How Men & Women View Money Differently
You’ve probably noticed that men and women view money differently in many cases - in fact, money problems are the root of most divorces. These 11 ways men and women handle money differently will give you some insight into yourself, your relationship with money, and maybe even your marriage.
But first, a quip for healthy women:
“What gets women in trouble when it comes to getting and keeping the job they want or accumulating the portfolio they need to live financially independent lives is the tendency to act like the “nice girls” they were taught to be in childhood, as opposed to acting like intelligent, capable, deserving adult women,” writes Lois Frankel in Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich: 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make With Money. (Click the book cover for more information about Frankel’s books on women and money).
In childhood, girls receive significantly different messages about money than boys do. This totally affects a woman’s relationship with money. It also helps to explain why and how men and women view money differently.
What Girls Hear About Money:
- “It’s better to do good than be rich.”
- “Girls just aren’t good at math.”
- “Men know more about money than you do.”
- “It’s just as easy to marry rich as it is to marry poor.”
- “Money doesn’t buy you happiness.”
Funny - Suze Orman totally disagrees with that last statement, too. Orman says that money may not buy happiness in the traditional sense, but it does give you the freedom and security to take better care of yourself, take risks, and not worry about paying the bills. If that isn’t a component of happiness, I don’t know what is.
11 Ways Men and Women View Money Differently
- Women are socialized to save money “just in case” something happens; men are encouraged to learn how to invest and make money grow.
- Women use money to take care of others; men use money to keep score.
- Women tend to buy what they want; men buy what they need.
- Women use money to create a lifestyle right now; men use money to prepare for the future.
- Women are cautious about investing money; men take investment risks.
- Women spend money on those they care about; men spend money on themselves.
- Women ask for what they think they deserve; men ask for what they want.
- Women view money in terms of relationships; men view money objectively.
- Women expect others to know more than they do; men learn how to be effective investors.
- Women gravitate towards the helping professions (which don’t pay very well); men tend to seek high-paying jobs.
- Women want to be fair during tough financial times; men advocate for themselves during financial straits.
Does this jive with your experiences with men, women and money? Feel free to comment below - I’d love to “hear” your thoughts!
As a woman, the more you understand your relationship with money - and the roots of that relationship - the better you’ll be at balancing your budget and reaching your financial goals.
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Comment by max on 9 August 2008:
I’d like to point out the obvious inconsistencies in this article. #5 is inconsistent with the theme presented that women look for ways to use money that yield quick rewards without consideration of the future. #2 and #6 seem to be fairly contrary to the (well supported) stereotype of the shopping girl which is also presented in #3 (buy what they want). I believe you may be mistaking a modern woman’s role in the house hold for her spending habits outside of the social standard. While #10 is correct I also would have to say that it has less to do with the difference in views of money but rather the roles that are presented as important in there lives. In a post woman’s rights movement society women are being told that it isn’t there job to raise a family, in fact in schools the house wife is often portrayed as a failure. Instead they are told to get a career, but with no goal other than fulfillment through success. This leads to a difference in gender opinions of the role of employment. Men still want to achieve success economically primarily to support a family or, in a more modern sence, to get the money it takes to get the ladies. Women care much less about money as neither of those reasons apply to them, the only goal of a career is fulfillment.
Comment by LauriePK on 10 August 2008:
Thanks for your comments, Max - you’ve made some really interesting points! My short response revolves around the fact that people - both men and women - are complicated, which means they often act in contradictory ways. So yes, I think a woman can buy what they want AND buy things to take care of others. I don’t think #2 and #6 are inconsistent with #3.
I actually don’t believe any one of Orman’s points about women and money are universally correct or incorrect. I think it’s different for each woman — and it can be different for the same woman at different stages in her life.
My career goal is to support myself financially, not just fulfillment, and I don’t believe “women care much less about money” than men, as you state in your last comment. I care more than I should about money.
But, I do agree that how women handle money is wrapped up in their gender roles - that’s a good point.
I’m glad you commented, Max - it’s always great to hear a different perspective!