How to Cope With Your Pet’s Death – A Veterinarian’s Help

Two veterinarians describe how they coped with their pets’ death; their experience may help you say good-bye, grieve, and heal after your pet dies.

How to Cope With Your Pet's Death

If you’re struggling with grief and guilty feelings because of the circumstances surrounding your dog or cat’s death, read 75 Ways to Survive Pet Loss. I interviewed veterinarians, grief counselors, and pet experts for the best ways to survive the death of a beloved dog or cat, and I included stories from real pet owners who coped with guilt and grief in sometimes surprising ways.

“Death…is not more than passing from one room into another,” said Helen Keller. “But there’s a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room, I shall be able to see.”




Imagine that your beloved pet can see now, is healed now, and is happy and even waiting for you now….let that comfort you.

Help Coping With Your Pet’s Death

The following stories about pet loss are from veterinarians who know what you’re going through.

A Veterinarian Shares How He Coped When His Dog Died

I remember losing our family German Shepherd as a 11 year old. I was devastated and it really was like losing a family member. The loss of a pet should not be taken lightly and it is not something most people get over quickly or easily – although many may think there is a social stigma not to grieve for animals as we do for humans. The fact is that the bond that is formed between people and their pets is in many cases even stronger than some of the bonds between people. Since losing our German Shepherd, I have lost two cats also – one was an elderly girl that had to be put down due to deteriorating health, whilst the other a couple of years later was sadly run over.

coping with pet loss

Laurie’s dog, Georgie – How to Cope With Pet Death

Each pet loss had a different effect on me, depending on the bond I had shared with each animal. I was particularly saddened by the death of our German Shepherd because I had grown up with her and because she had always been very close to me in my childhood. ~ From Veterinarian Mark Edwards

An important way to cope with pet death is to focus on you pet’s life rather than the death (regardless of the circumstances in which they died). As for humans, grief is a five step process: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally the last stage – acceptance. Once you accept your pet’s death, it is not unreasonable to consider getting a new pet. This is definitely not something you should feel guilty about.

Getting your pet cremated can be a good way to remember him or her. You can chose to have their ashes given back to you in a wooden casket or an urn and can even have a picture and plaque put on this. Do give yourself plenty of time for the grieving process; you may even want to take time off work. You may be surprised how much the death of your animal affects you when it does finally happen.

If you feel guilty about pet loss, you might find Coping With Guilty Feelings After Your Pet Dies helpful.

A Veterinarian Describes Losing Her Pets Through Euthanasia

I’ve lost five dogs over the years; the last dog I lost was in April 2007. None died naturally, I had to euthanize them, and all but one had cancer. The other was euthanized as the result of a bad fall and was only 4 ½ years old.

I’m still sad, particularly about my “very best dog of all time.” She was euthanized 6 years ago, and I still miss her. We did everything together: she came to work with me, we camped together, and I haven’t had a dog like her since. Coping with grief because of your dog’s death takes time. Losing a pet is like losing a family member. You always feel a degree of sadness, but after a while it doesn’t hurt so much.

Some people like to get a new pet straight away because the loss of the old pet leaves such a hole. If you’ve always had a dog around the house, and then all of a sudden there isn’t one that can exacerbate the great sense of loss. In that case, a new pet can give you something to love and hug while you grieve the loss of the old pet. However, people need to be very careful not to compare the new pet to the old pet, as it will never measure up. ~ Veterinarian Rosie Brown.

Should you get another pet to help you cope with your pet’s death? If you have to put your cat or dog to sleep, it’s normal to go through the normal stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, guilt… I think denial and guilt are the two biggies when you have to say good-bye to your dog or cat. Many people feel guilt about choosing to “kill” their pet but it’s not like that at all. If it comes to euthanasia, then you and your vet are at the point where your pet’s quality of life will not be good, there’s nothing that can be done to make it better. You’re actually doing them a great kindness to end their suffering.

feel guilty caused pets death

When Your Pet Dies

When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering and Healing by Alan D. Wolfelt is a guide for pet owners who are struggling with grief and guilt when their pet dies. This book will help you understand why your feelings are so overwhelming, and help you cope with the guilt you feel about your pet’s death. Pet loss involves stages of mourning, just like losing a loved family member or friend. With pet death, however, you may also be coming to terms with your decision to put your pet to sleep.

After your dog or cat has been put to sleep, be very kind to yourself and allow yourself to cope when your dog or cat dies. Take as long as you need to. Surround yourself with friends and family who understand what your pet meant to you, and who will listen to you and support you. The worst thing you can hear is “it’s only a dog, you can get another one”. Avoid people with that attitude, because it will only make you feel worse.

If you’re struggling with grief and guilty feelings because of the circumstances surrounding your dog or cat’s death, read Letting Go of an Animal You Love: 75 Ways to Survive Pet Loss.

I interviewed veterinarians, grief counselors, and pet experts for the best ways to survive the death of a beloved dog or cat, and I included stories from real pet owners who coped with their pet’s death in sometimes surprising ways.




Are you coping with your pet’s death? I invite you to share below; describing your dog or cat’s life and death can help you heal.

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Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen
Welcome - I'm glad you're here! I can't give advice, but you're welcome to share your experience below. I'm a writer in Vancouver; my degrees are in Psychology, Education, and Social Work. I live with my husband, two dogs, and cat. We are childless, & have made peace with it. It helps to love Jesus :-)

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362 Responses

  1. Laurie says:

    Dear Deborah,

    Thank you for being here, and sharing a little bit of Hailie’s life. She’ll be forever alive in spirit here, and in our hearts. My dog Tiffy is a 7 lb toy poodle, and I believe we have a deeper bond with those little dogs. Tiffy is so vulnerable, yet so brave and full of attitude! Don’t mess with her! When she dies, I will be heartbroken.

    It sounds like you feel like you betrayed her somehow — but I believe that letting an old dog go is the most loving thing we can do for her. The biggest, most important part of loving a dog is seeing when they need our help and compassion. Death is scary and sad, but it may also be a million times better than living in an old dog body with seizures and who knows what other aches and pains.

    You didn’t let Hailie down. You loved her right to the very end, and you made the supreme sacrifice of deciding to put her to sleep. She is resting in peace, not struggling in life. You loved her with all your heart and soul, and she knew it. She wants you to remember her with peace, love and joy…and my prayer for you is that you find the strength and courage to forgive yourself, make peace with Hailie’s life and death, and open your heart to love another wonderful dog who needs a human just like you.

    About healing from the extreme grief you feel about Hailie’s death – have you talked to a counselor? It might help you to process the pain, and learn how to let go of the guilt you feel for not “saving” her.

    I’ll keep you in my prayers.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  2. Deborah says:

    I just lost my Hailie girl almost two months ago. She started having seizures and at age 12 it was too much for her little heart to handle. She was an 8lb. toy poodle and I loved her with all my heart. I am sad every day and I feel I am not getting over this. She had to be put to sleep and my fiancé was with her. I went too, said goodbye to her, but had trouble letting her go. I got very dizzy, I couldn’t breathe and I felt faint. The people in the vet’s office gave me water but I felt like I was going to die. I miss her! I want her back. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything. Nothing is helping me. I know I am not alone but I feel I am because I was the only one who had Hailie. I was her mommy for 12 years. I feel I let her down. She trusted me. I am broken. What to do??? My poor Hailie girl. My little Booka. :(

  3. Laurie says:

    Thank you for sharing about you’re pet’s death here. My heart goes out to you, and I know your experience will help others cope with their loss.

    Dear Sandy,

    It sounds like it’s affecting you in a profound way. There’s something about a pet’s death that can trigger deeper, more emotional issues about grief, pain, or loss. I don’t know why your Aggie’s death is having such a major effect on your life, but I do encourage you to talk to a counselor.

    It’s normal to grieve a dog’s death, but when a reaction is this extreme, there might be something else going on. I think it would be very healthy and good for you to talk to a counselor about your response to your dog’s death.

    Your kids may surprise you with their resilience. Kids sometimes cope with death easier than adults; they seem to be able to flow with it a bit better. I suppose it depends on how the adults are coping, though.

    Will you call a counselor, and talk it through with him or her?

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  4. Tom Cisler says:

    We got “Ajay” about 9 years ago when he was just a puppy. I had never had a dog growing up and my wife and I never felt we could have one in our working years since we felt leaving a dog alone most of the day while we worked would not be right. But when I went into semi-retirement a decade ago, we started to talk about getting one.

    The plan was to go to a bunch of venues to look at a whole bunch of dogs and get an idea of what we might want. Didn’t quite work out that way. We went to our first one – a rescue dog event run by the local animal shelter – and met Ajay. Ten minutes later, he was in the back of our car going home.

    Ajay was a mixed breed about 8 months old at that time. We learned he was probably a mixture of Sheppard, Doberman, and maybe some Rottweiler.

    Ajay always looked younger that he actual age. Many persons were amazed that he was over 9 years old, thinking he was still more of a puppy. In fact the nickname we used for him was “puppy.” Even recently, he would often race around the yard a thousand miles an hour and spent hours chasing and treeing squirrels around our wooded property, barking at the tree base for a long time.

    When we traveled we tried to take him along with us whenever possible. He had been to the Canadian Rockies, Seattle, Tucson, Austin, Ft Myers, and many times to northern Michigan. He enjoyed traveling with us in the car. However, there were many trips my wife and I took that we could not take him. For those times we boarded him at the local “Camp Bow-Wow,” a franchise doggie day-care / boarding facility.

    Ajay always displayed a fair amount of separation anxiety when he would be away from us, whether at home alone or at Camp Bow-Wow. He always seemed to want to be with us. Whenever we would drop him off at Camp Bow-Wow, Ajay would initially be excited to go, but could see him on the on-line web cameras waiting by the pen gate alone, hoping he would be picked up soon while the other dogs had fun playing. It was always hard for me to drop him off there knowing this was the case.

    Dave, the franchise owner, was very understanding, knowing Ajay had this separation anxiety condition and would take Ajay for rides in his car often during long boarding stays just to give Ajay a break.

    My wife and I took a Caribbean Cruise the week of March 31. We dropped Ajay off at Camp Bow-Wow on Mar 29, driving to our departure city of New Orleans. We had no access to voicemail or email until April 7.

    April 7 was the worst day of my life. When the cruise ended that morning in New Orleans I received a voicemail from our vet that said “Ajay was brought in yesterday, but I am sorry he has died.”

    Dave had noticed Ajay was not doing well on Apr 6 and put him in his car to take him to the vet. Ajay died before he got there. Apparently, he suffered from “bloat” which caused his stomach to “twist” cutting off blood flow to vital organs. We have later learned that this is a condition common to dogs of his breed. We have also learned that STRESS/ANXIETY is something that can enhance this condition.

    I feel so guilty I was not there to comfort him as he died. He was my buddy, my best friend, and he trusted me to always take care of him. I feel so guilty that I took him to a place where his stress and anxiety may have helped kill him.

    My wife and I cried for most of the 16 hour drive back to Michigan. We said goodbye to him at the vet’s office the next morning saying how sorry we were that we were not there to comfort him during his last moments here on earth.

    The decision to put an old pet down is indeed a gut wrenching time, but losing one that is healthy and full of life so suddenly is something I am having trouble dealing with. And being a thousand miles away when it happened is something I feel so guilty about.

    I wish I could tell him:
    “Ajay, I am so sorry I was not there when you died. I hope you were not scared.”
    “Ajay, I miss you so much.”
    “Ajay, you are my buddy, and will always be my buddy.”
    “Ajay, I hope you are now in a happy place, free from your anxiety, free from your scratching, and are playing with a lot of other dogs and chasing a million squirrels.”

    We get his ashes this weekend and plan to spread them around various favorite parts of our property, and keeping a portion to take with us wherever we may live in the future.

    I know that time heals all wounds. But I know this wound is large.

  5. Karen Newman says:

    I lost my precious boxer baby Ronnie on the 18/3/13 to cancer. He was just 12 days past his 6th birthday. We first found out he had cancer when he had just turned 3. The tumor was supposed to have been successfully removed but it came back 1 year later. We were told it was in his glands and even with chemo we could only expect 3-6 months but he lived for 2 more years. I cant say i feel grateful for the extra time i got to spend with him because i fell deprived. He was my world and its killing me inside, I cry all the time and feel so depressed. He was the most loving funny and beautiful boy in the world and he was taken from me. I have now gone and rescued a little boxer who has had a terrible start in life, she has been neglected. I thought this would make me feel better, and she is a lovely pup, but all honestly its made me feel worse. I know this little girl needs a lovely home, but all i want is my boy back. He is on my mind every second to the point its un-healthy, i just dont think i will ever get over this.

  6. Sandy says:

    I have, had, two dogs. I am a married woman with three beautiful children. We got our first dog, Aggie, a Westie five years ago when my youngest was 2 years old. We moved out to the country when Aggie was just one. She loved it out here. We were immediately warned about the danger of coyotes. We always took precautions, never letting her out alone at or after sunset, or before sunrise which was quite a pain in the wintertime but we endured. We got aggie because she was little and relatively clean. A year ago, Harriet came into our lives. She was a stray BEARDED COLLIE! She is completely the opposidte of Aggie – huge and hairy!! The two dogs loved each other and played often! This past Monday, Aggie enjoyed basking in the sun on our driveway. It was a beautiful day. Aggie loves being outside. My husband grilled at 6pm on our deck and doesn’t recall seeing Aggie. We ate dinner at 7pm. A little before 9pm we didn’t see Aggie anywhere. The neighborhood joined in on our search in the dark with flashlights. It has been two days and we know in our hearts that Aggie was taken by coyotes. She was only 13 lbs. We have many acres and our house borders on the woods. I am beyond consoling. I can’t stop crying. I am haunted by Aggie’s last moments, and the fact that I didn’t let her inside. I was home all day Monday as was my husband. My kids seem to be more upset that I am so sad, than the fact that Aggie is gone. I was the primary caregiver and Aggie slept with my husband and I nuzzling with me. Its been two days now, and my husband is getting annoyed with me. He reminded me this morning that it wasn’t a kid, it was just a dog. I can’t stop crying. I realized there have are far greater losses…but I can’t stop. What is wrong with me and what should I tell my kids? I stormed through the woods with a golf club in hand this morning. I have 5 acres as do my 30+neighbors. Everywhere I turn I see my sweet Aggie. Is it harmful for my children 8, 10, 12 to see my so upset. I can’t stop crying and my husband is getting mad at me. Please help. Sandy :(

  7. Darlene says:

    I am glad to find this website. It has been so painful since the death of my beloved dog Saturday morning. I had her for almost fifteen years. I have never had a dog with such a wonderful loving temperament. She was my friend, truly my companion. I have never had the the death of a pet to affect me so. It is so painful. They are not meant to live forever and I treasure the years I had with her. But it does not lessen this immediate huge sense of loss in my life. I know letting her go was the best thing for her, but I’d give anything to hold her one more time.

  8. Evelyn says:

    My husband ran over our dog this morning by mistake. He was only a year and a half old. I feel so guilty because we moved out to the country and we were letting him run around free outside, which he loved…but I wish I would have been more dilagent about getting him inside or having something in place outside for him that would be safer for him. I miss him so much and am so torn up inside over this. I feel like old age would bring me some comfort, but the fact that he was so young just makes it that much harder. The letter I wrote to my boy Petey is on my blog.

    http://cosmidestnadventure.blogspot.com/2013_03_01_archive.html

  9. Deb Davis says:

    We just learned Sat our 6 year old Golden has Osteosarcomia. There is only the hope of a year survival time if we opt to amputate her leg. I know this type of cancer is very painful and cannot imagine putting her through that surgery. So we will cherish her for the time we have left, it is the most gut wrenching decision ever! Thank you for your blog, I will be thinking of her waiting for me, that’s really such a great thought !

  10. Laurie says:

    Thank you for sharing about your pet’s death. My heart breaks for you; I know how hard it is to survive this type of loss. It’s awful.

  11. Daina Eislers says:

    Jen, Oct. 2012
    Is the burden in your heart a bit better now? Two days ago I put my beloved Callie cat down too, and like you I question myself. I miss her terribly and cry all the time, and feel like I am surrounded by a grey shroud. It is an atrocious time.

  12. chassity says:

    i just lost my dog she was a mixed breed she was showing all the sighns of parvo she started getting sick sat morning by sunday i knew that she was gonna die i brought her to the vet they said it was gonna be about 800 dollars for her to stay there so i worked out a plan where i can treat her from home well im sad to say we didnt make it home with her she died in my arms on the way home from the vet and i dont think ill ever get over it she was my best friend and a good dog she was only 7 months old and i cant stop crying every time someone says her name or i think of her or i see something that belonged to her i just want to curl up and cry this isnt fun at all i hate this feeling

  13. Kyle says:

    I feel like I am at the lowest point in my life. My 12 year old Maltese, chuckle was my best friend. He was always there for me, just his presence could make me feel happy and relaxed. 4 days ago he was jumping around and barking and running in the yard…then all of a sudden he was lethargic and limp. We took him to our vet who said his immune system was attacking his red blood cells, and the little guy needed an immediate blood transfusion. We rushed him to the emergency vet who did the procedure without even taking to us and finding out his medical history (he was epileptic, but it was under control). He pulled through and things were looking good, but suddenly he took a turn and a blood clot went into his brain…the vet through so much science verbiage at us it was difficult to know what was even happening, but when I saw him I knew it was over. He died in my moms arms before they could even give him the needle. It’s so awful, I just feel like I was punched in the gut, my friend since 4th grade (I’m now 23) is gone and I hate it.

  14. Ranjini says:

    My husband and I lost our only child, Moon, our 2 and a 1/2 years old English Cocker Spaniel beauty, 10 days ago – on 04 Nov 12. She fell sick on 1st nov and was gone on 4th Nov. We didnt get much reaction time, and not sure if the vet gave her the right medicines. Our vet hadn’t given us any notice on her death, and she died just all of a sudden. I am not able to get out of the denial stage, i am not able to sleep and i wake up with a heavy head with no will to get up and start the day. My family doesn’t really understand the pain that i’m experiencing till now. Only my husband and I know what we are going through. Each and every response,reaction , expression of her face..are crossing my mind all the time, and i feel like she is watching us over. I’ m so so sorry Moon…u loved your life so much and loved ur mommy and daddy so much and wanted to be with them all the time, and i couldn’t give you a longer life. We love u more than anything else in this world. Your selflessness in giving us love has left us blank about our future lives without you baby…hope you are happier than you were with us..wherever you are my baby…my Moon…mun mun

  15. Laurie says:

    Dear Nancy,

    I’m sorry you lost your husband and your cat in such a short time period. It’s so difficult saying good-bye to our loved ones. I’m glad you’re sharing your home with other creatures who need it – those new cats will be so grateful to be with you!

    I think you can still honour Sparky, even though new cats have moved in. You’ll always have Sparky in your heart, mind, and soul — and you’re spreading your love to other cats. I think Sparky would approve wholeheartedly. After all, you’re taking care of his kin — and he knows he’ll always be number one in your heart.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  16. Nancy Sleeth says:

    On August 9, my husband passed away. On November 9th we had to put our beloved Sparky to sleep. Sparky was an 18 1/2 year old tabby cat we got from the Humane Society when he was 7 months old. He always slept with me and loved playing with our daughter. He was harness trained and spent many hours outside with us. I am now going through all the stages of grief again and just don’t know how many times I can cope with this. I have been offerred 2 2yr. old cats all fixed, declawed, shots etc. free as the man wants them to go to a good home where they will have lots of love as he has started his own business and not home much. I feel guilty not honouring Sparky longer, but they are available now and I know I need their comfort.

  17. Dayne says:

    Thank you for this article. I’ve lost a few of my animal family members before, but I’m having a terrible time dealing with the recent loss of my cat. Tigger was 16 1/2 years old and I’ve had him since I was 5 years old. He was my very best friend and I love him more than anyone or anything. He passed away at our home on 11/7 from old age. He wasn’t sick, but had been sleeping more and acting very tired. Right now, I don’t feel like I’ll ever be okay again.

  18. Mona Niño says:

    We lost our precious Bailey, a Yorkiepoo, who we only had for 2 years. Bailey was our little girl perfect in every way. My husband and I are grieving her and having a hard time with it. She loved being free but she died tragically in front of me. Please pray for me and I will pray for your loss.

  19. James says:

    I have what I think is the best dog in the world. Lucky, she is a 13 yr old Sheltie-Collie mix and currently she has congestive heart failure and her kidneys are shutting down. I am going to have to let her go but it is soo hard to think of my life without her. I got her from the humane society when I moved to Nashville. She was living with a couple in an apartment that could not keep her because it was against their contract and so they brought her in. She had some puppies but they were never found. From the moment I saw her I fell in love, she is so sweet! For the last 12 years she has been there when I had great days (when I met and married my wife) and through the worst days of my life (my dad passing away). She is so loving and would do everything she could to make me happy and now I can see the pain she is in and it KILLS me. I have cried more than enough and I just don’t know what’s going to happen when she is actually gone. We have another pup, Lucey, and she can see that Lucky is not doing well and she has began to grieve. I feel so sick that I am about to lose my best friend and and I am concerned for Lucey and how it will affect her once Lucky passes on to be with my dad. Have any of you that have lost a beloved pet actually gone in and stayed while they were put down? I am considering it as I want to be the last one she sees before she goes to heaven but then I think that it will pain me to see her drift off and not wake up again. Thank you in advance for your replies…. I Love you Lucky Bull!!!!!!!!!

  20. judith irvine says:

    Just reading all thoes story it is starting to help me. Just today Nov 3/0212 we had to put our dog down hector he was 12yrs old. Hector is a westie white. It all started with a bad cough,took him to vet had to leave him over night. Next day the vet phone and said he had tumours and he only had two weeks,but he lasted another two months. Hector was such a great dog part of the family. He would all ways meet us at the door when we came home. One thing he didn’t like us going out,we had put a lot of things up. Right now this is very hard for me too write and it is going to take time to get over it. I will miss Hector every day. I keep looking for him.

  21. Mark says:

    Unfortunately we had to let go of our 11 year old springer spaniel Roxi a few days ago. We got her when i was going through an extremely bad run of events in my life, when every day seemed to bring more heartache onto the family. My loving wife decided to drag me along to see Roxi to try and to get me out of the house and get me back to full health. Well the minute I walked through that door to see her, she bounded round the corner and jumped up on me. Love at first sight, I couldnt stop smiling “When can we take her” I asked the lady.”Now” was her reply. Within weeks i was back at work and probably the happiest i had been for a year. I have been dreading this day all year but Hopefully I have helped you now Roxie, as much as you have helped me.I know you will be happy once more doing doggy circles in heaven. Thank you my loyal companion. Till we meet again xxx

  22. Jen says:

    I just put my kitty down yesterday. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. She was sick on the inside, but acted and looked fine on the outside. I always question myself if I did the right thing or not. I feel like I let her down. I miss her so much. She was the most cuddly cat,who NEVER left my side. She was the first thing I saw in the morning and the last when I went to bed at night. I am just heartbroken. I don’t have any children of my own…just my kitties. I still have her sister, but she wants no part of me. All I want to do is grab and hold and pet and kiss her, and she wants no part of it, which makes this even harder. I want to show her love, and she just runs away from me. Should have I tried everything in my power to save her? Does she hate me? Will I see her again? Is she happy? Will this hurt ever go away?

  23. Paula Wells says:

    to all of you who have lost your pet. We lost Duchess our beloved dog who we had for over 12 yrs. she died of heart failure Aug 18-12. I still miss her & at times I think of her & dream of her. I have prayed & cried & I do believe the Lord takes our pets to Him. I am very sorry for all your losses, I hurt with you. We now have Lucy, that we got at the pound. She is not Duchess, another dog will not take Duchess’s place but Lucy is filling that void & she needed love & a home. Let yourself grieve you have lost a “loved” one. Remember you are only human & we all make mistakes,I pray your hearts will be healed from your lost. God bless you & please check your local pound, there are a lot of animals that need our love. Paula

  24. Britney says:

    I lost my precious sweet innocent 9 year old pug, Andy, October 12,2012. He was attacked and killed in my 6foot high fenced in back yard. He was outside literally less than5 minutes. The images are haunting me, I’m sobbing uncontrollably and just want the pain to stop. I’ve never felt a hurting pain like this one before. Can someone who has had their baby taken from them offer me a few words of advice to get me through this? I just want to get through this so I can look back and not be haunted, but comforted on the fact I had him as long as I did. I’m just not ready to be optimistic yet. I’m still wanting to be angry and sad and mad. Anything would help as long as its a step forward and nothing hateful or mean. Thank you to anyone taking the time to read and respond. Xoxo

  25. lucy says:

    I caused my beloved cat’s death because I didn’t give him his antibiotics for renal failure. I just want to die and be with him now. I can’t stand myself for what I did.

    I tried to save him with liquids, we didn’t really know if he had an infection as the doc did not do a blood test for that. He supposedly had renal failure with very high numbers, but that renal failure could have been form an infection!

    I asked to the antibiotics myself as the doctor did not offer it. Can you believe this? Then I thought the antibiotics might harm his kidney’s even more, so did not give them.

    He seemed to rally on the liquids at first, but then went downhill. At the end they think he died of an underlying infection. Why did the vet not know he had an infection until he died? And how can I live with myself? I am just beside myself over this horrifying outcome for my dear little pet.

  26. Sarah says:

    I would just like to add a follow up on my story, time does help so much, at first it is all u think about. Every morning I awoke and the first thing I thought was Shadow is gone but it is 3 weeks today and I am still sad and of course miss him so much but have accepted that he is now gone and in heaven waiting for me. Things my family and I did was make photo albems of Shadow and we all have him as our cover pic on our computers, it just helps I don’t know why. I also found that talking about him helped both my family and me and not keep it bottoled up. At first I couldn’t even consider ever getting another dog but now I understand that Shadow would not want us to live in the past and to move on. God made us to take chances and give our heart and love each other and our pets not to just never love another dog because of the loss of one that was beloved. Yes it will be a big chance but for the life and love that my Shadow gave me I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I remember him now as he was healthy and happy his whole life execpt the last couple of months that he was sick. I refuse to feel any guilt as I know I took the best of care of him and loved him fiercly. I hope this helps other people that have lost their pets

  27. Sheila says:

    My 18 yr old kitty is being put to sleep tomorrow morning and I feel so numb and so sad

    Bo has been my companion and such a great handsome orange tabby kitty for the last 18 yrs it is hard to say goodbye.

    His kidney’s have failed and he is blind now, he is suffering badly and I know I am doing the right thing but I can’t imagine my life without him

    I am trying to remember all of the good and crazy times, I have had him since he was 12 weeks old and I keep telling myself logically I am doing the right thing since he is in so much pain but my heart
    hurts and I don’t know how to stop it from hurting

    Thanks fr letting me express my sorrow

  28. Alex says:

    My miniature poodle died sadly two weeks ago, he lived an incredible life, the best life a dog can ask for and certainly the best companion a person could ever have had, its so painful realizing that this individual is forever gone and that there will never be anyone like him again. For 9 years he led a near perfect life with a near perfect health, at least as much as we all witnessed, even on the last day before he got gravely ill he still had the energy of a newborn puppy and barely showed any signs of slowing down. He fell ill suddenly under circumstances that may never be 100% clear, and in a 48 hour time period he was in and out of the hospital 3 times, they did what they needed, drugged him heavily, and as he began showing slow but sure signs of improvement things went downhill from there and upon his final visit to the hospital he died of internal bleeding.

    The most painful part for me that had me in tears for the first time in a long while is the fact that all he ever did was give and receive love his whole life, and that he absolutely did not deserve the violent and painful ending he endured for 2 days. For the first couple of days following his passing, I could not come to terms with why mother nature had to be so cruel to even its purest of inhabitants and souls, and began to blindly question whether his beautiful life was really all worth it if it meant such an horrible fate, one cannot possibly take a moment to clearly reflect on his/her life when in such agony. The most difficult part for me was to prepare mentally and emotionally for his passing before it happened, upon realizing that his condition took a sharp turn for the worse I had already felt that he probably wouldnt make it without a great miracle, and as my brother and I gently carried him into our parents car, I leaned in to say my goodbyes and then continued to look into the window at him as his eyes locked with mine until the car drove away and out of sight. Watching him suffer for two days like that was painful, but I maintained my faith in his recovery while he was showing signs for it, but when things worsened and reality appeared to severely outweigh my faith and hope, I had to make the tough decision to not resist or get deseparate in the hopes of fulfilling my wishes and subsequently sinking myself into a deep depression, after all this is the way of the world, everyone dies. At that moment, the main thing I wanted for him was to not suffer anymore. Of course nobody in my family, myself included, could sleep peacefully that night, but the following day I prepared a family BBQ and we ate and drank to his memory.

    I’ve been able to move on with my life, of course not a day goes by without me thinking about him, and every time I get home I still find myself anticipating him to come and greet me at the door, or have him lay on me when I take my nap on the couch, or see him follow my mom everywhere she goes. Slowly but surely I know that the memory of his agony will fade and I will only remember him for the beauty that he was, and I know that this is what he would like to have seen from everyone of us, to see us all live our lives to the fullest. Rest in peace Lucky.

  29. Greg says:

    Thank you all for your experiences. They really help. Duncan was the best friend I had in life, a 12 year-old yellow Lab who still thought he was 5. Three days ago we made the difficult decision to let him go after battling cancer for 18 months. It hardly seemed to affect him at all until two days before the end. He had trouble getting up without my help and I could tell by the heavy panting and the look in his eyes that he was in pain. We took him to the vet that day and he had trouble moving his back legs, and after returning to the exam room following x-rays, he lay on the floor and didn’t want to move, even when offered the promise of ice cream, his favorite. We had to make the painful decision so suddenly, and since then I can’t stop the tears, even as I write this. I can’t believe that my friend won’t wake me up anymore with his mouth full of socks or demand I supply him with chewsticks during the most interesting part of a movie, or chase a frisbee across a field and snatch it in his mouth. We had a private cremation and plan on scattering some of his ashes on his favorite playspots when we receive. I hope this will somehow lead to healing. Thanks for letting me vent.

  30. Sarah says:

    My sweet little silkie terrier Shadow died yesterday evening, he was diagnosed with an enlarged heart and we had him on medicine and thought he would be okay. I got home from work and could see how sick he had gotten so my 15 year old daughter and me was on the way to the vet and we didn’t get 5 miles down the road and he died in her lap. It was horriable and she was screaming and I pulled over and even tried to do cpr on him but he was just gone. He was only 10 years old. I just don’t know how I will be able to go on without him. My husband and all three of my children are devistated and I just can’t stop crying. You see his name said it all he was my little shadow every step I took he was right there beside me. We never went anywhere without him he even went with us on vacation. How am I ever going to get over this???

  31. Walt H says:

    Buck was the best dog I ever had. He was a big Golden Retriever and as playful at age nine (when he died) as he was when I got him, at about age 2.
    Buck was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and I elected to euthanize him so as to avoid further suffering for my friend.
    It was one hell of a tough choice; a letter from the veterinarian has helped me a great deal.
    I got Buck’s ashes today, and it is hard for me to believe that that is all I’ll ever see of my beautiful boy again.
    I just wish that I could hold him one more time.

  32. Stacey says:

    Hi,
    On Sunday, at 5:15pm, my little Puppy-Girl, Nancy died in my arms. In November she’d have turned 13. She was so precious to me, and she suffered long and hard before her passing. I’m trying to cope, but I’m not doing a good job of it. The grief is tearing me up inside. I’ve looked for understanding and support and found none. People seem to dismiss it, like I shouldn’t be mourning…she was just a dog. That attitude makes it even harder for me. I also have nothing of her’s to hold onto…nothing tangible – no blanket, no toy, nothing. She was buried with her blanket, and she didn’t have toys because she no longer played as she once had. The cataracts made it difficult for her to see properly. I know where she’s buried – and I want to fetch her, hold her, talk to her…she was always so eager to do what I wanted that I think that maybe, if I make her see that I’m not OK with her death, she’ll return. It’s stupid, it’s irrational, it makes no sense…I know this. I can’t let go.

    Scott…I get it. My sincerest (I mean that by the way) sympathies to you and your wife.

    In fact, my sincerest sympathies to everyone who has lost an animal. Isn’t it weird, wonderful, amazing, special, heartwarming, incredible, awesome, and miraculous? This bond that we can share with animals? Think about it, in their natural habitat and lives they don’t do the things that they do when they’re with us. They don’t grab each other, hug each other, kiss each other…but we grab them, hug them, kiss them, tease them, play with them, LOVE them…and they understand and respond in kind.

    My heart goes out to each of you who are feeling the pain and loss that I’m feeling right now. Together we can know that we’re not pariahs, that what we feel is REAL! We ARE NOT ridiculous!

  33. Bryce says:

    I had a three year old dog,well she started having seizures last night, they started around 9pm. My dad had to lay downstairs with her. she started looking her balance. From 9 last night to 10 ish maybe a little earlier she had 17 seizures. My dad took her for a shot over the mountain from where i live. it was about 10:30 when my gram and my dad took her back over the moutain. there was nothing they could do so they had to put her down. it’s sad and to think she was only three.
    Sadie 12/24/08-8/19/12

  34. Caroline wilkes says:

    To the owner of ‘lucky’ the 3 legged cat…
    Im so sorry for your loss of lucky, but he was indeed ‘lucky’ to have an owner who cared enough to end his suffering! Thoughts are with you

  35. Caroline wilkes says:

    Hi Scott firstly im so sorry for the loss of Beau but as hard as i know it is, plz don’t feel any guilt! As loving pet owners we all have to make very hard decisions and it is the ultimate, selfless kindest action you can ever do for your wonderful Beau and that was to end his pain and suffering! He’s happy now and i truly believe our beloved pets spirits stay with us forever! You have done the right thing by beau it would have been cruel and selfish to watch him suffer, just because you couldn’t bare to let him go, so when you think of him cry a little, laugh a little and when you get his ashes just try and remember he loved you all too and he’ll be with you forever! God bless little Beau and your loving family

  36. Scott says:

    I recently had to put to sleep my 12 plus year old tea cup pom. We had him since he was 7 weeks old. We recently had him to the vet and was sruggling but the next day he was great again. I recieved a call from my wife and she indicated she was back at the vet with Beau. The vet gaves us his best ideas but was stunned at his turn in health. Unsure what to do we made a decesion to have him put to sleep. My wife and daughter could not stay but I did. I talked to him for 10 minutes, how do you say I luv ya in 10 minutes? Many ways I found out. I was devastated I drove home and hung my wife and daughter but the house feels empty. This was August 15, 2012 and I find myself looking at his bowls and blanket and bed and trying to recall the fun times we have had. The quietness and his nightime routines are gone forever.. My wife is struggling even more. She broke down today in my arms as my daughter headed back to college. I tried to fill time discussing this and took her for icecream, wanna Beaus favorite treats. Many pictures have been looked at but only hoping things get better in time. We feel guilt, anger, and more importanly loneliness. The house is to quite..Please advise as our little guy meant the world to us.. I did have a private cremation and an urn but have not recieved his remains yet. My wife and I feel that when I have that and bring him home more healing will occur. She feels like we left him there to pass, once again guilt.. Thanks for letting me express my feeling and sorrow and look forward to less grief..

  37. living in silence today--deep sadness says:

    My gentle, sweet, loving, 3 legged cat passed away last night. His name is Lucky. He was diagnosed with a stomach tumor 3 weeks ago. It was very aggressive. As always, he looked me in the eyes and offered his calming, deep chested purr. His selfless love was a daily gift to me. The great depth of our bond gave me smiles, joy and strength.
    I am so proud of you. Thank you, Lucky.

  38. Caroline wilkes says:

    Hi ‘grief stricken’ im so sorry for the loss of ghosty! Sounds a beautiful kitty! I lost my kitty on the 6th of June he was run over, tinky was his name 14yr old tabby that adopted us rather like your ghosty! He was beautiful too. Its so hard isn’t it hun? But honestly the pain gets a little easier as the time goes by! I still cry for my first cat over 30 yrs ago, but that’s because we cared and loved them so much!! You have to grieve to enable the healing process to start and soon you’ll be able to think of ghosty with a smile and just a few tears but there’s no rush huni everyone is different! Hold his pictures close and talk to him. He’s at peace now no more pain he’s probably lying in the shade under a big old tree with my tinky and all my other kitties that have passed over the yrs or chasing butterflies but he’ll hear you when you speak to him! Sending you my love and thinking of you Caroline xx

  39. Caroline wilkes says:

    Shannon im so sorry for your loss of your puppy! I know it hurts so much losing an animal you love with all your heart I’ve been there so many times huni and id like to say it gets easier, but it doesn’t!
    Im also glad you were able to be with maia when she went to sleep, i was with all my animals too its so comforting to know, that they know your there with them to the end. what you need to remember huni is she was suffering and you loved her so much that you did the kindest thing possible and helped take away her pain-she will know why you did this, she will understand and love you even more!! Its so hard for you because you miss her but your such a lovely kind person not to allow her to suffer and you tried so hard to help her didn’t you, so you never need to feel guilty EVER!!!
    you were lucky to have had her but she was even luckier to have had you as her mom!!
    In time, tears won’t flow so often, they’ll still flow, mine still do too, but you’ll remember happier times with laughter and you ll feel at peace because maia is at peace!!
    Let yourself grieve huni, its natural and healing in a strange way, and allow yourself to think of getting another pup, in maia s memory as you’ll be able to tell the new pup all about your beautiful maia and that helps so much too!!
    Take care huni much love and im thinking of you. Caroline xx

  40. Grief-stricken says:

    I had to have my gorgeous black cat ghosty euthanised yesterday morning. He had quickly developed a large tumour in his stomach (it had grown rapidly over a course of weeks) and I am absolutely devastated.

    He was the most loving friendly animal I have ever come across who loved to have his belly scratched, would lie in his back and drool cos he was so relaxed!!

    I miss him so much and have spent the whole day sobbing, Inbetween looking at pictures and still have all his things, i think I’ll hold onto them for a bit longer, not ready to let go just yet.

    We never adopted ghosty, he just turned up at out door one cold, wet november evening 9 years ago and never left!!! He loved to go out during the day, but always came back to us at night. Never new how old he was, think he was maybe 4 or 5 when he moved in, wet, bedraggled and covered in fleas. He will always be close to my heart and I will never stop loving him.

  41. Shannon o says:

    I feel that I need to share my story. My fiancé and I had a 5 month old English mastiff girl. She was the center of our world. Everyone who met her fell in love immediately. One day Maia started acting lethargic and down in the dumps. He next morning she collapsed and couldn’t stand or walk. She had gone to the vet over the next two days two times and the vet couldn’t find a single thing wrong. She then was taken to he emergency vet number one where she stayed. She could not sit up stand walk or hold her head up. We went to a neuro specialist because nobody there knew either. They diagnosed her with myasthenia gravis. A neuro muscular disease. They said her prognosis was grave and even with 7000 dollars in treatment se probably wouldn’t recover. Since she was shaking constantly and wouldn’t eat or drink due to mega esophagus and was limp with no muscle tone we decided to euthanize. I held her in my arms and she lifted her head and put it on my shoulders while it happened. I whispered in er ear that we love her and called her nicknames we always used. I felt her heart stop. It was helpful to be holding her. This was 3 days ago and I haven’t stopped crying. My heart is totally broken. Im afraid I’ll never feel better. I miss my moosie moose Maia. Baby puppy.

  42. Laurie says:

    Dear Teresa,

    I’m so sorry that your cat died, and that you feel so much guilt about leaving her. You have to remember you didn’t do anything wrong – when you left your cat, you didn’t know that she was on the brink of kidney failure! The veterinarian said not to worry, that there was nothing to worry about.

    Your cat may have ended up that way, even if you hadn’t left her. She was at the end of her life – she was 19 years old – and her kidneys couldn’t have lasted forever. Even if you were with her that week, her life may not have gone on longer. The person who was watching her didn’t know that her kidneys were failing. She probably just thought your cat wasn’t eating much for other reasons – maybe it was the way she was before, or maybe she was missing you.

    I’m not defending the person who watched her. It’s totally understandable that you feel anger and disappointment, because she was supposed to be taking care of your cat! I’m just trying to say that maybe this was the natural end of your cat’s kidneys and life, no matter who was taking care of her.

