the middle of the road, hit by a truck. I am sure I never saw it when I checked so it must have been speeding.
    I feel bad for not putting the dog in the house when I was working in front, even for a minute, as we could not get him to stop chasing cars so always watched closely or leashed him when we had him in front.
    Rusty was my retirement buddy, basically we were together from the moment I got up until I went to bed (he would sleep by my bed for a while, then go to his chair in the living room- yes we had 3 chairs- mine, my wife’s, and Rusty’s). He was very smart and if I wanted him to do something I could usually talk to him like a person instead of giving commands.
    I have never felt worse in my life and ended up on anti-depressants. I am starting to feel better now. I just found an article “Dealing with the Guilt” by Ginger-lyn Summer dated September 10, 1999 (http:/www.petloss.com/dealing.htm) which I think is very helpful.

  9. Tim says:

    I know what you are feeling with the intense grief and guilt. I too ran over my beautiful dog six months ago. Although I still think about him every day the intensity does wane.

  10. Renee says:

    I too feel consumed with guilt and agony over what I did to my dog. Thank you for your story. I think most of us have done things to our dogs in anger. It helps me to know that someone else understands what I’m experiencing.

  11. Renee says:

    The comments on this blog have been so helpful to me. Two days ago, I caused the death of our 13 year old basset hound, who was the sweetest dog you’d ever want to know. I bathed him and, like I always do, tied him to our truck in our driveway to dry off. If I leave him in the backyard to dry, he rolls around in the mud. My son called and we decided to go somewhere together. I commented to him and to my husband, “I’m going to shower the dog smell off of me and move Bruiser to the backyard before I go.” Then I proceeded to drive off with my poor sweet dog tied to the back of our truck. Finally, after almost a mile, someone caught up to me and told me my dog was dead behind me. Horrified, I carried him to the grass where he lifted his head. His injuries were profound (internal and external), but he never cried. I guess he was in shock; I have no idea how he was still alive. We had him euthanized at an emergency clinic while we held and comforted him. I cannot get the vision of that poor, sweet dog dragging behind my truck out of my head. I don’t imagine dogs have reasoning ability, but I can’t help wondering what he must have thought and how horrible the experience was for him. Thank you to all of you who have shared your stories; they have been helpful to me.

  12. Sarah says:

    I came home from work and I accidentally ran over one of my dogs. She was just a few months old. We own her parents and when we were burying her, her mom wouldn’t walk away from the box. She kept sniffing it and whining. When we were finished burying her, her mom wouldn’t walk away. She sat there and it made me feel so much worse. I understand that it isn’t my fault because it was an accident but I feel so horrible about it. I took a puppy away from her mom and I don’t know what to do. I feel like crap and I don’t know how to get over this.

  13. Carrie says:

    Carmen, I just found this website because I have been feeling so much guilt over my 8 yr old lab that died unexpectedly in August. Pretty close to the same situation as you, our dog we think had an adrenal tumor. It happened so fast. After reading your story I have tell you that I promise you 100% that you did everything you thought was right for Lilly. We all do what we think is the best at times like that. It’s something that we can’t control. You and I have played things over and over in our heads, but we need to play the parts where we DID do what any good parent would do by loving and caring faithfully for our girls. I am so glad I found this website and read your story, though heartbreaking like mine, it was nearly identical. Our dogs knew and still know how much we loved them and that they were happy and well taken care of. I know my girl is still with me as Lilly is with you. They still love us unconditionally. Please take comfort in that.

  14. James says:

    Two months ago, I was walking my 2 year old working cocker off the lead (like I always do) in the fields around our house. It was very cold, and George (my dog) went on some ice on a pond that he would usually swim in in the summer (not very big). I through a big stick from a distance and it created a small hole in the ice and George went after the stick and got stuck under the ice. I ran into the pond trying to break the ice, but it scared George and he swam the other way and I couldn’t reach him, so he drowned. We had to drain the pond the next day to retrieve him. We buried him the next day. I miss him so much and blame myself for throwing the stick – we used to play that game all the time. I’m so sad and feel like I have lost my shadow. He was by my side all day as I work from home. I miss him so much.

