How to Cope With Your Pet’s Death – A Veterinarian’s Help
Two veterinarians describe how they coped with their pets’ death; their words of wisdom may help you say good-bye, grieve, and heal after your pet dies.
“Death…is not more than passing from one room into another,” said Helen Keller. “But there’s a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room, I shall be able to see.” Imagine that your beloved pet can see now, is healed now, and is happy and even waiting for you now….let that comfort you. You are not alone, for your pet is always in your heart.
The following stories about pet loss are from veterinarians who know what you’re going through. If you feel guilty or have regrets about your dog’s death, read How to Find Peace of Mind After Putting a Dog to Sleep. Remember that we all deal with grief differently, and it takes time to heal after losing a dog or cat that we love. Our love for our animals is surprisingly powerful, and healing after pet loss takes time.
A Veterinarian Shares How He Coped With His Pet’s Death
I remember losing our family German Shepherd as a 11 year old. I was devastated and it really was like losing a family member. The loss of a pet should not be taken lightly and it is not something most people get over quickly or easily – although many may think there is a social stigma not to grieve for animals as we do for humans. The fact is that the bond that is formed between people and their pets is in many cases even stronger than some of the bonds between people. Since losing our German Shepherd, I have lost two cats also – one was an elderly girl that had to be put down due to deteriorating health, whilst the other a couple of years later was sadly run over.
Each pet loss had a different effect on me, depending on the bond I had shared with each animal. I was particularly saddened by the death of our German Shepherd because I had grown up with her and because she had always been very close to me in my childhood. ~ From Veterinarian Mark Edwards.
Remember your pet’s life
An important way to cope with pet death is to focus on you pet’s life rather than the death (regardless of the circumstances in which they died). As for humans, grief is a five step process: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally the last stage – acceptance. Once you accept your pet’s death, it is not unreasonable to consider getting a new pet. This is definitely not something you should feel guilty about.
If your pet is still alive, read How to Know When to Put Your Dog Down.
Getting your pet cremated can help you grieve
You can chose to have their ashes given back to you in a wooden casket or an urn and can even have a picture and plaque put on this. Do give yourself plenty of time for the grieving process; you may even want to take time off work. You may be surprised how much the death of your animal affects you when it does finally happen.
Consider getting another pet – after you grieve your pet’s death
“I’ve lost five dogs over the years; the last dog I lost was almost 10 years ago,” says veterinarian Rosie Brown. “None died naturally, I had to euthanize them, and all but one had cancer. The other was euthanized as the result of a bad fall and was only 4 ½ years old.
I’m still sad, particularly about my “very best dog of all time.” She was euthanized years ago, and I still miss her. We did everything together: she came to work with me, we camped together, and I haven’t had a dog like her since. Coping with grief because of your dog’s death takes time. Losing a pet is like losing a family member. You always feel a degree of sadness, but after a while it doesn’t hurt so much.
Some people like to get a new pet straight away because the loss of the old pet leaves such a hole. If you’ve always had a dog around the house, and then all of a sudden there isn’t one that can exacerbate the great sense of loss. In that case, a new pet can give you something to love and hug while you grieve the loss of the old pet. However, people need to be very careful not to compare the new pet to the old pet, as it will never measure up.
Remember with a pet memorial
A Grasslands Road Pet Memorial Picture Frame is a beautiful way to honor your pet’s memory. This Pet Memorial Frame features a heartfelt sentiment and sculpted heart with paw print and golden halo.
If you have to put your cat or dog to sleep, it’s normal to go through the normal stages of grief: shock, denial, anger, guilt… I think denial and guilt are the two biggies when you have to say good-bye to your dog or cat.
Many people feel guilt about choosing to “kill” their pet but it’s not like that at all. If it comes to euthanasia, then you and your veterinarian know your pet’s quality of life will not be good. There’s nothing that can be done to make it better. You’re actually doing them a great kindness to end their suffering.
Read 5 Types of Cremation Urns for Your Dog’s Ashes for different ways to memorialize your pet.
Be kind to yourself
After your dog or cat has been put to sleep, be very kind to yourself and allow yourself to cope when your dog or cat dies. Take as long as you need to. Surround yourself with friends and family who understand what your pet meant to you, and who will listen to you and support you. The worst thing you can hear is “it’s only a dog, you can get another one.” Avoid people with that attitude, because it will only make you feel worse.
If you’re struggling with grief and guilty feelings because of the circumstances surrounding your dog or cat’s death, read How to Heal Your Heart After Losing a Pet: 75 Ways to Cope With Grief and Guilt When Your Dog or Cat Dies.
I interviewed veterinarians, grief counselors, and pet experts for the best ways to survive the death of a beloved dog or cat, and I included stories from real pet owners who coped with guilt and grief in sometimes surprising ways.
This ebook will help if you’re struggling with grief and guilty feelings because of the circumstances surrounding your dog or cat’s death. You’ll see you’re not alone, and you’ll learn how others coped with their pets’ deaths.
How are you coping with your pet’s death? I invite you to share below; describing your dog or cat’s life and death can help you heal. I can’t offer advice on how to cope with your pet’s death, but it may help you to share your experience.