    I hope you’re able to accept her death, and let her go. I hope you can remember her with love and joy, not pain and sadness. I hope you know that your cat is in a better place because she’s not suffering anymore. She’s at peace – maybe even chasing mice and strings, and enjoying lots of cat treats!

    For me, the best way to cope with a pet’s death is to picture her happier and healthier on the other side than she ever was on earth.

    And, I always find a new cat or dog to love. I will never forget the dogs and cats I loved and lost, but I will always have a place in my home for an animal who needs love.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  43. Stephanie Thomas says:

    Thank you so much Laurie. I really appreciate your good advice and kind words. Your website is amazing and very comforting to all of us.

  44. Laurie says:

    Dear Stephanie,

    What a terrible experience – I am so sorry for you and your boys. Coping with your pet’s death is difficult at any time, but it’s even worse when you feel responsible.

    It’s important to remember that it was an ACCIDENT. You would never hurt your cat – you didn’t do anything wrong! Your poor kitty was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s tragic and heartbreaking, and it will take time to heal from the experience.

    I have written about coping with guilt when you feel you caused your pet’s death — that articles has over 100 comments, because we all feel guilty about our pets dying! I know running over your cat is much more difficult to deal with than having to put your pet to sleep – there’s more guilt and responsibility.

    I hope this article helps.

    When You Caused Your Pet’s Death

    Please keep reminding yourself that your cat was in the wrong place at the wrong time. You couldn’t have done anything to prevent the accident – it wasn’t in your control.

    I also wrote an article on helping kids cope with their pet’s death:

    Helping Kids Cope With Pet Loss

    I hope this helps – I wish I could do more! If you and your kids are overwhelmed with grief and guilt, please talk to a counselor. Even if you don’t feel overwhelmed, maybe you should have a session with someone, to process your feelings?

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  45. Teresa says:

    My cat Forrest, was the best cat in the world. I had her for 19 years and she was my only pet. She started getting sick in February when she was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. She had lost a little weight, but was still eating and enjoying life. In June she was losing weight again and was down to 5 pounds- not eating much. One of her kidney tests was elevated, but the doctor said not to worry too much. I went away for a week in July and when I returned she could barely walk, was blind, and was not eating at all.

    I took her to the vet and she was on IV’s for 2 days, but he said she was in end stage kidney failure and there was nothing left to do.

    I have such intense guilt for leaving her when she was sick, but I didn’t know. She seemed okay when I left.

    I have so much anger towards the person who was watching her. She told me that my cat didn’t seem to be eating much, but she never made me understand that she was dying. I could have come home and taken her to the vet.

    I keep thinking that it would have made a difference but I do not know because I am not a doctor. She continued to worsen when I took her to the vet when I got home but would a day earlier have made a difference?

    In the end, she would only walk one or two steps before lying down. I would put her in the litter box since she was still using it and she would just lay down. She didn’t react at all to any affection from me and seemed to be suffering so much.

    It has been three weeks and I can’t stand being at my house because it is so empty. I can’t sleep and I can’t stop crying.

    I have never felt this much heartache and pain.

    If you could help me out I would really appreciate it. I am so sad.

  46. Stephanie Thomas says:

    Hello, I am having a hard time dealing with the loss of my pet cat. I had her for 16 years and she was the best cat ever. I recently came home from work and ran her over on the drive way. She was the color white, the same as my driveway and she blended in. I did not see her, the sun was bright and by the time I realized what happened I tried to back my car up but she was already dead. My two boys were with me in the car and did not see it but are completely devastated just like I am. I can’t get the vision of my poor cat out of my head and I feel totally responsible for her death. I know it was an accident, but I can’t stop from blaming myself. How do I move on and not have that vision of her in my head every second? Thanks for your help.

  47. Laurie says:

    Dear Tina,

    Thank you so much for your comment, and for coming back a year after you said good-bye to Connor. I’m so glad you found this article helpful.

    And, I hope my 2 year old terrier lives to be as old as Connor! It’s really, really hot in Vancouver right now, and my dog is wilting in the heat. It’s like she’s 10, not 2! So every day I’m reminded that she won’t be with us forever, and I cherish every minute. Your experience reminds me how precious life is.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  48. Tina says:

    Dear Laurie, I want to say thank you for your wonderful website, and to tell you that I first left my very sad message 1 year ago today.I had Connor, my precious golden retriever put to sleep, just 7 weeks off his 15th birthday. Well,where has that year gone. I still think about him every single day, I haven’t replaced him with another dog, I don’t think I ever will.I am so glad I found your site, it helped me a great deal to cope with my loss, god bless. Tina from South Wales UK.x

  49. Maitha says:

    29-7-12 I lost the love of my life junior
    Im still in shock and devestated about her loss
    I love you princess and I will never forget you

  50. Valerie says:

    Matt, you made me cry, I know how you feel but you put it into words so perfectly, ” I will forever love him for allowing me to become so close.” I miss my Myah everyday, it does get easier but I still do cry for her, she allowed me to be so close, like no human ever could and I never realized what exactly it was until you said it, thank you, god bless

  51. Caroline wilkes says:

    God bless you my darlings …tinky, sweepy , sooty, misty, e.t, tiger, o’malley, duchess , mini, minou, bruno , Peggy, lizzie, daisy, and riggs mommy and daddy misses each and everyone of you so much…1974 -2012 xxxxxxxxxxxxx will never forget any of you…ever!!

  52. Caroline wilkes says:

    Aww im so sorry to hear about all your losses everyone :'( phyllis9, George and Matt f. I know what a difficult time it is for each of you and i still cry for my tinky too!! The pain of losing our ‘best friend’ is indescribable and sometimes other ppls words are no comfort to begin with as its still so raw, so this may not help you just at the moment but please remember you’re not alone! So much is said about time being a great healer, which deep down we know is true, but nothing really helps at this precise moment in time does it :-( my only way of coping is remembering my tinky was suffering and now he is at peace with his brothers and sisters and newly found friends and id like to think of them all at the ‘rainbow bridge’…where the sun never stops shining and they play in the grass chasing butterflies or they all curl up together under the shade of a tree for a nap. Nothing will ever hurt them again and they’re waiting…for me, one day to join them…but they’re very happy and safe….i have to believe this to get through and i do!!! I close my eyes and i imagine the scene and i see them all playing… cats, dogs, rabbits, pet rats etc altogether…. i call their names and they stop at the bridge to look and they see my face and i see them…i tell them i love them and that they look wonderful playing together…then they’re gone…back to the long grass having fun!! :-)
    Im not mad…its how i cope and it helps me right now! When you’re ready, you try n imagine the scene too…its actually very comforting :-):-):-) love to you all phyllis9 George and Matt f xxx keep in touch plz xxx

  53. matt f says:

    My 7 year old bulldog Rambo died yesterday. He had battled many health issues over the years. He had his spleen removed after it wrapped around his pancras last october. He survived the surgery and recovered fully for a few months before becoming very weak. He was an uncondtional best friend who’s only fault was maybe loving me too much. It is hard to imagine how I will move on without him. He was such an integral part of our lives and daily happiness. I hope that one day I can truly miss him for the memories and not miss him for selfish reasons.

    He seemed to hold on yesterday until I could be with him and he died in my arms of heart failure. I’ve never been so close to an animal and I will forever love him for allowing me to become so close.

  54. george says:

    smudge had too be put too sleep – he was 20 years old and my mate. he loved my wife but allways came to me. He was suffering – took himto vets.Injection,bought home, dug his grave buried Him in a shroud. goy a purple lavender plant too put on his grave, gonna cry tommorrow when I plant it.

  55. phyllis9 says:

    I had my 14 1/2 year old rhodesian ridgeback who was 90# put to sleep yesterday. I cannot hardly breathe, the lump in my throat is continual. He could no longer get up even with meds without pain or exhaustion. I cannot stand not having him as he was my last pet and missing his love and my caring for him is unbearable. Sobbing uncontrollable at times.

  56. Caroline wilkes says:

    My dear pamela Chan, Thankyou so much for your kind words. I will write a memorial for him thank you very much for the link. God bless you pamela i was so much in shock yesterday and today im just missing my tinky with all my heart. Thanks again luv Caroline xxx

  57. Pamela Chan says:

    Dear Caroline wilkes
    My heart feel the pain after reading about your cat. I’m feel sad & very sorry to hear that. I can understand the intense pain & grief you are going through now because I lost my deeply loved dog to heart failure unexpectedly on 22 April this year. Just let yourself cry out & mourn for your cat. You will feel slightly better. You will certainlly miss his presence. Only time can slowly heal your pain. Your beloved cat is now resting in peace in heaven & his body is whole again. While mourning for him, you may want to write a memorial about him. Here’s the link where you can put up his memorial:

    http://www.in-memory-of-pets.com

  58. Caroline wilkes says:

    Hi again, i just need to put my thoughts down as its now 03.40 and no ones awake for me to talk too but how do i go to bed when tinky always slept on my leg or across my tummy? Im just so devastated losing my sweet kitty :'( can’t deal with how or why its happened. He was 14 yrs old but still like a kitten!!!! My darling tinky your with sooty and sweep now but you should be still with me! Love you so much tinky and no amount of tears can bring you back otherwise you’d be here! Love you cheeky minky xxxxx

  59. Caroline wilkes says:

    Hi,
    tonight, 6/6/2012 I’ve had to have my beautiful tabby cat, tinky put to sleep. I found him crying in pain on my next door neighbours path apparently he’d been run over but tried to claw his way home! Im devastated and struggling to come to terms with his death as my other cats were put to sleep because of either old age or ill health, but this is different. He was outside suffering but i don’t know for how long :'( until i heard him when i went to put rubbish out
    plz someone say something anything that will help me cos i try to think of him out of pain and at peace but my mind won’t switch off seeing him in agony and calling me to help him. god bless you my little tinky i love and miss you so much and im so so sorry i didn’t come straight away. love and miss you so much xxxxxx

  60. brittany says:

    This was so sad it made me cry i am so sry to hear about ur dog….my thoughts n prayers are with u i kno how u feel….but what was busta sick from?

  61. callie says:

    here’s a story i wrote for my BEST MATE BUSTA

    There i was- just your ordinary pup getting adopted by a kind average family with jodie(the mum) Steve (the dad) callie ( the daughter and my best friend) and dylan (the strange brother) i sat in the car and i heard mum and dad talking i was listening then they said “lets call him busta.” they gave me a cuddle and callie ( who was just a baby) smiled she liked me- the whole family did!
    We got home and i sniffed out my new surroundings it smelt nice and friendly i felt welcome in this new yard. Jodie came out to see me and then turned to steve and said “what if he hurts callie.” what thats not very nice like i would hurt someone as adorable as callie- but dylan now that’s another story! from that moment on i vowed to never hurt callie or the rest of the family in any way what so ever.
    i remember callie’s first birthday she had some friends over and i got the left overs of the party food but then i got a little bit too excited and accidently hit callie with my tail she started to cry i went up to her and licked her to say “I’m sorry.”
    after the party, she was playing with her ball then she lost it and accused me of having it so she stuck her hand in my mouth and down my throat i didn’t mind i just kept my mouth open.
    a few years later (when callie was 4 and 1 month old) a new family member came in the family- Tegan i went up to tegan and sniffed her.
    not long after she was born, we all moved houses to a place that wasn’t as good as a house as the other one when callie turned 6, she was playing in the back yard when suddenly she fell over i came running to her rescue she laughed when i came up to her she really liked it.
    then we moved again to a much better house one day the girls were dancing on a plastic table and i thought that i might join them i put my two front paws on the table and BOOM we all fell through it tegan and myself were alright but callie had 3 cuts on her- one on her back, one on her leg and one on her hand- oh no i had hurt her again! but callie was not crying she was just laughing but she was a bit embarrassed.
    one month before our tenth birthday ( i shared a birthday with Callie) we welcomed another animal a little Labrador puppy- bindi i sniffed her out and ran around i was sooooo happy to have a friend with me so happy that i ripped up my favorite toy.
    i cuddled up to bindi and then ran around like the day would never end i had a friend.
    4 months before my 13th birthday, i suddenly felt sick i didn’t eat and could hardly walk callie came out and started to cry “remember when we got bindi, and how happy you were, make sure you visit me i am going to be lost without my bussy- i don’t know life with out you busta why do you have to go? i will miss you soo much no bussy no don’t be sick don’t leave me i just wish i could hear you bark just 1 more time, i don’t like seeing you like this bussy i mean you are my twin we have something special.”
    then jodie and steve took me for 1 last car ride we went down to a place where 2 kind ladies put a needle in me the pain went away and then i was gone-away from the family and the world.

  62. Jon says:

    I lost my dear Eddie, who was a Jack Russell cross. He was six years old when we had to put him to sleep, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Even though I know it was right the decision for him and my young family with children in the long run, I feel guilt and as if I betrayed him in the days he was really sick, looking at me for help. He was my best friend, our first baby, and adapted amazingly when our 2 children came along. He had a great character and was one of those dogs that really loved snuggling and sitting with people. Although we gave him a great and active life, he was more than just a pet. To me personally who had suffered illness during his life, he always lay by side when I was out of action for weeks, he knew I was hurting and loyally comforted me in my darkest days of recovery. When he got sick it rapidly escalated and he went downhill really fast, I struggled to cope watching him like this and even lost over a stone in weight through the stress of it all. It all came to a head one weekend where by the end he couldn’t eat, drink, stand and couldn’t stop vomiting and urinating in his bed. I knew he didn’t deserve this and I knew it was going to get worse, so I made the decision to euthanize him before his suffering got even worse. Even though my wife and I agreed it was the right thing to do, I am now wracked with guilt and can’t stop thinking maybe I could’ve done more for him, maybe if I did this differently it wouldn’t have happened, maybe I made the wrong decision! We miss him so much, and just the silence in the evenings makes my heart sink, I wake up and hope it was all a bad dream and Eddie will jump into my bed with his tail wagging to greet me like he did every morning for 6 years, but he’s not here, he’s gone forever and I struggle to imagine how I will ever get over losing dear Eddie. Someone mentioned getting another dog but they would never compare to him and I know I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Miss you Eddie, the whole family does, there’s a huge whole left in our lives and I think I will carry around this guilt and feeling of betrayal forever. He adored me, followed me everywhere, sniffed under doors if I was in the room until I let him in. The worst thing I miss is seeing him having fun out in the fields on our evening walks, with his ears flying back as he ran up to me after getting sidetracked by a rabbit or something, I miss his little smiling face and I miss him sleeping next to me in evenings when everyone was in bed and it was just me and him unwinding after a stressful day, :( RIP Eddie x

  63. I came to this site because I’m having the hardest time coping with my 5 yr old English Bulldogs sudden death the saturday that just passed (may 26th,2012) I can’t seem to accept that he’s really gone and I can’t get the picture of him suffering out of my head.. Macho choked on his vomit and couldnt breathe.. his tounge turned purple quickly and he passed out, all of this happened so quickly, my dad gave him CPR and tried pumping his stomach and Macho woke up but he couldnt get up nor catch his breath and after 20 minutes of trying to help him catch his breath his body gave up and that was it…. I feel like I’m never going to be happy again and I just wish there was something more we could have done to save his life… Any tips on how to stop remembering his death and feel releaved that he is in a better place? My heart hurts and I just can’t stop crying.. I can’t eat and I dont want to do anything.. I just want to see my beloved dog again.. :(

  64. Manisha says:

    Thanks that’s really nice but it gets worse my other dog Taylor we had to put him to sleep cause he had a lung infection an he couldn’t breathe but I’m feeling much better now that I no that’s she’s in a better place makes me feel a lot better thanks

  65. Pamela Chan says:

    To Janet
    It’s heartbreaking to hear that you just lost your sweet little darling to heart failure also. I  feel for your loss. My heart is with you.
    I can’t thank you enough for writing to me to give your kind words of comforts & the sharing with me what you know about the situation.  You know, this writing meant much to me during these moments of my grief & guilt over the the loss of my beloved darling. It’s been 34 days since his unexpected departure.  My heart is still feeling the pain that he is no longer around for me to continue to love him.
    I hope that those words of comforts you have given me will be the therapy to your heart & mind too. 

  66. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Manisha,

    You did the right thing! Your poor cat had cancer, and it would only have gotten worse. She would’ve suffered so bad if you had let her live the way she was.

    Even though her body isn’t here with you, her soul and spirit is. She’ll always be alive in your memory — and she isn’t suffering from the awful pain that cancer brings.

    Do you think she’d want you to remember her with love and joy, or guilt and pain?

    Sometimes, when you’re coping with your pet’s death, it helps to remember that your pet would want you to remember her with peace, love, and joy. Accept that your poor cat had cancer and it was her time to go. It’s unfair and sad, but her life was meant to be short and sweet.

    May your cat’s soul rest in peace, and may you one day remember her with love, peace, joy, and acceptance. I bet she’s in a better, happier place.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  67. Manisha says:

    Today I lost my dig Amazon she was a Boxer. I cried a lot and I can’t get I’ve her I need help. She had bone cancer so she had to amputate her leg so she had 3 legs. In her right eye she had cancer caused by her bone cancer and tw cancer from her eye led to her uterus she was bleeding and wasn’t eating for 2 days. She had cancer spots in her abdomen and if we didn’t put her to sleep it would have burst. She’s only 2 and 1/2 years old. If they did surgery the vet said that she wold have probaly died on the vets table. And if she did survive she needed blood because tw cancer had taken all her blood. I’m only 11 and I’m really sad. I lover her so much I will never forget her. Shes very special to me. The first vet that we went to said that it was normal for her to discharge blood. The second said that there was no growth. The third vet was tw one that saw something was wrong with her eye. I need help from someone I’m really upset and sad I can’t stand the thought of her being dead. I just burried her and I can’t think right any more I loved her so much that no words can describe how I feel right now. Please give me advice please.

  68. Becki ward says:

    I lost my Tilly cat today. She had lymphoma. I only had her 3 years after rehoming her. She was the sweetest and most loving friend I could have hoped for. She followed me everywhere I went and was always waiting for me when I got in. She mostly slept on my head or curled up with me. She even followed me into the bathroom for toilet hugs.

    She was a bit on the chubby side and still was a month ago when I noticed one of her pupils was bigger than the other. The vet brushed it off and said it was nothing. 2 weeks later and she had stopped eating. I picked her up and she was as light as a feather. I booked an appointment straight away and the vet was very good. They did tests and X-rays and she was diagnosed with lymphoma and failing kidneys.

    There was nothing that could be done. Tilly continued to follow me around and eat but on Thursday this week it all stopped and she changed. She was obviously fed up, feeling poorly and miserable and I knew it was time. Couldn’t keep her going just for me.. I booked the appointment yesterday and haven’t stopped crying since.

    It was nice to with her at the end, but also so very sad.

    I can’t believe I’ll never see her again. I’m currently not sure what to do with myself. I just want her to jump up on the bed and snuggle under my arm
    Like she used to.

    I hope what they say is true and she is in a better place.

    Miss you with all my heart Tilly.

    Sleep tight

    Love becki xxx

  69. Mica says:

    On Tuesday 22nd of may I lost my amazing one of a kind Lhasa apso baby. He was 3 years old due to be 4 in August. On Sunday 20th of may my baby seemed to lack energy and had a little mucus in his waste. I stayed up all night with him drifting in and out of sleep. The next day I took him to the vets, they said he had a bacteria infection in his stomach and gave him 3 injections, a pain killer, anti inflammatory and anti biotic. Toby seemed perkier and even ate some rice and chicken breast. I took him for a few walks to clear his bowels etc he seemed better! Then his back legs seemed drunk, I picked him up and took him home. Through the course of the night his back legs become less and less responsive, I rang the emergency vet but got told to let him rest for 24 hours. The next morning he was dragging himself around the room with his front two paws, this was heart breaking. We took him back to the vets and they wanted to do X-rays on his spine, they found no damage do we suspect the infection made him paralysed. Letting a 3 year old AMAZING CARING baby be put to sleep was the hardest thing I’ve ever done but I know it’s what he would have wanted. He was my shadow my son my best friend and I would do anything to see him again and be rid of this pain. To anyone going through this too my respect and heart is with you, please keep smiling as our pets would hate to see us sad. This time last week I was cuddling my baby :( rest in peace Toby you were the best dog, bestest friend and company. Can’t wait to meet again and see your cute face light up. Lots of treats walkies tickles and kisses. Love you forever and ever xxxxxxxxxxxx

  70. Darren says:

    today i have lost my best friend, Jaffa.

    he always was so happy to see either my partner or myself. my partner is a Trainee Vet Nurse and Jaffa was a stray brought into her surgery one day after being abandoned by his previous owner at his house, his owner just moved and left him.

    My partner took a picture of him on her phone from the vets to show me him and i fell in love with him right away, and told her to bring him home.

    when he got to our house he was a bit timid at first, wanting to beat any of the other cats or dogs we have that came near him, but he soon settled in and was good. we really dont know what age he was, first of all we were told he could be 6-8 years old, then it could be 12 or older.

    he had been with us about a year last week, but about 9 weeks ago we noticed a large groth beside his nose just below his left eye.. she took him with her to work one day and had a biopsy done as thats what was recommended. results came back inconclussive but strongly suggesting it was a cancerous tumor. at that point one of the vets suggested he might have about 2 weeks and then it would be time for him to leave us.

    but jaffa fought on as he was as tough as old boots, but about 2-3 weeks ago the groth just started to get bigger what seemed day by day until over the last 7-10 days he could hardly breathe through his left nostril. we decided that if he kept being as miserable as he was (he just always wanted to by himself if he wasnt having some food, and sometimes even if he was) we would do the humaine thing and have him out to sleep.

    well today was that unfortunate and sorry day, ive been crying on and off all day but finally poor jaffa left hus mum and dad at 7.00pm for a better life at rainbow bridge where he can play, run and have fun without any pain or suffering anymore.

    even tho we have other animals jaffa and i just seemed to form a very very strong bond together, a lot more than i have with some of the others.

    but as i said today my heart is heavy and i am very miserable and low but now at least we know Jaffa Cake (or mr cakeo) is finally pain and suffering free and hopefully is happy at rainbow bridge.

    i miss you my buddy xxxx

  71. Janet says:

    To Pamela Chan, I feel your loss and understand your pain. I too just lost my sweet little Man of only 11 years to heart failure diagnosed Oct 2011. The journey we have taken to maintain some symblance of quality of life was long, hard and very expensive. The difference between the 2 cases sounds like your Buddy had left sided heart failure and my little man had right sided heart failure. I am a nurse who understands the problem with heart failure, it is terminal and the best you can hope for is to provide some comfort for a while but sadly the disease will win over. I too am still grieving, am angry and have a huge hole in my heart. I can’t stop crying, My brain and my heart are refusing to speak to one another. The truth of the matter is you didn’t do anything wrong. The vets knew the end was there but failed to be honest with you so you could understand what was happening. Please do not blame yourself. You did all you could, sadly the time had come for Buddy. Heart failure takes a toll on the body as a whole. Poor oxygen distribution, nutrution, the medications are hard on the kidneys, the list goes on. My little man actually died from renal failure due to the medications to controll the fluid and actually dehydrated him to the point it caused the renal failure. It is a fine line to tread and requires very close monitoring. Buddy’s left sided heart failure will affect his lung capacity more. The fluid fills to the point that breathing is severly compromised. Pamela, in a nut shell it is a very hard disease to treat. Even for humans. It is becoming one of the highest forms of heart diseases out there now. I’m hoping that writting this to you will help me too. But your case was so close to mine I wanted to let you know that you did everything right, HF is just a nasty disease and I hate to see you blame yourself. I hope you find solace and remember your baby in all the good ways, and beautiful times you have spent together.

  72. GINA says:

    I lost my beloved dog Pinky yesturday. He appeared on my doorstep 10 months ago. It was a rainy nite and I opened my door to him. I had originally planned to just rescue him, nurse him back to health and find a good home. But after one nite I couldnt let him go. I thank God, the universe for putting him into my life and although his physical prescense has left a whole in my heart, I revel in the hundreds upon hundreds of wonderful memories he has left me. I love u then,now and forever my sweet prince.

  73. Shadow says:

    My dog SHADOW was great dog to me , because I grown up with him . He use to chase me to my friends home . A friend of mine is friend him too. We went through some rough patches in our lifes . On the other side we had awesome time to gather ( nothin can I this world can beat our joy ) . But , buddy SHADOW won the race today and left me behind , watching me from behind the finish line. I ll be with u dude , once I’m done with this distance between us . Where we ll be having a blast in our life every second , once I cross the finish line . Till then bang every dog in heaven & have blast ( my dog is so Randy just as me ).

  74. meliss says:

    I lost my Snow to cancer and megaespogas.He was on chemo for 6 months and seemed to be gettung better but in two days he went down hill and had to be put yo sleep.I miss him so very much i just cry everyday

  75. Yasmin says:

    Yesterday I lost my best friend of 11 years, Maya. I feel so devastated.I know she is in a better place, but I miss her so much, She was so kind and loyal. I will always keep her in my heart. Thank you for these wonderful years.

  76. Lori says:

    My best friend (my Boston Terrier Dee Dee) of 11 years died in March of 2010. I still miss her everyday, somedays more than others. Sometimes I dream about her, and, although it is wonderful in the dream to hug her and play with her and talk to her, it is hard to wake up and realize that it was just a dream. When that happens I miss her so much I can’t sleep and cry all the time. It is such grief I don’t know how it will ever go away.

  77. colleen says:

    my beautiful dog goldie was such a kind and gentle dog. she was so good with the grandchildren and other children as well. she was friendly and happy.
    we thought she had arthritis in her hind legs and took her to the vet where they told us she had cancerous leisions all over her hind legs. they told us they could amputate, but that was no gurantee that the cancer would not spread.
    so we had her put to sleep. both of my children were there when she died, and we were with her right to the end. we miss her so much,and we grieve every day. she died on april 25, 2012 at 5:00 pm.

  78. Neeko says:

    I lost my beloved dog in March due to an emergency bladder stone surgery where the stones were stuck in his urethra. He was at the vets for a week. I would go sit with him everyday after work just to comfort him while he was healing. He showed signs of recovering but still wouldn’t eat or drink. They thought it would be better if he came home cause then he might eat in familiar surroundings. I brought him home but after a couple of hours he started to get week and unresponsive. I was losing my baby…he was put into the vehicle to go back to the vets….but he didn’t make it. I know now that he just wanted to come home to pass peacefully. Even today I still cry over losing him….the house seems so empty without him. He’s not there with me anymore when we go anywhere in the vehicle… I feel so ost and miss him so terribly. We had a wonderful 12 years together and always in my heart.

  79. Nat says:

    My beloved westie died last summer and I was devastated. She was only 8 and very healthy but my dad accidentally ran her over. I have only just begun to accept her death and trust me it is very hard. She was my best friend and she always knew when I was upset. She was truly a great dog and I can’t wait to be with her once it is time for me to go. She is very dearly missed:(

  80. pinkyjoe says:

    my cute white rabbit,PINKY left me on this may7th.She was my everything,my naughty lil bubbly gal.I miss u a lott…Y u left me.God plz gimme her back.Otherwise take me to her.I want to see her again,to pat her,run around with her,to eat wid her.to do all funny thingz.Love u lil sister..Come and comfort me.

  81. Pamela Chan says:

    Hi Tracey D

    I read your story you wrote on 26 Feb 2012. I cried also upon reading towards the end. My heart goes out to you.. I have just lost my beloved poodle on the 22 Apr 2012. I am still coping with the guilt & grief. My story was posted on 3 May 2012. However, there is this website link below I find it’s very helpful which may help you to cope with your grief.

    http://www.in-memory-of-pets.com

    Pamela Chan

  82. Patrick says:

    I lost my best friend Rush, a Silver Tabby, one year ago today.

    He was 18 years old and my heart is still broken. Yes, maybe too long to grieve but on this day I remember his life with me and my ex-wife(he lived 9 years more with me after we broke up)

    Nothing hurts quite so much as the loss of his nibbling on my nose in the morning, his talking to me, and his wonderful smell, and playing with him.

    I just miss him….he was a good friend, my best friend.

    Patrick

  83. LOVEKATTS says:

    my beloved cat ELLIE is 18 and a half and very thin,also totally deaf ,and I know how you feel as I lost my gorgeous boy to cancer 3 years ago aged 11 and I was absolutely devastated. I am dreading making the imminent decision for my cat now. She is so thin and sleeps most of the time. She is next to me now snoring away ,but she is getting wobbly on her back legs and twitching more and more facially. I cry as I write this especially as my husband says I shouldn’t have pets if it upsets me this much ,but I love them so much.

  84. Pamela Chan says:

    Confused & intense grief over the unexpected & sudden death of my dog, a white x breed Poodle & Maltese named Bobby
     
    My dearly deeply loved toy poodle passed away 22 April 2012 Sunday so unexpectedly & suddenly due to heart failure. He was only 12 years & 8 months old. My husband & I were devastated over the loss of Bobby. His departure was too sudden & unexpected. Everything happened within 5 hours. We were not ready & prepared emotionally & mentally. My pain has never been as intense as those periods when my 2 pet dogs passed away many years ago.  Prior to the happening, he was still healthy, had been eating well, peeing & pooing well.
     
    On the Sunday morning, he was still alright.  Only in the afternoon, he started to show restlessness & breathlessness.  I brought him down to get some fresh air (which I would normally do & he would feel much better after the walk) but he refused to walk.  So I carried him & let him sit by the fountain so that he could breathe easily.  We sat there for about 15-20 mins, then we walked back home.  He still urinated on our way back home.  I brought him to the swimming pool recess area but he was too tired to walk but sat on the ground.  So I carried him & went back home instead.  In the lift, he was very weak & his neck kept turning to the left with little energy.  At that moment, I felt very worried & uneasy about his condition.  But he was better when we reached home & I placed him on the floor covered with the comforter.  He started to look for his daddy & even went into his favorite travel carrier when his daddy took it out getting ready to bring him to see the vet together.
     
    As our vet clinic of the branch (we always visited) didn’t open on Sunday, I had to bring him to the other branch which was located even further away from our home.  I remembered in the taxi he wanted to come out of the carrier, so I let him out.  As he came out, he barked a couple of times as if telling me he was feeling well.  I immediately hugged him & comforted him saying to him that we were reaching soon, just hanged on for a little while & you would be alright.
     
    Upon reaching the vet clinic, he was immediately put on the oxygen mask and was given 2 injections, one for Dexasone (steroid) & one for Fursemide (diuretic) to get his condition stabilized.  The vet told me his condition was very serious & may die any time in my hand on the journey when we transferred him to the pet hospital.  (I was shocked & confused & refused to believe because his condition was not so bad before he reached here).
     
    I couldn’t understand why his condition worsen so fast (To be frank, I don’t have much faith in vet. As that point, I felt that the vet who was also a senior one, did not do her best to treat my darling).  On the way to the pet hospital, my darling was still struggling to breathe (there was no oxygen mask), so I wind down the taxi window to allow more fresh air for him.  It took us at least 20 mins to reach there.  Upon reaching, he was immediately warded & placed on oxygen mask & injected with fursemide to treat his acute breathing difficulty.  The vet surgeon said that if his condition could be stabilized within the next 3 – 4 hours, he should be able to pull through.  We waited for 3 hours & forced my way to peep into the room where he was being monitored with all the life saving treatment devices.  During that hour, there was a change in shift in the staff nurse who, in my assessment, was not as gentle & careful as the earlier one.  It came to a time he was trying to change the oxygen devices & for the 1 – 2 mins, my darling oxygen mask was removed.  The staff nurse asked me to come in to monitor him while he went to the next room opposite to get the device. To my shocking, my darling tongue was turning very purplish & the next moment, went into coma.  I quickly shouted for help.  The vet surgeon & the staff nurse rush in to resuscitate him.  His heart beat came back for only 10 mins but he couldn’t make it.  He left us at about 9pm on Sunday 22 April 2012.
     
    I was very angry with the vets. I had entrusted my darling to them for rescue but it seemed like they had made things worst instead of saving him.  I blamed myself for making the a wrong decision to rush him to the vet (who had apparently had made situation worst instead). Before that, Bobby was still looking alright though I saw worrying & disturbing signs of Bobby having breathing difficulty. More than 2 years ago, he had had a similar situation but he managed to cope & pull through without seeing the vet. If only I had given him a chance to cope, relax & not putting stress on him (he wouldn’t have suffered the ordeal of travelling in the taxi & going through vet’s treatments which apparently made matter worst), he may have pulled through again.

    Back on 19 Sep 2011 he was diagnosed with heart failure & kidney problem. Since then, we changed his diet to home cooked food again for the sake of his health. He always looked forward to his dinners & breakfast.  He was placed on medication prescribed by my vet.  I fed him ¼ tablet heart tablet (fortekor) & ¼ tablet diuretic (lung water removal) for dinner & only ¼ tablet diuretic for breakfast.  He loved eating raw papaya (which actually had reduced his creatinine & BUN level) & helped in the healing of his skin problem.  Every evening, we would feed him apple.  He also loved eating bananas which we fed him occasionally.  His appetite improved a lot with each day passed.  He poohed at least 2 times a day & also pee well. Because of his heart failure problem due to malfunction of the mitral valves, he would have some coughings each time after drinking water, in between sleeps & when get excited. I would bring him for monthly check up to monitor his health condition.  His last checkup was on 23 Mar 2012 & the vet did not detect any deterioration of his overall health.  His next appointment was already fixed on the 7 May 2012.
     
    Our hearts are feeling intensely painful over the loss of our Bobby. I am still coping with the pain & loss.  I’m still feeling with guilt for sending him off so soon.  I was very confused & blamed myself for my inability to keep him longer.  Did I rob him of the chance to live longer?  If the clock can be turned back, will the outcome be different if I did not rush him to see the vet? 
     
    We had him only for 14 months when I took over from my parent after our family pet dog, a mongrel which we adopted, passed away. They have been each other companion at my parent place for the past 9 years.   Our family adopted him when he was 2 ½ years old. We deeply missed his companionship, the love & joy he had brought us during this period.  He is our fur family member with an interesting character which I could never forget.

  85. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    To everyone who is suffering because of their pet’s death,

    I’ve read every comment and am so sorry that you lost your pets. I know how it feels, and I want you to know you’re not alone in your pain. Thank you for sharing – it really helps other readers who have lost their pets to death, and who have not shared.

    Thank you for sharing your stories here, and may you rest in the knowledge that your pets are in a better place…perhaps even waiting to greet you! After all, who knows what happens to our souls after we die?

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  86. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Karen,

    I’m so sorry to hear how your cat died. It sounds like a terrible ordeal, and the veterinarian didn’t seem to do anything to help. There’s nothing I can say to make you feel better, but I want you to know that my heart goes out to you. I would hate to go through that with my cat or my dog, and I hope that your heart heals.

    May your cat’s soul rest in peace, and may you one day remember her with love, peace, joy, and acceptance. She is in a better place — chasing bigger bugs than we have on earth, and annoying bigger dogs than she ever has before!

    Blessings and sympathy,
    Laurie

  87. sandy says:

    my baby peanut of 12 years died in my arms ,she was 12 years old ,i held her for 2 hours while she was dying,she had just had surgery 2 days before ,for pyometra which i had never heard of ,while she was dying she was shaking and couldnt breath and the vet said there was nothing he could do,so i just held her at home,i cry alot everyday i just want her to come back to me,i cant handle this.

  88. Joe S says:

    Loseing our little girl Buddy was the most devestating things that I have ever been through in my life. We miss her more then words could possibly ever,ever express. She is/was Daddys heart. We love and miss you “our little cuppycake gumdrop.

  89. Karen says:

    I had my 15 year old kitty put down yesterday. I feel so bad. Yesterday was Monday. 10 days prior she was fine. Absolutely fine. Chasing bugs. Annoying the dog. Laying next to me and purring. Then, on a Friday night, she had what looked like a seizure. Low yowling, laying in the floor with legs pulled up, mouth open, tongue curled, panting and drooling. We rushed her to the Emergency Vet. Who said she was “fine – absolutely fine, just one of those things. It happens to older cats”, but she wasn’t fine. Back at home she had less energy. Less strength. Tried hiding in dark places. Had problems standing and walking. I took her the next day to our vets. He said she looked fine and took blood tests. He said her heart sounded “a little off” but nothing serious. She’s old, after all. Maybe she had a little stroke. Two days later he said the test results suggested a problem with her pancreas and gave her meds. The next day she was worse – and not eating – so he said it might be a bad reaction to the meds and to try a day without them. She got WORSE. Poor kitty. So he said to bring her in and he would keep her a few days to give fluids and injectible meds. I took her Thursday AM. I picked her up Saturday. Her face looked VERY swollen, but I thot it was from the fluids. At home, I discovered she had severe ataxia. I had to hold her up to help her drink from a water dish. She tried to find me once by crawling to another room, I found her laying in a ball with legs all askew. HOW COULD THE VET NOT HAVE NOTICED THIS!! She was there for DAYS! But he had told me she would be FINE! I laid her on the floor on a towel with a plastic bag under it as she couldn’t move. She would pee and just lay there until I came to help. I would hold her in my lap and pet her – she would purr and lick my hand. But she was so swollen and unwell. I did what I thought was right. But I’m so VERY ANGRY that two VETS seemed to have failed me and my girl. I work in a hospital (tho not medical myself) and “I” knew something was wrong. “I” knew that she had edema as soon as I looked at her. “I” recognized ataxia. It’s like no vet really took the time to properly evaluate her and STILL charged me nearly $1000. I feel guilty I didn’t take her to another vet somewhere else that would have given more attention – and maybe saved her. I’m mad at these vets AND at myself for not saving my kitty. She was VERY annoying at times (one of those who was NOT good at using her litter box) but so sweet and such a cuddly girl. She would follow me everywhere. Sit by me. Sleep with me. Wait outside the bathroom door for me (if she couldnt push it open). We brought her home exactly 1 week before my son’s 3rd birthday. As a gift for him. But of course, she choose me as her person. And now, she dies one week before my son’s 18th birthday. It’s horrible. And the place I work – my boss – dont even get this . My boss never even said “sorry” to me. Just ignored it. My son, who is not much of an empath, misses her. I can tell by the wetness under her eyes yesterday and because when I got home, he had the doors to the room she lived recently all shut and closed. He said he didn’t want the dog in there. But he is not expressive and refuses to talk about her or how he feels. So I can’t really talk to him about it. I miss my kitty. I miss her so much. And I am ANGRY at the vets. My dog is 12, a lab mix, and likely to not be around a lot longer himself just due to age (pretty healthy for now, but so was my Sarah). Not sure how to survive this loss, much less another.

  90. Tina says:

    Dear Lindsey Smith, I have just read your comment about your precious goldie, I feel for you so much as like you I also had to let my goldie “Connor” go 9 months ago. He was 7 weeks short of his 15th birthday, and it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. he too like your girl was still eating well and loved his treats, and would also greet me with the smiley face that goldies have. The thing is Lindsey, only you and your parents can decide whether the time is right for your goldie,you know her better than anyone else. You have to ask yourself “Is she in pain”? Do you think she is having a good quality of life?.You said she has to take 2 pain killers every day, also, she is struggling to climb the stairs,do you think she is happy, you have to be strong and as ive said only you know when the time is right. You and I were very blessed to of had our goldies live for such a long time, you will have so many memories of all the happy times you both have had together. Lindsey you probably wont want to accept anything that I have said and that is understandable, all I would like to say to you is I wish you and your parents all the best, and love to you,be strong, Tina from Wales. xx

  91. Kath says:

    @ Katrina

    That is the most beautiful poem I have ever read for a loss of a pet. I think of my golden and then think of this poem. Thank You

  92. chris says:

    Im so sorry for all of your loses, I had to have my 15 year old staffie put down last year and I still feel guilt some days. On friday I came down to let my 3 dogs out and one of them was dead in her bed. She was not ill or any different the day before. I feel shocked and guilty that I should of known something was wrong. I also have a staffie that has had mast cell tumours removed recently but now he has another 2 that are huge. He is whining for his lost friend and off of his food, Im so worried that his time is coming also to pass over. I dont know if I can cope with losing him so soon. I am still in shock over losing Belle on friday. My heart goes out to all of you that have lost your 4 legged friends xxx

  93. Paul Gold says:

    My “sweet little darling”, Felecia passed away on 4/13/12 in my arms as my vet, Dr.Kim Simons helped my 15 year old Persian cross over the Rainbow Bridge. Having the procedure performed in the peace and comfort of my condo was the best decision. Felecia was suffering from kidney failure and I could not allow her to suffer one second in her life. She had the perfect life and I wanted to give her the perfect ending. Felecia was black with yellow eyes, shared her food with a bird I had for two years, never hissed at anybody or anything. I had her body cremated and brought her home last week. Also the best thing, because I feel that she is still close to me. It did take a tremendous amount of courage to play God and end her life, but it was the final act of love that I could provide to my “baby”. She was a very small Persian, only 5 pounds even in her prime. I knew she was having trouble with her kidneys when she was peeing more than normal and drinking all the time. Could I have done more sooner? Perhaps but when a cat reaches that state their kidneys are already in bad shape. I am going to suggest this to all my animal loving friends…If you can afford to have your pet “put to sleep” at home, it is better for your pet and you…You can let out all your emotions, cry like a baby, I know the gentle and caring manner in which my vet helped me make the decision really did help me start the healing process much sooner. God Bless You All!