  15. jane gee says:

    Tamara. What you are going through is dreadful but i think it is completely normal to relapse after a period of time. I too am struggling exactly as you explained many months after a tragedy. Like you i go through the same feelings – “if only id spent more time playing with him, got him to the vet” etc etc. I think even if we had both been our idea of the Perfect Pet Owner we would still be giving ourselves a hard time for not doing enough. After you lose someone it is the missing of the opportunity to do all these things that makes the hole in our life feel so big. I imagine everyone on here wishes they could just go back- a few minutes, a few hours, whenever- in order to “do things differently”. Likely as not the outcome would have been the same but we cant help wondering, but that thought process will make you ill. Its hard but you have situation and try to find comfort from the memories of the time you had together. Think of all the positive interactions you had together- maybe the day you got him, the christmases he had….
    Im pretty sure, because you are even bothering to write about your trauma, that you were indeed brilliant pet owner. Your dog was lucky to have you and your family in his life. So many dogs are mistreated or neglected and never get the joy out of life i bet he got, so he was one of the lucky ones.
    We can kick ourselves forever on the “what ifs” and “if onlys”. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Not.
    I dont know if we will ever feel normal again after such a loss, i’d like to reassure you that time is a healer- you will not ever forget but it will not feel so sharp and distressing when you do think on it as time progresses.
    It might help to find an outlet for your grief. Personally i campaign for animal welfare- it gives me a purpose when i feel the dark thoughts of not feeling worthy of living.
    Finally, im sure you know this, your pet is at peace now. He is not in pain or suffering now. Im pretty sure he wouldnt have wanted you to go on feeling that way on his behalf now he has passed.
    with empathy. J

  16. Tamara says:

    I wrote on this page about 8 months ago after the passing of my 6 year old dog, Ziggy. After he passed I had to go on anti- depressants and I was starting to feel better, I was actually doing ok for awhile. Now the past few months I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it again. I still feel so guilty. I just keep thinking of the last night I had with him…he was laying on the floor next to the bed panting. I kept my hand on him the entire night. I kept falling in add out of sleep…I woke up around 6 in the morning and somehow drifted back to sleep…when I woke back up 15 minutes later I looked over and noticed he wasn’t panting. Then I realized he was dead. At that moment I knew I would never be able to forgive myself. I knew there was something wrong and I had a vet appointment for that day day but I SHOULD have called the emergency vet when he just laid there panting. I can’t get that morning out of my head…looking down at his lifeless body. It breaks my heart wondering if he was in a lot of pain because of his panting or if he was just hot. I know dogs pant for a variety of reasons. I feel so guilty because instead of rushing him to the vet I basically gambled with his life…I feel like I just let him die. It makes me feel like such a horrible person and I failed him. He was only 6 years old. I feel like while he was on the floor taking his last breaths he was wondering why I wasn’t helping him…I was sleeping. I really will never forgive myself. I just hope he knew that I loved him. Sometimes I took him for granted and now I wish more than anything I could just have some more time with him. He was such a good dog and he loved us. Now that he is gone I question whether I wss even a good owner to him. I took care of him and gave him attention but I feel like sometimes I was too distracted by life and didn’t give him all the attention a dog really needs. My husband and daughter gave him a lot of attention but I should have walked with him more, played with him more, fed him healthier food and most of all I should have paid better attention to his health. I should have brought him to vet for check ups a couple times per year but I didnt…maybe he had a disease or sickness that could have been helped with medication. Why didn’t I pay closer attention to my dogs health? Granted I didn’t realize how sick he was until the last night I had with him but still. It drives me crazy and it breaks my heart. I should have been a better owner. I just hope and pray that he was happy and knew I loved him.

  17. jane gee says:

    bbebe i am so sorry for your loss, you have lost a close companion and that is a gap that cant be filled by anyone or anything else. But your pet was suffering organ failure and if you hadnt have done what you did he would have endured far more pain and suffering. You spared him all that, so he was able to have an enjoyable life and not end it in a terrible way. I wish we could all go that way but hey! humans cant be put out of their misery (yet). You have nothing to feel guilty about but you are suffering grief- you’ve just had to say goodbye to someone who has been in your life for years. Dont matter that it wasnt a human (i have more animal friends than human ones, the grief on losing one is exactly the same). Grief takes time. Allow yourself to be sad and miss him, and, over time (yep time IS a healer) you will remember more of the good times you had together and less about the last few days. But it will be raw for a while. My sympathy.

  18. bbebe says:

    I decided to have my dog Moose put to sleep, he had liver, kidney & pancreas failure. I tried to save him & now I feel like I killed him. He was the first dog I ever had put to sleep. He was 14 years old, he was my everything, I feel lost without him & I wished I could be with him. I don’t know how to cope with this please help. Thanks.

