Aug 192010
 

There is no best way to break free from the past that works for everyone – you need to try different things until you find what works for you.

And, you have to let Mother Nature do her job (let time heal!).

My most popular article is How to Let Go of Someone You Love - because moving on with your life is so difficult. Every day, that article gets hundreds of hits – and it barely skims the surface of letting go! I wanted to offer more (and better) information about saying goodbye and rebuilding life after loss, so I wrote 75 Ways to Let Go of Someone You Love.

In 75 Ways to Let Go of Someone You Love, I offer the best, most helpful tips and strategies for breaking from from the past from psychologists, life coaches, family therapists, and counselors. It’s about letting go of addictive relationships, affair breakups, estranged family members, and long-lost loves. This book is about healing, strength, and authenticity.

Break Free From the Past

Breaking free from the past isn’t something you do once – and poof! You’re free, healed, and happy! Rather, letting go is a journey peppered with steps forward and steps backward, good days and bad days, peaks and valleys.

How do I know? Because I’m an “old pro” at letting go. I grew up in foster homes, and was constantly saying hello and good-bye to new families, friends, schools, and cities. The downside of good foster homes is that it’s so hard to keep leaving and starting over. But I learned how to love, say good-bye, and open my heart to love again.

And I’ve loved and lost life partners – those heart-wrenching, gut-twisting breakups that slam you to the ground and rip you to pieces. Worse, though, was when my sister cut me out of her life. Five years ago, she told me she didn’t want to speak to me again and wouldn’t tell me why. That was the ultimate lesson in powerlessness and letting go.

If anyone knows how to break free from the past and move on with her life, it’s me!

All 15 chapters in this ebook about breaking free from the past start with a real person’s story of breaking up; some people have moved on while others are still trapped in the past. Maybe readers will recognize themselves in their stories. Even better, they’ll see how clinging instead of letting go steals their happiness, confidence, self-respect, and hopes for the future.

To learn more – and to see the Table of Contents – go to 75 Ways to Let Go of Someone You Love.

If you’re struggling to break from from a breakup, read Can’t Get Over the Break Up? How to Move Through the Pain.

And if you have any thoughts on breaking free from the past and moving on with your life, please share below…


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  8 Responses to “Break Free From the Past – 75 Ways to Move On With Your Life”

  1. I’m reading a book about self-compassion, and it describes the importance of feeling and accepting your pain. I’m beginning to think that breaking free from your past isn’t about distracting yourself, but rather moving into your feelings of loss so you can heal.

    I need to read the whole book to understand it better – but I will write an article about moving on with your life, based on that book.

  2. My boyfriend and I broke up in Oct. and I can’t get over it. He is such a good guy and I messed things up. I have insecurity issues and never believed he was into me, so I would sabotage the relationship or ‘test’ him. Well, he grew tired of this and i can’t say i blame him. Looking back now I realize that he did care for me, but it’s too late. I needed affirmation but he showed me he cared in other ways (fixing things and buying me little presents here and there). I just wish i realized sooner. He wasn’t very expressive so by him not telling me how he felt, i didn’t think he was into me. Plus, he dated me 2 months after a 3 year relationship, so i always felt like a rebound.

    I’ve tried getting him back but he said his heart isn’t into it anymore and that the fighting has caused a decay that he can’t recover from. I can’t keep thinking of the ‘what if’s’ and wishing i didn’t do the stupid things i did. I don’t meet guys (good guys especially) easy and i feel like i have lost my one chance at a good guy. There is no getting him back…i just need help on how to move on. I try and stay busy and hang out with friends, but it just depresses me more being out. I work and go to school full-time, but that doesn’t occupy enough of my time. I’m 34 years old and most of my friends are married or have boyfriends, so I’m trying to meet new people, but it’s tough at this age. I’m at my wits end…I can’t stop thinking about him and beating myself up for messing things up. Any advise is appreciated. Thank you.

  3. good day..im in a fresh break up..I was left hanging..I don’t even know where did i gone wrong. We went into a lot of fights yet, he just gave up in an instance. He said he loves me yet I can’t even feel it anymore. And I just can’t accept the fact that he left just li8ke that without calls and all. I kept on wonderin’ why. I know that everything is a matter of acceptance yet it takes time..how can I move on when he’s my happiness?

  4. in my case.. i just can’t.. my life is nothing without her..she’s my happiness.. how can i let go of something that makes happy? i need her back badly..

  5. Dear Mally,

    I know how you feel — FB has definitely made my life more difficult in many ways, especially with people I don’t have the best relationships with!

    It sounds like your family friend is one of those people you want to stay on good terms with, even though she’s a bit two-faced. Sometimes it’s better to just be polite and nice, and avoid the problems that come with being honest. It’s sad…but honestly, life is often easier if we’re polite but yet distant with certain people.

    If I were you, I’d consider calling and talking to her in person. Maybe you can reconnect with her, become FB friends again. That might be better than the conflict that’s going on now – not to mention the lies!

    I hope it works out for you…and that you and she find a way to become friends again.

    Or, maybe you just need to break from from her completely, and move on with your life! People will see her for who she is, and won’t buy into her deceptions.

    Blessings,
    Laurie

  6. I have a different problem that FB has enhanced. I have a family friend?!? that has made snide comments to me, cut me down, and belittled me in person but then in FB acts all sweet and mushy. I thought I was the only one that was having this problem but found out that it has happened to another person. So, we decided to unfriend them on FB. Well… she has gone on a rant in FB about people who really care and love of real friends and how some people are really mean. I shouldn’t care but I do. I was told about this by another family member who is still their FB friend and reached out to me specifically because she pointed me out in a message to her. She is making me out to be this evil person and all I wanted was to remove FB. I thought I should reconsider and re-friend her but now she has blocked me from everything on FB. The other shared friends are sending me messages asking why I will not reach back out to her and be her friend, why I am being so mean. I am being made to look even worse to my friends who are saying I should fix this. I hate that FB has taken a toll on my life but also irritated that I am letting it too.

  7. Thanks, Bruce. Breaking free from the past is SO important, yet so difficult for many people!

    And, I think that some people don’t want to break free from the past, or move on with their lives. It’s easier and more comfortable to stay where they are. In the comfort zone. Why? Because it’s familiar and nonthreatening. Even if it’s a terrible or sad place to be, it’s familiar…and we love the familiar.

    Breaking free from the past takes time, energy, and dedication. But once you do it, you get to move on with your life — and you feel light and free and happy!

  8. I think this book is great, Laurie. So many people have baggage that holds them back from having a happy and successful present and future. If someone is burdened by past relationships read this book. Then read it again.

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