  94. june messenger says:

    To the lady who has regrets,my cat was put to sleep on Wednesday it wasn’t until today that I have accepted I made the right decision.
    I was making myself ill saying that I had killed her by asking for alternative tablets she went down hill really quickly.
    I hurt so much that I am taking kalms but every day is getting a bit better.
    I hope you come to terms with the situation soon.
    It helped today teaching children dancing listening to their stories of loosing their pets.Kind Regards.

  95. Nancy says:

    Put my 13 year old cat to sleep in early February.Miss her so much.She had been losing weight and wasn’t eating much.Vet said it was her thyroid condition which she was taking medication for.But when her weight kept dropping,she had a temp,and she had symptoms of being in pain she said they needed to do an x-ray and ultrasound.Totally shocked when it came back saying she had aggressive large cell lymphoma.They said it looked like the cancer was spreading.I did agree to let them operate to get the mass out of her intestines.I just wasn’t ready for her to be put to sleep.But she stopped eating completely after that and needed a feeding tube.Had diarrhea.I wasn’t sure if it was her cancer or the medicine causing this.I just didn’t think she could handle chemo and they said without it the cancer would keep spreading.Plus she hated going to the vet offive and would have to go a lot with chemo treatments.So-I made the painful decision to put her to sleep.I have felt guilty ever since.Now I think I should have given her more time.Maybe tried the chemo.I’m miserable and so sad.

  96. Regrets says:

    I let my cat get put to sleep today and I feel like a murderer. I came home to find him seizuring and laying in his own urine and rushed him to the vet. She said there were complications of diabetes and cancer spread throughout his body and his liver was basically gone. The vet said he was probably in pain and didn’t have more than a couple of weeks left. But while there he was eating and purring and I still put him down because I was too selfish to think of going through the anguish of bringing him back home knowing he was going to die and might keep seizuring.

    I am pregnant and my husband thought the stress of the whole ordeal would be too much on ME….. but now I know I am just a selfish b**tard who robbed my love of his time on earth and I will never, ever get over that.

    I could really use some help right now. Thanks.

  97. Arii says:

    @LindseySmith

    Your dog sounded exactly like my late Gizmo. I mean if she is still able to walk and is responsive to you, i don’t think its her time. If she is struggling and failing to walk, crying in pain, then I’d suggest maybe its time to put her down. I felt exactly the same way, which is why i did not choose to put my baby down. Instead he spent his last moments in my arms and the last couple of his days at home. He was happy and still ate until the day before his death. I didn’t want to force death upon him, and i still felt like he had a chance to get better. I don’t want to sway your opinion but it does not sound like its her time. I wouldn’t take my decision back for the world. I am happy my baby died at home in my arms and not in a hospital room. But its your decision.

    I’m not a vet or any sort of animal doctor but i believe that it should be a family wide decision to put her down. I wish you the best of luck.
    And trust me it will never be easy, love.

    God Bless

  98. Ruth says:

    Hi there i am so so sorry my darling of your loss … there is nothing worse than the feeling of guilt. Please be assured that you beloved friend didnt want you there because she loved you so much she knew it would break your heart. She chose to go but she wasnt alone she took with her the very best memories of you with her. ..

    I lost my Tammie ( bishon ) this year my god I thought my heart actual broke it hurt so much. She was my Nanas dog and was ruined. I never thought my heart could break anymore after losing Nana 4 years ago, seemed Tammie was our only connection left and when she went it was awful. like you I was too late to say goodbye to her she died on her own in the vet and found this site to help get me through it. All I kept thinking of was oh my god how could I leave her to die on her own and why wasnt I there … again thinking that the vet could have done more but she was very poorly and have learnt to accept that she really didnt want me there as it would have been so hard.

    Please try not to think that you could have done more that what you did.. she knew you loved her so much and thats why she went.. hope this helps a little xxx xxxxx xxxx love and hugs x

  99. june messenger says:

    My beautiful cat Tilly 18yrs old was put to sleep yesterday I can’t stop crying I feel in pain.
    I feel guilty as she had a bad back but was sick on the tablets,so I asked for something different to help her.Tilly was given steroids, within a week she lost weight, stopped eating, meowing and purring,I blame myself.I wish I hadn’t asked for it.Everyone says it was a coincidence that she went down hill.I have another cat but Tilly was a tortoiseshell she was like a human the other one is half occie cat.
    Even though I love her I close my eyes and stroke her and wish it was Tilly.This is the 3rd cat I have lost the others were 16yrs old.
    This is the worse I have ever felt I loved her so much I think she knew I loved her and didn’t want to leave me.I don’t think I will ever get over it.

  100. Lindsey Smith says:

    My golden retriever is 14 years old. She has a little trouble walking because she has lost so much muscle in her body. She still eats a lot of food and drink a lot of water. She sleeps most of the day, which she has been doing for at least 5 years. She still gets a little excited when we some home. My parents think it is not fair for her to live with slight pain in her back legs. We give a her two painkillers a day. I never hear her cry out, but she has trouble going up our stairs. They have decided to put her to sleep in a few days. But, its hard for me to accept that the time is now rather than a month or two. When I see that happy smile on her face, when she comes to me to give her treats, i feel like I am about to kill a happy little child. What does everyone think?

  101. Arii says:

    Oh i am so sorry for all your losses of your precious babies. I find this reassuring that i am not the only one who has lost my baby to unfortunate illness. I am sure all our babies are at peace now though. I was fortunate enough to have my baby take his last breath in my arms…I am still coping with his death, but since friday its been much better but the crying has not ceased.

    I wish you all a better day. I assure you that they are all waiting for us at rainbow bridge. It will never get easier and they’ll never be replaced but i know our dear babes are at peace..and we will join them again. God Bless <3

  102. Julie says:

    Clairelady,

    Sorry for your loss. wish I could say the right thing to make you feel better, but only we all go through the pain. I am a better person now because I lost my dog. not just me but my husband has changed how he feels about dogs. you didnt betray her you did the right thing, taking her to the doctor. its never easy to rethink everything.

    Are you going to cremate her? we did for our dog, and she sits on our fireplace mantle with a burning candle and her dog collar.

    Love,
    Julie.

  103. Patti B says:

    Hi Claire,

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss of Lady! Some of us have been through our own losses. None are the same but the guilt and the questions of “what ifs” we all have in common. Its easy to blame and second guess our choises of why we didn’t do this or why we did that.

    But, one person told me after I lost my Baby girl bootsie who I had for 12 years that we are only human and that we cannot forsee the future. WE are note fortune tellers. We are not God. Even Dr.’s don’t always have the right answers and sometimes think just a few hrs. won’t hurt but let me tell you this.

    You did everything you could for Lady! You loved her, you got her to the Dr. You put your trust in the Dr. like we ALL would. I did the same. My bootsie cat was my child, my baby to. I have no children myself and I pour my love and devotion and give all I can to my cats that I have had. Like you they are my life. Bootsie became sick throwing up one sat. afternoon at about 4pm. It continued and being it was unusual for her I called the vet at home at 8:30pm to tell him what was happening. She even had a loss of stool while just sitting beside her litter box. Thats why I called the veterinarian.

    She was weak, not eating, not drinking. I thought she got food poisoning from her breakfast that she at at 9am. That was the first thing she threw up and they it just turned to white liquid and some dry heaves. The dr. thought she possibly just had a bacterial problem inher stomach or bowels and I should keep an eye on her. She had not thrown up after that but maybe a few times. She was so weak, she went under my bed and once n a while would let out a cry. I was horrified as I knew she was hurting. He(vet) told me that if anything else came up to call him and he would meet me at the clinic(no 24 hr. clinic or hosp. for pets here). Sucks, we live in rural arkansas and I was so scared.

    Here is where I feel like you…I ask myself why did I not call him when she was crying out now and then as I’d run to caress her head, stroke her some and try and talk and comfort her. She suddently at 2:30am early sun. started what I thought was a seizure. She was half out from under my bed and gasping for air…I jumped down to my knees to tell her it would be ok and hollered for my husband to call the dr. He said I will be with boots, you call him. He said he could not imagine what was going on and I told him I could NOT watch her suffer like this…she was on her side swaying her legs like they do when they are dreaming but I knew at that point she was not going to make it.

    I even had a horrible thought that I wish I could have a needle to put her under peacefully right there but I couldn’t. I swaddled her in a blanket and held her close to me and walked her to the car and told her momma was with her and she was not alone and I would do all I could. I sat in the car in the dark as we drove 10 minutes to the rural clinic. I felt her twitch and then she was still and I knew she passed in my arms. I kept taking to her kissing her head telling her momma loved her and that it was ok for her to go to heaven where my mom was so she could be with grandma. I told Dan he didn’t need to rush and risk hitting a deer caus she was gone, he said no patti she isn’t. I said dan I know, a mother knows. Her front paws were crossed so beautifully and I just sat there for 10 minutes as we waited outside the clinic waiting for the dr. to get there…it was 3:10 am. and dan got out and met him and said I think she has passed away and I got out and said she is gone. He said come in and go into the room and I will look at her. I kissed her head and side and petter her tail(she never liked her tail being petted but I had to.) He listened to her heart, etc. and said I am sorry guys! He said I cna’t figure out why she would go this fast. She was always a very healthy active indoor cat. He said he thought her bowels were possible twisted. He took a stool sample and apoligized to do so so I turned my head.

    I could see her eyes glazed and I had to walk away. I didn not want any more horrifying visisions inmy head as I still after almost 2 mos. she passed on Feb. 26 of post traumatic visions of what I see as she lay there fighting to live. It is in myhead forever and I don’t think I will ever get rid of those visions. They get less but I go through WHY like you all the time. Others on this site have told me that I can keep asking why and I can work hard to get rid of those flashbacks I get but its not that easy. A lady told me she refused herself to let “one incident of the end of her beloved pets life to define the many many great memories.”

    When I heard that I realized that I HAVE to work at stopping my blame and I have to honor Bootsie with the happy memories even though I miss her and am brought to tears by the happy memories…..that, those memories of my tears when I remember them are sooooo much better than the horrible memories of those 10 hrs. she & I endured together. She would not want me to live with guilt, with flashbacks, she would want me to honor her with great stories and great memories and I am doing just that.

    You see, you have to think of something. What if you had your baby home with you and you watched her suffer like I did. I don’t know what is worse-watching her suffering or what you have to live with-constantly blaming yourself that she was alone w/out you. I get it, trust me I do. Maybe someone somewhere knew that if you had to watch the suffering first hand where you could ot get her to the vet you would have watched her gasping and thrashing for air and you would be having horrible flashbacks and guilt from that. I was told I called the vet.

    I was mad that I didn’t force him at 8:30 to meet me out there but after thinking about it…I think she would have been put in a cage, left alone on a late sat. night and into sun. and even if they would ahve put her on IV’s if it were a twisted bowel, she would have died alone. I don’t think your baby died alone. The vet and his employees were most likely there and she knew she wasn’t alone like my bootsie would have been. Our clinic is not staffed nights and weekends. I do feel good she passed in my arms, but what she went through before that I can never erase from my mind-NEVER. Our babies know we loved them, they know we did everything we could in our powers to help them and be there for them as much as we could. The would want us to forgive them.

    I had my bootsie cremated. My husband had to pick her up first. thing money to take her 30 miles north to be cremated. I picked her up 2 days later. She is with me. She did not like hte outdoors at all and she steered clear of doors to go outside, lol. So, I am keeping her in a beloved Pet Memorial box I bought on amazon.com and it has 5 slots for pictures. I put her favorite toys(she loved rubber balls) I taught her to play fetch from 4 mos. on and she never stopped playing for 12 years. So, if you have not created a memorial please consider doing so because that would be a great process in your healing. You are not alone. Your baby is looking over you and with all the years of love and unconditional companionship she would want you to try and heal your heart hte best you can.

    It takes alot of time and I mean alot. I still cry uncontrollably at times and I have learned to let the tears out…they are healing tears. You have to know in the deepest part of you heart and soul that if ou could have prevented any of this you would have and you have to know your BABY-your child knew that and wants you to go on and be happy. It would not supprise me if your baby someone down the road sends another one your way to help heal your heart when you are ready.

    I truly believe this because bootsie healed my heart 12 years ago after the loss of my very first cat Tux. I told her God & Tux sent her to mommy to heal my heart and she would give me the eyes of recognizing what I was saying and they lay on my lap and just look at me with her loving eyes. She is part of my heart forever just as yours is. Talk to her as much as you can…that doesn’t mean you are crazy…it means you can do it because you know what LOVE is. Unconditional love!

    Take care and write anytime you feel you need to.

  104. Jeff says:

    My Trouble kitty (good-girl kitty, pretty kitty, adventure kitty, guard kitty) my best friend these past 16 years, died Friday morning.

    We found her at the foot of the stairs, she wouldn’t wake up. She was still warm, not normal, but not cold. She couldn’t have been gone for more than half an hour. I took her in my arms and cried harder than I ever have in my life. I cried harder and longer than for any of my grandparents that have died. I kept begging her to wake up, then started begging for myself to wake up, for it to be a nightmare..

    I put her in her favorite basket/bed and carried her out to the backyard and sat w/ her on my lap on a bench talking to her, petting her, trying to figure out what to do next. I kept looking around for where she may like to be put to rest, all her favorite spots were pavers or concrete. After a long while I saw a place next to a pot I’d been growing some cat greens in. From that spot, you can see everything she loved in the back yard. The tree she climbed when she was young, her catnip, an old piece of tree limb she’d scratch on, the spot she’d carry the the lizards she’d catch to play with, the benches she’d lie on or under, and through the window, the home office, and the “magic door” she could have me knock on and always have opened by the nearest family member, even if that was me, going back to the door we went out at and opening the “magic door”….

    I took her back inside, laid her bed down in-front of one of her favorite windows, and talked to the family about what I felt I wanted to do for her. I put some bamboo and catnip, fresh tissue, and all her favorite toys, in her bed with her, then went out to dig the hole. I put one of her other baskets upside down over the top of her basket/bed, then tied them together.. I left a long tail of string to gently lower her down. In the bottom of the hole, I laid a bed that she used to lie on when she first adopted us, when we kept a small pup-tent outside for her. I lowered her in, filed the hole, and collapsed crying.

    Since then I’ve found myself losing it… every-time I’d have fed her, every-time I’m in the kitchen and she’d have come running for a treat, every-time it would have been time to take her out for out-side time in the back yard…, every-time I walk to the bathroom I find myself looking for her in any of her favorite spots.. I hear tissue rustling but the bed isn’t even there .. I went back to my office today and saw some of her hair on my futon from when I decided she needed to remember that not every car ride was a trip to the vet..

    I keep trying to focus on all the good.. How she had been a stray, that she had picked us, adopted us.. That.. she had picked me. I knew that the day she showed off for me, climbing a tall evergreen tree against a neighbor’s house, leaping to their roof.. leaping on some unlucky chipmunk or mouse, then leaping back to the tree and climbing down the inside branches head first like a spiral staircase.. She came running to me, meowing every-other pace, did you see what I did did you see what I did… I keep trying to focus on all the adventures.. car rides to and from school, plane rides to FL before we moved down here… I keep trying to focus on how many times we’d saved her.. from the cold when she was a stray, from being euthanized when an a-hole picked her up on the walking path and took her in on my mom’s birthday, when she’d developed diabetes, and the change of diet that let her get into remission…

    But then I think of how that last day, with the heating/AC guys making noise I let her lay in a safe spot. I sat close by, I took her outside and let her wander, petted her, let her lie under the benches…I took the day off and spent it with her.. still I can’t help but regret not picking her up that evening, thinking, “she’s had an exciting day, let her relax of she wants to lay there”.. I keep thinking I should have scooped her up and carried her up to bed that night… or at least said and kissed her goodnight.. I should feel blessed that I got to spend that whole day with her, that I hadn’t wasted it at the office… I should feel blessed that she got to spend so many extra hours outside, with me, before she left.

    She never cried for any of us, she didn’t tell us like she usually would if she needed us. I can only hope and pray that that means she went peacefully in her sleep.. At the foot of the stairs, being the good guard kitty, the good protector, guarding her family and home between us and the front door.

    I’m crying as I type this.. I never knew I had so many tears inside me. I just miss her so much.

  105. Claire says:

    My Dearest Friend Lady
    Posted April 23rd, 2012 at 11:45AM

    By: Clairelady
    Age: 31-35
    What’s Your Story?
    Share It Here
    My sweet dog Lady meant the world to me. She died on 14th April and I don’t know how I will cope with the grief. She seemed to be ill very suddenly breathing very fast on the Thursday night. I let her sleep a couple of hours and took her to the vet in the early hours of the morning. They said she had bronchitis and gave her injections and medication. If she didn’t improve we should take her back the next day. Which my mum did because I had to work. They gave her more meds and injections. Still no improvement. So on the Saturday 14th April we had to take her back again. To her death. The vet was meant to look after her and I left her with him and he had her there two hours and she was dead. My beloved girl I had for almost 11 years. She was like my child as I don’t have any children. I also have no partner. She had been with me through terrible times and I left her to die alone in a kennel. What did the vet do to her that day when I wasn’t there.

    I’m racked with guilt, why did I leave her, why didn’t I take her sooner. Why didn’t I watch her more closely. Why didn’t I spend more time with her. The list goes on. My heart is broken and I am becoming such a bitter person because I loved my girl and I was robbed of her at such a young age. Others live to be 16 some older. Why did she die?

    I was going to get an autopsy because I desperately want to know what happened but I decided no as I didn’t want her cut. But how do I know the vet didn’t neglect her or give her an O/D?

    Am so devastated I honestly don’t know how to go back to normal life. It feels like a betrayal, how will I laugh again now she’s gone.

    Am going to see her at the funeral home. Not sure it’s wise but because she died without me I have to see her and say goodbye. So sad I wasn’t with her when she died.

    RIP my dearest baby. Love you more than life itself.

    Sorry for the long post but I have so much I need to say.

  106. Alexis Cameron says:

    Today I awoke to find my Garage door open. My uncle who lives with us is a bit old and senile and tends to leave doors untended. I corrected him for it and moved on with my day.

    That is until I left my house and found my cat dead, hit by a car, on the side of the road.

    I am so consumed right now with anger and hate. I want to beat my uncle to death with an oar or a cricket bat.

    I raised that kitty from a baby, helped deliver him from his mum. Losing him has hurt so much I am confused and unsure how to cope.

    I really skipped denial and jumped right to anger, which I cannot seem to come off….

    Alexis
    *in tears and pain at the loss of her beloved Boddhisatva*

  107. Katerina says:

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  108. Arii says:

    Well today i lost my baby. I woke up at 6am and found him breathing funny in the rocks. So i took him in my arms and sat in the yard. The day was so beautiful. I sang to him and sang to him until he passed away at 9am. Oh i cried and cried so much, i was in disbelief that my baby of 12 years was gone. But the suffering was over and i had closure holding him in my arms, there was a brief wind when he passed and i only knew.

    So i bathed him, drove him to the cremation center and know he is back home in forever peace. I can’t wait until we are reunited.

    I am just so happy i was able to be there with him when he took his last breath…He didn’t die alone. He was born loved and he died love and to me that’s all that matters.

  109. Joe T says:

    Just brought my 14 year old beagle/lab mix (Zena) in today to be put down. She had a number of issues and no matter how much I tell myself it had to be done I can’t help feeling a ton of guilt for doing it. It’s like I betrayed her trust or something.

    She was the absolute best dog you could ask for. Loyal and obedient to a fault. She went to work with me every day for years. When I went on road trips she went along. I couldn’t have loved her more and she couldn’t have brought our family more happiness.

    Our daughter will be hit especially hard when she finds out. She is 21 and was raised with Zena since she was 7.

    I feel like I’m in a state of shock. My wife called last night when I was out of town screaming and crying because she thought Zena was dying. She evidently had some kind of seizure. When I got home about 2:30 in the morning, she was sitting on the laundry room floor with Zena in her lap. Zena seemed fine then, but we both knew what had to be done. I slept on the couch with Zena next to me and in the morning took her to the vet.

    She was always afraid to go to the vet, but today it seemed like she knew what was happening. She was shaking uncontrollably, even though she was sitting in my lap the entire time. I’ve heard that dogs can sense death. Maybe that’s why she was always afraid to go there.

    She died in my lap very peacefully and I know she is no longer suffering. Someday my suffering will end also.

    Zena, you were an absolute gift and blessing to our family. You brought us immeasurable happiness and joy. We will miss you all the days of our lives. If I’m lucky enough to get to Heaven, I hope you’re there to greet me.

  110. Katrina says:

    I thought this was really nice. Funnily I read it the week before rolo was killed and shedded a tear at the thought of losing him. A week later and I am reading it for myself!

    I Remember
    I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
    I could see that you were crying. You found it hard to sleep.
    I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
    “It’s me, I haven’t left you, I’m well, I’m fine, I’m here.”
    I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
    You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.
    I was with you at the shops today. Your arms were getting sore.
    I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
    I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
    I want to re-assure you, that I’m not lying there.
    I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
    I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said “It’s me.”
    You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
    I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
    It’s possible for me to be so near you everyday.
    To say to you with certainty, “I never went away.”
    You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew…
    in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
    The day is over… I smile and watch you yawning
    and say “Good-night, God bless, I’ll see you in the morning.”
    And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
    I’ll rush across to greet you and we’ll stand, side by side.
    I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
    Be patient, live your journey out… then come home to be with me.
     

  111. Arii says:

    So my teacup/min pin mix just turned 12…He’s been really sick and we are planning to put him down. I have been a wreck for the past week. I am just tired of seeing him suffer. Ive had him since he was born, and i just didnt think the time would come so quickly. I just don’t know how i am going to get over it…I am literally crying while i write this. Time is ticking. Oh my baby Gizmo. <3

  112. Boxer dad says:

    We put my 6 yr old boxer in kennels two days ago, but had a call last night to say she was at the vets having collapsed, Pancreatitis is the cause a very sudden onset although she had a weak heart and a few others things we drove 200 miles home last night picked up our other dog and were allowed to see our little girl she was wracked with pain, they hoped she would make it through the night which she did but was in too much pain, the vets advised (rightly) to let her go. She has been our rock these past few years and we are all totally devasted, we have another dog but it just not the same. The kennels are not to blame and reacted quickly but it pains us so much that we were not there. Last night I whistled and she picked her ears up, she knew we ahd come back for her I just wish we had never gone

  113. Katrina says:

    My dog rolo, we found him about 6 years ago he was a stray dog which nobody claimed so we ended up keeping him. I grew a very close bond with him. He was my wee baby. He loved the attention I gave him but loved to wander an sniff everything.. He got out a few times out of the house but we always got him back or he goin his way home. 5 days ago he got out again. I live close to a motor way which has a walk way bridge. The day after he had left. I got a phone call bak from the dog warden telling me that a dog had been knocked down and killed. She knew nothing about what breed the dog was. (he was a mixed breed jack Russell) when the council and warden went to get the dog it was gone. I was 99% sure it was my rolo. I was heart broken. But I kept phoning everywhere to find out where the body had gone. I managed to find the police man who went to the scene when it happened. I sent him a photo. That’s when he confirmed it was my rolo. I felt a little bit more closure but still won’t get his body back. It was a coach that knocked him down. The coach driver stopped and lifted him off the road.
    I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over his death. He was my first pet that was mine. I was the one in charge of him and this has happened.
    I’m still waiting for him to come walking in. I don’t want to believe it has happened. I keep telling myself he is in his bed sleeping. We had such a perfect routine he knew so well each morning and night.
    I know nobody will read this but I feel that by telling my story it might help me accept it. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I just miss my baby so much I am so devastated :(

  114. helsophie says:

    I loss my little 2 yrs pup 2 days ago. I’m heartbroken, devastated; I miss her so much. She was put in sleep b/c of kidney failure. Part of me was gone with her. She died in my arms. I don’t know how to deal with this.she was part of my life and was part of my family. I used to be around by her, she gave me love and joys. The house is not the same without her. I miss her innocent face. The look of her eyes staring at me every day I got home after work. I coughed, she turned her head to me, I could read her eyes: are you alright,mom? I miss the ways the flatten her tummy on on the floor or just upside down so I could rub her belly. §he stayed in bed with me every night. Everywhere I go now missing her. Part of me was gone with her.

  115. Sheryn says:

    My Ko’Olina girl was a brown, spotted, DSH cat. She went comatose at the ER two days ago, Friday morning at 6:30AM. I told the vet to stop her heart at 7:30AM. She had fluid in her chest from an infection. Probably a bite or scratch from our other cat playing too roughly. They are both indoor cats. Coal my boy kitty is meowing a lot now and more clingy. I think he is upset that she has not been here for two days. She was just 2 years old, he is 4 years old. I struggle with my decision to let her go, though I didn’t want her to be in pain or to try to revive her and she suffer and then still not make it. I miss her so much though. I wish I would have taken her to the vet at the moment her demeanor changed. She started sleeping more, but I didn’t schedule an appointment until she hadn’t eaten in a full day. I scheduled an appointment for the following afternoon.
    She died well before that appointment after we rushed her to the ER. I hope she knows I was with her, that my husband and I love her and we’re so sorry we didn’t realize she was so very sick and take her in sooner. Maybe she would have survived. It was just so weird since she was just fine the Sunday before, she was playing, lively and having a good time. I never imagined that within 5 days she would pass away and I would have to choose to let her go.

    This was such an awful lesson for us to learn at the sake of our favorite girl, I keep waiting for her to come around the corner in the hallway, come to get food with Coal and jump up on the bed to take a nap next to me. It’s so hard to accept that she is truly gone, even though I was there when she was taken off the ventilator and given the injection. I just wish I could know that she knew I was with her, she was vacant at the time. No responses at all and that killed me to see a shell of her like that.

  116. Greg says:

    I had to make the heart wrenching decision to put my beloved border collie Mispickel to sleep on 7th Feb upon the vet’s advice. The vet said we were dealing with late stage cancer and it would be the kindest thing to do – however, I subsequently discovered that her symptoms were identical to post-treatment complications for the lungworm medication they had prescribed for her, which could have been managed with medication – my heart sank.

    I returned to the vet and requested her medical history. The receptionist disappeared into the consultation room and as she had been gone for some time and I heard whispering, I peered around the door and caught the young vet who put my dog to sleep rapidly scrolling through, highlighting, deleting and typing over things on the computer screen. When she saw me she looked embarrassed and said I would have to write in if I wanted a copy of her medical notes and they were their property.

    After a few phone calls they eventually printed off the records, however they have been changed so much that the description does not sound anything like how my dog was on the 7th Feb – it says she had “masses around her neck”, her breathing rate was 60 and she was struggling – her breathing was elevated but never that fast, she eagerly got into the car on her last ever car ride without any assistance and only had one small lump on her neck which had not grown in 11 months.

    The vets have also invoiced me for things I never requested and issued me with a 10% late payment fee if I did not settle my account within 7 days of the invoice – which would have been impossible as they posted it 5 days later, 2nd class just before a bank holiday weekend! I have no way of proving that the records have been changed as it will be my word against theirs. I wish I had gone for a second opinion – discovering that a mistake has probably been made and then covered up makes it unbearable. I don’t know how I’m ever going to get over what has happened.

  117. Milo says:

    I also know how you’re feeling Kasi. I have been crying for the past 14 hours since I found out Milo died :( I miss him so much but remember our pets are waiting for us in heaven just like how they use to wait for us at home.

  118. Milo says:

    This morning I just found out my 5 month old puppy (Milo), who I’ve only had for 3 months, died thursday morning at the vet hospital he was in. I kind of knew he died because it wasn’t until yesterday I noticed that I felt like a piece of me was gone.Plus, my mom heard the bell he always wore (even when he was in the hospital) jingling in the loft and down the hallway until it was gone. His way of saying “Bye mommy and grandma”. All I can remember was the good times me and my family had with him. He was such a cutie. I miss him soo much he brought joy and happiness to the house. I just wish I was there when they buried him because the only thing i remember of him in his final week was him looking at me like “don’t cry I’ll be okay”. That puppy fought for me until he couldn’t anymore and I appreciate him for it. R.I.P my sweet little boy. I’ll miss you laying on my shoulder and barking at me for not playing with you.

  119. Carolyn says:

    Snuggly wasn’t the cat I thought I was looking for 5 years ago. I wanted a young long haired grey kitten. I had had three orange cats growing up but they lived good long lives but were no longer with us and for the past 6 years I had been in an apartment that didn’t allow cats. I was new at work and hadn’t told anyone that I was looking for a cat so it surprised me when a co-worked told me that she knew I was looking for a cat and had the perfect one for me. Later she told me she was just desperate to find someone to take this cat off her hands – she found her as a stray – very very skinny and declawed. She had put signs up all over the neighborhood and contacted local vets but no one seemed to be missing her. She brought me pictures – Snuggs is a calico/tortie mix and I wasn’t immediately attracted to her but my friend convinced me to drive to her house an hour away to see her in person. I got there and Snuggs was kind of quiet but crawled into my lap. It wasn’t love at first sight but I’ve never been good at saying no so ended up taking her home. Things didn’t go very well at first. Snuggs spent all of her days just sitting under the couch. She came out to eat when I wasn’t around but that was it. I don’t have any other animals and was going out of my way to make things quiet and safe for her to come out. After about a month she came out one day and was just the friendliest cat ever. I couldn’t believe the change until a few hours later when I realized that she was in heat. The vet my friend had initially taken her to said that she had already been spayed but he was obviously wrong. I took her to a new vet and arranged for surgery days later. They also guessed that she was around 4 years old. I got a phone call from the vet after surgery saying that she had a horrible infection in her uterus and was very very ill and may not make it. I still wasn’t very attached to this cat and couldn’t believe the thousands of dollars I was spending on a cat that I didn’t even really want to keep, but once she recovered and came home, she was a new cat. I think she hadn’t been feeling well from the infection from the time I brought her home. Once that was cleared up she just blossomed. We have been best friends for the past 5 years. She is the thing that I look forward to coming home to at the end of the day, the one I curl up with in bed at night, the one that pushes my bathroom door open every morning letting all the cold air in just so she can be ready for me to turn on a trickle of water in the sink that she likes to drink. She sometimes is more like a dog than a cat, running to greet me at the door each day or night when I get home. If I’m away for a few days she never holds it against me – just comes running to me when I do return and she has the louded little purr motor that just won’t stop. She was diagnosed with breast cancer a little over a year ago. The lump that was removed was way less than 2cm so her prognosis was kind of unknown – they said anywhere from 3 months to 3 years or more. She was fine for about 8 months. Then I felt the tumors come back. The vet said we could remove them again but that it wouldn’t prolong her life at all and she really really hated going to the vet and had a somewhat difficult recovery from the first surgery so we opted to just wait things out at home. The lump got bigger, a lot bigger – like the size of a golf ball but she didn’t seem to be in any pain and was just as active and loving as always – until a little over a week ago when she stopped eating. Then in the past 2-3 days she was more lethargic. Only wanting to sit on her special chair or on the bed and sleeping away most of the day. Her sleep didn’t seem totally restful – more like she was just staying still to try to minimize the discomfort. She mostly kept her eyes closed. After watching her for several hours Thursday night I decided the best thing would probably be to have the vet come put her to sleep the following morning but then around 9:30pm everything changed. She woke up, stretched, and went to the bathroom, jumping into the sink and looking around for me to turn the water on for her. Then she drank and drank and drank. When she was done she jumped down and then went back to the bedroom and waited for me. When I came in she snuggled up right next to me like she always does and the purred and purred. It was a great night and I thought maybe I was wrong about her being miserable earlier in the day. When she was looking bad I had managed to get someone to cover for me at work on Friday but after such a good night on Thursday I woke up Friday a little embarrassed that I was home and not at work. Her bounce back was short lived though. After about 12 hours we were back to her clearly not being comfortable. I debated waiting one more night to see if she would bounce back again but ultimately decided that because she had advanced cancer and really wasn’t going to get better that it was better not to make her be uncomfortable anymore. I had the vet come over last night and put her to sleep. It was the hardest thing ever! I’ve only ever put one other cat to sleep and that time it was so very obvious that the time was right. This time I really don’t know if I did it too soon, waited too long, or did it at the right time. I just don’t know. I do know that I miss her terribly. I hate to go to bed without her right there bedside me and to wake up without her sleeping at my feet. I miss the rush of cold air in the bathroom when I’m in the shower as she pushes the door open to get in and wait for me to get out. I miss having her beg for attention and pets in the morning before I leave for work, I miss looking up and seeing her waiting for me at the top of the stairs when I come home at night, I miss every little thing about her – she was the most loving and gentle and wonderful and beautiful friend that I ever could have imagined. She was the first cat that I ever had where it seemed like she really loved me as much as I loved her. Every minute of every day is so hard right now – I miss her soooooooo much!

  120. Cathy says:

    So sorry, Callie.

  121. Callie says:

    Rip Busta

  122. Kasi says:

    I lost my one year old puppy today due to Parvo. We noticed she stopped eating about three days ago. She was still drinking water, which I thought was a good thing because puppies with Parvo usually don’t drink any water and they get sicker. But, we couldn’t really afford a vet now, due to the economy. So we ordered Parvaid. We also looked up emergency tea for parvaid and we went and got pedialyte. She started drinking more water, but she started drooling something awful, and she just wasn’t the same energetic puppy anymore. We had to wake up every hour and give her medicine, so I did. I woke up at 5 and gave her, her medicine and by this time her eyes were wide, she was breathing heavy, and she couldn’t even look at me, I knew it was time to say goodbye because she was just suffering so bad. I said, “Baylee, Mommy knows your hurting, and I’m so sorry I can’t help. You have been such a trooper this last three days, and I want you to know it’s okay to go now. You can go play with God.” and I left the room, and went to sleep. I woke up at 6, and she was gone. I’m grieving so bad right now. I feel like I’ll never get over this..</3
    I love you sweet angel.
    It's not goodbye, it's I'll see you later.
    -Mommy loves you Baylee.

  123. Cathy says:

    Hi Callie, I would take Busta to the vet. You don’t want him to suffer and who knows, there might be a chance for him. If not, at least you know you have continued to take care of him, even if that means saying goodbye. I wish you luck. It is difficult to find out news and make decisions. I hope that you get good news and that your pet heals.

  124. tommy says:

    I was heart broken to lose Howard back in February. I wrote about it on here and remember having a lot of guilt and sadness. It was rough. I loved him more than any other pet.

    I have gotten over his loss and I am enjoying the time I have with my dog and cat who are alive and well. The pain does go away. I promise. I see pictures of Howard and smile because I know he was happy and he made me very happy.

    Anyone who takes the time to visit this page must love their pets very much and these animals are very lucky to have you all as parents.

  125. callie says:

    My dog Busta has been with me all my life (12years) he is sick but i don’t really want to take him to the vet because i know we won’t bring him back alive. What should i do

  126. Cathy says:

    Thinking of you all today. Reading all of your posts helped me. You are right that having a pet is so important in our lives. Mine, since I was a child–Midnight, Danny and now Smokey have made me a better person. And yes, our pets know us so well. Sorry for these latest losses. I’ve had birds growing up in my house Becky–and they are such characters too and are great pets. Of course you would miss yours. I have also been thinking about them.

    I am definitely adopting some pets in the future, but right now I want to just think and change some things. Everyone handles that differently I think. I do hate being home though, and I am off from work–Yesterday I moved the loveseat which used to be in front of the window in the sun. Smokey always stayed on it in the morning. I feel a lot better not staring at it. I did keep some of his things. There is a blanket which still smells like him and I’ve kept some of his toys. What I find most difficult is looking at the empty spots where he stayed. I like to think he is with me as well. That was interesting about Felix and the gust of wind. I can tell that the thought of him being near you and saying goodbye brought some comfort, Papermoon. I had an experience when I can home after my cat died at the vet and I screamed his name. There was a huge bang on the roof exactly after I yelled. It sounds crazy, but it stopped me from sobbing. When you think about it, no one really knows about the afterlife.
    I’m feeling less crazed, thinking more about how much he added to my life and how grateful I was to have adopted him, or maybe that he adopted me.

  127. papermoon says:

    My beloved feline companion Felix,14years old, passed away last night. I took him to two vets, and they both said they didn’t really know what was wrong, but gave him 2-3months to live. He seemed to be improving on Sunday! His appetite sort of returned, he was very loving, and just wanted to be around my bf and I. But when I took him to a new vet on Monday, he lost movement of his left leg and was complaining non stop when he was brought home. That night, I positioned him between my legs, and I don’t know if he was sleepy or actually comfortable, but he slept there a good while. That day before work,my cat just looked miserable, and didn’t even have enough strength to I told my cat I loved him and my memory is foggy but I do believe I to take himself to the bathroom. I cleaned him and tried to console him, saying that I would take his pain away soon so don’t worry, and I apologized to him over and over again that he was in pain. I also took his bell collar and attached it to my bag because something just told me to carry a piece of him to work with me.On my way to work I would randomly start crying, not because I knew he had a couple of hours to live, but I was struggling with taking him to the vet tomorrow to euthanize him. On my way home, I just kept thinking that our last night together would be miserable for him, in fact..I had mix emotions for wanting to be home with my baby, but not wanting to be home. As I was walking home, for some reason I imagined my cat walking beside me..and when I was a good 5mins from my apt, I felt a gust of wind come at me. It was weird since that day was not windy at all, and that gust of wind just felt different, alil familiar, but different. I knew when I got home..I knew something bad was going to be awaiting for me..and I wasn’t going to like it. As I made my way up the stairs, I smelled incense burning, and my bf was at the door to greet me. I asked him if Felix was dead, and he opened up our door room to show me my cat curled up in the towel I left him in with flowers and the my t-shirt that I let him lay on.
    I cried…I screamed…I kept apologizing to my cat saying I was sorry he died without me. My bf also told me when he got home from work, it sounded like my cat called my name,I heard him do that before so I believed him, but my cat died with my bf who he also loved so I do feel some comfort with that. I also believe that gust of wind was my cat telling me goodbye.

    Its amazing how one can get so attached to a dog,a cat, etc knowing that we will 95% of the time out live them. That was the last thing on my mind when I saw my Felix for the first time and picked him out from the litter. I’am still coping, watching videos of us together and remembering the fun we got into is making me cry non-stop, but if I had to do it all over again..I would. I know I’ll get another cat in the future, not to replace Felix, but because he taught me just how special having a bond like this is. Cats/dogs/etc are truly the the best non-human friend one can have in life. I love my Felix, and I know if there’s an after life, that he’s waiting for me, just like he would always wait for me to come home from school/work/vacations…cause that’s how much we loved one another.

  128. evojem says:

    i had a dog since it was a little puppy but it grow quite quickly and my landlord said i had to move or get rid of the dog, he was a russian wolfhound which i paid 450 pound back in 2002 for pure breed, i left him with my parents house and visted him when i could and on this easter just past he died, i wernt there for him and blame myself for his death, he was such a lovely companion i wish i could have been there for him and it hurts me to think of him not being here anymore. :(

  129. Vanessa says:

    I am sorry for everyone’s loss. I too just had to put down my cat who was 20 years old. Granted she lived a long life but that doesn’t make it any easier. I got her when I was just 5 years old and she’s always been apart of my life, my security blanket, my connection to who I am. Putting her down is one of the most painful things but her time was coming whether I liked it or not. :(

    I think crying it out and thinking about all the great times you shared is really the best cure. You’ll never forget your pets and you’ll always miss them but I like to think that there presence made me part of the person I am today, so in a way, they always move on.