  19. Steve says:

    Today we lost our puppy that was 10 weeks old. We only had him for four days and I am sick to myself for the accident that occurred because of me. He was across the room drinking water so I decided to take off my shoes. As I stepped out of my shoes and turned to go into the other room, the puppy ran under my feet and I stepped on the little guy. I tried to avoid him but stepped too hard. We knew that something was wrong immediately and rushed him to the emergency vet. My 10 year old daughter was there when it happened and we were both distraught, but really prayed that Scooby would be OK. Then, the vet came out and told us that he couldn’t be saved. He tried to be supportive and told us that this happens all too frequently and that accidents happen that we simply cannot avoid. My heart is broken and cannot believe how this could have happened.

    Nothing seems to be helping the enormous grief and sadness I am feeling right now. I have never harmed another living thing and cannot wrap my head around this. Our wonderful puppy Scooby was there one second and gone the next. I feel so terrible for the little guy and and wish it could all be different.

    I am so heartbroken and pray for the soul of our little pup.

  20. Jim Moriarty says:

    On September 19 at 2:45 p.m. I put my therapy dog to sleep that had valley fever, passing blood, either a cancerous legion between his heart and lungs or a valley fever wound, water on his lungs, difficulty eating, couldn’t go on walks anymore, extremely enlarged liver, he was in pain and I had made the mistake with his father of waiting until it was to late and he collapsed from heart failure. I promised J.b. I wouldn’t let that happen to him but I feel like it’s my fault and I should have given the medication a little more time to work. I looked at some pictures from the day he died and in some it’s obvious to me he didn’t feel good but in others he looked ok. I feel like I killed my baby boy. I just didn’t want him to suffer and now go through a daily process of beating myself up over the whole situation. I don’t think the veterinarian would have done the procedure if she didn’t think it was appropriate, I hope.I only pray God and J.b will forgive me. I truly believe all of GOD’S creation will see paradise (I don’t believe animals are in need of salvation are they?) I’m not sure where but I believe Paul wrote somewhere that on that appointed day of our dear Lord ALL of creation will praise and worship the Father through the King of kings and Lord of lords. Our creator is magnificent and wonderful and I thank him daily for the blessing of the animals that he has allowed into my life. Again, I pray God and J.b forgive me for all the mistakes that ultimately led to his dealth. Thank you for letting me share.

  21. Laurie says:

    Dear guilt and grief,

    My condolences on your dog’s death. It’s a terrible experience, to find your beloved dog gone. I believe you left for work that day because you sincerely thought that she would be fine. I would’ve gone to work, too. I would’ve expected to see more obvious signs of pain or suffering.

    I hope you are able to let go of the grief and guilt you feel. You couldn’t have known how sick your dog was, because you aren’t God! You thought she would be fine, that her body would heal itself — because 99% of the time, our dogs heal. If you had known what would happen, you would have taken her to the vet. I pray you can forgive yourself, and let the memories fade. Know that your dog is resting in peace, and that she doesn’t want you to suffer any more. She wants you to live in the moment, and remember her with joy, love and freedom.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  22. guilt and grief says:

    Today is Friday and my husband found our dog vomited sometime through the night on Wednesday. He let her outside that morning and he leaves the house before I do. Before I left for work she was laying on her side on our patio. She was often sick and then would get over it. But I knew something was wrong when I saw her on the patio because it was cold out and that was unlike her. She got up and came inside and vomited a little water. I hugged her and told her it was ok, I knew she didn’t feel well. But I felt like I had to go to work even though I should have stayed home or checked in at work and left right away. When I left she was curled up in her recliner. I came home 4 1/2 hours later and she was dead. She had went into the basement and was lying on her side and when I felt her I knew she was gone. I feel horribly guilty. I live about 2 miles from a university veterinary hospital and wish I would have come home right away after checking my email at work. Before I left her I looked for all these reasons to reassure myself that she was ok…We have two other small senior dogs at home and I get up through the night to take care of them. That is what makes me so angry…I didn’t make the effort when it really mattered and I feel so sorry she suffered while I was at work oblivious to her needing help. Now I am looking back to the days and night before and tormenting myself trying to remember every little thing trying to understand how I missed that she was in distress. Why couldn’t she have been panting or whining. I feel like such an idiot…alarms should have gone off when I saw her on the patio. What is wrong with me??? I should have been more present more in tune more thoughtful. I ask myself and try to remember what I was doing at work when she was in dire need of help. I am so sorry…I wish I could go back.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>