As a writer, I have to constantly deal with rejection. So I wrote this article for you – it describes how I overcome my fear of rejection. It applies to dating, too!

Too Shy to Date? How to Overcome Fear of Rejection in Love

It’s also important to remember that you’re not the only one who is single and nervous about dating. Guys are, too. They have the same fears of rejection that you do. Perhaps they’re even MORE nervous than you, because they’re generally the ones who are doing the asking and calling.

Anyway, I hope the article helps and welcome your comments here or there.

Blessings,
Laurie

It’s really hard when the person we really like is taken but you deserve someone who is fully emotionally and physically available. I’m glad to hear that you’re only 21 because you have plenty of time to date and practice gaining confidence with the opposite sex. They are just people, like you, and through the process of dating more you will learn what you like and don’t like in a romantic partner. You will also learn to express and reveal yourself in a relationship, which takes practice. In terms of your shyness, make a list of all the great things there are about you and remember that any guy will be lucky to get to know you. Its important you remember that so you will be brave in reaching out. You may get some rejection in the process (like everyone does) but don’t reject yourself as a result. Remember that the right guy will stick around!

Good luck. Dating isn’t easy but it can be a huge growth process.

My Best,

Paulette

I admit that I am a bit (too much) shy when it comes into getting to know people. You could say that I’m also afraid of a possible rejection. What should a woman like me do? How will I get over my bashfullness and get on with my life? I mean I’m only 21 years old, I can’t be stuck with a man that doesn’t return my feelings for all eternity, can I?

P.S: Please pardon me if I made any mistakes. I’m not a native english speaker.

Circumstantial subjective situations (including timing, chemistry and prior attachments) do not mean that you are not a great person and a terrific catch for someone else, so keep on trying.

Having said this, as a psychologist, if someone has a long-standing relationship pattern of picking unavailable partners it can bear looking into. I do not know you so I can’t say it applies here. My book would help such a person understand why they are picking unavailable prospects instead of the people who really like them and want a committment. The emotional work would involve understanding their relationship blueprint (an exercise in my book). It would also look into whether they really want a committed relationship or have some fear around successfully creating one. Unless we understand and unblock old resistances, we can’t create something new.

Practically speaking, I’d advise them to look in places where they know prospects ARE available–ie singles events, dating sites or via introductions from friends who know their relationship status. This makes them warm leads because at least you know they too are looking to meet someone. Someone who is interested in you and available for a real relationship will consistently make the time, will give signals that they are romantically inclined and will not be in a serious relationship with someone else while dating you.

Hope this helps. Thanks for the comment.

Paulette

What if we fall into the friends box ?