    I am going to donate my unused food from her and a small monetary donation to our local animal shelter in her honor. At least that way through her death and spirit another pet can be saved to grace someone else’s life.

    <3

  130. Becky says:

    I didn’t lose a dog or cat but my grief is still the same. I lost my sweet little bird lenard and am having the hardest time dealing with it. So sorry to anyone who has lost a pet that they loved.

  131. Kat says:

    I had to put my 6/7 year old cat Wills down on Tuesday. I got the call during lunch at work that they could not pass a catheter to help him with FLUTD. I had hoped all morning that this was just a hiccup and that in no time he would be back to normal. He was the best cat. He loved everyone and everything and even in his most pain he was bumping heads with everyone he met. I couldn’t afford the surgery and I couldn’t bear to put him through more pain for something that was going to impact his quality of life like that surgery would especially with the prognosis as poor as it was. I looked for him this morning out of habit and it was heartbreaking that he wasn’t there. The dog hasn’t been the same since and he is buried in the back yard. We have a new kitty today and she’s great in her own way but she’s not him (I didn’t expect her to be).

    I had to put my dog to sleep after about 10 years 2 years ago after he had a stroke that severely disabled him. I had to make the choice the night I got back from vacation and in a split second. Soon after I got a new puppy who is a great dog. He had lived many hard years with a seizure disorder and I know at the end he was frustrated by his own aging. I still look at his pictures and miss him.

    I looked at my pictures from when I moved into my house and had a little sad moment today. I have a picture of my Wills and my old dog and my other cat (who is still alive). Almost all my original pets from this era in my life are not here anymore.

  132. ss says:

    Jackie March 19, 2012 at 1:12 pm: I’m so sorry for your loss. The same situation happend with me last night, except right infront of my family. The ages of the two are identical and I don’t know what to do with my pitbul. everytime I see her I can’t help but feel mad/sad, but I don’t know whats the best way to deal with this. How did you deal with your 3 year old pitmix after the situation?

  133. Cathy says:

    Hi Everyone,

    My husband and I had to put down our cat (13 years) at the vet on March 17th. He had an inoperable tumor which was strangling his intestines. The vet said it had wrapped around and it could not be separated. This all happened very quickly–He was functioning regularly and then suddenly, two weeks prior, he began hiding in the basement, but coming upstairs for meals. At first we thought he was hunting a mouse; then I realized he wasn’t greeting us at the door when we arrived home. I am so devastated by this. I cry every day. He was one of my “closest friends,” and he grew up with our son. it is a chore to do housework now. He slept nearby or watched me. I used to tell him jokingly, “Oh you want to know how to do this.” I don’t want to get another cat right away although people have suggested it. I’m feeling angry–It was all too quick and I wished somehow I would have known that a tumor was growing inside him. Sometimes I wonder why I am carrying on like this. Does anyone have any suggestions about what I can do? I’ve looked at photos, to make a scrap book but it only makes me sob. He had soft black fur that sparkled in the light. I am thinking about running or doing yoga. Right now I’m feeling tired. I want to offer my condolences to all of you who have also lost a pet. We’ll get through this somehow.

  134. stacie says:

    On April 3 rd at 4:48 our 6 year old Pitbull/bestfriend crook past away.. after multiple trips to the vet we discovered he has a heart murmur and still to this day still don’t know what made him so sick that he stopped sting from one day to another and had a seizure and passed away we went to two vets offices when he first got sick and none could tell us what was wrong with him we gave him medicine and did everything we were advised to do, blood work , iv’s and everything else u can think of and we still lost him and don’t even know why. My family is devestated my husband and my daughter can’t eat sleep or barely talk without crying, our Boston terrier misses him as well all she does Is whine and cry by crooks side of the sofa, I feel like if I lost one of my children and my heart hurts, we sent him to be cremated so we can keep him here at home where he belongs I just don’t know how to fix myself let alone my heartbroken 9 year old daughter or husband. . We never thought this would happen this was so unexpected just last week he was perfectly fine. I’m so angry .. so hurt I don’t know what to do.

  135. Lesley says:

    Monday April 2nd, 2012 I lost my best friend Sovie. She would have been 13 on the 15th of this month. She was a German Shepard/Austrilian Shepard mix. I could never have imagined my life without her. She is/was my bestfriend. I sit here with a heavy heart and tears running down my cheek. She died in my arms Monday morning after having what we believe 2 seizures. My daily routine worked around her and now it is void time i do not know how to fill it. I wake up thinking i hear her nails beside my bed in the morning and I look over and she is not there. She never let me down, never ignored me, never disappointed me. I know i gave her the same respect and hope i never let her down. I miss her waiting for me everyday seeing her always changed my mood because no matter what mood i was in she always wagged her tail. This household has had a great many of struggles over the past 13 yrs and no matter what sovie and i were a team. when i was home sick she was aways beside me when i cooked watched tv sat outside sovie was always there. I am not dealing with this very well and have never expereinced a loss of a pet and only 1 loss of a family member about 14 yrs ago. Sovie I miss and love you sooooo very much. I hope wherever you are you are running with your mom and having a great time. Love you forever and always love your best friend. I will see you again someday.
    Mommy

  136. Aimee says:

    Today i lost my 12yr old cat monica and i am absolutly deversated and it was one of the most awful things i have ever been through, i have 2 cats they were mother n daughter and the daughter had to be put to sleep today and i dont know how im going to cope without her because she was my baby and i was her mummy and she slept with me and everything and im just so sad and crying all the time and i miss her soooooooooo much im devestated :( :( :(

  137. Kat says:

    I have just had my twenty year old cat put to sleep. I know she is at peace now and no longer in pain, but I miss her so much. The house is so quiet. She was our family and had shared so much with us. My mum is away and the hardest part is dealing with it all on my own. The tabby cat had seen me move out and get married recently but I would always return and visit my family home and give her lots of love and attention. I remember picking her as a only a kitten when I was 8 and giving her her silly name (Tabby Girl). It seems right but difficult that I should be the one to take away her pain. I had to be strong even though it’s hard. I love you and will never forget you. You helped me through my hard times too, comforted me and always made me feel better. Thank you. I hope you sleep peacefully now…

  138. Julie says:

    Kerri…I am so sorry for your loss. I know what you are going through. I lost my baby boy, Bailey, in June 2010 in a similar way. We were outside and he just fell over. I thought he was having a heat stroke but the next morning when we took him to the vet they ran tests and couldn’t find a heartbeat even though he was awake and alert. They told us a tumor had ruptured by his heart and his organs were failing. We took him home to spend a few more hours with him and so he could see Sadey one last time. They were our “golden” babies. Bailey was 12 when we had to put him down unexpectedly and this past December I had to make that dreaded decision to have Sadey put to sleep. She would have turned 15 last month. I am lost without either one of them here w with me. I really feel as if I have lost my whole world. A website has really helped me out, it is http://www.rainbowbridge.com. There is a pet loss forum on this website and you can go there to read others stories or share your own feelings….everyone on there is experiencing or has been through a similar loss. It is a very comforting site and has truly saved me and helped me get through each day.
    My heart goes out to you….
    Julie~

  139. Kerri says:

    Hi, I wanted to comment as I am feeling extremely lost at the moment. We lost our beautiful border collie only yesterday and am finding it extremely hard to deal with. He died suddenly with no real explantation as to why. We took him and our Newfie out for a wlk where he fell over we rushed to him and he started to pine (he never cried or made a peep) my hubby swooped him up and he passed out in his arms (stopped breathing) I screamed at him to come back to me and don’t u dare leave and he suddenly came back to us. Sadly on our journey home so could call the vet he went to go inside the house but he collapsed on our porch where we performed CPR but he didn’t come back to us. The vet said he was gone and she thought he had a tuma rupture. We had him privately cremated and he is back home with us once more. If he wished to die at home then we felt he deserved to come and stay at home with us instead of scattering. I just want some advice please how I can cope with this. He was my baby and we were extremely close. He was only 4. It has only been 31 hrs since we lost him. Thank u in advance :-)

  140. Jess says:

    We had to make the heartbreaking decision to put our 18year old cat Miffy to sleep this week. She was taken to the vet today, her body was giving out on her… she had been declining for months and this past week she had started getting worse and worse. Looking into her eyes you could tell she was miserable and in pain.
    The vet agree’d that tho they could prolong her life, there was no way to tell how long for, that the tests would cause her more pain and suffering and that even if she did live weeks more, there would be little quality of life. At the time it felt like the right decision, but now part of me can’t help but wonder…did we do the right thing?
    She was never the jump up on your lap and cuddle type of cat, she was often scared of everything..but she loved us, she would always be happy whenever someone would sit beside her and pat her.
    Right now i’m trying to move pass the guilt, everyone else is certain we did the right thing but i guess my grief for her loss is making it hard for me. I’ve had her in my life for so long that i don’t know what to do now shes gone, ever since I was 5 years old.
    Our other cat keeps wandering around the house, looking in all her hiding spots and trying to find her. It’s heart breaking to watch him and know that he will never understand :(
    But i hope wherever she is that she understands that we made this decision because we loved her so much, because we couldn’t stand to see her suffer so much. I love her, and no one could ever replace her :'(

  141. johnathon says:

    I just put my dog in the ground today. He was a Boudreaux pit by the name of winchester. I miss.him already. He was my first pup that I could call mine. He was very loving and would lick u to death instead of being aggressive like the rep. that pitbulls get. He was my pal and I love him and miss him and he won’t be forgotten. He had a favorite color. Red. He had a red everything. He was my best friend when I.didn’t have any. I love ya boy. See ya in when its time. R.I.P. Winchester

  142. Julie says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I know how heartbreaking this is for you and I share your pain and sadness. I made that dreaded decision this past December 12th and decided to put my baby girl to sleep. She would have turned 15 this past March 16th. I still miss her so much and have days where I break down sobbing like a baby. I sleep with her blanket every night. She was such a huge part of my life and 14 1/2+ years is a long time to share together.
    You should check out http://www.rainbowbridge.com. This website has a pet loss forum and it has literally saved me during these most difficult, painful, and sad days.
    My heart goes out to you….

  143. meljenks says:

    I had to put my 11yr 8mnth old white GSD to sleep on 31/03/12. he was diagnosed with a liver tumor on weds 21/03/12 and went down hill very quickly. I was so shocked on how quick it was. I miss him sooooo much, and it hurts!! the house is soo quiet now and i keep thinking i can hear him. I keep breaking down in tears, i passed the vets this morning and broke down. If i see any pictures of him i break down. I sleep with his lead and favorite ball. I will always love him and he will never ever be forgottern. How do i cope with this???? I feel so empty, like ive lost a piece of me.. How do i make this pain go away?? RIP my baby boy Zimba xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  144. Debbie says:

    We had to put our beloved beagle to sleep today. This has got to be the hardest things we have ever done. My heart is still breaking. On our last visit to the vets he said Bear had been through enough that it was time for him to be at peace. I knew this day was coming I guess I just wanted someone else to say it. So today was the day I said goodbye to my sweetie pie. He was my companion for the last 6yrs. We adopted him when he was 3 yrs old. The beginning of his life didn’t start out too good. He was abused but when we found him at the shelter and adopted him his life started over that day. We always promised him we would love him and take care of him forever, and we DID. Right up to being with him when he took his last breath. Now as I sit here at home and it’s night time I worry where is he…and I want him back. I want to hear him coming down the hall and see his sweet loving face when he comes to me for some lovin. I want him BACK!! I pray I can get through this grief. God bless everyone.

  145. John says:

    We adopted an eight year old Newfoundland just over a year ago. He was a lovely, friendly dog and loved people. We soon discovered he didn’t like to be taken by the collar if in trouble and snapped at me, our son and our neighbour. He didn’t give any warning or show remorse for this, which didn’t endear us to him.
    Last Saturday when I was trying to get him to go back to the house he went for me and gave my hand a nasty bite. Everyone, including the vet said I must have him put down. We took him for two lovely last walks. I wanted to give him another chance but my family all said no because we will never know when he may bite someone again.
    We took him to the vet and he was excited and pleased to meet someone new, little knowing he would never come out.
    Now I feel totally miserable and so depressed, I am surprised at the extent of my guilt and depression. He was 9 yers and 3 months, which is quite elderly for a Newfoundland but was healthy and I had him killed and I am feeling so miserable about that.

  146. Ashlyn says:

    My beautiful little boy had died 2 days ago, only that I found out yesterday. Maeko, my cat, was killed by a snake. He was my baby, and I miss him so badly. He was a Siamese cat, only 1 year and 4 months old. I am in so much pain. He’d picked his main owner which was me. He followed me everywhere and cried for me when I was gone. Wherever I sat, he’d always be on my lap. I miss your cuddles and your voice my baby, I miss you.

  147. Charlotte Daisy says:

    My friend of 15 years, Toffie, was put to sleep today. Having had her since I was 10 she has been with me throughout some of the most important times of my life so far. Fortunately, Toffie was a grand old age for a Cocker Spaniel. However, her health had deteriorated so rapidly that the decision to say goodbye today was sudden and unexpected. I am devastated, despite being her least favourite family member and sometimes nemesis, ha! She was full of character and personality – a comedian and an adventurer. I feel almost like the degree of sadness I am feeling at her loss is irrational in some way, but she truly was a member of the family. I think I am in denial somewhat, I am terrified of temporarily forgetting in the morning and experiencing that awful wave of devastating realisation. I miss her terribly already. I think I must have expected her to live forever. Losing something you love is awful. She has broken my heart.

  148. sherry says:

    Macy: I know it is hard even thinking of your pet not being with you. My dog was 15 in his last year and as he slowed down I knew it was only a matter of time before he would not be there. I would wake up and immediately look to see if he was still breathing. I often cried and talked to him just thinking of the loss. When I would get like that I would sit next to him and pick up a book I was reading and would read aloud. My voice seemed to comfort him and helped me to focus. It was almost like reading to a child, the child so interested and me really engaged in the moment. Enjoy the time with your pet and talk to them. They are your best listener and friend.
    After my dog was gone, I would hear a creak in the floor and think it was him for a moment. Looking around the corner and not seeing him in his spot, it takes time is what everyone says. Don’t deny your feeling and reach out for people who are receptive to understanding your loss. Sherry

  149. john cashman says:

    I PUT MY CAT MURRY DOWN YESTERDAY IM SO HEARTBROKEN I CRY ON A WHIM, I WAITED AS LONG AS I COULD I HAD 5 FRIENDS GO WITH ME AND CONSOLE ME IT HELPED A LOT I LIKE TO READ ALL YOU PEOPLE’S STORYS IT MAKES ME REALIZE IM NOT ALONE AND ALL OF YOU HAVE BIG HEARTS AND IM SURE OUR PETS WOULD NOT WANT US TO BE SAD SO DONT BE, NONE OF US DESERVE THAT.

  150. macy says:

    hello my name is Macy and I know this isn’t really helping writing about my dog that hasn’t even been put down yet, but we are getting him put down next Wednesday and all I can think about is what’s going to happen when he’s gone I cant stop crying and thinking about what I’m going to do also when he’s gone. Because all of the things I expect to hear like his nails making a sound on the floor or him snoring as he sleeps at night or him sneaking into my bedroom on sunny days and laying in the patch of sun on the floor or him barking at the garden door whenever he sees a fox or cat run across the garden! I want to know how everyone manages to cope because even though my pet has not yet been made to rest, It already feels like he has.

  151. Alison Younger says:

    Our beloved girl Celt had to be put to sleep yesterday following pyometra. We did everything we could for her (running up Vet bills in the thousands) but she developed septicemia, toxaemia, peritonitus and kidney failure. Even with all of these I prayed that a miracle would occur. My heart is breaking. I adored her and the house feels empty and cold without my beautiful best friend…:0(

  152. Jackie says:

    Our Miniature Schnauzer, April was killed on March 15, 2012, she was 12 years old she was killed by our other dog Roxy, whom was 3, she was part pit and Lab, they were best friends… so I thought… I came home from work to pick her up and take her to the groomers, which she loved! I came home to the back yard and found her mauled by Roxy. I was in disbelief! I have been crying non stop. I was so used to getting up in the middle of the night to put her to go potty so I was used to getting up when I heard her little nails hitting the laminate floor. I miss her terribly and feel so hurt. I pray that she didn’t suffer and died cold and alone, I hope it was instantly because she didn’t deserve to die like that. She was part of our family my twins are 12 and she was 12, she was with them there whole life. I feel alone and we can’t wait to see her again.

  153. Monica says:

    We had to put our beloved chihuahua to sleep yesterday. He was 8.5. His name was cracker. I am sooo sad., he was my best friend :(. I am in a stage of shock. I just can’t believe he is gone. I knew it was the right thing to do but I feel guilty because that dog loved me so much and I feel like I let him down. I love you my sweet baby cracker. Have fun in heaven.

  154. Tracey D says:

    Hi everyone,

    My name is Tracey and it’s been so helpful to read your stories.

    I am an animal nut – 3 dogs, 3 cats, 3 chooks and 2 fish.

    However, as of last night, I only have 2 cats.

    My middle child, Jasper, a gentle giant who was always everybody’s friend, always the welcoming committee for new animals and human friends, was hit by a car.

    I was inside the house at the time, and my boyfriend found him and wrapped him in a towel on the porch and came in to tell me.

    Here is my issue, and I know it’s not good to hold onto anger.

    My 3 cats are all Abyssinians, well-known to be inside-only cats. Even breeders used to only sell to me on the condition that I keep them inside.

    I lived in an apartment until last year when I moved into a house. I then mety boyfriend who moved in with me and slowly got his way of letting them out during the day as he said I was being cruel.

    I did see they were happier, but there were many times I’d see them crossing the road (we live in a quiet street) precariously, and especially when we would back our cars out of the driveway, I was always petrified that a cat would be under the car sleeping. He always maintained, and was too blasé that the sound of the car starting would always make them run off.

    Anyway, when I found my 7 year old baby in the towel I unwrapped him and held him close to me. He was still warm and intact, he still looked alive except for that his right eye had popped completely out of its socket and he had blood coming out of his nose and mouth. I held him for a while until he got cold and then we buried him.

    Obviously we cried a lot last night. However, things changed when my boyfriend admitted it had been him who had indeed, run over our precious friend.

    I am so numb I don’t know how to feel. I understand it was an accident and that he feels terrible and he considered Jasper one of his best friends, but I guess I’m angry because this is something I knew would happen. Especially Jasper was the slowest of our 3 cats. Even if you honked at him in the driveway he wouldn’t move.

    I guess I’m just angry that my boyfriend was so blasé. He has only been in my life for 7 months and shouldn’t feel he can treat my animals or tell me how to treat my animals in a certain way. You know when you’ve raised your babies a certain way and someone comes along and undoes all the teachings and leanings and lets them run amok?

    Can any of you suggest how I can deal with this?

    I’ve gone from being angry to his face, to supportive because I do know it was an accident and if it wasn’t one of us hitting him, it would’ve been a neighbour. But the point is, he was never meant to be outside in the first place.

    Now my boyfriend is finally listening to me and agreeing to keep the other two indoors, which is going to be difficult as they have now tasted freedom.

    Things are tough at the moment especially as my boyfriend’s dad died from cancer only a year ago and now my ex’s mum, who I was extremely close to, has been given less than a month to live. This has affected me greatly the last couple of weeks, and I was starting to accept it, now this.

    I am not silly and have things in perspective. I understand he is not one of my parents suffering from an in curable disease. I have unfortunately suffered my fair share of sudden, tragic human losses in the last few years. But this is not helping anything.

    Please help. It’s 7am here in Melbourne and I’ve cried all night. We buried Jasper in the front yard which means I have to walk past him everyday and somehow I’m finding this more daunting than comforting.

  155. Kelly Broderick says:

    To all the Mommies and Daddies of our furry babies…
    If it should be that I grow frail and weak
    And pain should keep me from my sleep
    Then will you do what must be done
    For this—the last battle—can’t be won.

    You will be sad, I understand
    But don’t let grief then stay your hand
    For on this day, more than all the rest
    Your love and friendship must stand the test.

    We’ve had so many happy years
    What is to come can hold no fears
    You’d not want me to suffer, so
    When the time comes, please let me go.

    Take me to where my needs they’ll tend
    Only, stay with me until the end.
    And hold me firm and speak to me
    Until my eyes no longer see.

    I know in time that you will see
    It is a kindness you do to me
    Although my tail, its last has waved
    From pain and suffering I’ve been saved.

    Don’t grieve that it must now be you
    Who has to decide this thing to do
    We’ve been so close—we two—these years
    Don’t let your heart hold any tears.

  156. tommy says:

    I put my cat Howard to sleep this morning. He was 15 1/2 years old. I feel guilt for not trying to extend his life but there really wasn’t much I could do.
    He was the best pet I have ever had. I will always remember how much he loved the sunlight and how unique his personality was. He was social with everyone and loved kicking my dog’s ass:)
    I too am crying as I write because I know vacuuming the hair off my couch will hurt me tonight. I love you Howard..”you have a lot of good qualities” and I will ALWAYS remember how happy you made me and how loyal you were. The biggest pain will be never having you sleep in between my legs again. I love you

  157. Anabelle says:

    hi im anabelle we just lost our dog pampam last night, its terrible the pain and sadness we felt cant simply put in words. others may find it silly but those only who experienced the unconditional love of their pets will understand this lost and pain . It was was hard and still is to feel helpless in watching your most love pet suffer in pain before dying. I feel guilty and helpless. I cant put my sorrow in words its just sad painful and heart breaking. it feels terrible and traumatic for me. =(

  158. Lou says:

    Julie,
    Thank you so much for your kind words, they helped me a lot ,and I am reading the book,
    I miss my dog everyday, as does his companion of 11 years, she is really not the same girl since Miller left us,
    The only thing that’s wrong with dogs is the short lifespan.

  159. Judi says:

    DIZZY

    D is for all the daily memories you gave me
    I is for the interesting things you did
    Z is for your zest for life
    Z is for your zany character
    Y is for all the years that you were with me

    Put them all together and they spell Dizzy
    Who meant everything to me
    My sweet little girl
    I love you always

  160. Judi says:

    Dizzy
    It will soon be two years that you are gone
    i still miss you so very much
    I think of you every day and think of all the wonderful memories of you that you left behind
    You were the best
    I will love you always
    You were such a joy in my life
    It is not the same with you gone
    I love you
    You are in my heart forever

  161. holly damelio says:

    Hello my name is holly and my beautiful cat was laid to rest yesterday. I feel so soso empty i cant even describe the lose i feel its devastating. He was my best friend his name was brother my only son at the time named him because he now had a little brother to take care of. Brother was so smart i spent every moment with him he was born with feline leukemia when we found him no bigger then the palm of my hand we all thought he was one of the few who survive because he was doing great I taught brother how to play peek a boo and when i said do u kove mommy he would respond yeah i am so sad im crying as im typing everything in my house reminds me all his sleeping spots his morning wake up jumping on my bed coming home from work he would be on the windowsill waiting for me all his snacky i feed before i left the house…. just everything please help me im so so so so sad i cant get past it……i miss you brother more then life itself… u will always be my best friend please come to momy in my dreams so i know your at peace ,, i love you forever n ever n ever….. mommy

  162. Joey says:

    Went to the local animal shelter. Wasn’t planning on getting a dog that day, just looking. All the dogs were barking as the people walked by the cages, all but one. Butch as named by the shelter just sat there shivering and liffting his front paw. A staff member said to me you’ve just been choosen. He was a 6 month old red nose Pitbull. On the ride home he put his head on my shoulder and sighed. My family pretty much fainted when they saw I adopted a Pitbull. It took months for them to trust him. As for myself trust was never an issue, my problem was I loved him so much all I did was worry about him. Other than work we pretty much went everywhere and did everything together. On car rides he wouldn’t jump around, he would just stare at me resting his head on my shoulder or make me hold his paw while he looked out the window. Over the years I’ve had people come up to me asking if he was a dog or a human because of his behavior, he was pretty amazing. So after 15 years he stopped going for walks. He had to be carried outside because he was having trouble walking up a few patio steps. I took him to the vet and was told what I already knew, he didn’t have much time. They gave pain meds and said just keep him comfortable. A few weeks later it got to the point he would lose his breath just taking a few steps. I knew it was time to let him go, the problem wasn’t just me not wanting to face it, it was also him not wanting to leave me and my family. On the day he was to be put down I called my mom, even with the meds to keep him calm, he heard her voice on the phone and struggled to get up. She’s been in a wheelchair since she was 21 and his always felt the need to protect her. The vet walked in ready to inject, but when she saw what was going on she couldn’t believe it. He was actually trying to tell us he wasn’t ready, she said as long as I carried him in and out to do his biz he could last a few more days. So I took him home, waited and watched. At 4am Sept 2011 he got up from his bed with labored breathing. I knew this time he wasnt going to catch his breath. I rushed him to the vet, got there in less than 3 mins. I watchd as they injected him, with in less than a few seconds he was gone. I stayed by his side awhile and told the vet a little about Butch. When I had to leave him at home I would give him a milkbone, when I returned he would fetch it, that was his way of saying he would rather have gone for a ride. I felt by telling her about Butch it might allow me to leave him there. I understood he was gone, but still couldn’t accept the fact he wouldn’t be coming home with me.

  163. Mournful says:

    Our 6 1/2 year old black lab: Sable, was hit by a car last evening 1/17/12 and they didn’t stop. She died shortly after that. It was devastating to see her just staring with shallow breaths. We took her to the vet who agreed to meet us at the clinic, but she passed away en route. I love her so much! My husband, children and I are going to miss her so much. I have every emotion that you could have right now and feel awful. I have guilt- b/c I feel like- “I shouldn’t have left her out,” “I should have called her 5 minutes sooner to come inside.” Sable- you will always be held close to our hearts. Thank you for 6 1/2 awesome fun filled years that we shared with you. I am sorry that it was cut short. You will be loved and thought of always!

  164. Alina says:

    my puppy died january 8th, 2012. I say the date, because although it has been only 10 days, I feel like a thousand years have passed.

    her name was Jacky, she was an English Cocker Spaniel.She was eleven years old this past July, but I always said she’s a puppy cause she was as loving and as lovely and playful as one.

    she had times when she was sick, and tummy aches. but she was taken from me brutally and unexpectedly.
    even though she always had food in her plate, and we gace her all our left overs, she was always a hungry at heart dog.
    on Sunday of last week she picked up something while I was walking with her. by the time I’d noticed she’d already swallowed it, and I assumed it was just random junk.
    that evening she died of strychnine poisoning. I was an hour away from home when my mom had called me in a panic saying that my dog fell down while walking and started twitching. by the time I had gotten home through rush hour traffic, she was gone, her body stiff, her eyes empty, but she was still warm. I cried like I’ve never cried and screamed in agony like never before in my life. I hugged her lifeless body and accidentally squeezed her chest, making air come out of her lungs. oh god, that sound, I started shaking her like crazy, thinking maybe she’s still alive and just paralyzed.

    I’ve had her since she was a tiny 1.5 months old pupppy, and I was 9.
    I grew up with her, and she was my everything. it always was just me, my mom and Jackie. I feel like my family has been torn apart. it’s so difficult. the first week I cried myself to sleep every night. today I only cry a bit. my house feels so empty and quiet. every time I come home I expect her to come jumping at me, and rip off my head phones like she always did, and when I bend down to hug her, to shove her cold nose in my face and sniff happily.
    I don’t know what to do, I feel so lost without her. only after losing her I realized that even though I thought I was taking care of her, she was actually taking care of us.

    I want to feel warmth again, and to pick up a new dog at a shelter,
    but only a week and a half had passed, I feel like a horrible person for even thinking that. as if it shows that I didn’t love her and that she’s replaceable. I know I loved her with all my heart, and gave her all my love and the best life I could.
    she was such a beautiful dog, is it wrong if I want the same breed?
    I just feel like a horrible person,and no matter how much I tell myself, there was nothing I could do to help, the “what ifs” keep coming. I try to console myself that although she died in pain, she had suffered only a couple of minutes.

  165. Claudia says:

    I lost a very special cat named Meeko today. He was the best cat I’ve ever had and he was so unique to me. He got an infection over the weekend and we didn’t take him to the vet until Monday MLK Day and the vet told us that he wouldn’t make it. Well my family didn’t want to give up so we took home a water iv and antibiotics for his paw. My sisters and I stayed up until 4:00 am to keep giving him treatments and at one point he was purring. We were so happy and enjoyed the moment. Well we decided to let him sleep and we woke up to him being worse. He didn’t move himself at all and his eyes were just open and he was meowing. We decided that we wanted to put him down so we called the Vet but they wouldn’t be back from lunch until two hours later. He ended up passing away before we could take him to the vet. I feel so guilty for making him suffer until he died. I just can’t get the image of him in pain out of my head. I miss him so much and I feel so empty without him. I’ve never been so close to an animal in my life. :'( I am glad he isn’t suffering anymore. I just wish he didn’t die in such a painful way :'(

  166. George says:

    We had to put our female shepherd mix Maggie to sleep today due to inoperable tumors. She was 14. She was the best dog my family has had. We rescued her from the pound. She was loveable, friendly and protective. Was a great guardian of your home. It came so fast yet we knew for the past year that this was coming. But we made sure to spend time with her before we had her euthanized. She was still her playful self with no idea. I personally could not go to the vets and had my two oldest sons and wife take her.
    I can’t stop crying.

  167. Hannah says:

    My cat, Tiddles was my ginger little ball of fluff. We kept him out of a litter of 5, he was only 18 months old when he died on 12th January 2012, I was so so so upset :'( The thing is, he had only been acting out of the ordinary for 4 days, but it gradually got worse and on the 11th he wasn’t eating anything at all. On the morning of the 12th I had to go to school, and so gave Tiddles a big kiss and stroke as I knew he was in pain. My mom and dad rang the vets and they went while I was in school :( the vet told my mom that he was in severe pain and would be best to put him down :'( the worst feeling is not being able to say bye to him:'( I was so upset I couldn’t stop crying. Even now writing this I cant stop myself. I loved him so much I spent most of my time with him! We have another cat but he doesn’t like me:’) Tiddles just wouldn’t stop purring around me, even the things I hated about him, nibbling my toes and biting my nose.. I still miss those things.
    I loved Tiddles so much, just wish he could have lived a little bit longer :(

  168. Sam says:

    My 12 year old dog Trigger was put to sleep yesterday. His health only started to deteriorate around two weeks ago but in the end he was suffering from Kidney and Liver failure. Even though I know it was the kindest thing to do to stop him suffering, it feels like it’s all happened so fast.
    I’m glad I didn’t miss the chance to day goodbye, but it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, I’d had since I was seven. He was the cutest puppy and the most loyal dog.
    I miss you Trigger.

  169. Peter Tyack says:

    The Power of the Dog

    There is sorrow enough in the natural way
    From men and women to fill our day;
    And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
    Why do we always arrange for more?
    Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware
    Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

    Buy a pup and your money will buy
    Love unflinching that cannot lie–
    Perfect passion and worship fed
    By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.
    Nevertheless it is hardly fair
    To risk your heart for a dog to tear.

    When the fourteen years which Nature permits
    Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,
    And the vet’s unspoken prescription runs
    To lethal chambers or loaded guns,
    Then you will find–it’s your own affair–
    But…you’ve given your heart for a dog to tear.

    When the body that lived at your single will,
    With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!);
    When the spirit that answered your every mood
    Is gone–wherever it goes–for good,
    You will discover how much you care,
    And will give your heart for the dog to tear.

    We’ve sorrow enough in the natural way,
    When it comes to burying Christian clay.
    Our loves are not given, but only lent,
    At compound interest of cent per cent.
    Though it is not always the case, I believe,
    That the longer we’ve kept ’em, the more do we grieve:
    For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,
    A short-time loan is as bad as a long–
    So why in Heaven (before we are there)
    Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?

  170. Devin says:

    I am 17 years old. I woke up a few days ago to get around for school. Shortly after I was around we noticed one of our four miniature dachshunds was missing. His name was scout. He was everyones favorite. Always fun, and never loud. Anyways, my dad began to get frantic looking for him. He went around the neighborhood thinking he crawled under the fence when let out. I looked around the fence, and realized he couldn’t have gotten out. We all began looking inside for him. When we couldn’t find him, my dad left again. I looked over shortly after he left and noticed our puppy was staring at the hideabed couch that company had been using. My dad had put the bed up that morning. I didn’t want it to be true, but looked anyways. I slowly unfolded the mattress, and I saw the lump. It was baby scout scout. My mother was in hysterics. I still cannot get the image out of my head. He had suffocated. No more details are needed. I want to believe he didn’t suffer. I just can’t believe something like that happened to our family. My dad feels terrible. He cried like a baby. As did everyone. I broke a door, and got sick, but still went to school. I just haven’t been able to sleep. I miss my buddy. He was my one true best friend. What do I do? Please?

  171. Melissa says:

    This morning I had to put my 11 year old cat down. She has been with me through the best and worst of times, and a part of me died with her today.

    It was very sudden, two days ago she started to act strangely, hiding, then last night breathing very heavily, laying in her litterbox, etc. I took her to the vet this am, and things just went from bad to worse very quickly. She had 60ml of fluid drained from her lungs, but the vet said she had lymphomic (sp?) cancer, and that this would happen again. We spoke with a surgeon about doing an ultrasound and then removing any cancerous tumors but the surgeon was honest with us and let us know that it wasn’t worth it. That she probably wouldn’t survive the surgery and even if she did, the cancerous cells would return. Even if we bought her more time with a risky surgery and she survived, her quality of life would be awful. We didnt really have a choice and that did make it somewhat easier, but I took her in this morning NEVER expecting not to return home with her.

    It was quite a shock, and this was my own very first pet. I’m still in shock, can’t stop crying, it’s exhausting. It all happened so fast that I haven’t had time to understand that she is sick let alone no longer with us. I hope tomorrow gets better. I know that I’ll never stop missing her and I’m okay with that. She was a wonderful, loving cat, and deserves to be missed. Right now she’s in kitty heaven and I can’t wait to see her one day.

    Bless everyone that has also lost pets. :)

  172. Kyle says:

    Last Monday my cat got hit by a car we saw the accident. i miss my Fuzz-Fuzz so much. My last memory of him was him going to bed in my room.:( My dogs sparky and puff are constantly sniffing at his grave wanting him to come out and play.;(

  173. Nikki says:

    I lost my beagle Lucky on Monday Jan 9th. Lucky was 10 years old and I had him since he was two months. Lucky meant everything in the world to me and as I sit in write this I cannot believe he is truly gone. He had many health problems throughout the years but he always managed to bounce back. This time started out like any other, I thought he just had an upset tummy however in the back of my mind I hand a bad feeling. I remember telling my husband over the phone the day before I had to put Lucky to sleep that I thought He was dying. I took him to the ER Vet on Sunday and they hospitalized him over night and gave him fluids and ran some tests. He had some abnormalities come back about his liver but I still thought it was fixable. The next morning my dad picked him up for me at the vet because I had to work and when they got him home he could barely even walk on his own. We took him to his regular vet and couldnt even get him to walk. We had to have the vet come and get him out of the car. The vet said she could run some more test like ultrasounds and stuff but she believed it was either a tumor in the liver or liver failure. I couldnt image making him go through any more tests. He was so tired he could barely even open his eyes and couldnt even move. I had him put to sleep so he wouldnt be in any more pain, but mine has just begun. It all happened so fast. He has had a lot of problems including cancer that I thought was in remission, but at the time right before this happened he seemed to be okay. This all happened over like a 36 hour period. I cant put into words how I feel now. I am so devastated I can barely even stand it. All I do is cry. I cant stand being in my apartment as it is so empty and lonely without him. My husband is in the Army and is currently gone and Lucky was all I had and for the last 10 years all I needed. He was like a child to me. I lived to take care of him, he was my world and now my world is gone. I feel like I lost a part of myself. I dont know what to do I feel like my world is crumbling down around me. If anyone has any advice please share.

  174. Cory Mckenna says:

    my cat sam died today Januray 10 he was 20 years old i was at school when all this happend I love him so much and will never foget him.He wasnt acting himself he would always go and hide and one time in the morning he was trying to walk and he just fell right over he was the most lovable cat evryone loved him he would always come and sleep with me at night he was ever since he turned 15 he was never playful he never played with anything and i knew that it was going to be soon that he would die about 6 years past and my mom said that she was going to be putting him to sleep so i stayed by his side as much as i could but today i got home from school and my mom came into my room and tolled me she had buried same at that time i busted out crying she tolled me she was outside when it happend he died in my dogs small bed that he loved to sleep in i couldnt stop crying i love you same and i promise i will see u in another life i will never forget about u no cat could ever replace you love sam.

  175. Jill says:

    I had to put my 8 year old kitty Simon down on 1/4/12 due to kidney failure. I was right by his side the whole time. He put up a tough battle, but it was finally too much to handle and the fluid treatment was no longer working. I am really sad because he was best friends with my dog Joey and now Joey is looking for him in my apt and even barking near Simon’s bed. :( I have 2 other cats as well (older) and they’re great. There’s just that void of not having my silly Simon around anymore. I live alone and it’s tough being home, but I know I have to be there for my other pets. It’s comforting to read others’ stories because I know that I’m not alone. I will miss you Simon Pissypants and I love you forever. xo Mom, Joey, Rocky and Apollo

  176. Kitty says:

    My cat, Dali Boots was knocked down 2 days ago. I am devastated. I loved him like my baby and he loved my son and me too. He was the best cat in the world. I’ll miss kissing his little head, the way he cuddled up to me, his big loud purr when I told him I loved him. So many memories. Dali Boots you’ll NEVER be forgotten or replaced. You were unique and very special and loved greatly. Forever in our hearts. See you in another life xxx

  177. Brittany says:

    Caramel
    This morning my dad wanted to take are dog to the vet because she was coughing a lot. They said she wasnt coughing she was trying to breath because her tumor was blocking her breathing way. They gave my dad a choose but we didnt wanna give her surgery because it may not work and my dad didnt want her to suffer. So my dad called me and my sister and i and told her where going put down we where all cryimg.It was terrible i never felt so sad in my entire lifee. So they put her to slep and my dad saw it he was crying. All these stories make me feal im not alone i really do miss her so much and cant stop crying. My dad loved that Dog so much and keeps askimg me if was the right choose. Caramel hasnt been acting her self for the last 4 months. Not as hyper, slower and i just hated seeing her like this. Im never lost somethimg real close to me before. You know what they saw shes in a better place now. But i recomond this book dog heavean. A heart warming book about loosing your dog. It really helped and it makes you smile. Im 15 years
    Old so im deffintly gettimg another dog when im older.

  178. Emma says:

    I lost my 3 year old cat 7th yesterday morning. I’ve never felt anything like it. He had Cerebral Palsy and we got him when he was a few months old. I feel guilt because I was not there when he died. It doesn’t feel real. He was the most affectionate cat in the world.
    Rest in peace Mog. I’ll never forget you.

  179. Loretta says:

    I’m sorry to hear of everyone’s loss. I lost Molly, the most fantastic cat of 10 years, before Christmas. I made the most difficult decision to put her down. One that I don’t know if I can forgive myself for. She had been diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in her right hind leg in August and it was amputated. It had been caused by a vaccine. We managed through the amputation and her becoming a tripod over 6 weeks and she was doing very well. Then in the last while I noticed her becoming quieter, not moving around as much. On December 5 I came home to find her under a blanket on the floor – it had been on the sofa and given it was slippery, I blamed myself for leaving it there as she must have fallen. She could not stand on her front left leg, it had no feeling or strength. I took her to the vet, he said torn muscles. Overnight her paw became rigid, paw pads turned purple and stiff. I took her back – they thought brachial plexus injury with nerve evlusion or blood clot. The heart blood test confirmed that it was likely a blood clot. I was told to be patient as the power to the leg could return over time. Her paw then swelled up and necrosis (death of tissue due to lack of blood supply) set in moving past the paw and now up the wrist. It seemed to be painful as it occurred but then would subside as the tissue died. Her fur fell off and the tissue looked like dried red meat – it was horrible. She was still drinking a lot and eating a little. Could get around a bit but needed to be contained. Purred and interacted a bit, used her one paw to make bread. I was so nervous for her so I asked the vet to make a house call. She said that it was not going to get better and the only option was amputation. But how could I amputate again and leave her with two legs. Her heart was changing in the rhythm and the vet couldn’t risk surgery anyway. We decided to euthanize due to fear of infection and now I think it was too soon. We had figured out a system of how to manage and I’m so angry with myself that I went with the vet’s guidance. Molly fought them and I feel that I betrayed her. I feel so sick about it and I believe she still wanted to live. I’m just so heartbroken and feel that I let her down.

  180. suz says:

    lost my smashing boy on 29th december, 6 days ago, i am so heartbroken and i feel so guilty, vet thinks his tummy twisted, the worst is that it happened during the night while he sleep down stairs with my other dog, we heard nothing and found him in a cruel state that morning, rushed him to vets but it was too late, my other dog had him soaked in licks from trying to comfort and ease his pain :-( he showed signs that night of having a tummy upset but i just put it down to overeating that day, if only i took him to bed with me, i buried him that evening in 2 blankets all snug and warm with his teddy, the spot where we buried him is lovely, high in the hills overlooking our town, his happy out chasing the sheep i’m sure.. :-) we have two dogs left now at home and the void of my third dog is dreadful, i feel sick and empty, no mass in eating or socialing, i will never forget him, i wish the months would hurry past so this pain i feel would pass, night night handsome boy x x x

  181. Julie says:

    Lou, my heart breaks with you…I am so sorry to hear about your boy Miller. Like you, I made this painful & heartbreaking decision 21 days ago today. I decided to put my little Sadey (Golden Retriever) to sleep too. She would have turned 15 this March.
    It was the most difficult decision I ever had to make….one I still find myself questioning a few times each week. Yesterday and today I am having a very hard time with many, many tears.
    I just finished reading a book, “A Big Little Life” by Dean Koontz this morning. This was a beautiful tribute to is Golden, Trixie. I cried my eyes out at the end because like us they decided to put Trixie to sleep to so she wouldn’t suffer and die in pain. I quote from the book, “I didn’t want this brave dog, this creature of such fortitude and fine heart, to hear her own cry as the last sound she knew of this Earth. In her final moments, I meant to help her be what she had been during her entire life: an embodiment of quiet courage, unbowed by suffering.” Reading this gave me a little peach…I hope more peace will come with time. I recommend this book if you are a reader, as it describes the loving bond we share with our golden retrievers. I also recommend that you look up “The Last Battle” poem…I have this on my refrigerator, each time I read it I cry many tears but it helps me remember that I did the right thing by helping her go peacefully while she still had some dignity left.
    Sadey has had arthritis for a couple years. She quit going upstairs to our bedroom probably about 2 years ago. She could not jump on and off our pontoon boat but we would lift her on and off as she still loved to swim and she would swim all day if we let her.
    She was taking deremax which helped but the last couple weeks I started to see a change in her…she seemed to be in pain when getting up, going outside to go the bathroom, just to lie down on the floor or her bed, etc. She also wasn’t eating as much. I was concerned about the medicine and her liver, although she just had bloodwork in Sept and it was fine. We took her to the vet on Wed Dec 7th…she had a high urine level and xray showed a very full bladder and her back full of arthritis. The dr gave us prenisone to try and see if that would help ease her pain and be able to go the bathroom. She did seem better by Friday but we had a few scary moments with her through the weekend. I did alot of searching online trying to find the answer to how one knows when is the right time…I found some things that helped me and I rated on a “Quality of Life” scale. The bottom line is, we love our golden babies so much, I dont think there is or would ever be a “right time” for us…as the line in “The Last Battle” says, “For on this day, more than the rest…Your love and friendship must stand the test.”
    I still cannot believe that she will never be by my side again, and I won’t be able to hold her, hug her, and kiss her. That is what I have the hardest time with. I try to remind myself that she is free of pain now and running, playing and swimming with Bailey (our 12 yr old golden we had to suddenly put to sleep in Jun’10)….they are happy together again and watching over me.
    I wish I could tell you what will take this pain & sadness away but I don’t have an answer…I think it is just time that will heal. I don’t think we will ever get over the pain and sadness, but with time we will learn how to be able to live with it.
    Sending you hugs and keeping you in my prayers for the strength we need to pull us through our heartbreaking losses.
    **Hugs**
    ~Julie

  182. lou says:

    It has been 27 agonizing hours since my beautiful Golden retriever Miller was put to sleep.
    I am having an extremely difficult time coping with the loss.
    He was two weeks shy of his 13th birthday, the most amazing dog i have ever known , from day one, he needed no leash, he walked when i walked stopped when i did, he was so gentle and such a wise creature,

    he was a tall golden and so by 8 his hip began to deteriorate , we had him on rimadyl and metacalm and at the end tramadol,
    i can’t help feeling guilty about putting him down, was it too soon ? he was not blind or deaf
    but his hips hurt , and sometimes i had to prop him up on them , maybe i should have waited longer, it is such a hard decision to make.

    i miss him like nothing i have ever felt before, and normally as i typed on the computer he would come over and nudge my hand, ( to me this was a bit irritating) well i wish he was here to nudge my hand now.

  183. Chris says:

    Thank you all for sharing your stories and your feelings. I know now that what I’m feeling is normal and from what I’ve read here and on other websites, writing about her may help me cope. My family has been understanding but I don’t want them to feel bad and I know this is going to take me some time.

    My Brownie died 3 days ago on December 29th. She would have been 12 years old this May. I got her when my children were 3 and 5 years old because I wanted them to have a dog at my house like they had at their Dad’s. I was always a cat person-I never would have believed I would come to love a dog some much that it would hurt like this to lose her.

    I’m not exactly sure when she became my best friend. She was a miniature Dauschand with such personality and character. She had such unconditional love for me. She followed me all over the house. Wherever I was sitting or sleeping, she was right there and she could never get close enough to me. Sometimes that annoyed me but now I just can’t imagine sitting on the couch will ever be the same. I don’t think she knew she was a dog. Sometimes she would lay on my bed on her side under the covers with her head on the pillow just like a person. She wouldn’t eat out of her food dish. She would take a mouthful of food and carry it into the living room and eat it there. She would only eat when we were home. She loved to burrow under blankets and under the pile of pillows on my bed. I’ve decided that when I think about her I will try to remember my favorite memory of her. She would bury herself under the stack of pillows on my bed. When I would call her name, she would stretch her neck and pop her little head up between the pillows- all alert and happy to see me. I have a few pictures of her doing this and this is how I will remember her.

    Brownie had been losing weight- gradually at first and then it started increasing more rapidly. I searched online to see what could be wrong. She was eating normally, was active, no signs that she was in pain or had anything at all wrong with her. I took her to the vets two weeks ago and they did several blood tests but couldn’t find anything. They wanted to do additional xrays and a test for a pancreas deficiency which I did not have the money for. They gave me an antibiotic for her gums that were a little swollen and we made an appointment to come back in two weeks. I feel like I’ve failed her because I didn’t have the money to take her to the vet earlier when she first started losing weight and maybe I would have had a few more years with her.

    Thursday night my son brought her to come pick me up from work. She walked to the car and was even trying to climb over into the front seat. He picked her up and put her in the passenger seat. When I opened the door to get in I picked her up to hold her on the ride. She acted spacey like she had just woke up. As I was holding her I felt a twitch and I held her closer because I thought she was cold. The twitching increased and then I noticed her mouth foaming a little. At the appointnment the Dr told me if she had a seizure to come back in immediately. I realized she was having a seizure so we rushed to the Animal Hospital. On the way, I kept asking her to come back to me. She didn’t seem like she knew me. A few times I saw her eyes get lively looking and she even blinked. She even gave me two short barks. Then I noticed the twitching slowing down and I looked at her face and her eyes were open and she looked like she was resting. Then I looked at her eyes again and they were closed. She looked so peaceful that I was hoping she might be sleeping. We were at the hospital then. They took her and came back to tell me she had already passed on.

    I worked a little later that night and part of me thinks if I had gotten home sooner or if we had gotten to the hospital sooner maybe she would still be with me. I believe she held on and waited for me. I’m thankful I was able to spend her last minutes with her.

    I know now that God gave her to me and I guess when it was time he took her from me. I think he knew I would have struggled if I had to make the decision to put her to sleep if her illness had progressed. I will never forget her. Thursday and yesterday I cried all day. Today I cried but tonight I was able to talk with a friend about some of my special memories of Brownie and I was able to smile thinking about them. From what I’ve read on the internet, eventually the hole in my heart will close and the crying will stop. In the meantime, my ex husband’s dog, who has adopted me as her Mom, is with me. She’s sad too. Gracie and Brownie were inseparable since Gracie was born 8 years ago. The two of us will get through this together.

  184. Brittany says:

    all these stories r so sad…I had a cat but her name was babygirl she was my everything. She slept with me every night followed me all around the house….purred so loud u cld hear her in the room next to you…..she passed away today Dec 30 2011 she was very sick the day she died i knew she wasnt goin to make it i was able to tell in her eyes and the way she was acting….i was holding her in my arms talkin to her tellin her how much i love her and how much i needed her to stay and fight then she gave me the biggest happiest smile ever as if she was tryin to tell me she loved me and that everything would be ok and then she passed away right in my arms i have cried for 3 hours straight so far im goin to miss her but i hope shell wait for me at the gates in heaven so we can b together again…..love you babygirl rip my beautiful angel!!!!

  185. Julie says:

    Janette,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I share your pain and sadness. I put my little girl, Sadey to sleep on December 12th and I find it so hard to move on without her. I am very upset and lost without her by my side.
    I have found great friends who are all experiencing the painful grief on http://www.rainbowbridge.com in their “Pet Loss Forum”. You may want to go to this forum and check it out. It has helped me greatly since I found the site last week.
    I wish I had words to help take your pain & sadness away. Unfortunately I do not and it really hurts….I am hoping we will heal with time and become stronger and be able to remember our loved ones with happy memories and smiles will replace our tears one day….
    **HUGS**
    Julie~

  186. janette says:

    This Christmas was by far the worst Christmas I’ve ever had. ChristmS day I decided to not go out since my family celebrates on Christmas eve. But but evening my roomate wanted to go to her dads house to get some food. So I decided to bring randy, my one year old maltipoo, along so he can come out and not be stuck in the house again. We eerr just going to get my roommate some food n leave. We ended up staying a little longer because we were mingling and randy was having fun playing with another dog. But now its getting Kate but randy doesn’t want to leave. I pick him up and walk to the car. Like always I put him down by the car so he can jump in. But this time he saw another dog a ran towards it. This dog was a huge pitbull that had a leash but.the people walking him were not holding on to it. Once randy saw that this pit was not trying to play he ran but the pit caught him and grabbed on to his dlittle tummy. I did not know what to do the guy told me to not try to break it up. But my dog looked like a rag doll! I couldn’t stand hearing his yelling cuz of the pain.I grabbed the pits leash n told the man to pull it. I don’t know how but the pit finally let my randy go. It was too late, but I didn’t know that yet. I picked him uo and put him ontop of my car. His litle eyes should fear and helplessness. I tied to make him move his legs but.he couldn’t and he had his tummy swollen and bleeding. I didnt want any.water. I rushed him to the emergency vet. It’s messed up that no one would do anything unless try knee try were going to get paid. I’m broke I have no money. They time me that they were going to have to do surgery. His stomach was filled with some fluid and they weren’t sure what was pierced. By this time he lost so much blood they had to do a blood transfusion which he wasnt responding to. The vet came back out and told me that the pit must have bitten through nerve because randy was not responding to the reflex checks on his hind legs. And asked me if I still want them to try surgery. I told her yes I just want my randy. But then she gets a call saying the he.died already.but then they call back and said they got a heart beat. This was horrible! She stated that from experience that dogs in such a bad condition usually.don’t make it through the surgery so suggested euthanasia. I didn’t want randy to.suffer anymore so I said ok. I couldn’t believe I.gave them permission to kill my bubby (I called.him that) so they did it. I felt so guilty and mad at myself. Had I not put.him down to jump in the car he would still be here. I can’t sleep. All I think about is his cries during the attack and his face after the attack…his dying face. Any suggestion on erasing this image of my bubby would be appreciated. I feel like I failed him.humane society went to check the pit out for any rabies etc not knowing that my bubby was killed by it. So.they said now that its dead that that make the pit dangerous and that they will need to go get him. So as of now I have a vet bill of over $1300. The pit owner is nice but she.has no money and no job. But says that she’s going to try to get money.to help pay. I dont want to sue. Money isn’t going to bring randy back. Yesterday when I finally went to sleep I woke.up so happy. I dreamt that randy jumped on my bed and I was petting him and I got up and saw my.sister and my Bruce in the living room giggling because they told me that they had connections to a great vet that brought randy back to me nice a healthy. But then I realized it.was just a dream. I started looking at all the pics and funny videos but that still didn’t help.I still thought of his last moments. Randy was my first pet. He made me smile everyday. I made him happy. He was sooo loving and playful.he always wanted someone to chase him and he loved socks for some reason and bacon strips. I wish he didn’t have to go like this.

  187. Leelee says:

    Very sad story, my two dogs were killed in a fire 2 years ago and i never stop thinking about them. Still getting over it.

  188. Brimarie says:

    I don’t even know how to describe the heart ache but it has been 5 days since the devastating night that my dog left me and our family. He was more then a best friend to me, he was a therapist, a son, a protector. The house will never be the same. I was baking so cookies and making popcorn balls getting ready for christmas and did not want him to get into the sweets on the table and so my husband put him outside till I could get things put away but it was dark and the last person who came home did not shut the gate and usually even if my dog does get out he is two or three houses down anyhow it hadn’t even been 20 minutes and my husband discovered he was gone and that the gate had not been closed all the way. We all went to look for him including my mom in her van, me in my car and my husband in his truck. We called and drove around endlessly frantic but to no avail after 2 hours going up and down our neighborhood we couldn’t find him and we couldn’t sleep and then me and my husband went out again after we tried to figure out where he could be. We had no luck and our hearts sunk we just prayed the pound picked her up and couldn’t find out till the morning. I stayed up all night waiting to see if he would return and so that I could call the dog catchers but NOPE they hadn’t and ohh my heart shattered my little min pin mix is not people friendly. I was panicking so hard after finding out they did not have him. Then My husband did find him in the morning after looking for another few hours, he had been killed my a car and he came home cring like a baby it was then I knew and my heart broke and shattered he didn’t have to say a word I knew and fell to my knees. I can’t tell you how much my scoobs meant to me. He was like a child and he grew up to be my most beloved pet over the past 6 years. I have alot of guilt, regrets and trouble sleeping at night for the first two days I didn’t eat I just cried and cried, and my husband was blaming hisself and my mom herself it was terrible. The house was so quiet and even my 8 year old was trying to cheer me up He was the strongest one and told us when we where looking not to give up hope. My husbang picked up his remains and we had a burial in the back yard. We never imagined this could have happened we wanted him home so bad but not like that. It was tramatizing I feel so aweful but bringing him home we had a proper burial and gave him his favorite stuffed animal duck and his christmas stalking but oh man oh man my dog was honory, smart and I am still crushed. We ended up going to the pound and adopted a dog because she had a broken heart too with a sad story of what happened to her. Our hearts are still crushed but we are able to carry on without blood shot red eyes from our loss. Always loved and never forgot.

  189. Casey says:

    My dog Cowboy died yesterday. He was a Blue Heeler that I had since a pup, he was just short of his eleventh birthday. i miss him soo much, he was my best friend. We had so many good times over the years. I know he had a good life, I just wish I had spent more time with him, but I have had to work a lot the last couple of years. I think about him constantly, I hope he is in a better place without any more pain. his health had deterioated the last 6 months and I even contemplated putting him down, but then he perked up for a month or so. But he just really slowed down the last week, and was constantly breathing heavy and seemed uncomfortable in his last days. I wish I was with him when he died. he wasnt feeling good that morning, then i had to leave for an appointment, when my daughter called me and said he died. i rushed backed to the house and found him by the door, I wrapped him in a sheet and buried him in the woods where he loved to play his whole life. i will never forget you Cowboy. Good by old friend. I love you.

  190. Sophia says:

    Judy- I was heartbroken reading your message about Lacie back in October. I hope you’ve come to realize that you did the right thing. I am so so sorry it was not more peaceful for you and for Lacie. But I don’t think she suffered as much as she may have made it seem. In my experience dogs can be very dramatic about little pains. My vet told me that the sedative makes them feel euphoric.

    Thanks for your comforting follow up post. The poem made me cry. I had to put my cat to sleep yesterday . She was 12 and had cancer. It went so smoothly. But I cannot lie, I didn’t know it was possible to feel this much pain. My husband said it seemed as if I wouldn’t be able to go on with life. Sometimes it feels that way. I had pets growing up my she was my first baby- I have no kids except for one other cat. Patches was the most loving affectionate and even motherly cat. It feels like losing a child and a mother at the same time. Watching the life go out of her body may have been the most painful moment of my entire life. And I’ve lost grandparents and even my mother!

    This board is a great comfort. My husband and my friends have been amazing but you feel like no one really understands. You still feel alone. I feel less so now. Thank you and my deepest condolences to all.

  191. Julie says:

    It’s been eight days since I put my little girl, Sadey to sleep. She would have been 15 in March. She was a golden retriever. I haven’t been doing well the past two weeks.
    She has had arthritis for a few years now and trouble getting up for the past year. As long as we helped her when she needed it and assisted her up and down steps if needed she was still playful and loving…Then two weeks ago she seemed to be very unbalanced when she would get up to walk. I have always dreaded when the time would come…Then the week before she wasn’t really eating so I decided to call for a checkup. I was worried about liver failur since she was on arthritis medicine. The vet did bloodwork and an xray of her lower abdomen. He said her heart rate was elevated, the bloodwork looked good except for high urine level. Her bladder was very full…we thought she had been going the bathroom except for the most part except I didnt see her go for a day before I called. It makes me wonder if her bladder was failing too. The vet knew I wasn’t ready to say good-bye yet. He told me it was worth trying prednisone for a week and if no change within three days I had to make a decision. I stayed home from work with her for the next five days. She did begin to go the bathroom on her own outside, however I worried that this was only the medicine helping and once that was over in a week she would be in pain again. I didn’t want my last moments with her to be where something bad happened such as a broken bone from a fall or that she was so scared she didn’t know who we were, etc.
    It looked like it really hurt her to get up, to squat when she did go the bathroom, etc. I think for the past year she really tried to hide her pain just for our sake. I am feeling guilty today over my decision, “Why didn’t I wait until after the Holidays?”…but at the same time I was so afraid something bad would happen and then I would regret not letting her say good-bye peacefully and like all these sites say, “It is the last act of love you can give while she still has dignity”…I keep reminding myself she had the best 15 years ever…and she is now playing and swimming with our other golden, Bailey, who we had to put down unexpectedly last June 2010. He was 12 years old. I am so lost without my babies here though. Often when I am home alone I just break down and sob…I feel anger and why did she have to leave me? I wasn’t ready…but I know I probably never would be ready. She was my rock through all life’s ups and downs and always there for me whether I was happy or sad, excited or afraid, Sadey & Bailey always made me feel safe and loved. I have been sleeping alot because it is my getaway from the pain and sadness I am feeling. I am going to work but it is not easy…I often cry at times through the day when I think of Sadey and that she is not here for me to hold her anymore. I know everyone says “Time Heals”…I can only hope it will because I knew I would be very upset and have a hard time once Sadey had to leave me but I never expected it to hurt so much! I have tried to keep a journal of my feelings and I am going to add memories and pictures of both Sadey & Bailey to help me through. I haven’t moved her bed or her toys yet. I am not ready for this…I am trying to stay strong and keep going but it is the most difficult time I have ever been through.
    ~ Love & Miss You Forever Sadey & Bailey ~

  192. Michelle Miller says:

    I’m so glad that I came across this website. I feel so bad for everyone else struggling with the loss of their pet on here because I know exactly what everyone is going through. It is the ultimate worst feeling in the world.

    My family was anti pets for many years after my parents had lost their first dog. My aunt had called our family out of the blue asking if we would be willing to take in a jack russell terrier that was either being taken to the humane society or put to sleep. I begged my parents to allow us to take her in as our own (I was in 7th grade at the time) and finally they agreed.

    Her name was Molly and she was about a year and a half old when we had got her. Boy did she have some serious energy. She was also so hyper and fun. The perfect fit for our family. She was so loyal and my best friend. I grew up with her and she met all my homecoming dates, boyfriends, friends, classmates, family members, ect.

    Molly’s health was doing alright for her age. Back in August she had been acting sluggish so we took her to the vet. He prescribed some antibotics and she was as good as new. Just this past weekend she starting acting sluggish again which is about 4 months since her last visit. Apparently this is when female dogs goes thru their “cycle”. She had an infection in her uterus causing her discomfort since she was not fixed. The vet had talked to us saying that we could preform surgery so we agreed. He had said we should do blood tests and an x ray first to make sure that was all that was the matter. Well we got all the results back Tuesday morning and she had a huge tumor on her spleen. It was cancerous. Tuesday around lunch time she went in for surgery to remove the uterus and spleen. Surgery went as good as it could but she never woke up after surgery :(

    I’ve had a very rough past few days and i’ve cried so much. It hurts so much and it still doesn’t seem real. I keep subconsciously looking for her to come from the other room. I grew up with her. I start crying when I see the little white hairs on my bed spread because she always curled up by my feet at nights. I spent 10 years of my childhood with her. She was the only dog i’ve ever had.

    I have so many memories that make me cry right now to talk about but hopefully someday I can look back and laugh. Everytime I was sick with a cold she would find my tissues that I attempted to hide under my pillow away from her. She would shred them up into a million pieces almost like she was poking fun at me being sick. It always made me smile and laugh at her. She would also still my laundry out of my room and run with it through the house for all to see. I remember times she did this when company was over and there I would be chasing her because she had my clothes sometimes even underwear. She was the devil at times but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Molly also would take the toliet paper by the end of the roll and run into the kitchen with it. She liked to do the same with newspapers too. She was a riot to have around. If you ever had a cut on your hand/leg/arm or whatever she would come lick it like a little nurse. She was also a good watch dog and would hear anyone driving up our lane before we even knew anyone was coming.

    I miss her so much. My heart aches. I’m having the most difficult time with this and I don’t know how I will ever be happy again. I’m now 23 and out of college but I hope my family eventually considers another pet. Maybe not the same breed but something to liven up our household when I come to visit. I haven’t even cried this much when people close to me have died but Molly sure had a huge part of my heart. I’m seriously struggling so much :( I don’t know how to make myself feel better.. any suggestions would be great.

    R.I.P. Miss Molly — I hope there are plenty of tissues/toliet paper in doggy heaven and other things to terrorize. I will love you forever. No dog will ever replace you, ever. I may get another dog someday but it won’t be anything similar to you because you always have that spot in my heart as my first pup. Until we meet again.

    Michelle

  193. Donna Jean says:

    We rescued our cat from an abusive home when she was a year old. It took years to convince her that we (and the world) were not out to kill her but with a lot of patience and love we had her to the point where she slept under my husbands arm each night and was affectionate (although totally on her terms!) Last week our neighbours 2 large dogs escaped their house (again) and this time found our cat sleeping on the sunny deck of her private backyard and viciously killed her. Everyone keeps giving us the advice of “Just think of the 10 years of good life you gave her”. If I had had to take her to the vet and humanely had her put to sleep, or if she had died from natural causes I believe losing her would be very sad BUT our family could look back and say “We gave her a good life”. My daughter found our little cats body, with the dogs still in the yard and was hysterical. Our kitty was scared of everything and for her life to be taken in such a brutal way has left our entire family unable to sleep or eat or ‘remember the good times’. We all have the horrible guilt over not being there to protect her. How in the world can we come to terms with this?

  194. robert hart says:

    Ella was our flat coat retirever, she arrived in our home in 1999 when Mary and I got together and became our first child. She went everywhere with us whilst we courted and was there at our wedding. Ella was there when we came hold with our first child Edward and when Sophie arrived two years later, she knew they were ours and mothered them as much as Mary did. Ella was always there, at home, on holiday, at the hotels we went to stay at, on the beaches where we played and at the table every christmas day. Two years ago she developed bumps and bulges on her body, some of which we had removed but last month one appeared on the side of her mouth and the Vet told us that she had cancer. We were told that it had probrably spread but she was still happy on the outside, wagging her tail and comfortable taking a walk with us even though she was now 14 years old. This morning I found a huge spillage of blood on the kitchen floor, so took Ella to the vet who confimred that things had reached a very bleak stage. There was nothing more that could be done and I agreed to have her put down. I told Mary to leave the room but I stayed with her to the end holding onto her until her eyes closed and she moved no longer.
    I knew that she only had a little time left when the bump arrived but it was so hard to let her go when on the outside she seemed to be, well just like Ella had always been, happy and well.
    Mary and I cried when we left the surgery and went home to tell our children what we had done, we cried again but this time with them.
    Ella was our friend for over 12 years, she was a member of the family in the strongest sence and I doubt that we will ever be able to get over what has happened or the loss of our baby.
    I feel that I did the right thing today but I will hate myself for the rest of my life for doing it, I hope I meet her again some day and have the chance to walk with her again. Thank you Ella.

  195. Judy Alexander says:

    It’s been since Oct 21st that I posted about my Lacie. Just wanted to let some of you know a few things that help me cope. I made a shadow box with a collage of her pictures, her leash, collar, tags, the orange ball she had since she was a puppy, etc. We buried her in our front yard under the shade tree she loved to play under and made her a beautiful grave. I ordered her a memorial plaque with her picture engraved on it. I ordered the Rainbow Bridge poem with a place for her picture. I found a poem as follows that really helped tons: WEEP NOT FOR ME THOUGH I AM GONE,
    INTO THE GENTLE NIGHT. GRIEVE IF YOU WILL, BUT NOT FOR LONG
    UPON MY SOUL’S SWEET FLIGHT.
    I AM AT PEACE, MY SOUL’S AT REST
    THERE IS NO NEED FOR TEARS
    FOR WITH YOUR LOVE I WAS SO BLESSED
    FOR ALL THOSE MANY YEARS
    THERE IS NO PAIN, I SUFFER NOT,
    THE FEAR NOW ALL IS GONE
    PUT NOW THESE THINGS OUT OF YOUR THOUGHTS
    IN YOUR MEMORY I LIVE ON.
    REMEMBER NOT MY FIGHT FOR BREATH
    REMEMBER NOT THE STRIFE
    PLEASE DO NOT DWELL UPON MY DEATH,
    BUT CELEBRATE MY LIFE.
    Author unknown.
    As you can see in my comment on 10/21/11, I was suffering horribly. All the above things plus the huge support of my husband helped me so much. I still have tears at times but I know that is normal. After all, I had my sweet baby for 12yrs.
    I hope this somehow helps someone.
    Thanks,
    Judy

  196. Tina says:

    I had to put my cat to sleep yesterday. Buddy was a great cat that went through so much. About 6 months ago he wasn’t eating took him to the vet and had a tooth infected and discovered he had a irregular heartbeat. They put him on ditrazem and
    antibotics and seemed fine, back to eating. Then he got an ear infection and went back to the vet and they gave me more antiobotics.. Then he was okay.. Then he stopped eating and his breathing was very labored.I took him to the vet and he was concerned with how much weight he lost.they gave him fluids this time and thought maybe t heir was something lodged in his throat so was supposed to bring him back fri for explorotory surgery in case he had swallowed something because all blood tests came back good.. The fluids seemed to be working.. he was eating half a can of food for a few days but then nothing again..The vet kept telling me the cat was a lot older than I thought.By this time the cat was losing more and more weight and his breathing was labored and he kept losing more weight.. when I petted him I could feel his bones.I took him back and the vet did a test and told me my cat now had kitty aids and I should consider putting him to sleep..I took him home and waited a day and just saw him suffering then he couldn’t even walk straight. The vet said he was going to starve to death. So I made the appointment yesterday and had him put to sleep. I feel so guilty.. what if I took him to a different vet. Maybe they would have give him a different treatment.. He depended on me and I let him down,but buddy was so sick and he was suffering cause he couldn’t eat.. Maybe if I tried something different. I know he was in pain but I feel horrible now for putting him to sleep because he would be here with me right now if I didn’t.. I should have called a different vet..

  197. Cyl says:

    I had to put my old friend Oak down yesterday. I came across him at the age of 11, in a very poor situation to say the least. he belonged to a lady i had moved in with. for 3days i didnt even know she had a dog. i discovered mouldy tins of food in the fridge, i dont know the last time he had been fed, the lawn in the back yard never got mowed and had created every allergy known for him. his ears and eyes were so infected he had scratched so much he was bleeding and couldnt see a thing, would growl and go to bite if you touched him. his bed was a heshon bag type and had broken thru and he was sleeping on the ground. the patio was so full of the smell of infection, it took 3 weeks of bleaching and scrubbing to get rid of the smell.

    from that moment on, he was my dog, i took him under my wing, took him to vet visit after vet visit to get him right, cooked his food to help with the allergies, took him for runs (he had never been taken for a walk his whole life) and gave him a life he had never had.

    he blossomed into the most beautiful dog, would b forever at my side, loyal as ever.. always eager to get out for a run.. loved his treats and loved socialising with other dogs.

    he was always going to have the problem of infections tho. being sharpei, and never having the eye surgery that is required when they are young, and never having his ears looked after. he was too old to be able to have surgery. so every morning and night, i would clean his eyes and ears, give him his medication, take him for his walks.

    he finally just couldnt walk anymore. his ears and eyes deteriated so much that he could no longer see past his nose, and could only hear loud noises. and to have to watch him go thru another summer, struggling with the heat to get around – i just couldnt do it.

    when i took him to the vet, to be put to sleep, i wept and wailed for what felt like an eternity, i couldnt leave him. i couldnt stop touching him. tryin to soak up every bit of him before i walked away.

    walking away was the hardest. to know i was never going to be able to run with him. play with him, cuddle him, touch him, talk to him again… it is just too much to bare. he had become so ingrained in my life.

    now, 24hours later, i dont feel any better. i can reason with my reasons why i had to put him to sleep, but my grief and loss is just to great. i cant stop crying, i cant sleep and attempts to wash it away and numb it with alchol just simply isnt working. and i cant get the vision of his lifeless body laying onthe table, out of my mind, that final glance of him as i walked out the door

    he isnt here… his not laying at my feet or following me around. his bowl is empty, his collar lays on my kitchen bench..

    what i wouldnt give to have just one more day with him… my devoted, adorable and loveable man… i will forever miss him.. so very very deeply..

  198. Salvatore says:

    I’m so sad to say I lost my 9 year old Golden Retriever ( Riley ) to cancer last week.

    We first noticed a large growth on his neck–confirmed thyroid cancer but was incapsulated. An ultrasound revealed the cancer didn’t appear to spread so I then proceeded to schedule surgery to have the thyroid tumor removed. About a week later, he developed a slight head tilt and wobbly gate–then had a terrifying seizure. An MRI revealed two cancers: one in his cerebellum; the other in the brain stem–obviously a bad prognosis. The neurologist quickly put him on Prednisone and Phenobarbital.

    I was under the impression this was prescribed to give him comfort and hopefully extend his time on earth a little longer. The first couple weeks were rough: he seemed high as a kite and quite wobbly. I was on the verge of putting him down but my vet said to wait overnight.

    Miraculously he was a new dog in the morning–somewhat back to his old ways. Riley was swimming, playing; very alert. I was SO thankful I waited! Of course he panted a lot; drank tons of water; and had an enormous appetite. But overall he truly appeared happy and content.

    Approximately a month and a half passed and noticed a decline in his mood. His head tilt began to reappear and was even more unstable as the days went on.

    Here’s the issue which is causing the most sorrow and guilt:

    Due to stress, life, and logistics I forgot his medicine which was to be given twice a day.
    He had a dose Friday morning then not another till Monday morning ( so, 2.5 days without medicine ). On Saturday I noticed an extreme head tilt and unusual gate. He was alert and was somewhat normal other than that. He remained in the same state Sunday. Monday morning came and I gave him his medication. He was definitely more unstable at this point–very wobbly. For the first time he didn’t finish his food. I do believe he did in fact swallow his pills though.

    Midday Monday Riley threw up and was quite lethargic. I game home Monday night to find Riley on his side in a seizure. It appeared he bit his tongue and found blood, bile and urine nearby. I know he wasn’t coming out of this seizure. All I could do was watch him die. I was so sad and in shock. He didn’t acknowledge my presence–definitely near death. Our other three dogs witnessed the seizure and ultimately die.

    I feel so sad and guilty for forgetting his medicine. Did he suffer? I know his death was inevitable and he was on borrowed time but feel as if I killed him prematurely? Did missing 2.5 days of medication really mask his illness? Was he days or weeks away from dying even if he was on his medication? It’s ironic–I was going to put him down later that week. Did he know and not want to put me through that process? Did he have that sense? My vet did warn me the Prednisone would stop working at some point.

    All I want to know is if he died without pain. According to the vet–probably not. The vet suspects his cancer was progressing rapidly and dogs do not feel pain during a seizure. It was so sad to see his breathing slow and then his last gasp of air.

    I know Riley had a great life. He lived on a boat during the week; and in the wine country on a vineyard with pond on the weekends. His dearest companion, Bella, a Jack Russell Terrier, kept him young and entertained. He’s been on a raw diet for three years and had the best care possible.

  199. julie says:

    So sorry for our loses.I have the Same sad story to tell as many I have read above. My little dog Libby was a 14 years old terrier mix. She had a catarax in the left eye and deafness.We left her in the house Saturday night to go out. We returned around 11pm. Couldn’t find her anywhere inside.I now know as we run a B&B the guests who were staying at the time must have let here slip out the doors by mistake as they returned home whilst we were out.My son and I looked all around the house for Libby (as she liked to sleep in lots of different places).After no sign of her we Started to search around the outside. As we approached the pool my heart dropped as I saw little Libby floating on the surface in the corner. I can’t seem to get that image out of my mind as I feel so much blame for the end of her life. She followed me everywhere around the house. I think she was looking for me and missed the corner of the pool whilst walking round it.We lifted her out of the water, blood came from her nose so I knew we couldn’t do anything to revive her it was too late. It was just a terrible accident and I keep trying to draw a line under it, but it so hard.
    Libby was the last link to my mother as she was her dog before she passed away with cancer 7 years ago. Libby came from the Uk and had 7 great years with us.
    I have many great photos and happy memories to enjoy in the future but it isn’t helping now as I feel terrible and cant sleep, keep crying and feel I let her down. I keep talking to her as I still cant take what has happened and cant believe I will never see here again.
    My friends came over the day after the accident and helped the bury her.
    RIP Libby my best little friend ever.

  200. Thank you for sharing about your pets here…I am so sorry they died. It’s such a terrible loss – and not one that we ever really “get over.”

    I think the pain of pet death fades over time, but never completely goes away. Our pets will always be in our hearts and minds — over time, we start to remember our pets with joy, peace and happiness instead of the sharp pain and grief of loss.

    It can help to focus on the love and joy they brought when they were alive. Let yourself cry and grieve – and let yourself take days or even weeks to say good-bye! It’s a process that takes time, and how long it takes is different for everyone.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  201. Angela says:

    We had to put our beautiful 12 year old boxer, Corona, down yesterday. My kids were preteens when we got her as a 3 month old pup. They have been out of the house for several years now, and she has been my best friend, my shadow, and my guardian/protector. I laid with her during the procedure and cried until I couldn’t breath. My eyes are swollen and waking up without her this morning was very difficult. The crying started all over again. I am so very sad. We have a 3 year old pit/lab mix who seems confused and sad too. When will I get over this? I am actually feeling physically sick today. Didn’t sleep all night. My heart aches more than I imagined!

  202. Al Bishop says:

    My cat died this morning while asleep on her favorite sofa. We had her for 15 years and she was about three years old when we brought her home from the City Resuce League Shelter. She lived her life being both an indoor and outdoor cat and she shared our home with three dogs who adored her and respected her even though she was the smallest. We’ve known for months that she was failing but she never showed signs of discomfort and always showed signs of loving our caring hands as the end got near. At the very end she refused to eat or drink. I just couldn’t bring myself to allow someone to take her life when she seemed to go through the natural process without discomfort. We hugged her and layed her to rest this morning and then I had a good cry.

  203. Dianna Smith says:

    Well, today I had to put my 13 year old boxer to sleep. He was given to me when he was 4 weeks old from the dog pound. I bottle fed him and we became inseparable. I was raising 2 children, now adults, alone when I brought him home. He protected me, became my friend and a playmate for my children. I have endless stories. Anyway, a sad day. I knew he was not doing well,blind, could barely walk, so I had a hard decision to make, but I knew he was in pain and I felt it was what I had to do. I do remember his great days of love and devotion. I know he will be waiting for me and that is encouraging.

  204. Tina says:

    Dear Judy,I have just read your very sad letter and want to cry for you.I know exactly what you have been,and are going through at this moment in time,and my thoughts are with you, and your baby Lacie. It is so hard to make such a heartbreaking decision as you did for Lacie,you will go through so many emotions,such as guilt, anger, and regret, (Laurie who set up this beautiful webset will tell you this,) its all part of the stages of grieving for you loss of your precious pet.I think you made the right decision with reguards to the health of Lacie.It is so unfortunate that she passed away the way she did,dont beat yourself up over it, maybe she cried out because she was a little frightened of the vet, and not because he had hurt her,he must of felt awful too, as he knew what you were going through. Judy, i had my golden retreiver connor put to sleep 11 weeks ago today, at home like you did.He was 15 years old and my baby too. Take each day as it comes and i promise you it will get easier.thinking of you. Tina from Wales.

  205. Judy Alexander says:

    I had my baby “Lacie” put to sleep yesterday morning. She was suffering from lymphoma. I thought I was prepared. I thought I was saving her from further pain and suffering. I even had the vet come to my house because Lacie hated riding in the car. It made her so nervous and upset and she hated going to the vet even worse. I didn’t want her last hours being scared and upset. In the 12 years I’ve had her, I protected her like she was my baby. She never even stayed with anyone else because I was afraid they may take her out to use the restroom and she might run out in the street, etc.
    When the vet came to my house, Lacie even got up and went over to him wagging her tail. The most devastating thing to me was hearing her cry out twice very loud when the vet put the needle in her arm. I can’t get that sound and the look in her eyes out of my mine. Here I was trying to prevent her from suffering yet she suffered worse the very last minutes of her life. She cried out, looked at me in horror, then fell back into my arms dying. This scene keeps playing over and over in my mind. I don’t know how to make it go away.
    People keep telling me “you wouldn’t want her to be here suffering would you?” They don’t get it. She suffered worse in the very last minutes of her life than she ever did in the 12 years I’ve had her.
    I loved that dog so much and I feel so traumatized right now. I don’t know if I can ever get those images out of my mind. She was such a sweet loving girl. She didn’t deserve to go that way. I feel so guilty and heartbroken. I don’t know what to do now.
    Judy

  206. Val Naude says:

    I lost my cross-Staffordshire Elli-Jess on the 06/10/2011. Elli collapsed on the Sunday and happily my vet was on duty. He diagnosed Cushings disease. He took blood to send away on the Monday, and said it would be good if Elli could go for an Ultra sound. I took her on Monday and the Vet Surgeon said she had liver cancer, and had bled out in part of her liver.Because El was 10 years, he felt it would be hard for her to go through a biopsy and chemo. In the early hours of the the 6th Elli passed away in her sleep. I have another Staffie Ann-Wen, but we are both battling to come to grips with losing our vibrant beautiful natured and fun loving Eli. She was my companion and friend.

  207. Tina, thank you so much for your kind words! I’m glad you’re healing from the loss of your golden retriever, Connor. I know your experience will help others cope with the death of their pets. It’s heartbreaking at first, but time makes it easier. We’ll never forget our beloved pets – they’ll live on in our hearts and minds.

    I like the idea of honoring their memories by remembering them with love, fondness, and peace.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  208. Tina says:

    Dear Laurie, as you know I lost Connor my golden retriever back in august.It has been just over 8 weeks now.(yes,I still count the days).I wanted to tell you, and all the people who come across your beautiful website , that with each day that passes,the pain in your heart does ease a little. I remember Laurie,what you had said in your reply to me, and it was quite true.You said that you hoped in time, I could look back and remember Connor and all the happy memories I had with him,without tears.I can honestly say,that now when I think about some of the things he used to do,for instance ,when I used to come home , as soon as I walked through the door, he would fetch my slippers for me,sometimes I actually never asked him, he would automatically bring them to me, he was such a darling, I can smile now when I talk about him, rather than break down and cry. I would like to thank you Laurie,I think you are a very special person, had you not set up this website, I would never have found it, and I dread to think now, how I would have coped.Maybe a few years from now I will get another dog,I have so much love in my heart for one, but feel its too soon at the moment. Thank you Laurie, and god bless to all you dear people,who have lost your precious pets. Tina from Wales.

  209. Thanks for sharing about how you’re coping with pet death here. My heart goes out to you – it’s so hard to lose our beloved animal companions!

    But it does help to write about them, doesn’t it? It keeps our pets alive in our hearts and minds…and in cyberspace.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  210. bianca says:

    Hi everyone! My heart is with you all. Condolences to all of you. My husband and I are devastated. Six weeks ago we had to say goodbye to our angel. She was a 11 year old gorgeous pit-bull and so kind to people. She had drown everyone in kisses and dedicated her life to us. she was our first dog and most wonderful being on this earth. she touched our lives so deeply. We lost her very suddenly on a Saturday afternoon. ; Everything was just normal then she got unwell. We brought immediately to E.R .she had her stomach twisted. They tried to stabilize her and then she went into surgery but unfortunately her stomach was already necrotic. The surgeon had to euthanize her on the table. We were right there waiting for a miracle that never happened. I wish nobody would have this experience ever. The fact that happened so quickly makes so hard to accept and to cope with her loss. We’ve lost family members also but it didn’t hurt so much. The pain is excruciating. She taught us how to love and forgive each other and how to enjoy every single second. When we were fighting she would come to give us kisses to stop the fight like she wanted to say this is not ok. What a great lesson!! Nobody will replace her ever. Words are not enough to express our deep pain. RIP sweet angel! Miss you Tessy.

  211. Judi says:

    Dizzy
    Thinking of you all the time and missing you so much.
    Not a day goes by that you aren’t missed.
    You were the purrfect cat.
    I look at your picture and it gives me such happiness to have had you in my life for all those years.
    I love you and miss you beyond words
    You are in my heart forever.

  212. Judi says:

    Dizzy
    Thinking of you all the time and missing you so much.
    Not a day goes by that you aren’t missed.
    You were the purrfect cat.
    I look at your picture and it gives me such happiness to have had you in my life for all those years.
    I love you and miss you beyond words
    You are in my heart forever.

  213. Thank you for sharing about how you’re coping with your pet’s death. Though nothing can erase the heartache, it does help to know we’re not alone.

  214. Reanna says:

    My husband & I put our 81/2 year old Blue Nose Female Mystique aka Tique Tique Monster asleep yesterday.She had cancer of the pancreas a very rare form.We paid fir surgery but it didn’t help.We found out after she had a seizaier that last ten minutes or so.We made her a inside doggie loved her and spoiled her.We had her on predisone to help keep her glucose high.We got to the highest amount and started to feed her every four hours and give her sugar shots every two.
    She started having a hard time walking.But she still ate and drink water.Then in the last two days she’d fall when she would go potty.And would just lay around all day.I loved her so much and feel guilty for putting her down.I question if I should have waited longer,cause she still would love us and wag her tail at us.She just looked at us so sad…I just can’t get over the guilt.I know she would continue to suffer if we didn’t .But I feel I gave up too soon.We kept her strong for seven months since diagnosed but was that long enough?I love you Tique Tique Girl.I hope you forgive us in heaven.

  215. Jen says:

    Well, were to start!Let’s go back to roughly 8:40am Monday 5th Sep when me and my boyfriend took a much regretted decision to put to sleep our beloved dog – Jess.His app was booked for 10:20 but we had to wait til about 10:40am.
    I cannot tell you all how much we regret this decision as I feel we were influenced by friends and family.Although I realize that the final decision was soley ours.
    I have never written on a forum before but my greive is so raw that I need to tell like minded people. Also it is a stark warning that if maybe anyone else is thinking of putting their pets to sleep then you need to really weigh up the pro’s and con’s and the best advice I could offer is to get a final consultation with your vet which we didn’t because I just thought we were doing the right thing.
    Jess had been to the vet’s just over 4 weeks ago because his glands were up. We were told that because he was old ( Jess was 17 ) that it was tartar build up and it was just an infection, so he was given anti-biotics and we were told to monitor them but not every day, every week. In hindsight it was not really up to us and I feel the vet should have asked us to follow up with a second app.once his anti-biotics had finished. I also think that they should have offered us a blood test to rule out any other ailments. Bearing in mind we didn’t think to have any of these tests done because they are the experts and we believed what they told us.
    Jess had been under the vets for a number of years. In Dec 2008 he suffered a stroke so we rushed him to the vets where he was put on tablets. That week he had another 2 strokes but we took a week off work, sobbing our way through it and we nursed him back to health and he went on to survive for another 3 years. We were so lucky to have been given the right advice that he could go on to have a near normal back to health life that he had before.
    Anyway roll forward to last Sep when we moved house which I prayed we’d get because it was gna be Jess’ retirement home. Another prayer come true, but then this year he gradaully began to lose all the strength in his back legs which resulted in me some of the time holding him up so he could eat and drink. Then over the last 10 day’s Jess was soiling everywhere in the house and even in his basket after he’d been put out. He looked down and embarassed when this happened even though I didn’t mind one bit and he was never scolded.My main reason for putting him to sleep was if he fell and got trapped and then maybe soiled himself, I did not want to come home to a pitiful sight and that would have been an even bigger regret. It’s just that as we took him to the vet’s he actually thought he was going for a walk and was excited, also he was eating, drinking and was generally happy and tottering around the house. I have never seen my boyfriend cry before as he has cried all week. I have not stopped crying and I only wish we would’ve asked the vet to give him steroids for his legs. I did ask about his glands and she said they seem more sinister than just an infection, still he never was given the once over and I feel guilty because he could have had another week,month….
    I will say that Jess was not distressed and just sat on the floor then once they shaved his leg, he lay on the floor were I held him and he lay his head over my arm just like he did every night when I cuddled him to sleep.I kissed him so many times and I miss him so much that I really do regret taking him as I’ve read so many times that its when your dog can’t/won’t get out of his basket that the time has come. Jess could get out of his basket, could eat, still liked walking, etc….I’m so sorry Jess xxxx

  216. Rajesh says:

    Hey Laurie..

    Thanks for your reply and concern towards my dog’s death. I really felt good after reading your reply… Thanks so much.. You are really doing an amazing work.. Keep it up.

    Cheers,
    Raj

  217. Valerie says:

    Tina,
    Thank you so much for sharing, your kind words came at moment when I really needed them. I too am so sorry for your loss, I completely understand how you’re feeling especially the guilt, and it comes in waves of completely different things. Today it’s I should have tried harder but I know in my mind that it probably would have been even more painful in the end, knowing that I had allowed her to suffer more. Like you, I feel guilty about not being with her but I think she forgives me. It was such a shock that the whole thing was even happening, if I had known something so serious was wrong I would have done some research and been better prepared and known what to do should the situation arise, it would have still hurt like nothing has ever hurt me before. I just miss her so much, she was truly my baby, I feel lost without her. I do find comfort in the love we shared, nothing can take that away. I know I will be with her again someday, just as you will be with Maggie. I thought she was with me yesterday, following me around at work and I had to say a prayer that she is at peace and with God because I was afraid that I was keeping her spirit here because I am so distraught. I keep thinking tomorrow it will be easier and each tomorrow it isn’t. So now I just have to think, next week will be easier and maybe it will. Thank you so much for understanding, you have truly been a blessing. God bless you too.

  218. Tina says:

    Valerie-

    I am so sorry for your loss. I can relate to your feelings of guilt over the euthanasia. You can read my post further down (from a couple of days ago.) Everything happened so quickly with my cat Maggie that it’s such a shock that she’s passed. She was a perfectly healthy cat- or so the vet said- and in a matter of a couple of days she could barely breathe. I struggle with guilt every day. I feel guilty that I wasn’t there with her during the euthanasia- no matter how hard it may have been for me or how scared i was of seeing it- I feel like I should have been with her while she passed. I know it sounds silly, but I didn’t want her to be scared and im so terrified that she passed in fear. The vet told me that because of Maggie’s state she probably wouldn’t have recognized me. I keep thinking the vet is wrong- who is she to know- maybe Maggie could have heard me or somehow known I was with her. I would want my loved ones to be by my side when I pass. I do believe in the concept of “souls” or “spirits” – I do not believe that the life we have on this earth is finite and there is nothing after. I think atheists are actually ignorant people- when you think about it, we are after all floating in space! I just pray that my baby’s soul is at peace and with God and that she forgives me for not being with her during her last moments. I find comfort in feeling my love for her because nothing, I mean nothing, can ever take away that love. Because of my love for her, I am bound to her forever and she is bound to me forever. I hope you can find comfort in the love of your precious cat as well. God bless.

  219. Valerie says:

    I came across this website trying to deal with the tremendous grief and devestation I am feeling with the loss of my 9 year old cat Myah on 8/26/2011. This has been an utter shock and I am completely heartbroken and no one understands. Five days before she was gone I noticed her behaving differently, she stopped trying to go outside(she was an inside kitty) and she stopped greeting us at the door and following us everywhere. I told my husband that she was acting strange and felt like she had lost a little weight so the next day I made her an appointment for her vet on Wednesday. Sure enough, she had lost weight so they did blood work to figure out what was going on. The next day they called me with the results and her liver enzymes were high, which is not what I was expecting, I was expecting a thyroid problem. They told me to bring her in for subcu fluids and an antibiotic just in case and made me an appointment with an internal medicine specialist for the following afternoon. I stayed home with her on Friday instead of going to work to make sure she was eating, drinking, going to the bathroom. She was eating on Wednesday, by Friday she had stopped. I forced fed her a little. I took her to her appointment with the doctor and he examined her, felt a mass and fluid in her abdomen, so he took her back for an ultrasound and a sample(I forget what you call it, they put a needle into the mass and withdraw some cells to look at). I waited for about 45 minutes and they called me back to a room to talk with the doctor. She had a seizure during the ultrasound, complete shock and disbelief, he told me that she had a mass in her abdomen that involved most of her organs, another growth on one of her kidneys, something on her liver and he thought the major mass was impacting her intestines, why she wasn’t eating. I was and still am hysterical. How could this be? How could a perfectly healthy cat one week to all this the next. I asked him what do I do and he told me I had three options, take her home and watch her suffer through until she passes which expected would be within a day, euthanize her, or try to get her strength back up so that she could undergo a surgery that would likely kill her and if it didn’t they could try chemo and radiation which would have little chance of helping her. I wanted to see her, I went to the room where they were doing the procedure while the doctor went to talk to the oncologist about the sample. She was laying on a hospital bed with a towel wrapped around her and a cone with some oxygen in front of her head, one of the dr’s asst’s was petting and comforting her, she purred, I pet and comforted her and after a few minutes she let out a very rough meow/yowl. It didn’t even sound like her, she had bubbles around her lips from the seizure, she was my baby. I loved her so much, I have other pets but for the longest time it was just her and me. The doctor came back and it was cancer and he said she had very little chance of recovering from this and one of the vet’s assts told me that if I took her home to be prepared for her probably have more seizures and probably have to take her to the emergency vet to have her euthanized once I could not bear to see her suffer anymore…..so I let her go. and I still can’t believe she’s gone. They offered to let me take her into a private room to say goodbye but I was afraid if they moved her she would have another seizure so I pet her and kissed her on her forehead. She was so peaceful laying there, I know she was ready, I couldn’t stay in the room with her, I was afraid of her body’s reaction to the euthanasia and how it would haunt me and now that’s just added to the list of things I’m obsessing over/guilty about. I miss her so much, and just wonder if I did the right thing. And I know there’s no right thing, this will never feel right no matter what. I know some day I’ll see her in heaven….Love you mama girl!!!!!

  220. Lisa says:

    Baby had been with me for 15 years, until this morning. She moved across country with me a year ago and learned to climb stairs for the first time. She had arthritis in her spine, then developed multiple UTI’s. She was put on thyroid medicine earlier this year too. She started to have minor seizures. I had to go away for a few days and in that time she developed severe swelling in her leg and groin area. (lymph blockage)She had a hard time walking and she was panting so hard all the time. She was put on medicine to reduce the swelling and then her back legs gave out, wouldnt eat and when I did get something in her she threw it back up. Last night she had, basically, a grand mal seizure. The meds werent helping anymore and she looked so tired. I have had to have many animals euthanized over the years but she was the most difficult as she was my buddy out here. So I ended her suffering at 10:30 this morning and realized how tired she was when it didn’t take long to take effect. Everyone tells me she was holding on for me because I wasn’t ready to let her go. I know that she tried really hard to keep going for me. But now it was time to put me aside and think of how she was living. I love her with all my heart and know that she is happy with the other pups that were previously in my life. That doesn’t make it easier and the support of all my family and friends are many miles away.
    My house and back seat of my car is so empty now, but I think I need time to grieve her and not bring in a new pet yet. This is the first time in 26 yrs I have been without a dog. I have always had a pet of some sort my entire life. I am lost.

  221. Tina says:

    I lost my beautiful cat Maggie Monday morning around 6am. I am still in such shock and disbelief when I hear the words “Maggie has passed away.” We adopted her when she was just a few weeks old and had her for 11 years. She would have been 12 years old this coming April. Her birthday is the day after mine. She was always healthy, or at least seemed that way. She developed an abscess about a week and a half before she passed. We took her to her vet, and they performed surgery to drain the abscess. She was sent home with pain medicine and antibiotics. I would wake up every morning at 5am to give her the pain medicine because I was horrified that she was in pain. I would sit by her side for an hour and when she drifted back to sleep, I went to bed. We took her back to the vet this past Friday to check on the abscess, and the vet said she was healing just fine. I did notice she was breathing a bit heavier than normal, so i asked the vet if everything is fine with her lungs and he said he didn’t notice anything when he listened to her lungs earlier. I was so optimistic about her healing and couldn’t wait for her to get better so she can run up the stairs again to my room and cuddle with me, like she so often did. Sunday morning, I woke to find her breathing abnormally heavy. Her whole body seemed to move with every breath she took, and her nose was moving too. She seemed as though she was struggling. We immediately took her to the vet, who gave her oxygen and took x-rays of her lungs. Turns out she was in heart failure and most of her lungs were filled with fluids. She was basically drowning in her own body. They gave her diuretics, but nothing worked. The moment they tried to take her out of the oxygen tank, my baby went back to open mouth breathing, struggling. The vet said they will try all they can and they did. But at 2am we were told that my precious Maggie went into cardiac arrest. She passed for a couple of minutes, but they brought her back. I remember praying so hard for her, and I closed my eyes…her face suddenly appeared to me. It was so weird that I was extremely startled. I think she came to me when she passed for those couple of minutes. After they brought her back, everything they tried still couldn’t help. The vet thought she also lost her sight because of the cardiac arrest. They told us there is not much more they can try. We decided to put Maggie out of her misery and put her to sleep. I couldn’t be there- it felt too painful-but the vet was with her, petting her the entire time. I asked to see her little body one final time after she passed- she looked so peaceful, curled up like a little angel. Tears just exploded out of me. I love her so much and always will. She wasn’t just my beloved cat- she was my baby. I adored her so much. I was truly given a gift having her in my life. I love you baby, Mommy will see you again someday.

  222. irene says:

    Just came home from vets, my wee 16year old yorkie trixie had to be put to sleep. The pain is terrible. Had her since she was 5weeks old loved her so much don’t know how I’m gonna cope without her..

  223. tina says:

    Hi alison and hubby, i too was so glad to have found Lauries site.I am so sorry to hear about your baby Murphy. I lost “my baby” Connor my beautiful golden retreiver 4 weeks ago this friday 2nd sept. He also had to be helped up as he had arthritis in his back legs, he had a fantastic appetite, and once he was picked up,would go out for a little walk in the garden.I too struggled about letting him go, if you have a good vet like i did, he can give you advice and perhaps recommend a steroid tablet as mine did for connor, it really did give him a good few weeks better quality of life, he was even getting up on his own!The only dissadvantage was, he had his age against him. Have you tried a hydrotherepy class for Murphy. These come highly recommended.You will know when its time, believe me,no one can advise you, it is one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make as i had to. All the very best to you both and murphy, i hope he has a few more years left in him, as he sounds so similar to my dog. Tina.x

  224. Alison Harper says:

    I am so glad I found this site. My husband and I are struggling over what to do about our almost 12 yr old Airedale Terrier, Murphy. Murphy has 2 bad back knees. He can walk, but has to be picked up off the floor. Recently he’s started having accidents here & there…mostly because he can’t get up on his own. He still has a great appetite, seems happy & engaged, and once picked up, goes outside & walks around the house begging for treats. I’m not sure we are to the point of euthanasia yet, but I know it’s coming. I have cried all day today and can’t stop crying. We don’t have children so Murphy is our baby. We have had him since he was 8 wks old & he has been the most loving, sweet dog you could ever ask for. I truly can’t bear the thought of letting him go.

  225. Val says:

    On 8-20-11 I lost my Biff Edward. Biff was my almost 10 year old St. Bernard, which is ancient for a dog his size. Today marks the one week anniversary of his death. The pain is unbearable. The open wound that is my heart now throbs.

    My boyfriend came home from work to find Biff lying in his favorite spot in the living room, however he would get up to go potty. He tried to help him up, but Biff wasn’t having it. You can’t make a 200 lb dog do anything if it really doesn’t want to. I rushed home as soon as I heard (I work nights), and found him with his head tilted to the side, left sided facial droop, and his eyes were moving side to side very quickly. I thought he’d had a stroke. I called the hospice vet who said it was probably vestibular syndrome. I made the appointment for 8 the next morning. I read all night about it. It’s an inner ear problem that messes with the dog’s equilibrium. Biff was motion sick! I cancelled the hospice vet, and got Biff to the vet. My vet said it was vestibular syndrome. It’s a problem that older dogs get that can be caused by an ear infection, old age itself, or a brain lesion. He said that Biff would tell us if it was a tumor, because he won’t get better. Imagine my relief! We took him home, got him comfortable and for the next six days I never left his side. Biff wasn’t eating or getting up. After a few days, his appetite improved. His liquid intake was good, and the weird eye movement was gone. Things appeared to be on the upswing.

    Fast foward to friday. I noticed that his puppy pads were dry. He was getting up to use the bathroom. Alarmed, I rushed him to the vet. In usual Biff fashion, as soon as we got to the vet, he peed all over the place. While relieved that his peeing resumed, I him not getting up, as well as bed sores, urine scalds, and his quality of life. I knew he felt bad about going in the house. My vet said vestibular disease can take a while to recover from. Back home we went. I was so torn! I didn’t want to put him down if he could get better. While I was giving him his bath that night, I just prayed that either God or Biff would give me a sign. I sat up most of the night with him. The next morning I was awoken by Biff the next morning, dragging himself towards the living room, and I realize he’s pooping and trying to get up, and get away from it. I went to him, and realized it wasn’t just poop, but bright red blood throughout, and a lot. He gave me the look and I knew. We went immediately to the vet. I took his Snoopy dog toy with us, and blankets from home. He was so calm, more than I was for sure. I stayed with him. He gave me one last slobbery kiss. The vet came in, and started the injection. He had his head up, and looked around, then at me. He laid his head in my arms, and I felt his gentle, giant soul leave his body. The vet listened for his heart, then told me he was gone. I let out this long, animal-like wail.

    So a week ago today, my big Biff was here. Now he’s not. I know I did the right thing for him. He isn’t suffering. He’s free from his aging body, and is running around on Heaven like the bull in a china shop that he was when he was a puppy. He was such a sweet dog, who lived a long time, with his family that loved him. He was such a super star. Everywhere we went, people wanted to touch him, and play with him. He was a beast! It saddens me even more thinking about how one day I’ll have to do it to my Lab, Sam.

    I’m just super sad. I miss him so much. I feel privileged to have had him in my life, glad that I was there in his last week when he needed me so much, worried that I either waited too long or that I gave up and he would’ve been ok, and feel a little less scared about when I die because I know he will be waiting for me to get there.

    I know how much pain you guys are in. But our babies are no lomger in pain. They’re all playing in that big dog park in the sky.

    Rest in peace Biffy. I will always love you and will never forget you.

    Val

  226. tina says:

    HELLO ALL YOU WONDERFUL,KIND AND CARING PEOPLE WHO LIKE ME HAVE RECENTLY LOST THEIR BEAUTIFUL BELOVED PET. I LOST MY GOLDEN RETRIEVER CONNOR ON THE 5/8/11 AND CRY EVERY DAY. THE REASON I AM WRITING TODAY, I HAVE COME ACROSS THE MOST WONDERFUL WEBSITE LIGHT A CANDLE.APART FROM THIS LOVELY WEBSET THAT LAURIE SET UP,IT HAS REALLY HELPED ME COPE EACH DAY WITH THE LOSS OF MY DOG. EACH CANDLE BURNS FOR 48 HOURS SO EVERY 2 DAYS I LIGHT ONE FOR CONNOR, TRY IT FOR YOURSELF ITS VERY SPIRITUAL AND YOU CAN LEAVE A FEW WORDS ON BEHALF OR YOUR WONDERFUL PET. TAKE CARE LOVE TINA. X

  227. Dwain, I am so sorry to hear that your cat Tiger disappeared. You’re right; not much is written about pets that just disappear. That’s so difficult to cope with, as there is no closure. I hope your friends are right, that he did wander off for some inexplicable reason and will come home to you…my heart breaks for you.

    Patricia, thanks for sharing your pet memorial here. One of the best ways to cope with pet death is to keep memories alive by writing them down where people can read them!

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  228. Patricia Blewitt says:

    Anyone who has ever opened their heart to a pet knows how hard it is to say goodbye. My thoughts are with you all in your time of loss. I lost my German Shepherd, Abbey Rose, April 13, 2011. Her hips were so bad she could not walk anymore. I did not want to see her suffer so our vet euthanized her. My Girl was great. I know she is running around somewhere close by thanking me for letting her go. I miss her terribly but I know I will feel better in time. Love you, Girl. Mommy

  229. Dwain Camps says:

    I am now coping with the loss of a great friend and family member, my Tiger. He was slightly over 2 years young and one day about four weeks ago he just disappeared. He was taking his morning walk. As an indoor cat, he has never spent a night out alone. But now I’m realizing he’s probably gone.

    There is a lot of advice on how to cope with the death of a pet. Very little seems to be written on ones that simply disappear. There is more guilt – maybe I didn’t watch him closely enough or I should have had him fixed, so that he wouldn’t want to roam.

    I think about him every day now. I think about all the special times we shared. I relive the last few moments that I saw him, wandering about the neighbor’s yard. He was a scrawny cat, very thin and had a crooked tail. But he was always so cute.

    He would choose to sleep with me when others were around. He would greet me when I came home from work by crawling up my leg, wanting nothing more than to be picked up and scratched. He would sleep in my lap in the most uncomfortable of positions, just to be with me when I was at my computer. He would lick my fingers for no reason other than to remind me he was near. All of these small joys are now lacking in my life, even though my wife and I have two other cats.

    People say he might yet come back. Time is my enemy. I fear that in his last moments, he thought of me, wondering why I wasn’t there to protect him.

    I will always remember him. His life was short but his contribution large.

  230. Dear Dr S,

    Thank you for sharing about Loving in Home Euthanasia! I hadn’t heard of mobile veterinarian before, or home euthanasia – though one of the veterinarians in my article did euthanize her dog at home.

    Thank you also for giving us your perspective as veterinarian performing the euthanasia. I didn’t know that some pet owners feel so bad afterwards, that they blame the vet. I guess that’s to be expected, though, since coping with pet death is SO difficult for most of us.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  231. Dr. S says:

    I am a mobile veterinarian. One of my main tasks, is to perform Loving In home euthanasia. More often times than not, I am sincerely thanked for the service that I offer and that they understand that his can be a very difficult job. Client think of me as an angel. But occasionally (once every few years) I have a situation, for one reason or another, experiences either a hiccup in the procedure, an owners rethinking their decision or for no apparently reason at all, I then you become the devil. This really bothers me, I know this is the anger of grieving and try to understand that. I try to just tell myself… “you are trying your best”.

    In addition, I have a client who had their former vet euthanize their pet at home. For a year, they demonized him at every turn for every reason to me whenever I saw them on an appointment. I really felt bad that they thought he was a devil reborn and only wished him bad things.

    I guess the whole point… every Veterinarian has a heart and is just trying their best under difficult circumstances. I have read many an article of how this situation is one of the main reason Veterinarian experience a lot of stress in their profession. This profession has a higher suicide rate most of all the medical professions.

    Because one of the grieving processes include denial and anger, I do not think there is a good solution to this problem. But thanks everyone for listening.

  232. Dear Tina,

    Thank you for sharing Connor’s life and your memories here. I’m sorry you lost him…he sounded like an amazing dog. I wish you all the best as you mourn his passing, and hope that one day you remember him with only joy and no tears.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  233. tina says:

    At 2.30 this afternoon i had my beautiful golden retriever connor put to sleep,he would of been 15 years old this september 25th 2011.My heart is broken, how will i cope?I know many people would say that i was so fortunate to have him in my life for so long but thats just it, the thought of never seeing him ever again is killing me. Please will someone tell me that i will see my big boy again.I can not stop crying.I feel so guilty about having him put to sleep, but his body was just so old even though his mind was so young.He had arthritis in his back legs and became incontinent and had to be helped up to standing position most days, due to the stiffness in legs love him. he was a wonderful dog who never barked, had many illnesses over his 15 years lifespan, ranging from a broken leg, cancer and 15 months ago he had a stroke.my vet was so amazed by him as he was a real fighter, we used to joke about his name as i named him connor after connor mc cloud in highlander as the saying was there can be only one. and he certainly lived up to his name.THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER LIKE MY CONNOR. xx

  234. Dear Raj,

    Thank you for sharing how your poor dog died – I’m sorry for you. It’s hard enough coping with pet death, without wondering if the medication that was supposed to help her, actually harmed her.

    I can’t imagine how hard and heartbreaking it is to be helpless to help your dog, and to see her look at you with eyes full of innocence and pain. The thought of it breaks my heart — I am SO sorry for you.

    I don’t know anything about that medication, but here are two veterinarian websites that offer free pet advice:

    http://www.askvetadvice.com/
    http://www.free-online-veterinarian-advice.com/

    I hope they help, and wish you all the best.

    Blessings and sympathies,
    Laurie

  235. Rajesh says:

    I am here to tell you what happened to my little Sony on July 18th,2011. The worst day I ever had in my life. She was nearly 8 years old and for the past two years she was suffering with some respiratory problem not sure what the problem is. No one has diagnosed her problem correctly and on July 18th my dad took her to the vet to get her diagnosed.They have given her some injection(Avil)as she was gasping heavily on that day and that injection reacted in a bad way. By the time my dad reached our home her tongue turned to blue and her back legs got paralyzed and she went to my mom by just dragging her back legs and fell down and she looked at everyone with an innocent and painful face. By the time I reached my home she was there just with her last breath and she was getting the hiccups and she already lost her eyesight. I just kept my hand on her and whispered in her ears that I love her so much and I was calling her name with tears in my eyes. She survived for another 5mins and she stopped breathing, I felt like someone pulled my heart from me. I really feel bad that we don’t have good and qualified vets here in India. Today is the 6th day since she left us and we were not able to eat nor sleep till now. We keep on watching her pics and videos and our hearts are filled up with lot of vacuum. We feel that she has rested in peace… We are thinking to get another doggie but don’t want to take the risk again cause this moment would come for her also at some point. I don’t have guts to experience such a devastating scenario once again in my life. I just want to share my experience with all of you to get out of this grief but it will take time. I love you Sony and I miss you a lot. If any vet sees this blog please tell me what happened to my doggie after taking the AVIl Shot. Is that med reacted to her in a bad way? They have given 0.8ml of Avil.

    Thanks!
    Raj

  236. I echo Sally’s remarks…may Peppy rest in peace. Sandi, I hope you’re healing through the mourning process.

  237. Sally Robinson says:

    Sandi,

    I can’t believe what you went through with your pet’s death. I have never had a dog, but it sounds like you loved Peppy so much. I have only had cats but their deaths weren’t as heartbreaking as your dog’s. May Peppy rest in peace.

    Sally

  238. Sandi says:

    Yesterday we had to put to sleep our 7 year dachshund Peppy. She broke her neck when she jumped against our back fence while barking at the neighbors dogs. We did not realize what truly happened until it was to late. After she hurt herself she seemed somewhat normal but late Wednesday we noticed something was wrong. Thursday she could no longer walk so we brought her to the vet hoping for good news ; she hurt herself before a few years ago and seemed fine after taking meds. This time was different thought after we brought back home her health began to get worse… the vet sent us to a specialist yesterday. We were told that she was compeletly paralized and even if we would do the surgery it would not help. It felt like someone ripped a piece of my heart. We all gathered around and I whispered to her that I’m sorry for the pain and I loved her so much …she licked my face and I fell apart she seemed ok except for that she could no longer walk and would not be able to breath as it progressed ….I held her and told I loved her over and over the vet told us after second shot to step out because of what could happen. I can not stop crying. I miss my big girl I feel bitter she was taken from me to soon and it’s not fair. She was scared and confused that’s what gets me so sad she did not what was happening and there was nothing I could. It has only been a day and pain feels even worse than yesterday. We have to 2 other dogs who sit by doggie waiting for her to come out. I miss her so much. R.I.P Peppy I hope your chasing those birds in heaven.

  239. Thank you for sharing your stories, about how you’re coping with your pet’s death. It’s so painful and personal — and I know it helps everyone who reads it, to know they’re not alone!

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  240. Tina says:

    My best friend died on May 9th, 2011 at 10:35 AM. Gunther was a Rotti that I rescued. He was wonderful and sweet and so silly. In February of 2010 he was diagnosed with bone cancer. My heart was broken. I decided to do all I could to save him. On February 16th (my b-day) I left him at the vet for surgery to remove his leg. They kept him there for 3 days, if I could have slept there I would have. I missed him so. We followed up the surgery with 6 rounds of chemo. This was expensive, but it got me another 15 months with my loving dog. The Vet-Oncologist said he would live another 18 months to 2 years (I was hoping and praying everyday), but 15 months was all I got. I was hoping we could do more treatment, but the bone cancer spread to his lungs and I was told that nothing more could be done. It came so fast at the end. One day he was walking and playing a little bit, then the next he couldn’t get up. We took him to the vet, she didn’t think it was time yet. Thought maybe he had some arthritis in his back legs and put him on pain meds. This was the Wednesday before he died. My dad had to come over 2 times during the day to help me carry him out and stand him up to go to the bathroom. He was still eating and drinking. Then when my husband got home we would take him out 2 more times before bed. On Mother’s day we made the dreadful decision to put him to sleep. We called the vet and made arrangements to come to the house Monday morning, I wanted it done in his home where he was happiest. The vet was to be here at 1:00 pm. Around 10:15 AM we took Gunther outside to go to the bathroom and lay in the grass in his favorite spot.
    He looked so happy and perky that I came in to get my camera (thinking maybe we were wrong and it was not the time), my husband called to me that something was wrong I came running and I could see something was not right. I ran to him and was holding him and petting him and telling him everything was all right. He looked at me, licked my face and then he laid his head down and died. I have felt overwhelming despair and grief ever since. I haven’t been able to sleep, the few times I fall asleep I wake up crying and I don’t know why. I can’t go in my bedroom (which is actually the formal living room, we put our bedroom downstairs when Gunther could no longer use the steps). My husband dug up the spot in the front yard where Gunther died and we planted a garden for him, it didn’t help. I walk around all day carrying his favorite toy and a picture of him. I wasn’t able to help my children through their grief because mine was too overwhelming.
    Gunther was 4 when we got him and died at 10. I keep telling myself he had a good life and was well loved. I have had many dogs, but the bond I had with Gunther was like no other and the grief is much worse.

  241. MaryBeth says:

    Also, let me just say…I believe the vets Knew that he was sick…but what could they do? Cancer like this is something that isn’t cured generally and I think that I would have chosen to put him down rather witness his quality of life be non enjoyable…When you love something…you let it go…at least thier bodies…their spirits never leave you… :)

  242. MaryBeth says:

    I believe my dog is in heaven right now. I have no reason to believe otherwise and it is what gets me throught he times I feel the overwhelming amount of guilt about having to put him down to sleep. He had liver cancer. My guilt is that I knew but I did’t know…if that makes any sense. I knew that his lymph nodes were swollen and though I took him in, and they assured me that nothing was wrong (via xrays and bloodowork), I still knew in my heart he wouldn’t be here with me much longer. He also had terrible lumps all over his body…they looked like large moles and he was very itchy toward the end of the last year…I feel guilty about getting on to him about itching…although I know that he’s in heaven and he’s safe and sound in the Father’s arms…I still miss him tremendously…he was only 11 years old…he was a Bichon Frise…the runt of the liter and he died November 21st, 2010…I will NEVER forget him and I’m still depressed and grieving today…it’s not something I share with others, especially family, because they don’t understand…I suppose they wouldn’t…Don’t let anyone tell you that you have no right to grieve…you do…let the feelings out whenever and however long you care to…it’s by doing this that your pain will subside…at least to the point of being able to get on with your life…and know that he can hear whatever it is you’re saying to him…I always tell my Beejy boy…I love him forever and a day!

  243. Thank you for sharing your stories of how you coped with your pet’s death. It’s an ongoing grieving and healing process that never really ends, isn’t it?

    May your hearts heal, and you remember your pets with love, happiness, and joy.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  244. Judi says:

    I lost my sweet little girl Dizzy on March 7 2010. I thought it would be okay but I miss her beyond words. She was my constant companion for sixteen years and now the house is empty with her gone and I’m really missing her. She was my everything. She was such a wonderful cat.
    I still call her name out when I come home and open the door , that is how much I miss her and I was so use to her being around. It is such an adjustment with her gone.
    My heart is broken because she took a piece of my heart but she will always hold a special place in my heart.
    I loved her so so much
    Rest in peace my little girl Dizzy
    I love you

  245. Mom and Bailey says:

    As of April 9, 2011 5:43 after 16 and half years with Cassiopeia I returned her to the heavens and stars…She has been a trooper.. Surviving her broken back after Katrina and now to succumb to spleen cancer. She had her family, friends and neigbours to say farewell . With the wind in her face, scent of flowers and indian flutes playing.. she was returned.
    And Bailey Girl who was her keeper…still goes through her routine to wake her up daily…still searches for her.. Heartwrenching.Now that all friends and family have gone.. I miss her presence tremendously. Bailey Girl and myself are having a difficult time as each day passes.. Though I am at peace in returning her….the ache is overwhelming.. I miss you Cassiopeia…. Mom and Bailey Girl

  246. Cynthia says:

    Yesterday at 10.45am I had to put my wonderful little boy Milo to sleep. I cannot express the emmence sadness myself and my two sons felt doing that. Milo was a Domestic Ginger Shorthair we got him from the SPCA so many years ago.Milo ran away from home on Wednesday night(a very unusual thing for him to do).On Thursday my husband found him sitting by the duck pond not far from where we live.I took him to my vet and was told his kidneys were packing in.We spent our last night with him on Friday. My son took photos of him while we kissed and cuddled him and telling him how much we love him. On Saturday it was hard to watch him cry and then to try and stand. We had him put to sleep that morning.He was part of our family.We loved him dearly and I still hurt inside.Time will heal though. Memories are forever.

    Thank You
    Cynthia

  247. Anne says:

    I had my Martha put to sleep two days ago and I’m extremely sad and trying to get over the guilt I feel being the one to end her life but people keep saying it’s a last act of kindness you can give your sweet, very sick friend. As they were administering the anesthesia, I felt a very certain “release” and letting go of all pain. I think my sweet friend thanked me for letting her go. But I am devastated she is gone. She’s been my constant companion for 17 years and going to bed and waking up without her beside me is just heart wrenching. I hope with time it will get easier. I’m very sorry for everyone about your loss, but I think your pets will want you to be happy. So try. For them. Wishing you all peace.

  248. Mary says:

    I lost my baby VERY unexpectedly Christmas Eve 2010. As far as I could tell, at 9am he was fine, and by 9pm he was gone. We rushed him to an emergency vet (because we were out of town), but the doctor gave us little hope there was anything that could be done for him. There wouldn’t even be a specialist available to look at him for 2 days (until after Christmas). So we had to put him to sleep! It’s been 5 weeks today, and almost daily I’m still crying. However every now and then since putting him down, I’ve realized I was feeling happy, then I feel guilty for feeling happy. I’ve also thought about getting another pet, but then I feel like I’m being disloyal to my boy! My husband was very comforting at first, however he’s now started telling me my depression is getting old. I never had children so my cat WAS my baby/child as well as my CONSTANT companion! So HOW do I get over the loss and guilt that I’m feeling??? I know in my head I did what had to be done, but how do I get my heart to accept it and get on with my LIFE?

  249. Scott Poletti says:

    My best friend Tiff of 16 years passed away on 12/16/10. He was a very special dog and friend to me! I miss him very, very much and think about him every day since i had to put him down. For some reason on exactly the 13th month “almost to the day” his death hit me like a ton of bricks. It hurts just as much”almost more in a way” as it did the 1st day without him. I guess for some of us it just takes longer for the grieving process to reach a climax. I am hopful to start smiling again when i think about or see a picture of him. No dog or person will EVER replace the love & special bond we shared together.

    I will always love you Tiff and i miss you dearly! I hope you are the first face i see in Heaven my boy!

    I love you Tiff!

    Your Pal,

    Scott

  250. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Misty, Angela, Wendy,

    I’m so sorry that you had to say good-bye to your dogs. Pet loss is one of the most difficult, heartbreaking things to overcome, even if your pet lived a really long life.

    I just wanted to extend my condolences, and thank you for sharing your story here.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  251. Misty says:

    I had to put my sweet boxer Lexy, almost 14 years old, down on the 20th of this month.. SHe kept going into corners, panting as in distress, stomach bloated, and etc.. We think she had cognitive dysfunction syndrome, aka, dementia in dogs.. I guess I kind of knew on the way to the vet at 3:00 am that we would be putting her down, our vet also thought something neurological could be going on.. I miss her terribly and when we buried her in the backyard, I had all these guilt emotions come over me, such as not loving on her enough like my other dog, because he was more of a lovey dog, spanking her last time I gave her a bath because she would not cooperate and things like that.. So I have dealt with an erray of emotions, I know that no other dog will ever take her place, I wanted to creamate her so I would always have her with me, but my husband does not believe in that.. any advice on not feeling guilty and just healing from this, I do have another dog who is 5. thank you!

  252. Angela Sullivan says:

    I had to put my yorkie to sleep yesterday, she was
    17 yrs old. I am so sad without her,I loved her so much.
    Toto belonged to my best friend, Enrico who bought her in 1993,when he died in 1999, I took her. I can’t imagine life without Toto, she was such a part of my life the greatest dog i ever saw. I hope I will see her soon.

  253. Wendy says:

    Here it is Christmas morning and I’m reading this blog.

    Two and a half weeks ago I lost the sweetest, gentlest, most adorable, loyal, calm, darling baby ever.
    She was only 6.5 years old. The necropsy results are not back yet. I had her cremated – at first I thought I was wasting money, but now I’m really glad I have her “back”.

    I have been sick with grief and still am. I feel as though I’ll never get over this loss. She was with me 24/7 when I was home. She was only 7 pounds and was a “velcro” baby. I can’t call her a “dog” because she was so much more. She was a dream come true and was truly perfect. I miss her just as much as ever and want the pain to stop.

    Two days ago, I bought a teeny, tiny puppy. She is precious and is a great distraction, but it’s not the same. Of course, I knew going into it that it would be totally different. I’m not sure I should have gotten this new one yet.

    Tears still stream down my face when I think of “my girl” (which is virtually all the time), and my heart still aches almost as much as it did the day she died.

    Rest in peace, Tinkerbell. You will always be in my heart. I will love and adore you forever and ever!

  254. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your stories of your beloved animal companions here. I’m so sorry you had to say goodbye to your dog or cat…it’s heartbreaking, isn’t it?

    I hope this article about pet loss grief recovery helps…and please, feel free to share your memories of your pets here.

  255. Lateefa Covington says:

    Yesturday, we couldn’t find out cat Smokey. Every once in a while, he tries to run out. But we didn’t see him run out. We looked everywhere and assumed that he went out side. This morning, I went outside called for him. No answer. I made a missing sign. I checked a few places one more time. Sadly, we found him in the closet dead. He looked like he was asleep. My husband and I are very sad. our 15 month old son is pretty oblivious to it. We couldn’t afford to bury/creamate him, so we called animal control to come get him.I had Smokey since 2003 and he was 2 years old. He was truly family. We didn’t get to say goodbye to him. That hurts so much. We can’t figure out if he was sick because he had slowed down but not enough to be concerned. I will always remember the good and crazy memories with my cat.

  256. justine says:

    i lost benson my 8 year old bull mastiff on tuesday 7/12/10 it started last week i thought he had bloat and took him the vets but it turns out it wasnt but he didnt know what was wrong with him but he would have to investigate which would be around 600 200 for x rays and any treatment that he would need after, he said he was fit and healty and not in any pain, appart from his panting, so i took him home as it was impossible for me to be able to afford it, he has been great last few days playing with the kids then on tuesday i got up and did what i normally do kissed and cuddled him and went the shops, wasnt out for long and when i can back he was all excited and wanted to go out for a wee so i let him out he had a wee had a sniff round then just lied down on the floor with his face on his paws as he usually does if he is tired, gave a big sigh then lied on his side and just stopped breathing, i didnt know what to do as he was liein in the snow i was trying to get him up crying hiserically , i then covered himin his favourt blanket till my partner got there to take us the vets, i cant stop crying and when i try to sleep i just picture him lieing there, feel so alone and sad and just want him back, i have his teddie which i keep cuddling and smelling, i know he will be ok now and its probably better for him its just me being selfish but i miss him so much,but i think its nice the way he waited for me to come home,
    RIP BENSON NEVER FORGET YOU XXXX

  257. Lisa says:

    On Octboer 15th, my best friend in the whole world vanished in the middle of the day. Loki came into this world in my bedroom closet, March 25, 2006, via a ferral cat my son adopted. I posted signs, called the local vets and police department (they have a lost pet program), and the company that he was microchipped through. I am not a real people person and people just think I am crazy that I say a cat was my best friend but I don’t care. He followed me everywhere, and when I was working at the computer he was in my lap. He slept with me every night and was a ray of sunshine in my life. There is a BIG hole in my heart and my life and I am just as sad today as the day he disappeared. I really don’t see myself getting any better. I have had other pets and lost others before, however none it me as hard as this one.

  258. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your dogs’ deaths…it’s heartbreaking. I can’t believe how long it takes to get over it — and some people never really “get over it.” Like me.

    Our dogs are always in our hearts, every time we see a dog we remember our lost dog. It’s sad…but we really have to focus on how great it was when they were alive, and trust that they’re in doggy heaven, romping with their best buddies…and they’re watching us with love in their eyes.

  259. Anonymous says:

    My parents had to euthanize our family dog over 2 months ago – and I still cry about it as much today as I did on the day he died. He was everything to me. I know I should be happy for his life. He was 16 and a half, which is very old for a Cocker Spaniel. He lived a very full and very happy life. I know he lived so long because our family loved him so much and took such good care of him. He brought us together when we had family problems and he was always there to comfort us when we were sad. I miss him every day. Since he has been gone, I feel like I have a gaping hole in my life that everyone can see – like I’m missing a limb and everyone in the world can see it, but I’m acting like everything is normal. Even though I know my parents made the right choice, I still feel guilty for him being put down. He means the world to me and I know I will never feel as happy as I did when he was in my life. He was in my family since I was 7 years old, and I don’t remember life before him. I spent every single day with him for my entire life. I have lost many pets before, but this is different. It hurts so bad to know that I will never get to see him, pet him, kiss him, or hold him again. Sometimes I feel like I could just go to my living room, and he’ll be there – wagging his tail and waiting for treats. But I only feel like that for a millisecond, and then it hits me all over again that he’s gone. I dream about him a lot, which I love because it feels so real. But to wake up and realize the reality.. it just hurts so much. He was so perfect and loving, he should have been able to live forever. I miss you so much, Sam.. I’m never going to forget you and the joy you brought into my life.

  260. Allison says:

    I too just happened upon this website looking for some advice. My family and I lost our cocker spaniel “Andy” Thanksgiving night. It was the hardest thing ever. He was getting old, couldn’t even get up to get food or water but I think I was in denial about it the whole time.I kept thinking he would snap out of it and get back to the “old” Andy that was rambunctious. We had him for twelve years, since he was born and he was a pain in the behind most of the time but I think that is what made him so darn lovable. I miss him so much and I just cannot stop crying. I feel this huge weight on my heart. I’ll be doing something and I’ll think about him and then it hits me again how I am never going to see him looking at me with his little head crocked to the side. He was obsessed with blue racquetballs and I cannot look at one with out bursting into tears. I think with time it will get easier but right now it just hurts. I just really appreciated websites like these that allow us to come together and talk and reminisce. But mostly to realize we’re not the only ones going through this even though most of the time it feels like it.

  261. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Karen, Tony, Danielle,

    Thank you for sharing about your dogs and cats here — it really is great to hear how other people are coping. It helps us know we’re not alone. We people are all in it together in this world below, grieving our pet’s death….and our beloved dogs and cats are in it together in a different, more peaceful world.

    May we remember them with love, joy, peace, and happiness.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  262. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Kristina,

    I’m so sorry to hear about your Sugar — and I know how you feel. I lost my dog exactly two weeks ago today, and I’ve cried every day since.

    I don’t think there’s anything you can do to get over your grief. I think you need to let yourself cry, scream, and get your sadness out in every way possible. Expressing your grief will help you heal.

    My husband said that every time we see a dog, we’ll feel sad that we lost ours. I didn’t believe him at first…but now I think that the pain of losing a dog is something you always carry with you. Of course, it lightens up and you will stop crying every day. But, your heart will always have a space for the dog you loved and lost.

    I think you’re right to hold off on even thinking about another dog until some time has passed. You’ll know when and if you’re ready for a new puppy. Your new dog won’t be the same as Sugar, but it’ll bring a whole new type of love and companionship. Different — not better or worse.

    I hope this helps, and invite you to come back and let me know how you are.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  263. kristina says:

    I just happened upon this website, looking for ways to cope with losing my beloved Sugar. She was my maltese. She was a runaway from a house down the road that treated her very poorly. I got her about 6 months ago, and she had very quickly become my very best friend. She was here when no one else was, and loved me when I wasn’t exactly loveable. No matter what kind of mood I was in, she always seemed to make it better and for 6 months, we were glued to each others’ side. She was the perfect dog, and my husband said that maybe at christmas if I feel better about it, he will buy me a new puppy. Where I’m at right now, I don’t ever want to touch another animal. He mentioned a new puppy, and I found myself looking, because one day I may want one, but right now I just can’t look at another dog without comparing it to sugar. Part of me feels a little silly beecause for two full days I have been devastated, crying every time I turn around, even hysterical in some cases scraming about how badly I just want her back. I walk through the house and turn around to call her, only to realize she is not here, and won’t be. I woke up this morning and realized she wasn’t waiting for me to wake up at the foot of my bed as usual. She usually waits until I wake up and attacks my face with kisses. She went everywhjere and did everything with me. She truly was my best friend. And I don’t know what I’m going to do without her. How can I ever love another dog like I love her? Can I have that connection with another dog? Rigt now I just don’t know, how do I know when I am ready? I have no one to talk to about it, and it just takes so much out of me. I have been in bed almost all day. And cried half of it, yesterday was worse, yesterday I didn’t stop crying. What do I do?

  264. Danielle says:

    My husband and I recently moved from Chicago to a smaller town in northwest Indiana. We had two cats; Cleo was a year a half old, and Bailey was 7 months. Each cat had a unique personality. Cleo was a reserved but sweet all black girl. She enjoyed being outside, but since we lived in a second story apartment in the city, she didn’t get to go outside out too much…only to sit with us on the patio occasionally and sniff the plants. Before we moved, she had become very depressed. She would just lie around a lot and had even stopped purring when we pet her. Bailey on the other hand was a lively, free spirit. She was a light tan kitten, who loved to play and was always getting into some kind of trouble. 😉

    Once we moved, we debated whether or not we should let the cats outside. We understood the arguments from both sides – There are many more dangers to encounter outside, and life expectancy is shorter for outdoor cats. On the other hand, cats are wild animals that are happiest outside, hunting and exploring. Keeping them locked away inside is synonymous to living in a cage your whole life. In the end, the cats themselves are the ones who swayed us. They both adored being outside and Bailey in particular would sit by the door meowing her heartbreaking little meow, staring longingly out the window, begging to be released. We live in a fairly quiet neighborhood with many indoor/outdoor cats and decided to let the cats outside when we were around the house in the evening and weekends. However, we first had to get them spayed, and this was taken care of in early October. I felt really bad after they had the surgery, as both cats seemed to be in a lot of pain when they got home. Bailey even threw up then immediately fell over when she first stepped out of her cage. I wondered if the surgery was really worth it. However, they healed quickly, and in about a week, we started slowly letting them outside with us. Cleo and Bailey both seemed very happy. This change was especially apparent in Cleo. She began running around again and purring ALL the time. I felt content with our decision.

    However, while my husband was dressing our 5 and 7 year old boys in their Halloween costumes, a man knocked on our door and informed my husband that he had accidently hit one of our cats while driving too quickly around a corner. My husband went out and found a bloody Bailey, dead in the middle of the street. It appears she died soon after impact, luckily. The man said he felt really bad and explained how the same thing had happened to his cat once. I got home about 10 minutes later and felt crushed. I thought I had assessed all the risks and was happy with my decision. However, I hadn’t realized how much those two cats had become a part of our daily lives and how quickly Bailey would be taken away from us. I wanted to let them live happy full lives, even if they were shorter ones and not lock them away to keep them for myself. I know they were happier outside, but I question if that was all really worth one month of freedom for Bailey.

    It has been hard for me to get over Bailey’s death. It has been four days since the incident, and I still feel as bad as the moment I heard the news. I miss my fun, loving kitty, and everything in our house reminds me of her. It is terrible to still see the blood stained road every time I enter or exit my house, but I can’t look away. I hate coming home to a house without her. She had really become a part of our family, and I still expect to see her jumping up to lick the water whenever I turn on the faucet; to hear her little bell jingling as she prances around the house or yard; to see her excitedly chasing marbles around on the kitchen floor; to see her head pop out of one of the sinks in the basement; to wake up to the sound of Bailey heavily purring, asleep on my chest; and to feel her licking my face in the morning. My main reasons for my remorse are selfish ones: I will miss her presence and how she made me feel, and I feel guilt over her loss. I know that we all die eventually, but I’m sad that she was so young and had to die in such a harsh manner. I keep thinking of “if only” scenarios, even though I know it isn’t healthy – If only we would have stayed in the city, Bailey wouldn’t have had the opportunity to die. If only we had tried out a harness on both of them first, instead of thinking of this situation in all-or-nothing terms. If only I hadn’t been so stupid to assume that “it wouldn’t happen to us”…at least not so soon. If only I had been there before it happened…

    I am happy, however, to remember her loving, silly personality. I know that Bailey’s last few weeks of life were fun-filled, exciting and happy ones for her. She was enjoying life and bringing much joy into our lives. She adored our two little boys, and we will all miss her dearly. The four of us, as well as Cleo, were present for Bailey’s funeral in our backyard, where we all threw on a little soil and said our goodbyes. “You were made from soil, and you will become soil again.” I also just purchased a few books about death and life (for children) to discuss the topic with our 5 and 7 year old boys. My family and friends have been very supportive and helpful, and I know my husband misses Bailey as much as I do. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. I hope to feel better soon and to let Bailey’s spirit live on in my heart. I love her and always will.

    Now I have to decide what to do with Cleo. Even though the reasons to let our cat roam freely outside still make sense in my head, I know that I can’t bear to loose Cleo in the same way. So, I’ve decided on a compromise between Cleo’s will and our hopes for her safety. I bought a cat harness/leash and she’s quickly getting used to walking me. I know it isn’t perfect freedom, but I think she’s still happy to be able to explore the great outdoors, even if I am there tagging along on her exciting (but safe) evening adventures.

  265. Tony B says:

    I wanted to give an update, in rememberence to my cat “Kitty” who has been gone since March. It has been about 7 months now and I still come to this website for help in dealing with my loss. I still miss her very, very much. A few weeks ago my family was out driving and came across an adopt-a-pet day. My 5 year old son and wife wanted to look at the kittens. So we walked around and my son found a 6 week old kitten that is pure black. I did not know if I was ready for a new cat, but my son and wife felt it was time so we got him. My son instantly came up with a name for our new family member “Knuckles”. Knuckles has fit in very well so far into our family. My son is not used to a kitten and all the energy and playing it does. Our new cat will never replace Kitty but he fills some of the void that was missing in my life.

  266. Karen says:

    We had to put our 18 1/2 year old Cocker Spaniel Brandy down on 10/20/10. We knew the day was coming and had been prepaing ourselves but nothing could have ever prepared me for the pain that I have been going through. My husband gave her to me when we had been married just under 2 years and we just celebrated our 20th anniversary. She was my little shadow and best friend. We have two teenage daughters and Brandy was my first child.

    She watched me grow up from a young bride to a middle age woman. She listened to me cry and laugh and has more tears shed into her fur than I care to think about. She loved me in spite of it!

    My kids have been great thoughout this and have been trying to keep their mother straight. I haven’t eaten and just keep looking for her everywhere in the house. She developed kidney disease last year so she has needed much care over the past year. She suffered a stroke about a month ago and has been going to work with either my husband or myself and one of us has been with her 24/7 which makes this even harder.

    It has made me feel so much better to know that this pain is normal. Just wish that it would subside some. My sister already approached me about getting another dog for Xmas and can’t even fathom the idea. Brandy was such a big part of our lives that I think it will be sometime before we are ready for another one and don’t know if another dog will ever be like she was.

    Karen

  267. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    LB, I’m sorry to hear that you had to say goodbye to your dog. As you can see from these wonderful people who are sharing about their pet loss, you’re not alone!

    I don’t think there is any secret to feeling better. I’ve lost several cats and one dog over the years, and time hasn’t healed all my wounds. I still miss them as much as I did the day I lost them…but I have a cat and a dog now, and loving them helps make me feel better.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  268. mj says:

    LB, I find what helps me is talking to other pet owners who understand this grief I’m feeling is just as real as grief over the loss of a human friend. It is very real and we have to go through it to get to the other side. There hasn’t been a day yet in a week that I haven’t had a melt down and cried my eyes out. Today it was seeing the stroller. I took her for walks in the stroller because she was blind. When I put the brakes on she knew it was time to get out and run free in the grass, just being a dog. She loved it and I loved seeing her happy. The hurt is real, I feel it day and night. I don’t know the secret to feeling better.

  269. mj says:

    LB,I lost my precious Mimi (almost 17 years old) on Sat. I never had a dog before and I got her as a pup. I cry every day. There is a knot in my stomach and a lump in my throat and I’m not interested in much. I can hardly stand to come back in the house once I’ve been away because she is no longer there and I have a melt down. I put a small Xmas tree with white lights and angels where her bed was, so when I look over to see her the emptiness isn’t so evident. I am in such emotional pain over losing her. I got out all my pictures of her and look at them all the time. I don’t know how long to expect these feelings to last. I’m in the same place as you. Hang in there – I’m hoping time will help heal these open wounds. My face is wet with tears as I write this.

  270. LB says:

    can someone please help me? my dog had to be put to sleep yesterday. He was the love of my life and he was with me for 15 years. I have no idea what i am going to do. I feel nauseous all of the time because i no that he will never come back. It feels like he is just outside right now laying down, but then I realize that he is nowhere, but in heaven. I havent been this sad in my whole life. He was just with me yesterday laying down with me, my best friend. And now he is gone. I need someone to please help me with this. It feels like I will never be the same.

  271. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    I’m sorry to hear that you had to say goodbye to your cat — and I totally understand that it’s the worst day of your life! My cat is an outdoor cat, and I worry about her every day. I’ve lost two other cats for various reasons, and am taking your advice to keep my cat indoors.

    I wish you all the best — and agree that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  272. Kevin Garey says:

    My dear cat Paco passed away 8/15/10 this was the worst day of my life. I would just like to say please keep your cats indoors, it is the best way to keep them safe. I believe mine was hit by a car, I will always regret the day I let him out side. I thought I would be okay if something happened, wow was I wrong! Do you believe in life after pets? I really don’t think I am strong enough, I need all the help I can get on this one. The best that I can come up with for myself and those of you dealing with lose is that it is better to have lived and loved then to die and never loved.

  273. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thank you for your comments — and I’m so sorry that you had to say goodbye to your dogs. I agree that pets are family….we just added a new dog to our family, and are very excited. But I know that one day I’ll be dealing with the pain of pet loss — which sort of makes my time with her all the more special.

    I hope you’re all coping well after losing your dogs.

    My sympathies,
    Laurie

  274. cat@ inspirational grieving quotes says:

    I don’t like it when people say our pets “are like familY”. my pets ARE family. They share my home with me, my happy moments, my sad times, and they love me no matter what. I think that’s the definition of family, or at least, the definition of a good family.

  275. Sharon says:

    I lost a dear old friend last month. He was an elderly Chihuahua who came to me without even so much as his own name. We called him Bucky and I loved him with all of my heart from the moment I laid eyes on him.

    Four years ago, Bucky was given to me by our local dog warden who rescued him from a horrible home. We already had a younger Chihuahua and she thought that our home would make a good one for Bucky.

    In spite of the neglect and apparent abuse he suffered, he gave me more love than I have ever received from an animal. I completely changed my lifestyle for him as well and took less trips away from home as he suffered severe separation anxiety from me. I was committed to him.

    Knowing that he had an enlarged heart and collapsing trachea, it was inevitable that he was probably going to suffer a heart attack in the near future and I was always dreading that time. We do not have 24 hour emergency care in our part of the country. I knew, that whatever happened, I was going to be there for him and hold him as he took his dying breaths.

    My son in Florida had been asking for my husband and myself to PLEASE come and visit them as it had been a long time. I hesitantly agreed to go for 5 days (only) after finding the most wonderful dog sitter who I felt comfortable leaving my two boys with. I knew it would be hard for Bucky, but Julie was an angel and I felt somewhat comfortable leaving.

    The second night we were in Florida, Julie called to say that Bucky was not doing well at all and that she didn’t think he would make it through the night. She was going to drive him to the nearest clinic (it was 9 p.m.) to get whatever assistance she could. Bucky did not make it. He died in Julie’s arms at the clinic.

    The end of this story is this….I KNOW that I made the last four years of Bucky’s life happier than he had ever known and loved him as he deserved to be loved. The only thing I cannot get past is that I was not there for him and with him as I had wanted to be. This is the part that I cannot get past. Perhaps writing this will help the process, but a part of me cannot forgive myself for leaving him those few days.

    Sharon

  276. Erina says:

    Yesterday, I had to put my dog to sleep and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

    He was a 11 year old American Staffordshire Terrier, and truly a one-of-a-kind dog.

    For me, writing about it has helped. I recently did a post about the goodbye process, Walking, Weeping, and Wine http://wp.me/puWta-6Y

  277. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thank you for all your comments about saying goodbye to your beloved dogs and cats. I hope you’re all doing well — and I’m so glad you took the time to share your stories.

    Recovering from pet loss is easier when you talk about it, and when you know you’re not alone. And, sharing your pets’ stories here is another way to keep their memories alive.

  278. Megan says:

    Two days ago, my husband and I had to put down our 18 year old cat Shiko. This has been the worst two days of my life. I feel like I can’t breath at times because I miss him so much and the thought of him being gone is so overwelming..I can’t take it..The hardest part is coming home from work to a quiet house and going to bed at night without him seems..wrong…he should be here. I have two children and a basset hound dog named Gracie and with all of this, my house still seems so empty without Shiko. We had our own language as he also did with both of the kids. Eighteen years is not long enough…Oh Shiko how I will miss you forever and can’t wait to see you at Rainbow Bridge where I know you are waiting for me and daddy.

    Megan

  279. David says:

    First let me say that reading all your stories has been so heartbreaking but soothing at the same time. Knowing that I can share my story with people who understand my pain means so much.

    We lost our beautiful golden retriever Biggles early in the morning yesterday, after 13 long and happy years. I just can’t describe the joy that he brought to my life. Since I am an only child, and I was only eight years old when we first got him, he was like my baby brother to me. When I first met him I immediately knew that he was the dog for me, it was like the universe or God meant for us to be together. When we brought him into our home and made him a member of our family, I remember that he was afraid of staying inside and we all slept in sleeping bags on the floor next to the door to comfort him. Thirteen years later he died in the same spot with my mom there comforting him. We suspect that he had cancer, six days earlier he lost his ability to walk and two days after that he stopped eating completely. We had already made the decision to euthanize him, but he went on his own peacefully before that.

    I feel so empty and terrible right now, it’s like my whole chest and heart has been ripped out of me. I’ve cried so much and I would give anything now to feel his paw on my chest again (he had enormous big paws) and hug him. I feel so depressed that I won’t see my baby alive again (until we meet again in the next life). I know from reading the comments here that I will recover, and I already cherish all the great memories I have of Biggles, but I don’t know how I can ever feel better again.

    God bless all of you and your beloved pets. I’m sure they’ve all met each other up in Heaven where they are waiting for us!

  280. Kerry says:

    I lost my cat Minnie she was 8 years old on Saturday. Snowy white Bengal cat. She was run over. I can tell you before this happened i would think people were silly to get so upset over a pet…Its painful and same as grieving for a family member.

    i have bought another kitten it will never replace minnie but helps a bit…my advise is to try and stop thinking about them and keep busy, all the crying will never bring them back but says me my eyes are so puffy from crying. Pain will ease with time we all know that, x

  281. Gin says:

    I lost Shadow in January of 2010, my 16 year old siberian husky and alaskan malamut mix. She was my heart and I feel like a big part of me has died as well. I dream about her and many mornings I still have to remind myself that she’s no longer here. I look outside my window at the garden where she would always be staring back at me, urging me to take her out for a walk and play with her, and now I just see this huge void. I know the pain will diminish but I also know it will take a lot of time, any advice on how to keep on coping?
    I have her ashes still in my room although I want to bury them in the garden at her favorite spot, and its because I’m still having trouble letting that last part of what used to be her, go.

  282. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Lee, thank you for your lovely story. It’s sad and uplifting at the same time! You said good-bye to your dog, and you know that the pain of his loss will ease. That’s very healthy.

    Dear Marion, I hope you’re feeling better about losing your cat. It’s important to mourn in your own way — even if your own way is different than the way other people would mourn! Let yourself grieve for some time. You will feel happy again and you will be able to remember your cat with love and joy….but it just takes time.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  283. Marion says:

    I lost my beloved Birman cat today. She had been suffering from CRF for about 3 years and 8 months and was 16 years. I am utterly devastated and my husband is really worried as I cant stop crying and feel paralyzed.
    The vet called today to put her to sleep and was so sympathetic , put her arms around me and said I will definitely see her again one day. I have been as grief stricken before over animals but it feels worse now. My baby as I call her was always with me and so gentle and affectionate. I feel there is no way out and even my friends who are animal lovers seem to think I am over reacting. Of course I have no children! I have a loving husband but its a different love. I just have to believe there is another world better than this one. Its so hard
    to go on here! Bless all you people who are suffering the loss of their beloved pets.
    Marion.

  284. Lee says:

    I lost my Corgi called Rocky on Friday 2 July. Since his sudden departure the emptiness that remains in the house I cannot explain. Rocky was such a vibrant family member and much loved by us all. For 15 years he entertained us all. I seek some solace in the fact that at 15 he had a good life and inspute of his advancing years he was still a sprightly fella.
    However recently Rocky began to deterioriate, he was inable to keep anything down and came across as disorientated and depressed. During the last days of his life Rocky did not want to move from his bed, not even to go to the toilet. It was gut-wrenching to see our once vibrant entertaining canine reduced to someone we as a family did not recognise. It was last Wednesday (30th) when I made an appointment for Monday to take him down to the Vets for a checkover. However by Friday he had gone downhill to such an extreme that another call to the vets had to be made. It was then decided by the professionals to bring him in. Luckily two of my family members escorted me to the Vets. On arrival the Vets took Rocky in immediately and so I waited for the outcome. It was 15 minutes later when the Vet re-emerged with the news that Rocky had been suffering from severe dehydration and that his refusal to take any liquid/food over the days had resulted in this diagnosis. Also the Vet confirmed that due to age his internal organs were in the process of shutting down and though the Vet confirmed that treatment was an option it was unlikely that Rocky would take to it due to his condition and age. When the Vet gave me the options it was then I decided to put him out of his misery and let him go. Friends and family have said that there was probably an underlying reason for Rocky’s downward spiral not just related to dehydration. Some said that it was old age and that he had simply had enough. In the past couple of days since Rocky’s death I have experienced a plethra of emotions. The house has an emptiness to it I cannot explain. There have been tears aplenty and I too have felt empty as a result of his passing. I have decided to erect a rose tree in my garden as a monument to Rocky and when his ashes are returned I have chosen to scatter those ashes around this tree as an eternal memory in the garden that he was a part of for 15 years. I have been thinking it would be nice to have another pet, but at this time I feel it would be wrong as Rocky was and will always be the first pet I grew into adulthood with. But they say that time is a good healer and I am certain that my Rocky would be grateful and happy to be free of any suffering. Though things are grey at the moment I hope that some colour will start to come back into my life and that though my intense grieving for my Rocky will subside I know that he will be with me in my heart all the days of my life !

  285. Donna says:

    Reading everyone’s stories, I know now I am not the only one grieving so much for a pet. I had to put my dog Symba down after 12years of campanionship. She was my best friend and the best dog I have ever had. It is so so hard to stop thinking about her. I have another dog who is 15years old, he is deaf and really is lost without her too. He use to look to her for reactions, responses and to what was going on. It’s only been 3 days, but I miss her so so much. Miss you little girl xxx

  286. Kim says:

    Dear Kid, I am so sorry to hear that you lost your beautiful puppy so tragically and unexpectedly….this seems so unfair as you were doing the right thing and usually the operation is so simple and straight forward. At least many of us get a chance to prepare for the loss of our beautiful dogs/cats and have a chance to say goodbye (evenso it is deeply heartbreaking). I want so much to help ease your pain so I will try by saying I am a midwife/a neonatal intensive care and emergency dept nurse and from this I have learned that people, as with animals sometimes don’t cope with anaesthetic drugs. It is so very unfair but it does happen! It ‘s nothing you did…just a very sad fact of life!! It sounds as though you gave your beautiful puppy the best life ever and he would only have known that he went to sleep…he wouldn’t have experienced any pain or suffering. He may also have had an undiagnosed heart problem (which contributed to his precious little heart stopping)!! Please be gentle on yourself, its okay to cry and cry and cry….you are grieving deeply and what you have experienced is very sad. I understand it’s unbearable as times (I’m feeling it too)!!! It will take you some time to feel less distressed but thats okay it shows how deeply you loved and cherished your puppy. In time you may be able to love another puppy who (like so many) is in desperate need of your devoted love and care! It would be extremely unlikely he/she would die! My love and thoughts are with you. Kim

  287. kid says:

    I had the most perfect puppy as far as I am concerned. He was gorgeous, loyal, friendly, obedient and so clever. We got him at 7 1/2 weeks old and I have never loved a dog so much in my life.

    We made the decision to have him neutered at 7 months old. The vet assured me that it was a very simple procedure and told me about how quickly he would recovery from the operation. So, he was booked in and dropped off at the vets.
    2 hours later, I got the dreaded call to say his heart had stopped on the operating table and there was nothing they could do save him. I went into shock, felt sick and nearly passed out several times. I just walked out of work and walked all the way home. I even forgot that I had taken my car in that day!

    Its been almost 2 weeks now and I have not come to terms with him dying. Its breaking my heart every single day. I miss his annoying little habits like the way he licked us when we got out of the bath or the way he would drink straight from the bathroom tap.

    I was on holiday from work for the week after he died, I just went back on Monday and I hate it. I am still crying every single day for my beloved puppy. I keep replaying the phonecall over in my head and I can picture him lying on the operating table. It literally is breaking my heart.

    I do want to get another puppy, but I am scared he will also die at such a young age. It was alwful having to break the news to my children but they have clearly dealt with it a lot better than I have or can.

    I am thinking of waiting until we get back from our summer holiday, that will give me a couple of months to come to terms with our loss. I am physically aching for my dear little puppy, its unbearable.

  288. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Thank you for your comments, and sharing your prayers and stories and compassion.

    I honestly don’t think we ever totally recover from pet loss. Saying good-bye to a dog or cat is one of the most heartwrending things a human being can do. I know I carry all my lost cats and dogs around in my heart…I miss them so much, and love my current cat even more because I know a day will come when she’s gone, too!

    Despite the pain of loss, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat….I loved having my pets.

  289. Christy says:

    This site has been so helpful to me with the lose of my baby Rookie. My heart and prayers go out to all of you. I don’t think I could have gotten through the hardest of the days without the words from some of you. It’s like you completely understand how it feels to lose your beloved pet and best friend. I have had so many people to tell me he was just a dog, but he was so much more like my best friend. It still hurts so bad and it has been a month this week. Thank you all for your kind words and I will always remember you in my prayers.

  290. Kim says:

    My love , prayers and thoughts are with you all. Your stories touched my heart so deeply and it is heartening to hear of so much love for our animals in a world where we hear of so much cruelty, injustice and suffering. Indeed the loss feels unbearable at times!!

    Last Friday i made the heart renching decision to have our beautiful Border Collie Smithfield “Indy” (better known as Bear) put to sleep. She was 14 alsmost 15 and we rescued her from an uncaring home when she was about 1. She came almost everywhere with me/us, we used to go on long runs/walks, to the shops (she was so loyal I didnt need to tie her up when I went into a shops),to visit friends and she came with our family whenever we went away on holidays. She had 2 litters of puppies (lots of them were given to our friends). She was my best frend in the whole world!!
    Her health had been deteriorating for some time…she had arthritis, her breathing was noisy (oesophageal problem) and she was incontinent of urine sometimes. All of these problems were treatable but a few days prior to making the hardest decision of my life she had what seemed like a stroke….she was confused, couldn’t keep food down etc etc. We called the vet to our home twice and the first time we tried medicating her with steroids, analgesia and anti vomiting meds (just in case these helped). Of course they didn’t…her time had come for me to be brave and help her. It was the most disgusting, heart renching but essential choice I have ever made. She gave me her heart (and I her), her love and unrelenting friendship and if I’d let her go on it would have been for me… not her! There was no longer a choice. I miss her so so deeply, nothing seems right. My heart feels like it has a huge chunk out of it but I would rather feel this way and to have had the time with my/our precious girl than to have never had that time with her at all. It’s so hard for those of us who love deeply and whole heartedly….we fall hard! But there are many beautiful dogs (and of course cats) like ours who are desperate for loving and caring homes….don’t feel bad if you are condsidering getting another dog or cat. We could never replace our friend we are grieving but we could open the door to a new love, friendship and the best company ever! They need our love so desperately (and us theirs). I know it takes time, sometimes a long time but eventually we will smile instaed of sob when we think of our beautiful precious and sadly missed friends.

  291. Maddy says:

    Michelle I feel your pain, Moomin was 100% my dog but our other family dog Tess is 14 and needs to be put to sleep soon too, she has dementia and is losing strength in her back legs very quickly now. The pain is horrific. It’s so hard when you’ve been trying, hoping and praying for weeks, i’ve taken cooked beef and fresh eggs to the vets everyday for the last 2 weeks, just trying to do something. Our labbies must have got poorly at the same time. I am thinking about you today as I feel we are going through similar things. Stay strong, I keep trying to help myself by thinking how distressed my pooch would be if she saw me in such a state. xx

  292. Maddy says:

    My heart goes out to all of you. I had my beautiful black labrador Moomin put to sleep on June 1st, she had just had her 9th birthday.

    She had a terrible two weeks with various problems and she was so tired of fighting. She’s had to stay at the vets and i’ve been down there every day bringing her whatever I could think of to help. The pain is terrible, i’m 22 and she has got me through uni and a lot of life’s difficulties, we left home together when I was 16 and she has been my best friend since I got her as a tiny pup. I’ve moved 13 times and she’s been the only consistent thing in my life, always there, licking me and out on adventures together.

    Now i’ve just finished uni and my life is changing again so much. I feel like I can’t do it without my Moo! I have to move house again and I would do anything to have my darling Moo by my side. She gave me strength and just don’t know what to do.

    It helps a little to know people understand. You all sound like such wonderful kind hearted people. xxxxx

  293. Michelle says:

    I just put my lab down today after almost 12 years. He was vibrant and healthy as of 3 months ago. We found out he had liver cancer 2 weeks ago and went downhill ever since. It has been the worst pain ever.I tried everything I could to save him. I am so lonely not seeing him lay in front of me. I have a 131/2 year old lab who has hip dysplasia and needs to be put down soon. I feel for anyone going through this as it is so hard. Stay strong!!!

  294. Christy says:

    Damian,

    I completely understand how you feel. My heart is still hurting from the loss of my precious Rookie whom I just lost 2 weeks ago and I don’t know when the pain is going to stop. The kind words from others and reading everyone’s story has helped me so much. I pray that you will soon have peace and our prayers are with you and your family. Our beloved pets that are truly our on family will remain in our hearts forever.

  295. Damian says:

    My Mum’s 10 year old Cairn Terrier called Pippin was just put to sleep yesterday. She had been having more and more seizures (the type of seizure where she ‘freezes’ and can’t move, and gradually comes out of it after 20 minutes or so) and she was becoming a tad unpredictable around kids…in her prime she was the most placid of dogs, but her behaviour changed in the last 18 months.

    The vet recommended putting her to sleep as the vet said the seizures and unpredictable behaviour would only get worse, and my poor mother had to give the go ahead; thankfully, Mum held her in her arms and comforted her as she died.

    Even though she was technically my Mum’s dog (and not mine), Pippin was such a big part of my life. Weekends are not going to be the same without her and my wife is equally devastated. For SEVEN of Pippin’s 10 years, I lived with her as I only moved out of Mum’s when I got married.

    I haven’t stopped crying today and the realisation that she has gone is only starting to sink in. I’ve read alot of the comments here, and I honestly felt she would live until she was around 15 or 16 years old as we gave her THE best life. She was a house dog, that would sleep at the bottom of the bed.

    I have no idea how long it will take me to get over her loss, but I really appreciate all the kind words and comments on this website. It has helped me alot today, and I feel marginally better at coping with her loss.

    Thank you to you all.

  296. Christy says:

    Thank you so much and I am sorry for your loss as well. It has made me feel better to actually be able to express to someone had sad I really feel. I hurt so bad that I can’t put it into words. I knew it would take time but never understood how much it would hurt. I do thank you so much for your kind words.

  297. Curtis Lyon says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Kobe left me on May 5. I have been feeling the same feelings as you. The reason you grieve for a pet is because they are not a pet to you, but much much more. We feel the way we do because our animals are part of our family. Do not allow anyone to make you feel silly for grieving! Try to find someone who loves animals that you know. Allow yourself to be sad, and sick and hurt…. Take it day by day and remember all the happy times.

  298. Christy says:

    I lost my precious Rookie last Tuesday May 4,2010. I had no idea he was sick, he woke me up three times the night before( which he done many times),so I didn’t think much about it. When getting ready to leave he kept walking around me but didn’t seem to be sick. When I returned home he was barely breathing so I carried him to the vet. At that time his fever was 108 and they kept him and a few hours later he passed away. I keep thinking if I would have been home he would still be here. I feel so sad and guilty. I can’t stop crying and my girls are so sad. I can’t talk to anyone cause no one seems to understand how much I loved him. People think you’re not suppose to grieve for your pets but it’s killing me. I need prayers cause my heart is so broken and everyone here seems to understand.

  299. Curtis Lyon says:

    I fell in love with my wonderful black German Shephard when he was just six weeks old. I brought Kobe home in my lap that beautiful day in 1997. Last week, I took him on his last ride, in my lap just after the vet sent him to heaven right from my home. Over the almost 13 years, Kobe and I were more than friends or companions. He was my shadow. We did so much together, from Kentucky where he spent his rowdy puppy years to Montana where we discovered ourselves and spent as much time in the hills and mountains as anywhere else. To our home in Michigan, where he welcomed my wife and our 3 boys with a wagging tail. How can a man ever get such a loyal friend? The last 5 days have been very difficult. All the feelings of guilt, anger, sadness, and loss are ever present. I thank God for my wife and kids, because without them this would be impossible or seem that way. I feel for everyone out there and believe that we will all overcome, knowing that our beloved pets would hate for us to be sad.

  300. Shiranee Perera says:

    A tribute to Tango my friend……….

    No more greetings in the morning,
    And now I sit moaning.

    Just four years in this world
    Of such a death I was never told

    You ere so faithful,
    But to strangers you did prove harmful

    You always used to lead the way,
    And await my arrival at the end of the day

    Your beautiful eyes did look at me
    But the pain you had I did not see

    No more growls from your only brothers Tubby and Shadow,
    They weep your your loss in the meadow

    You left behind your two sisters Sheeba and Dipper,
    Husky and Trengi your father and mother

    Goodbye dear Tango my friendly do
    Your memory will linger on
    Although death did part us!

  301. Kate Sullivan says:

    I am so comforted by everyones comments. After 10 years of looking for the perfect cat, I finally found it last January and made the decision to adopt from a local shelter. Everything was great but the cat was a bit aggressive, not sure if this is from taking it from the shelter too early or not (it was 10 weeks). I had a two week vacation scheduled and got two different people to come visit the kitten twice a day while I was gone. Affter getting back, my cat does nothing but bite and scratch me. Nothing seems to help. I am so sad. He won’t sit with me, cuddle or show much fondness at all. I have decided to give him away, after much heartfelt consideration, since all he does is bite and scratch me now. Despite this, I love this cat beyond expression. If it weren’t for all the physical pain he gives, I would keep him around forever. But I cannot handle the rejection. I have decided to give him away to a dear friend, someone who is responsible and will love him to the end…where I can visit from time to time and see how he is doing. I have spent the entire day crying and am so upset. I had no idea how much impact on my emotions this cat had on me until now. I can’t express the separation anxiety I feel and will miss him so much. I wish there was another solution but I can’t live with cat who so obviously doens’t like me if he continually bites and scratches. At least I know he will be well taken care of. So sorry to hear of everyone’s losses with their cat but your stories have helped me feel connected and I thank you for that. Sincerely,

    Kate

  302. i have not as of yet lost my dog…but i am aware that it can happen sooner then soon…can i be prepared for it…i sure hope it will be hard no matter when…he has been with me 14 years …and love him

  303. Blaed says:

    I lost my Cat last month and I still cant get over it, I cant recall any day so far that i haven’t cried. I lost my cat from leucemia, after only having her for a little over a year, but in that year, her and my other cat were my best friends, they never were mean or rejected me. all they did was love me. after losing my Kitty i feel like half my life is gone. we were just becoming better friends. this wouldn’t hurt me as much if I spent a longer time with her, but having the feeling of my cats life taken away from me, with only a year of friendship is… i cant even drscribe the pain im feeling. it hurts just writing this email. Monique I am very sorry about your cat, and I hope all of your pets, have a great after-life.

    Kitty I hope to hold you in my arms again
    I Love and miss you so much

  304. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Margaret, Donna, Judi, Debbie, Susan, Tony C, Tony B, Kathryn, Monique,

    I just want to say how sorry I am that you had to say good-bye to your beloved pet…and I hope your pain and heartache is healing. Losing an animal you love is so hard, and it often takes time to get over the pain of pet loss.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you,

    Laurie

  305. Monique says:

    My 7 month kitten was run over a couple of days ago. I have always been a dog person before we got Rudy. He was completely different. I am going through a severe depression and he has been there for me during my hours of desperation. I just do not know how to get through this. I can not stop crying, I hope it stops hurting.

  306. Kathryn says:

    We lost our JoJo on March 25, 2010 after 13 years together. She is a schipperke, which are known to have very long lives, sometimes 20 years, so losing her after only 13 seemed like we had been cheated. I had to make the difficult decision to have her put down. Several months ago she began having seizures, when even the meds could not stop them from coming the vet said she most likely had a brain tumor. As much as it hurt me to do so, I couldn’t let her continue to suffer. I was holding her when they gave her the shot and felt her relax in my arms. Even though I have raised my son completely by myself and suffered the same kind of financial and personal crisis most people do in life – I would have to say that day was one of the hardest I’ve lived through. It’s only been a couple of weeks. I still miss her so much.

  307. Tony B says:

    My wife and I had to put our cat “Kitty” of over 18 years to sleep this past Saturday. In Nov. of 2009, we took her to the vet because she was really sick and she was diagnosed with CRF. The vet prescribed some medicine and we changed her diet. Kitty re-couped very well after a few days and was back to her normal self. But last week, she stopped eating, and was sleeping all the time and lost alot of weight and stopped doing all of her routines.
    Every night, no matter what time I went to bed she would jump on the bed and cuddle with me before I would go to sleep. I miss her so much. I know we did the right thing to end her suffering but it is so hard to cope with. She was part of our family and will forever be in our memories.

  308. Tony Cravey says:

    Susan I am so sorry for your heartbreak.I know how you feel my little Jack russell died on Monday,She was sick also but it still doesent make hurt your going through any better. just remember how much Julian loved you and I know he knew how much you loved him.Just try to remember the good time you had with him and always remember him my thoughts and prayers are with you.

  309. Susan says:

    After 15 1/2 years, I had to put my beloved cat Julian to sleep today. He was diabetic and had imflammatory bowels. We fought both diseases for a year and a half. I took him to the Vet last week and he was doing better and this week he stopped eating and then yesterday vomiting his water up. And he so loved his water. The Vet said even with intensive care it was doubtful he would survive. I choose to end his suffering. My sister, niece and I was with him as the Vet injected him to end his life. It was very peaceful for Julian and he was surrounded by love. I got Julian during a time of my life when I was enduring severe depression and he was a life line for me to stay in this world. My apartment is so quiet and he’s been gone only 4 hours. I now need to remove his bed and litter box….and put memories in my Bible and ceder chest. Dr Hart and all of his staff have been so good to Julian and I. They are the best. I new this day was coming soon because of his declining health but it does not make it easier. I miss his purring already. And, I think, I’ll even miss being woken up one to two times a night for all of his 15 and a half years.

  310. Tony Cravey says:

    I lost my Jack Russell Ellie Yesterday 03/23/10 she was 15 years old I never had children she was my life.I have seen her going down hill for about a month but could not let her go.Anytime I would get my car keys she would stop what ever she was doing run to me jump up on my leg and bark knowing that we were going somewhere.Yesterday morning I was going to the store got my keys but Ellie was not jumping up on my leg I looked over she was doing everything she could to try to get up to go for a ride but she couldn’t.I knew that was it I called my vet and scheduled to have her put down,Before we left we had some alone time and I told her how much she ment to me and that she would always be my little girl.I had to carry her for her last ride it hurts so bad not to have her little sounds and her walking across the floor with her little ball she loved so much.I brought her back to home and place her under her favorite shade tree along with her ball,But it hurts so bad not having my little girl beside me.

  311. Debbie says:

    Well this afternoon my dog Rufus went off to “doggy heaven” an I never thought as I could feel as bad as I do. He had been getting worse with his legs etc since Christmas 2009, We took him him to the vets on Tues and had thought it was time then but the vet gave us Painkillers for him as he had never been on them (he was almost 16) he went downhill from there so I took him today and lay with him on the floor whilst they put him to sleep. He didn`t struggle and seemed to be relieved but OMG it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. All I can see now is his face whilst all this was happening. I know it was for the best but I had had him from him being 8wks old. RIP Rufus will never ever forget you xxx

  312. JUDI says:

    I JUST HAD TO PUT MY CAT TO SLEEP AFTER HAVING HER FOR SIXTEEN YEARS. IT IS HEART WRENCHING IN MY HOME WITH HER NOT HERE. I HAVE NEVER BEEN WITHOUT A CAT AROUND THE HOUSE FOR THE LAST 34 YEARS. I MISS HER SO MUCH. I EXPECT MY DIZZY DEVIL TO JUMP UP ON MY LAP AS THAT IS WHERE SHE LIKE TO BE BUT THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. IT IS SO HARD BECAUSE I JUST LOST MY MOTHER FIVE WEEKS AGO AND FOUR WEEKS AGO MY HUSBAND HAD HIP REPLACEMENT SURGERY AND NOW THIS.
    I KNOW IN TIME I WILL BE OK BUT FOR NOW IT IS SO DIFFICULT.
    SHE WAS THE BEST CAT
    SHE FOLLOWED ME EVERYWHERE. SHE WAS MY PURR-FECT FRIEND.
    I WILL MISS HER TERRIBLY
    IT GIVE ME COMFORT TO WRITE ABOUT HER.
    I WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND MISS HER

  313. Margaret Wilkie says:

    Hi Donna,

    Thank you so much for your thoughts I am still consummed with grief and think of my much loved Hugo all the time I have another lovely schnauzer called Henry who is helping me get through this loss and I know that he also is missing his lifelong friend Hugo. My husband and I talk every day of Hugo’s funny and quirky ways and you are correct, it does help get us through the day. I am sorry for your very sad time over Bailey but so glad to hear Hoover is bringing you much joy.

    I will try to stay strong and look forward to the time when I can think of Hugo and look at all our photos of him without this great ache in my heart.

    Thanks again for your thoughts I really do appreciate them

    Margaret

  314. Donna says:

    Hi Margaret,

    I feel for you right now as I went through exactly what you are going through when I had to make that horrible decision and had my Bailey put to sleep in mid-January. For a week I just cried and cried and cried some more. I don’t believe this is unusual as you have just lost your best friend. You just have to play it day-to-day and start to relive all the wonderful memories you have of Hugo, the ones that made you laugh and try not to dwell on the last day of Hugo’s life. The days really do get easier as time passes. You will always miss Hugo but you will start to remember him with loving thoughts that won’t make you cry. It’s been said that you shouldn’t rush out and get another dog right away but for me and my husband this was what we had to do. We now have a yellow labrador puppy named Hoover and he has helped us in so many ways get over the pain of losing Bailey. I still miss her with all my heart but Hoover is providing me with a sense of “life goes on”.

    Stay strong and may God help to heal your broken heart.

    Donna

  315. Margaret Wilkie says:

    My faithful friend Hugo was put to sleep this afternoon and I am absolutely heartbroken. He was a magnificent miniature schnauzer and I am sure half human. I can hardly cope with the grief that I feel at the moment. He was only six years old and I should have had the pleasure of his company for so much longer. I will miss him forever and cannot stop crying.

  316. Gini Grey says:

    Valerie – I can so relate – I’ve commented hear a few times as I’m on the email list. The first few days are the hardest – I found it helpful to cry, cry, cry and cry some more, but to also talk to friends and cry while they listened. I also found it helpful to blanket myself in laughter and love by remembering all the funny, quirky things Jazzi would do and to talk about these with friends who knew her well.

    I think it’s so important to let go of all the things you tried to do or could have done etc and accept that it was your dog’s time to go – hard to do, but acceptance helps. Over time the pain eases, and is replaced with other activities. I found it helpful to give myself lots of love and kindness and other things I received from my dog – this way I didn’t feel totally lost without her – I knew I could experience those feelings on my own and with others.

    May your heart heal with ease and love,

    Gini

  317. valerie says:

    Hi I had to have my darling Buddy put down two days ago. I had to deal with the anticipatory grief as he was riddled with allergies inside and out. Nothing worked through all our eleven years together and the allergies finally killed him. Our birthdays were on the same day in April. We were inseperable and the loss is excrutiating I fear I may not be able to handle this the depression is unbearable. I will not be getting another dog he was my heart dog and will live just with his memory now . How does one cope with this horrible horrible loss and pain. I play the song ‘slipped away’ by Avril a hauntingly beautiful song. Buddy loved songs.

  318. Malki says:

    Thank you for your wonderful reception to my little beagle Jazzy story. It’s so comforting to know others have experienced what I have felt. Writing my story made me realize how much my heart still aches. Maybe I should have shared earlier in my grieving process? I was trying to be so strong and get on with life as others in your life may not understand a love and loss of a pet but it catches up with you… I feel blessed to know that others are reading my story now and may receive comfort and hopefully peace from it.

    Thank you all. I love that Gini had a dog named Jazzi too!
    God Bless. Malki.

  319. Gini Grey says:

    What a wonderful story that Malki wrote – as are all the comments on this poste. I wrote a while back about losing my beloved dog Jazzi – what a gift she was to both my hubby and I – I can relate to what Malki wrote about being a better person as a result of having a dog.

    It’s been a little over 2 months since losing Jazzi and I do feel much better now – we caved in too and brought home two cats who needed homes (couldn’t bring myself to getting a dog just yet) and there have been days when I’ve been filled with joy having a cat purring on my lap while crying tears of sadness at the same time for not having Jazzi (the cats don’t seem to mind my grief) – interesting to have two different emotions flowing at the same time.

    While Jazzi taught us about unconditional love, fun, play, humour and kindness, these cats seem to be teaching us how to snuggle more, and to trust (as when I let them out lose, I need to feel secure that they will return without me being beside them with a leash).

    Gini

  320. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Malki,

    Thanks for sharing about your dog, Jazzy…this is a beautiful story, and I can see how much you still love her! I love how you have memorialized her, and how she’s still part of your lives even though she’s gone.

    You’ve been a blessing — thank you.

    Laurie

  321. Malki says:

    Losing your beloved pet is certainly one of the most hardest things in life to experience. When I was a single girl in my apt had bought a cute little beagle to keep me co. Fondly name “Jazz”, she not only kept me co., she brought so much to my life, she made me a better person, more patient, more kind, more forgiving, more loving. When Jazzy girl was seven we both met my now fiance who became her “dad”. We both loved jazzy girl dearly until she reached the age of 14yrs. One night, she fell so severly ill, wouldn’t eat, drink, it was very sudden. We stayed up with her thru the night. The next day we rushed her to the vet where they gave us the news that it would be best to put her down as they found a large tumour in her spleen. I was actually very strong. I wanted to be for her, in admiration and as a tribute to the sacrifices she made me as my loyal pet for the last 14 years, I did not want her to suffer anymore. We took her for one hour selfishly for ourselves to spend our last moments with her with the vet’s okay. We wrapped her in her warm brown blankie and cradled in our arms and walked down the path by the lake that she knew so well. We took her home where family, friends and neighbours came to say good bye to this crazy beagle of ours. At midnight, she looked at me as if to say “its time Mommy”. We drove back to the vet where they sent her off with Angel wings to heaven. We cremated her with her brown blankie. Every morning I see our little shrine with her urn, her pawprint, and her picture as if to say Hello everyday to me still. She died Feb 23rd 2009, almost a year but yesterday in my heart always. I know she waits for me at heaven’s gate. As to the future? We caved in and bought a little chocolate beagle, quite different from Jazzy Girl as I strive not to compare. She brings us a new joy, new love, new blessings and I am thankful. Thought I would share my thoughts to all those who have lost a pet, or about to lose a pet.

  322. Donna says:

    Collette, I totally understand how you are feeling. On January 17, 2010, two days after you, I too had to put my beloved dog Bailey to sleep due to lymphoma. Bailey was 13 years old and diagnosed with cancer the latter part of November. Although we tried everything in our power to provide some quality of life for her during the very short time period of 8 weeks, this vicious killer disease took its toll on my Baileygirl and we had to make that horrible decision that I honestly hoped that I wouldn’t have to make. Toward the end I prayed that I would wake up in the morning and she would have succumbed on her own but that was not to be

    I have cried and continue to cry each day. I have screamed and asked God why her, why me and my famiy. She was an amazing dog, faithful, loving, loyal so why would you put her and us through such misery. I have no answer to this yet and I’m not sure I ever will.

    Bailey was always there in the morning to greet me when I woke up and she would be the last one I would say goodnight to. Now that she is not with me I am finding that the void is unbearable. 8 weeks just didn’t give me a “time to prepare” if there is such a thing. The constant ache and missing feeling in my heart hurts so much, will this ever go away! I am so very lucky to have a very supportive family to help me through this but right now all the words of comfort and “you made the right decision” isn’t worth a hill of beans. The plain and simple truth is that I miss Bailey tremendously and I just can’t imagine how it is going to be without her with us.

    I will hold onto the belief that wherever she is she is not suffering anymore and will wait for me when the time comes for me to rejoin her again.

  323. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Collette,

    My thoughts and prayers are with you as you grieve for your dog — and I’m so glad Greg wrote in! That was so helpful.

    I agree with him, that God is NOT punishing you or Trixie. She got sick, as so many humans and animals do. That’s part of being on earth, of being a living creature. It’s not about vengeance or punishment…it’s about being alive in an unhealthy world.

    I will say special prayers every night for you and your husband, as you grieve your loss.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  324. Greg Peterson says:

    Dear Collette,

    I am sorry to hear about Trixie, whose death is even that much more painful because she was young. On Jan. 6th, 2010 we lost our Millie at age 10 and it too seemed unfair.

    I always assummed by showering her with love and her general happy disposition would ensure she’d live to at least 15.

    We cry every day – and understand the pain and undescribeable severity of the loss – like a family member because she was a family member.

    You are not being punished by God!!!!

    She did not “deserve” to die and from what I have researched its impossible to really tell how and why a dog gets cancer – much like many human cases when an otherwise healthy person get cancer.

    I believe that it was either just her (and Millie’s) time or maybe there is a higher reason and she will save your life or protect you in some way (because I believe all things happen for a reason even if we never know the reason).

    Just from not having her around you will change your daily patterns and who knows it may prevent you from being killed in an accident or something else.
    Who knows?

    Rest assured that she loved you so much and she definitely knows that you loved her but how you treated her and showered her with affection (I prefer to say “love” instead of “loved” – in the present context because you still love her and wherever she is Trixie still loves you.

    If our beloved Millie had not died, we may not have noticed the huge pupils in one of our cat’s eyes (both eyes, one cat) which resulted in a trip to vet and a kidney failure diagnosis requiring only a different diet and no meds because we caught it early – Vet even said it was impressive we noticed that tiny clue without other symptoms.

    I do not believe God is a vengeful God that would punish a beloved pet because of anything the owner may or may not have done especially one that treated the pet with such love, courtesy and adoration.

    You are NOT being punished – but I am sure that both Trixie and Millie knew/know how much they were and are adored.
    Yet – knowing this it still doesn’t make it any less painful.

    We are low-income but were lucky to find a local artist who is giving us a very reasonable rate and payment plan to make a little tombstone with a mosaic of Millie’s face – and he is making a special solid container to bury here in once the ground thaws.

    Here in extreme northern Michigan both pets and humans must be frozen till the spring thaw – our vet guided us through this practice – and she is currently temporarily buried under four feet of snow – a weird and even unsettling thing but vet assured us it happens all the time.

    We thought about cremation until we found out the crematory that does animals (and people) a long distance from us does a mass cremation instead of an individual one for each pet – so there is no guarantee you’d get your pet’s remains.

    God bless you Collete and God Bless your beautiful Norfolk terrier Trixie and our Springer Spaniel Mix Millie. (My girlfriend of twelve years lived in Norfolk as a child when her dad was stationed on the ill-fated U.S.S. Forrestal – thankfully he survived the fire/explosions).

    p.s. Thank you Laurie for answering our cat questions.

  325. Collette says:

    I had to put my precious 7 year old Norfolk Terrier, Trixie, to sleep on January 15th, 2010. She had been diagnosed with lymphoma in September of last year. Talk about a shock! I think it would have been easier if someone would have just hit me in the stomach with a baseball bat! Trixie’s health had been steadily declining over the last few months, but she took her turn for the worst last Tuesday. She stopped eating, would hide in corners or under the bed, and her breathing became very labored. She was dying. My husband & I were present with her when she left this earth. Letting her go has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. All I see is her face & I can’t stop crying. I cry all day and all night. My pain in indescribable. She was precious, gorgeous, loving, loyal, playful, and just a wonderful companion. She was also the center of attention for everyone in the house. We have two other dogs and they’re wonderful too. But there was something super-special about my Trixie. I’m wondering what did she do to deserve this death sentence at such a young age? Is God punishing me because I showered her with so much love and attention? She was just a sweet beautiful little dog that everyone loved and who never hurt a soul. How are we going to adjust to our lives without our Trixie? My life & heart now have this huge hole in it and I don’t know if it will ever be filled again. Trixie was my baby, my shining light and I miss her so much. I haven’t felt this much pain since my father died 25 years ago. I know I am not alone because I have read the other stories of those who have lost beloved pets, and I send you all my condolences & prayers. Please pray for me that God will ease my heartache.

  326. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Greg,

    I’m so sorry for your loss of your beloved Millie. It’s so difficult to lose a pet — and our other pets definitely feel the loss and heartache when one of their peers is ill or dies!

    For specific advice for Leady and Willow — especially if you think they’re seriously suffering — I suggest you talk in person to your vet or some type of animal expert. There are lots of nuances in their behavior and relationship that can’t be described in a comment section like this.

    That said, here are a couple of thoughts on helping your surviving cats cope with the death of your dog:

    – Give them time to adjust to Millie’s absence, and mourn in their own way. Their world has changed, and they can’t just go back to normal…they need to reconfigure their relationship.

    – Give them both extra attention, both together and apart. Play with them together, give them cat treats, talk to them more…the extra love and affection will help them feel more secure and less confused.

    – Remember that they’re picking up on your grief that you lost your dog. Cats and dogs can be very sensitive to our emotions; your cats may be picking up on your sadness and feelings of loss and heartache.

    I really think the most important thing is to give them time to heal. They’ll re-establish themselves at home, after a period of re-adjustment!

    Wishing you all the best — and I’m sorry for your loss.

    Blessing,
    Laurie

  327. Greg Peterson says:

    A few more things.
    When Millie was in a coma – Leady sniffed her and tried to walk on her – which we stopped.
    It appears like Leady now thinks she’s boss- but she never did that too much to Willow when Millie was alive.
    Any ideas how to stop this?
    I just put Leady in the basement (another place they play sometimes) and willow went to eat.
    Willow had basically been sitting in her bed all day.
    I never saw Millie protect Willow but they were friends and all 3 often shared our bed especially if one of us was sitting on the bed watching TV.
    But now Willow seems apprehensive – or at least indifferent – to jumping on bed to be brushed.
    I am thining abut putting Leady in basement for an hour every time I see her get aggresive with Willow.
    They (Willow and Leady) don’t “fight” per se – but it’s an obvious cooling in their relationship – with Leady apparently thinking she is now the boss.

  328. Greg Peterson says:

    We lost our beloved Millie on January 6 (this week) who had been with us 10 years – since a newborn puppy.
    The whole in our lives are unimaginable.
    I did not think she would die until 15 years old or more because we surrounded her with love, she was literally the kindness dog (family member to us) I ever met.
    Since her death our two cats have acted strangely.
    When Millie was in acoma (four hours on our bed before vet could put her to sleep) – the oldest cat Willow who always lived with millie stepped up smelled her – and laid down.
    She (Willow) has not been herself – like jumping up on bed to be brushed and sharing dinner/snack.
    The younger cat Leady (first owned by my daughter) – who has lived here for approx three years – seems to be acting a bit more aggressive – not outrageous but seems to be acting like boss (they had minor tussles before, often played and seemed about equal).
    Do you think that Millie offered some type of protection for Willow.
    Made her more confident – or something.
    Willow is much quieter, seems almost confused, and seems to fear or not have time for Leady.
    When we call Willow’s name, Leady comes running – and will leave whatever she is doing to see who called Willow.
    We can’t tell f we are imagining this in our grief over Millie.
    Our devastation over Millie is almost indescribable – a huge whole in our hearts – a breath sucking, ill feeling.
    But we want Wilow and Leady to resume their past relationship if possible.
    Separating them doesn’t seem to make Willow any better.

  329. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Dear Ivo,

    I’m thinking of you today as you put your beloved dog to sleep forever. You’re right: it is the final loving act you can do for him. He wouldn’t be happy here on earth after getting sick — now he’s a free spirit.

    Remember the best of Bolinhas, and of your grandfather….dwell in the love and joy they brought. Soon your heartache will fade, and you’ll be happy again.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  330. Ivo says:

    Hi everyone.

    Tomorow 17, December I’ll put my beloved dog to sleep.
    My 10 yr and 7 months dog Bolinhas get ill suddenly, when we run to the vet it was already to late, he has a large tumour across multiple organs.
    He was so vivid that breaks my heart to see him in this state, it will be so hard to put him to sleep but I think is the final act of love that I can give to him.

    It’s was been so hard to cope with this situation I always though this day would eventually came but now that it come is so painful.

    It’s even more painful because the dog was given to me by my grandfather that pass away in 2006, memories of this other loss are already so fresh in my mind, and now I cant stop thinking about the happy times we spend together and how I miss both of them so much.

    I’m Portuguese and in Portuguese there is a unique word “Saudade” that is very hard do translate, it’s like “I Miss You” with a very deep meaning.
    “Saudades” it’s what I’ll feel for my Bolinhas forever…

    Thanks you all for reading my story and for sharing my story with me make me fell more comfortable.

    Best wishes
    Ivo

  331. Helen says:

    I lost Tupla, my little fuzzy fighter today. We got her almost 6 1/2 years ago through a tiny little ad in the newspaper, “for sale ex breeding beagles”. We went, I fell in love and we took her home the same day. She really was the proverbial grumpy old woman, and my god she could be verbal when she wanted something.
    She had to go to the vets to have a polyp removed this morning, but due to it being attached the wrong way, the vets called us up and asked us what we wanted to do. The selfish part of me wanted to bring her home, but the sensible owner in me said not to wake her. That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. She’d been through so much though, what with knee injuries and cancer, and I couldn’t put her through any more.
    I feel sick though, because I didn’t see her before she left, and I never got the chance to say goodbye, and at the moment, that hurts the most, well, that and missing her grumpy little face staring at me. I turn round and keep expecting to see her, and it breaks my heart to know I can’t sing me and my shadow to her.
    God, I miss her so much, and I hope this won’t hurt forever.

  332. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Josh,

    I’m so sorry that you lost your dog — especially in such a sad, painful way.

    I join Tina and Kathy in saying prayers for you. I hope you can forgive yourself and not beat yourself up for anything you did or didn’t do. If you had known what was going to happen, you would have acted differently — you didn’t harm your dog on purpose!

    It was an accident, and you have to keep reminding yourself that you did the best you could.

    I wrote an article about coping with the guilt of your dog or cat loss — here’s the link:

    How to Cope With the Guilt of Your Pet’s Death

    I hope it helps, and my condolences are with you. May your health stay strong and you find a new reason to get out of bed in the mornings…feel free to come back here and share anytime.

    Best wishes,
    Laurie

  333. Tina Slater says:

    I am so very sorry for your loss. It’s inexcusable that car didn’t stop. I hope for you that you can heal in both body and spirit. I said a prayer for you today.

  334. Kathy Bennett says:

    Oh my goodness, I am SO very sorry for what you have gone through. You are in a tremendous amount of pain and I know that it is devastating. You loved your puppy with all your heart and what happened was not your fault. Terrible things like that happen and there is nothing we can do about it, but my heart aches for you.

    I love animals so much and to have to go through that is just terrible. I have said prayers for you that you will get through this and heal. It will take some time, but you gave that puppy a loving, good home and a good life while you had it. Please know how sorry I am that you went through this and you can write anytime. I am going to pray hard for you and I wish you the very best. And I am SO SO sorry for your loss. God bless you and may you find comfort through this terrible ordeal.

    Take good care and please know that I will pray for you….

    Sincerely,
    Kathy

  335. Josh says:

    I lost my 8 month old dog this morning to a car accident. I had her since she was 3 months. During the night she had chewed through her harness which I normally use to walk her. I decided to use her normal collar instead in the morning because she had to go out to pee, it was early with no store open to buy a replacement, and I thought it would be OK. She pulled, got loose and wanted me to catch her…she was playing. I did everything I could to get her out of the street but she wanted to play. I watched as a car came barreling down the street and ran her over with out stopping or giving any kind of notice. I ran to her side but I couldn’t do anything, I was helpless. I love her so much, this loss hurts me so much. I had to sit there and watch her gasp her last breaths and die. There was blood everywhere, I was covered in her blood. I couldn’t do anything for her. I am devastated. I can’t get these images out of my mind. I failed her. I was meant to protect and provide for her, and I failed her.

    A while back I was diagnosed with a potentially fatal illness, I had gotten her during the time a few months back when I was trying to get my life back together after dealing with this. There were days were I only lived for her. I had to get out of bed to walk her, I had to make sure she ate..even if I didn’t. She gave me a purpose; she filled my life. I look around my apartment and I realize how much of it I gave over to her. Her Bowls and leashes and many toys, all the things she chewed…puppies will be puppies and despite the destruction I was happy she was mine.

    I realize that she was a great dog. She was very social and happy. She always had to say hi to every person, dog, or cat that walked by. She was always the one leading the pack in the dog runs I would take her to as she ran around with all of them following her. Everyone loved her and many people took notice of her exceptional demeanor.

    I am at a great loss.

  336. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Marie,

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Thanks for reaching out to Jessica and sharing your story about Lily.

    Here’s the poem you referred to:

    The Rainbow Bridge Poem for Pet Loss

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

    There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

    There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

    The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

    Author unknown.

  337. marie says:

    jessica , i know what its like and it will get better i sadly lost lily my beloved cat he was run over by a van on the 4th of september 09, he follow my neighbour to the bus stop on a main road ,i could,et stop crying all day and i had to have medication to calm me down as i was really bad, am 30 with no kids and lily was my baby i feel totally lost it really hurts ,i been crying every day since and i know my partner just wants me to get on with it but i cant, there’s a poem called rainbow bridge and that is sweet and that has helped me , also we have had him cremated and his ashes have been scatterd in a forrest , i wanted more so i have planted a tree in the garden and getting a engraved stone made so i go out and remmber lily everyday and thats how dealing with it , its okay to cry for edward as you had such a bond with him and a cat is still a life just like a human take care marie xx

  338. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Jessica,

    I’m so sorry about Edward….that’s so sad. That’s one of the hardest things to face — such a sick, scared, helpless little kitty cat. I’m sure he was so glad that you were there, and I’m sure he knew that you would do anything you could to help him.

    Again, I’m sorry you had to go through that with him. My cat was hit by a car, and I had to take her to the vet, who recommended putting her down. It was an absolutely terrible, awful experience….and my heart goes out to you.

    Losing a cat or dog pierces your heart and soul, and you just have to let yourself grieve the loss of your cat. It won’t be easy, and I’m afraid I have no magic words or solutions that will make it better. Like Luc who just wrote yesterday about losing his dog…your grief and pain is just something you’ll have to experience. I’m sorry.

    Hold on to the idea of kitty heaven; a place where all cats go to be happy and healthy and whole. It helps me to think of my cats being up in kitty heaven! I hate that they’re not here with me, but thinking of their souls being happy and light makes me feel alot better.

    Know that you’re not alone, and talk to people about your loss. Sometimes it helps to find friends and family members who have experienced the same type of loss, who know how we feel because they’ve been there.

    And, consider memorializing Edward somehow. This can be by putting a picture in a sweet picture frame, or dedicating a small part of the yard to him by putting flowers or a special pile of rocks. Or, you can make a scrapbook with some pictures, cat toys, labels from his favorite food, etc — sometimes creating something to remember our beloved pets by helps us grieve.

    Lastly, remember that it’ll take time to heal. You’ll never forget Edward, but someday you won’t feel so much pain when you remember him. Someday, you’ll be ready to love another cat just as much as you did Edward.

    In sympathy,
    Laurie

  339. Jessica says:

    I recently had to put my 1 year old kitten Edward to sleep because he had either feline aids or feline leukemia. I can’t really get over it because I raised him since birth, we were very close, and I was the only person in the house he loved. His death was so sudden. He was healthy, and then he got outside, and I found him, and it was horrible. He was so sick. We took him to the vet the next day, and we were told he was close to death, so we had to put him to sleep. I still cant forget how sick he looked and how we was having seizures, having trouble breathing, moaning, and me petting him before he died. He died a day before his first birthday. I still cant get over his death, it was too soon, and I cant stop crying everyday and I still feel the loss. I’ve tried talking to my mother, but she doesn’t understand since “hes not human.” I’m also 15, so this hurts a lot, Edward is my first animal death. Please help me. D:

  340. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Hi Luc,

    I’m so sorry about your dog. Losing a beloved pet can be one of the hardest things we face in life….and I’m afraid there isn’t much you can do.

    If you can be there as he is put to sleep, that might help you say good-bye. This is too much for some pet owners, while others find it comforting to hold their dog or cat as it drifts off to sleep.

    To help you cope after the death of your dog, I suggest letting yourself grieve: cry and get angry and feel sad. It’s very painful, but getting your emotions out by expressing them is better than ignoring them or pretending they don’t exist.

    Remember that your pain WILL lessen as time goes by. Most people, it seems, take a few weeks before the worst pain begins to heal. You’ll always remember your dog, but the pain and heartache you feel now will begin to fade.

    Again, I’m very sorry for your loss. I wish I had the magic words to stop your pain, but I’m afraid it’s just something you’ll have to go through.

    I hope it helps to know you’re not alone. So many of us have loved dogs and cats, and were devasted at their loss….it’s just part of loving a creature.

    My condolences,
    Laurie

  341. luc says:

    i am about to loose my dog because he is being put to sleep and he is the best dog i have ever had what should i do

  342. Diane says:

    I was googling – Coping with the loss of your pet – and stumbled on this site. I had to put my 9-1/2 year old yellow lab to sleep this morning and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. She developed this bump on her head a couple weeks ago – they found out it wasn’t an infection, but a tumor/cancer. Then I had to decide if I do a biopsy, then surgery, then radiation, chemo – She (Shadow) was hurting SO much – the bump spread down to her eye – which became extremely swollen and blood shot, then the side of her face became swollen. She would yelp if our other small dog jumped up or if we/someone patted her too hard. I slept with her al night last night and she just couldn’t get settled. Gave her 3 pain meds – and when she cried/yelped for no reason – without being bumped – I knew I was making the right decision to have her put to sleep. My only daughter – 18- went with me – after all – Shadow was her sister – Putting her to sleep was actually a very peaceful process – after they gave her the sedative – she looked so peaceful again and even happy – you could just see all the pain in her face melt away. It is – SO hard, though, I’ve cried all day – As a single Mom for the last 7 years – she was my constant companion and best friend and confidant. I keep seeing her every where in the house (at 90 lbs. – she physically took up a lot of space) – I do know she’s in a better place – happy again – like she always was – not hurting – but I’m sure missing her.

    Thanks for listening
    Diane

  343. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    Also — did you read Tips for Coping When Your Dog Dies?
    http://theadventurouswriter.com/blog/quipstipsachievinggoals/health-wellness/tips-for-coping-when-your-dog-dies/

    You WILL stop feeling so wretched some day, and you will be able to go about your job and life without feeling so sad….it just takes time.

  344. Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen says:

    You did the right thing by letting her go, Linda. Her time here with you had to end….as all good things must. I’m sorry for you, and for all of us who lost dogs or cats to death. Very sad.

    Here’s a quotation I found, written from the departed dog’s point of view:

    “One last word of farewell, dear master and mistress. Whenever you visit my grave, say to yourselves with regret but also happiness in your hearts at the remembrance of my long happy life with you: “Here lies one who loves us and whom we loved.” No matter how deep my sleep I shall hear you, and not all the power of death can keep my spirit from wagging a grateful tail.”

    — Eugene O’Neill, from his Dalmatian, Blemie’s, last will and testament.

    Tiny is only gone from the physical earth. She is still watching you, wagging her tail, and savoring the moments you had together.

    Hugs and warm wishes,
    Laurie

  345. Linda Meaux says:

    My heart is broken, Tiny,my precious 10 year old female Boston Terrier, was euthanized on Monday. She suddenly developed an enlarged liver, her heart began to fail. My vet tried everything but she suffered another seizure, I know it was best not to see her want to eat, no energy to stand .
    How do I go about my job and not feel so wretched. I pray the pain and emptyness in my life will go away.

  346. Kathy says:

    Thank you so much for your comments , Laurie. They really did help me and I appreciate them from the bottom of my heart.

  347. Laurie PK says:

    There is no death. Only a change of worlds. – Chief Seattle

  348. Laurie PK says:

    Kathy,

    I’m sorry about ZuZu — and sorry for how terrible you feel. I never know what to say when people share about coping with pet loss, because it’s so sad! There’s really nothing that can make your pain better.

    But, you’re not alone.

    Remember that cats are quite resilient, and they’re survivors! Sometimes cats come back after months, or even a year, of roaming. Don’t give up hope yet….she might come home yet.

    And, maybe you could focus on the GOOD things that may have happened. She could’ve been scooped up by a loving family, a caring child, and is relaxing in bliss right now! She misses you alot, but she’s well taken care of. If she could come home, she would…but she’s found herself in this new place and can’t find her way home. It’s good, though…she’s happy and content.

    Kathy, try and think of ZuZu being happy. Thinking the worst doesn’t help you or your family…and it won’t change where she went. Do you know what I mean?

    You could also try sending positive “law of attraction” vibes into the universe: She WILL come home, and she IS happy and content. Keep focusing on the positive…and positive things will happen.

    And — try to free yourself from guilty feelings. She escaped by accident. It wasn’t your fault. When we lose our pets (whether it’s our dog dying or a cat getting sick or lost), we tend to blame ourselves….but we can’t possibly protect our beloved animals from everything!

    Best wishes — and do let me know if ZuZu comes back, and how you’re doing!

    Laurie

    (By the way — I’m sorry, but I had to remove your email address from your comment. Publicizing your email like that opens you up to all sorts of spam, and I avoid personal contact info in the comments.)

  349. Kathy says:

    PS I read all of your stories and I am so very sorry for your losses. I understand the human/animal bond because I have loved animals dearly all of my life. Wishing for you all many blessings and much peace.

  350. Kathy says:

    My inside cat ZuZu got out on June 5 when the cat carrier broke and I am just devastated. I have checked the shelter online daily, did the auto phone “Amber alerts”, sent out post cards, made fliers…every lead I have gotten I checked out, even one last night. ZuZu is over a year old, spayed, all her shots, we took such good care of her. She is timid and I feel very scared all alone. I am tormented not knowing if she has enough to eat, enough water, any attention. I am having such a hard time dealing with this. If anybody has any advice for me or any words of wisdom, please do comment. I am shattered. Thank you so much.

  351. Pam Crowley says:

    My Big Ole boy Clyde was put to sleep 7 months ago this week. I am devastated. My heart is just beyond broken. I try to think of the good times instead of the last day and some memories brings a smile to my face but mostly it is just bittersweet. I loved that dog fiercly and he loved me back the same way. I have 2 wonderful little daughters and when they came along I didnt have as much time for Clyde but my love for him was still as strong. I guess your heart can make room to love your children and your pet children. I dont think I will ever get over him and actually dont think I want too. I have alot of mixed feelings about what I did and what I should have could have would have done differently, which I guess we all do. I guess in the end its just horribly painful all around. Even through the pain though I feel lucky that I got Clyde(he was supposed to go to someone else who changed their mind at the last minute) and got to know and love him and vice versa. Thanks Clyde for all love and miss you always. I am sorry to all of you above who have also loved and lost a special friend. You are all good kind people with open hearts. Pam

  352. Laurie PK says:

    Thank you for sharing your pet loss stories — not only is it healthy for you to express how you feel, it’s also good for other people who have lost their pets to see that they’re not alone.

    I love Tracy’s sentiment, that she’ll meet her beloved dog Zen again one day.

  353. Tracy says:

    My beloved dog Zen was put down Wednesday 15th April 2009. Its been 5weeks tomorrow & I am missing him so so much. My heart feels broken. My life feels so different without him here. Some days I seem to be able to cope with it better but other days I can just burst into tears so easily.
    I have been reading about lot of other peoples experiences & I know that so many people have been thru this & can understand the pain.
    Its not just the fact they aren’t here anymore it’s that huge part of your everyday life that is gone also. I am grieving for that as well as my Zen.
    My heart goes out to everyone that has lost their best friend like I have.
    We will meet again one day.
    Love you forever my beautiful Zen. xxx

  354. Michael says:

    I had my cat put down tuesday the 5th of may 2009 she had a tumour her name was lady she was 12 she was a great friend to me would meet me at the door when I came home from work. I miss her so much

  355. amer says:

    Golden Retriever 15 ½ year old died Easter Sunday (2009). My son 11 year went to feed him and found him asleep and tried waking him up but Goldie was gone. I thing he had a heart attack. It has been very hard on us, I try to talk about him but I start to cry. I keep thinking what could we have know to help him. My children always played with him-he was a very good dog. Please pray for my family and me so we can accept the lost. I just cannot believe that he is gone, Goldie will always be in are hearts.

  356. Mary and Jim Cameron says:

    We had to have our precious dog Pepsi put to sleep last night, she was 12 yrs old, she was diagnosed with Cushings Diseise in Novemvber last year and since then her health has went down hill, her arthritis played up and the past week she was in so much pain, she developed a really nasty skin infection where all her fur fell off her rump and the infection was eating into her, we made the descision to have her put to sleep as we couldnt bear to see her suffer any more…we miss her so much.

    mary and jim

  357. Laurie PK says:

    Thanks for your thoughtful comments and kind words, Jackie. I’m sorry for your loss of Atticus, and for your loss of your baby, too.

    A mother once told me that before she had her child, she worried about how her most beloved cat would react, where her cat would sleep, and if it would be happy with a new baby in the house. She was even worried that she wouldn’t be able to put her child’s needs above her cat — she loved her cat THAT much!

    And then after her baby was born, she said, “My cat became just a cat.” Her instinctive love and bond with her child instantly surpassed her love for her cat.

    You’re right, Jackie. As painful as losing a pet dog or cat is, losing a child is devastating.

    Thanks again,
    Laurie

  358. Jackie says:

    I am currently grieving my beautiful Atticus, our Abyssinian who was so much a part of our family. I love that cat and will never get over losing him. But Joy, have you ever lost a human child? If you have I doubt you would have made the statement you made above. I also lost a child shortly after birth and I can tell you, that losing a child is harder and has had tremendous impact on my life…crumbled marriage. I would say that losing a child has the most impact on your life and this is very close behind. I am certain my relationships with my family will stay intact despite the loss we are all feeling so deeply right now, in fact I feel we are all closer. And to Karim..I am so sorry I truly know how you feel, we just lost Atticus last week but I know that with time the pain will subside and he will always be in our hearts and minds. Be good to yourself, give yourself the time and space you need to come to terms with your new life without your kitten. Peace.

  359. Laurie PK says:

    My heart breaks for you, Karim – I’m so sorry! It’s a terrible pain, I know exactly how you feel because I lost my cat and I believe it was my fault. I could’ve kept her safe, but instead I let her get really badly hurt, and had to put her down.

    Please don’t beat yourself up about it. She probably didn’t feel pain, because it happened so fast and her adrenalin kicked in! It was an accident – it wasn’t your fault.

    Your pain will subside, Karim. You’ll always feel sad and miss her, but I promise that you CAN cope and it WILL get better.

    My condolences — and know you’re not alone.

    Laurie

  360. Karim says:

    I lost a 6 month old kitten yesterday, she fell off the balcony of our apartment on the 7th floor and I feel terrible and it is so painful. I still have her mother but losing that young kitten whom I raised since birth is more then what I can handle and I think I can’t cope with it.

  361. Audrey says:

    Children also feel the loss of a pet and it can be distressing for them to not only lose the pet, but to see their adult carers distraught. It teaches them that grieving is normal, and that our animal friends are valuable. Depending on the age of the child, it’s a good idea to keep them informed about what’s happening.

    Audrey

  362. Joy Turner says:

    One of the things I find most advantageous is to allow yourself to grieve as much as you want. There are so many people who do not see the passing of an animal to be on par with the passing of a mate or child that there are not a lot of places to share this grief with. The passing of an animal companion is as much or even more impactful than even the passing of a human child (the thing that comes the closest). So allow yourself to grieve as you see fit and don’t listen to anyone who says otherwise. The other thing that is very helpful for many people is to talk with someone who can communicate with beings on the other side and have a conversation with the Soul of your dearly departed. Flowers essences and homeopathic remedies for grieving are excellent also.

    Joy Turner
    Talk With Your Animals

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